WEBVTT 01:32.210 --> 01:39.610 Hello and welcome to Beth of fresh air Beth here Beth Martins if we're just meeting for some reason and 01:40.410 --> 01:47.710 There's a chunky start to the show. Oh my goodness. I have to work on this you guys. Oh 01:47.710 --> 01:52.370 Well, and they I don't know if you were hearing it, but the music it was like it was doubled 01:52.370 --> 01:58.510 So that was weird. I'm gonna have to look into that. It didn't have quite so many beats in that song 01:58.510 --> 02:01.630 let's say that is a song from my 02:03.530 --> 02:10.430 Which one is that yes from my first album under the name Vijaya living knowledge and you can go and catch that on 02:10.430 --> 02:16.970 Spotify or iTunes and I have them for sale if you're not using those platforms, which I totally get and 02:18.610 --> 02:22.490 So welcome to the show. It is November 14 02:23.050 --> 02:29.130 2025 it's my birthday in a couple of days. So that's kind of I don't know this this year 02:29.130 --> 02:32.510 I'm deciding to do mostly nothing about it 02:33.370 --> 02:35.250 the reason being that 02:35.250 --> 02:38.130 It can be a little bit of a oh 02:38.130 --> 02:39.710 excuse to go and eat cake 02:39.710 --> 02:43.690 I know a couple years ago. Was it a couple or more years ago? Maybe three even I 02:44.650 --> 02:48.210 I'm like, okay, you know, I've been on a straight and narrow path 02:48.210 --> 02:52.250 with my diet and I've been like really good and 02:53.190 --> 02:55.710 And then I ate so much cake 02:56.370 --> 02:59.430 And then I nearly died death by cake 03:00.070 --> 03:02.390 anyway, we are live on 03:02.910 --> 03:08.050 Facebook those videos disappear from Facebook now, but regardless we're live there now 03:08.050 --> 03:10.750 We're live on YouTube and 03:11.330 --> 03:18.270 Thank You Michelle. I appreciate that very much and hello to you. I won't take a chance at 03:19.230 --> 03:23.770 Saying your name, but you could give us some phonetics and hi 03:23.770 --> 03:25.710 How are you if you're new to the channel? Definitely? 03:26.290 --> 03:32.970 Give it a sub welcome everyone. I'm glad you are here also live to X rumble and vigilante TV 03:32.970 --> 03:36.810 All of these get uploaded as podcasts after the fact 03:36.810 --> 03:41.590 So if you can't catch the whole thing and you want to go back then it's always there for you 03:42.550 --> 03:44.510 So welcome. I'm gonna be talking today 03:45.230 --> 03:45.710 about 03:46.430 --> 03:48.070 the on the theme of 03:48.070 --> 03:53.550 Remember we did have remember and stay here in Canada November 11 11 11 and 03:54.350 --> 03:54.950 we 03:55.510 --> 04:00.510 You know, it's one of those strange holidays that's always, you know, honestly 04:00.510 --> 04:05.170 I have to use a bad word to describe the effect of of our 04:05.870 --> 04:13.430 Statutory holidays on my on my consciousness. It's a little bit like time changes the same kind of effect that it's a 04:13.430 --> 04:17.410 And I'll swear very much in my in my podcast, but it is a mind fuck 04:18.070 --> 04:23.130 because why remember and stay is a sign of a very 04:23.130 --> 04:25.490 You know 04:26.330 --> 04:33.670 Gory awful situation in war we can easily romanticize war and say how 04:34.550 --> 04:38.530 You know, they were fighting for our freedom and 04:39.350 --> 04:40.690 Fighting for our freedom 04:41.290 --> 04:43.450 You know that this is it was a noble pursuit 04:43.450 --> 04:52.750 But when you really see the engineering behind it and how no war should have been created in the first place then it becomes a kind of 04:53.930 --> 04:57.770 Very weird thing and and of course you don't want to dismiss 04:58.590 --> 04:58.950 the 04:59.610 --> 05:06.430 brave heroic acts of individuals that really did believe they were fighting for something for a cause 05:07.350 --> 05:08.070 and 05:08.910 --> 05:09.630 then 05:10.490 --> 05:16.090 So, you know, I'm not I'm not diminishing that in any way, but to have us 05:16.690 --> 05:20.470 Be in this it's a to me. It's a form of trauma-based mind control 05:21.170 --> 05:27.830 And this leads very much into the theme for today. Why do we have that as an 05:28.250 --> 05:34.410 Instituted holiday that holiday whatever that means or you know, like nobody can work on that day 05:34.410 --> 05:40.870 Although that's out the window. We like many stores still open. I think on remember and stay or is it legal? 