Well, it's that magical time of the year again,
the time when my least favorite Christmas movie ever made
in the history of ever is put on television on loop,
the time that Harvard refers to as heart attack season,
because everyone is so freaking stressed out
by the end of the year, they can barely stand it,
and they're just promoting that as a headline
to let us all know that we should come to expect this.
And it's normal to live in a world and a system and a society
where everyone should just expect that to be the case.
And Congress, once again, tries to murder an entire forest
worth of trees to print off 1,500-plus page
continuing resolution bills to shove through.
Who knows even what to fund the government
for just a couple more, three more months, basically,
just three more months of funding for that government.
Watch as hog carcasses are broken down into primal cuts.
And Speaker Johnson, a man who was sadly born without a spine,
apparently, very sad for him,
had just got unsaid back in September
that there wouldn't be a Christmas omnibus bill.
We have broken the Christmas omnibus,
and I have no intention of going back to that terrible tradition.
So there won't be a Christmas omnibus.
Somebody asked me in the hallway a little while ago,
will there be many buses?
We don't want any buses.
We're not going to do any buses, okay?
And here it is.
And by the way, it included adjustments to congressional salaries
to reflect the cost of living changes,
increasing their annual salaries from $174,000
to $243,300, giving themselves a $69,000 raise.
What a tough vote.
When you could just pack everything else into that bill
and also a raise on top of it,
you're not allowed to just vote for your own raise.
You got to vote for it all.
So isn't that cool how that works?
That's so amazing how awesome that is for them.
I am so glad that the American people voted for them
to represent the American people.
And then they got in there and voted for themselves
for a nearly $70,000 annual raise.
Let's watch the development of the ham,
one of the first meat cuts to receive attention.
So glad, because they're doing such an awesome job.
They really should be just giving themselves.
They raise equivalent to a whole salary
for other people in this country.
That's amazing.
Who the hell even knows what's in there?
They just try to shove that right through
because they know everybody just wants to go home
for Christmas.
They know that's how it works.
And they've been doing that now
for over a hundred freaking years.
Just want to remind everybody,
this is how we got the Federal Reserve.
They just waited until it was right at the end there
and shove that thing right through.
And the nation actually wrote about this
on New Year's Day, 1914.
And this really sums up what they do every year,
but this is how we got the Federal Reserve
and this is what they've been doing since.
When the historian who leaves nothing out
comes to write the full account of the passage
of the currency bill, that's the Federal Reserve Act,
he will not omit reference to the influence
of the Christmas spirit.
Congress was as eager as a small boy
to get off for the holidays,
and there stood the cruel resolution
of the Democratic majority not to adjourn
unless the bill was passed.
This undoubtedly had the effect of hastening
final action.
The drawing near of the gracious Christmas tide
seemed to calm the savage beast
of the filibuster,
and to still the passions of the makers of long speeches.
It was rumored that Senator LaFollette
would insist upon speaking for two or three days,
so they were threatening to talk for two or three days,
keeping people there.
And one can imagine the apprehensive looks
that were cast in his direction,
but he let his music die within him.
Even he could hardly have faced the universal rage
that would have fallen upon him
if he had ruined the congressional vacation
over the holidays.
The whole thing was a wonderful demonstration
of what Christmas can do
in the sphere of legislation.
It was the old miracle over again.
No voice or hideous hum
runs through the arched roof.
Puk!
I mean, this is so obvious that it's just
beating a dead horse, but obviously
government is meant to be
out in the open, examined.
Things are to be debated.
The pros and cons weighed
and know as to be voted
if things are unconstitutional,
not good for the country.
This is their bill.
2,500 pages.
If you take a look at
$3.5 trillion price tag
and you do the math,
that's $1,400,000,000
for every page
of this bill.
And they want to pass it this week.
I mean,
the whole idea of this,
especially being timed around Christmas
and holidays, is some kind of secret
Santa game, like,
ooh, it'll be a fun mystery box
what's in our legislation.
But this is our government here.
The world has had several centuries
of not millennia of secret government
and it was pretty crappy overall.
It was a lot of,
you don't have a right to look behind
our secret panel.
The king, the priest will tell you what to do.
That was never what the system
of government was supposed to be,
but they seem to have the idea that,
well, you voted for your legislators.