05:40.990 --> 05:42.670 I have no idea. I can't remember 05:43.930 --> 05:51.190 So, you know, it's one of those that it's really hard to land in and and then the repetition the year after year after year 05:51.190 --> 05:51.730 of 05:52.490 --> 05:55.130 Causing us to remember the violence that 05:55.730 --> 05:57.890 Our ancestors pass through 05:58.620 --> 06:02.870 And are still, you know, some people would say that we're actually fifth generation war 06:03.300 --> 06:08.650 That that those wars never never ended. They've just been morphing and changing as we 06:09.120 --> 06:12.770 As we go along. So why are we tasked to remember? 06:13.410 --> 06:18.090 War they will say that that surface meaning is that so we don't repeat history 06:18.090 --> 06:22.230 But here we see in reality. The history is 06:23.110 --> 06:24.890 Continuously being repeated 06:25.630 --> 06:30.710 So that's how trauma-based mind control works when you keep exposing people to 06:31.330 --> 06:32.990 The atrocities 06:33.850 --> 06:38.930 Of war then that continues. I always I always thought how when they set off fireworks 06:39.550 --> 06:43.250 At our canada day or any other, you know, victoria day, whatever 06:44.650 --> 06:48.950 holidays those things come up in and and how 06:48.950 --> 06:55.650 They're they're preparing us or they are keeping in our senses the sounds of war 06:55.650 --> 06:58.350 That's what it always sounds like to me that there's a war 06:58.350 --> 07:05.570 Zone over there going off and it's it's I mean, I imagine it sounds the same. I can't confirm that 07:06.530 --> 07:13.050 And yeah war continued with the lies of history and the poisoning of the food and the air exactly 07:13.050 --> 07:14.350 Yeah, it's a different kind of war 07:15.270 --> 07:18.370 I was recently visiting with my sister who 07:19.510 --> 07:23.990 I went out with a little bit for my birthday. She gave me a beautiful gift 07:25.190 --> 07:25.790 and 07:26.650 --> 07:28.330 I was able to 07:28.330 --> 07:30.610 Start saying things to her that 07:31.130 --> 07:36.970 I hadn't talked about before and and one of the things was that, you know, we're we're at war and I was watching her 07:37.470 --> 07:42.430 Take it in and and metabolize it and and she's she's one of these people 07:42.430 --> 07:48.950 You might recognize this in yourself who has an or not who has the ability to expand 07:49.530 --> 07:52.710 their awareness to include someone else's perspective 07:53.450 --> 08:01.850 And this is a very profound form of you could call it remembering if I just keep with the theme that we're on today 08:03.110 --> 08:06.570 That that's uh, you know, it's a kind of vicarious remembering 08:06.570 --> 08:13.630 So instead of just saying oh beth you sound like a lunatic and a conspiracy theorist and and all of that kind of thing 08:13.630 --> 08:19.670 She instead she expanded her awareness to include my reality not not that she took on that reality 08:19.670 --> 08:24.490 But but uh, you know and and she's talking about the enneagram and it's a nine space now 08:24.490 --> 08:29.170 I'm not versed in the enneagram. I I love archetypes. I created my own system 08:29.730 --> 08:33.430 Of typing. I'm gonna get her to do my quiz and see where it comes up 08:33.970 --> 08:39.630 But um, it's it's a gift, right? She's nearly the only one or the only one in my family 08:39.630 --> 08:45.550 Who could maintain a relationship with me? Everyone else went into such severe cognitive dissonance in our 08:45.550 --> 08:48.150 Inter perspectives couldn't include my perspective 08:49.190 --> 08:58.050 I could to to some degree include theirs. I understand right when someone yells at you and creates that trauma-based mind control 08:58.050 --> 09:00.110 Message that you're going to die 09:00.110 --> 09:05.550 Then the tendency is that they want to preserve life, right? And this is a 09:05.550 --> 09:10.590 A normal thing. This is a a natural thing. This is a beautiful thing a kind of an installation 09:10.590 --> 09:16.410 That we don't we don't consciously run towards death. We unconsciously run 09:16.410 --> 09:21.010 Towards death, but uh, so anyway, that was a kind of a beautiful thing 09:22.410 --> 09:27.610 And uh, I've been taken in the work of Joel Schaefer quite a bit lately 09:27.610 --> 09:31.330 I bet you've seen his name go around. He's been interviewed by everybody 09:32.010 --> 09:35.590 by alexac and by alpha vatic and by 09:36.170 --> 09:41.010 um, Steve falconer it was by the time I got to the one with c falconer that I started to 09:41.530 --> 09:45.530 really lean in and um, so I'm going to talk a little bit about 09:46.430 --> 09:49.050 shamanic traditions. This was something that 09:49.690 --> 09:55.890 um, Joel has reminded me about something that you know, it's often the case where 09:57.230 --> 10:03.270 For me that you know going through life in a certain sort of way of seeing in a philosophy and 10:03.270 --> 10:06.970 a way of being in a an idea about what the truth is 10:06.970 --> 10:11.570 And then you come across new information new knowledge a new pathway 10:11.570 --> 10:15.610 Or something causes you to get off the old pathway 10:16.190 --> 10:19.570 And you go and you go forward the tendency is to think that you left 10:20.090 --> 10:23.330 That behind that it's not being remembered 10:23.950 --> 10:26.390 For your present state of consciousness 10:27.290 --> 10:33.570 And it's almost never the case. So personally I am uh, fascinated watching how 10:34.230 --> 10:37.690 Life threads together. It's not a straight line. It is 10:37.690 --> 10:42.450 Uh, you know, people talk about the the toroid. I I talk about a spiral 10:43.050 --> 10:46.170 That could be the same thing. I don't know. I haven't taken the time to really 10:46.170 --> 10:50.210 Try to marry those paradigms, but it's it's not linear 10:50.690 --> 10:53.490 Right, you know, we often know what it's not 10:54.010 --> 10:56.070 In and not what it is 10:57.290 --> 10:59.250 definitively to be able to make claims 11:00.350 --> 11:06.570 But um, yeah, the shamanic traditions were fascinating. I in in my university days. I studied anthropology 11:06.570 --> 11:09.930 I did a directed studies in my honors degree 11:10.750 --> 11:13.610 And uh and got the gold medal in in anthropology 11:14.030 --> 11:16.930 Not specifically for this work, but it was part of it 11:17.430 --> 11:22.490 In the transformation of consciousness through shamanic initiation in particular 11:23.610 --> 11:25.330 And shamanic initiation 11:26.390 --> 11:27.670 Is a violence 11:28.630 --> 11:31.770 That you know, if I'm coming now now providing my 11:32.830 --> 11:38.070 Editorialized version of what I see there that it often involved sending a 11:38.070 --> 11:41.750 Like say, you know, the classic example is sending the young boy 11:42.330 --> 11:44.010 Away from the care of the mother 11:44.650 --> 11:46.850 Throwing them into the forest 11:47.770 --> 11:50.810 And to see overnight to see if they would survive 11:51.730 --> 11:56.590 And this was the test of this transition from boyhood into manhood 11:57.310 --> 11:58.310 the the 11:58.310 --> 12:01.550 Depending less on the care and nurturance 12:01.910 --> 12:08.870 Of the feminine and getting hurled into the world of the masculine of survival of 12:09.510 --> 12:12.490 resourcefulness of that warrior spirit 12:12.910 --> 12:16.950 That will do whatever it takes to 12:16.950 --> 12:21.650 You know overcome and have a uh 12:21.650 --> 12:22.490 Um 12:23.710 --> 12:30.390 Ability to not just be that mama's boy now not personally. I think it works the other way around 12:30.390 --> 12:31.230 I only have 12:31.810 --> 12:37.690 One experience to draw and I only had one child. So I can't I can't say again making huge claims and uh, hello 12:37.690 --> 12:43.290 Maya by the way, nice to see you and uh, yeah, good to see everybody here Michelle exactly 12:44.010 --> 12:44.530 so 12:45.310 --> 12:46.590 in the um 12:48.810 --> 12:51.390 In my experience, I'll