You had a chance to weigh in
on how government's going to be run
and now it's time to leave it to the big boys.
Well, the mystery game isn't that big
of a surprise.
It's just all the worst lobbyists
cramming their stuff into the mystery box
and you're supposed to accept it
as though it's some wonderful gift.
It's just a gross blank log,
a little fruitcake stuffed
with all the nuts and berries
of lobbyists and special interests
and all the things that would never survive
if they were debated in the light
and the openness of day
and everyone knew what was going on.
Instead, they do it at the last minute
when people want to leave for the holidays
and when ordinary people in the country
are not paying attention because they're focused on
family and time off
and traveling and things of that nature.
The hams slide down a chute to the floor below
where they are fed on to the automatic
scaling line.
It's just gross and it happens
every year. It's a betrayal of what
this country was supposed to be.
I mean, our whole system's
collapsing clearly.
This is not the way anything should be done.
It's a travesty. This is what they do
with the American people's money.
This is what they do every year.
This is why we're in 36 trillion
freaking dollars in debt, a number
so astronomically high
and cartoonish that no one can
even imagine what that looks like
in their brains. Your brain would liquefy
and drip out your ears
if you tried to, okay? It's just not possible.
It's not possible to even
visualize. At this point, we might as well
just be making up terms.
It's 36
bajillion to billion dollars.
Like, it doesn't even, it's not a
it's not real, it's none of it's real
and none of it is grounded
in anything even remotely close
to what anyone would call reality,
okay? It's a clown show.
It is a circus. It is
insane. They do this
every year now.
Smoking of the cure
81 hams is also done
with care.
To the point that it just looks
like they basically just cut
down a chunk of tree
and went, here we go, this is what we're doing
trillions of dollars, billions of dollars
bajillions of dollars.
Here it is. Go ahead and try to read it.
Ha, ha, ha.
And what it sounds like is happening
instead of
looking at that and going, oh, that's
insane.
It's insane that
we have people like Nancy Pelosi saying things like
you got to pass the bill to find out what's
in it.
It's going to be very, very
exciting.
But we have to pass the bill so that you can
find out what is in it
away from the fog
of the controversy.
Instead of that being done away with
it sounds like what we're moving towards
is a time where AI will just
run through a bill and tell you
what is in it. But then we're just moving from trusting
Congress to do its job
to trusting AI to tell us the truth.
Which is
you know, I think extremely
questionable considering how
it has been programmed, considering
the things that have been said recently
in interviews by people who are
very high up in the tech situation
talking about how the government
is going to be single-handedly controlling
artificial intelligence
or wants to.
We had meetings in D.C. in May where we
talked to them about this and the meetings
were absolutely horrifying and we came out
basically deciding we had to endorse Trump.
What did you hear in those meetings?
AI is a technology basically that the government is going to
completely control. This is not going to be a start-up
thing. They actually said flat out to us
don't do AI start-ups, like don't
fund AI start-ups. It's not
something that we're going to allow to happen.
They're not going to be allowed to exist. There's no point.
They basically said AI is going to be a game
of two or three big companies working closely
with the government and we're going to basically
wrap them in a, you know, I'm paraphrasing
but we're going to basically wrap them in a government cocoon.
We're going to protect them from competition.
We're going to control them and we're
going to dictate what they do.
Look, I like Grok just fine.
Open AI, not so much at all.
But that's not the point.
We shouldn't be delegating
the job that we
voted on people to go do
that they are doing so
absolutely abysmally. You could
not fail harder than these people. They're not
going to sit there and read 1500 pages
by Friday.
And it's not to say that AI couldn't help
analyze that. It's to say that why are we
making bills that are so
massively long, just shoving everything
in there, hiding it from everybody. I mean
stuff is coming out as I'm trying to edit
this, right? It just came out that
somewhere buried in this bill, we're funding
a dozen
biolabs to conduct
biomedical research.
Because we all know that went super well in the last
four years, didn't it? You know, any
other situation these people
were in, not doing their job
voting to give themselves a raise
and then not doing their job
that they were voted for,
they would be fired in any other
place they possibly worked, failing this
hard. They would be fired.
It's insane. This is
insane. It can't continue.
It cannot continue. The weight
of the insanity
will implode the thing.
It's not possible, you know?
The blended
ingredients are now vacuum mixed.
It is next
transported to the emulsifier
hopper.