just start with that 12:51.650 --> 12:56.450 I had as a young mum. I had the instinct to do everything possible 12:56.970 --> 12:59.090 To meet the needs of my son 12:59.750 --> 13:04.070 That I wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I couldn't you know being 13:04.610 --> 13:11.190 In the situation that I was uh, a single parent that it's actually impossible to meet every single need 13:11.190 --> 13:14.810 But I I tried hard. I I took it on like a marathon 13:15.590 --> 13:20.690 And I gave my all and in two years I broke my back. It wasn't permanent 13:20.690 --> 13:23.090 it came back online, but 13:23.850 --> 13:27.490 There was this I just had this thing that if I 13:28.150 --> 13:30.010 gave everything to 13:30.590 --> 13:33.390 This child that that would be a gift 13:33.390 --> 13:35.590 I just instinctually knew that 13:36.090 --> 13:41.750 And I was around adults that would tell me oh put that baby down 13:42.210 --> 13:44.250 You're turning them into a dependent 13:44.770 --> 13:49.050 You're making them soft and that's they're going to be a mama's boy 13:49.050 --> 13:56.190 And you know, you're ruining them by always holding them always coddling them always nursing 13:56.930 --> 13:57.250 them 13:57.910 --> 14:01.190 I remember when my son I taught my son the word nurse 14:01.730 --> 14:07.090 This was maybe not as good an idea because uh, he picked up on that word pretty good 14:07.090 --> 14:12.590 And so he could ask me uh to nurse and and uh, and then he would do it 14:12.590 --> 14:16.810 Sometimes in public or it would be oh like this isn't the exact right moment 14:16.810 --> 14:19.990 And for sure we're coming and then he'd go like mama nurse 14:20.630 --> 14:23.670 Like okay. Okay. Yeah coming. We're coming. You could be like nurse 14:24.370 --> 14:28.150 Like they're saying it really loud. It was so cute total aside there 14:28.730 --> 14:32.990 This is uh, just some memories indulging myself in and hello ducks. Why? 14:33.710 --> 14:35.390 Nice to see you. Welcome here 14:36.370 --> 14:43.770 So the effect the overall net result now nearly 19 years after my uh, I spent those 14:45.270 --> 14:49.850 Years really like just showing up for him and I'm still I'm still that kind of mama 14:49.850 --> 14:53.730 I was still show up for my son and if he needs something 14:53.730 --> 14:59.030 I'm going to do my best to provide that and be there for him now 14:59.030 --> 15:03.990 What has been the net result is that he's grown incredibly independent 15:05.590 --> 15:06.710 massively independent 15:07.270 --> 15:12.510 And that started really early on that that because he had a couple of 15:12.510 --> 15:19.570 Solid years and the early years he was he his his needs were attended to when he cried 15:20.130 --> 15:26.250 I responded, you know, and that's unlike the the um early childhood 15:27.210 --> 15:28.310 style of 15:28.710 --> 15:36.330 Did you know disattachment parenting where they slept in their own room from infancy even though the parents 15:36.710 --> 15:42.930 Would be together in their own bedroom and then somehow this infant had to find their own way 15:43.450 --> 15:49.930 You know, like I'm going to swear again. Fuck off with that that that that is a cruelty. That is a kind of 15:50.710 --> 15:55.830 Trauma that's being enacted in in the very earliest years where it matters the most 15:55.830 --> 16:01.310 Where it leaves the deepest impressions the deepest memories 16:01.930 --> 16:02.730 that that 16:02.730 --> 16:08.490 You know, the memories won't be verbal and and part of language because it's pre-verbal 16:08.490 --> 16:15.250 That makes them even more powerful when they have no words for the experiences of being abandoned 16:16.170 --> 16:18.930 You know, there can be a betrayal in in that 16:19.650 --> 16:25.010 Abandonment and betrayal being two sides of the same coin in the child's archetype 16:25.890 --> 16:28.010 That they don't 16:28.790 --> 16:30.850 Matter they don't even exist 16:31.470 --> 16:33.730 That they're, you know, not lovable 16:34.470 --> 16:38.170 That they have to somehow achieve love 16:38.770 --> 16:40.130 to in order to 16:40.130 --> 16:44.210 Garner the attention that they need and therefore the survival 16:44.650 --> 16:47.150 They learn that survival is scarce 16:47.150 --> 16:52.210 And it's something that you have to always work for and you have to always be on top of 16:52.210 --> 16:55.450 Trying to you know force the people to 16:55.850 --> 16:58.070 Take care of you and notice you 16:58.070 --> 17:02.850 Right that the child can't reason that oh, I've been left in this 17:03.650 --> 17:07.390 Space alone and they will come back the child doesn't know that 17:07.810 --> 17:09.050 The child doesn't have 17:09.450 --> 17:14.270 The faculties the development and and the fully developed brain to remember. Oh, yeah 17:14.270 --> 17:17.510 You know, mum always comes in the morning or whatever 17:18.030 --> 17:20.310 Kind of thing that they won't they won't actually 17:20.950 --> 17:25.050 Die, but they feel like they're going to die and that's when most of the programming 17:25.050 --> 17:28.150 Gets installed in our consciousness 17:28.150 --> 17:32.850 It's not the end of it by any stretch of the imagination, but I think the toughest most intense 17:33.410 --> 17:40.270 Kind of programming never mind birth, you know the birth traumas. That's that's a whole other level of exactly the same thing 17:41.530 --> 17:48.490 And so this net result of having a very independent son has been amazing for me to witness 17:50.330 --> 17:51.010 And 17:51.810 --> 18:01.190 Personally, I think that having met met his needs to a great extent left him with that memory that his needs could get met 18:01.910 --> 18:05.130 Right if we have a memory that our needs can't get met 18:05.130 --> 18:09.150 Then we perpetuate that we move that into the future 18:09.150 --> 18:16.170 We manifest circumstances that are going to continue to show up in that pattern of scarcity 18:16.970 --> 18:24.010 Compared to the pattern of like, oh, hey, you know, I I exist. I matter. I'm important 18:24.450 --> 18:26.590 These all sound like the high sides of 18:27.030 --> 18:30.910 Programs by the way, but you know like that and and that and that's not even the conclusion 18:30.910 --> 18:33.230 I think that's that would be a bad 18:34.370 --> 18:39.290 Claim on my part that it just moves you up into the high side of the programming. That's not the case 18:40.150 --> 18:43.750 I know that's a little esoteric off the deep end if you haven't done my work 18:43.750 --> 18:50.630 You might not make sense of that at this point, but but it's having having your needs met actually makes you more secure 18:51.110 --> 18:52.910 It makes you more independent 18:53.510 --> 18:54.730 It makes you 18:55.330 --> 18:59.370 Want to take care of yourself. That's what I noticed with my son that he 18:59.930 --> 19:05.430 Because I always said, you know, I will I will take care of you and I will tell you what to do until I see you 19:05.430 --> 19:08.830 Taking care of yourself and telling yourself what to do 19:09.390 --> 19:13.090 And I don't even think I ever ever said that out loud to him 19:13.090 --> 19:16.330 But it was a kind of unwritten code between us 19:16.330 --> 19:22.010 And so he's systematically picking up on all of his needs now including financially 19:22.010 --> 19:28.950 He has a full-time job and he's being extremely responsible to it, right? I haven't had to 19:29.590 --> 19:36.610 Call him in the morning and wake him up or help him get there or he's taking care of all of his own meals 19:36.610 --> 19:40.510 I could easily be showing up with all the lunches and stuff like that 19:40.910 --> 19:42.750 But he's just taking care of himself 19:43.830 --> 19:47.890 And I have seen children raised in the other style 19:48.610 --> 19:53.850 And this is not for the sake of judging and calling out and making people feel bad and guilty and wrong 19:53.850 --> 19:59.890 That's never ever going to inspire anybody to grow but nonetheless as an experiment watching 20:00.450 --> 20:06.190 Kids that were you know made to be independent kids that were sent to the corner to 20:06.190 --> 20:11.510 You know out we talked about that in the episode on belong how they were