The ingredients are
completely emulsified.
I don't know that we're moving towards
a better idea with that, but
the precedent is being set right now
because this cannot continue the way it is
at all. Here's what the finished product
looks like inside.
The real test of quality.
This was never the intention
of anything. This is insane and stupid.
The Hill has an article
that tells you little bit of highlights
of what is in this bill.
Billions more dollars to FEMA
so they can, I don't know,
do
continue to be the joke
they have been as a
federal emergency management agency
because as we all know they did so well
this year with Hurricane Helene
that we definitely need to just give them
even more billions of dollars to reward
that stupidity
with more trust
that those funds will be allocated appropriately
in the next few months.
It's just, you know
Back to the pork cut
the story of bacon.
It's so stupid.
It's gotten so dumb.
There's not even a way to intelligently
I feel
narrate for you what is happening.
Pork shoulder
and ham meat are taken
from this picnic boning line
and used for the manufacture of spam.
It's basically like
waking up in idiocracy
this is how the government is run
and once again I'm going to let Thomas
Massey take it out because
he said this was exactly what was going to happen
back in September. He gave a whole speech
this is exactly what's going to happen
is he a swami? Does he have a crystal ball?
No. The reason Thomas Massey knows
this is what's going to happen is because he's been sitting there for 12 years
watching it happen
talking against it for over a decade
and they just keep doing it.
So he's not psychic
he's just been around for a while
we've all just been around for a while
and we're getting pretty freaking sick of it.
I also predicted this would fall
right before Christmas
and I believe this
this does fall on December 20th
now why have we
picked December 20th
because it's the same
reason we always
have December 20th
everybody up here is human
there are no AAIs
or robots in Congress
and when you get to December 20th
you're five days from Christmas
you're four days from Christmas Eve
and you desperately want to be there
with your family
so this is when
the leadership here has the maximum influence
and again I'm talking to the Democrats
and the Republicans because
you've seen it on the Democrat side of the aisle
they love to pick
the week before Christmas
for this showdown
because you can smell the jet fuel
fumes over at DCA
it smells like Christmas
that you're going to get to go home
in open presence. I've been in HC5
when literally the speaker of the house
not the speaker we have now
walks in and says
if you vote for this you can go home
and unwrap presents with your kids
and if you don't vote for this
you're going to spend Christmas here with Nancy Pelosi
and then the chance starts
vote, vote, vote, vote
literally people get
enthusiastic to vote for something
that they haven't read
so let me predict what we're not going to do
on December 20th
before I take a guess at what we're going to do
what we're not going to do
we're not going to do 12 separate bills
we are not going to spend this time
we've got a few months
between now and December 20th
we could go back to working on appropriations bills
we are not going to do this
this sucker
whatever happens on December 20th
whether it's another CR to punt
to kick the can down the road
for three more months or whether it's an omnibus
that funds all of government
with one bill
it's going to be written behind closed doors
and every lobbyist
in this town
is going to try to attach
their little thing to this bill
The Wieners are next discharged
onto a much wider conveyor belt
for even distribution
to four high speed take away
belts
this train is leaving the station
on December 20th
it's the only one that we know
is going to pass
they call it up here must pass
legislation
so everybody's going to try and get their little thing
on this bill
whatever it is on December 20th
whether it's another continuing resolution
or another omnibus
it's so
it's not even really a prediction that I'm making
I'm just telling you what has happened for 12 years
regardless of whether Democrats are in charge
or Republicans are in charge
there may be a little twist
we may do half of a CR
it'll be a whole CR
and half of it will end in February
and half of it will end in April
and they'll convince you they got something more clever
this year than they had last year
but it's going to be the same old thing
warmed over
written behind closed doors
rolled out here we're not going to have time
to read this thing
that's also predictable
and we're going to be told
vote for this and you can go home
and open presence with your kids
don't vote for it and you're going to be stuck here
and there will be people
it pulls at heart strings
we are humans
and that's why I think it's really
disingenuous
or despicable
really to pick
four days before Christmas Eve
to put this bill on the floor
the bill I'm talking about obviously
nobody here knows what it is
yet
and we're not going to have time to read it
but people are going to be inclined to vote for it
because they just want to be with their family
and it's getting extremely
hard to watch
and even harder to stomach
Merry Christmas