pushed out of the tribe 20:12.370 --> 20:18.310 Temporarily that the parents know but the the little one doesn't know that they don't have the memory 20:18.310 --> 20:21.630 They don't have that ability. They have nothing to go on like we do 20:22.370 --> 20:28.470 And um and then the net result there was a great deal of insecurity and a lot of 20:29.150 --> 20:34.290 Say bedwetting right my my son literally never once went the bed ever 20:35.190 --> 20:35.670 and 20:36.470 --> 20:38.470 I'm not taking credit for this this 20:39.130 --> 20:45.250 He's his own soul and god knows if he was raised differently. Maybe he would have turned out the same anyway 20:45.250 --> 20:47.330 I don't really have any way to say that 20:47.330 --> 20:51.850 But I can see you know that massive insecurity that when the needs aren't met 20:51.850 --> 20:57.570 And the programming gets installed to such a great extent then they spend the whole life grasping 20:57.570 --> 21:03.390 at love at survival at you know basic control over their life 21:03.990 --> 21:06.790 Which is the the roots of of our programming 21:08.030 --> 21:09.170 and so 21:11.510 --> 21:14.430 I was talking about the shamanic traditions 21:14.430 --> 21:21.590 I probably won't be able to thread this together super. Maybe I just wanted to brag about how independent my son is 21:22.130 --> 21:25.890 um and his and then and then meeting his needs and 21:26.530 --> 21:29.030 Anyway, so while I'm going to jump back into the shamanic traditions 21:29.030 --> 21:36.550 I was inspired by joel watching watching this you know full circle because I did start off in my spiritual pursuits 21:36.550 --> 21:39.930 Trying to marry the academic and the spiritual together 21:40.570 --> 21:45.110 in in this you know university setting trying to study these shamanic traditions 21:45.790 --> 21:46.350 and 21:46.350 --> 21:51.650 The initiation so this is this is how I came about it that the initiation from 21:51.650 --> 21:57.210 The classic one from the boy to the man where they they have some form of trauma 21:58.430 --> 22:06.710 Enacted on on the boy child and don't even get me started about circumcision. I don't want to I don't want to go there that that's like kind of a 22:07.550 --> 22:14.370 Anyway, we won't go there because it's just so sick when I think about it. I can't I can't uh, I can't stomach it 22:14.890 --> 22:16.630 but but that you know creates 22:17.430 --> 22:20.530 what we would have described to be the 22:22.250 --> 22:26.090 graduation into manhood that this was like a gain of some kind 22:26.630 --> 22:34.250 But but in reality my guess is that it is a you know, it's a cut and it is a 22:34.930 --> 22:36.990 um, maybe something that has left 22:37.890 --> 22:39.410 our men 22:40.130 --> 22:41.050 in that 22:41.930 --> 22:48.510 More compromised kind of a state and a and a and a numb state and a desensitized state and having 22:48.510 --> 22:55.770 Been forced to go through so much pain of of loss long before they could cope with it or had any 22:55.770 --> 22:57.310 ability to reason 22:58.030 --> 23:01.110 and um, and so I had some 23:01.850 --> 23:08.330 Academic experiences around shamanism, you know, like just learning about it and and all of this and it was fascinating and 23:08.330 --> 23:14.850 And then I went to in after I graduated university. I went to Nepal and I was living there 23:15.330 --> 23:19.770 And there is a strong shamanic tradition in in Nepalese shamans 23:20.550 --> 23:23.750 So I found a shaman to study with 23:24.270 --> 23:30.230 for about five minutes and uh, so, you know, we had a couple of sessions and I learned some 23:31.170 --> 23:34.670 Mantras to repeat and meditate on 23:35.210 --> 23:39.930 And then I started having crazy nightmares like it just set off all kinds of 23:39.930 --> 23:46.110 Weird stuff in my system and I you know, it was already overseas and it was a little bit 23:46.650 --> 23:50.910 Uh, I was off in in the wild for the first time ever in this 23:51.550 --> 23:55.150 In this strange country living with families not as a tourist 23:55.150 --> 24:00.770 But like getting the full immersion kind of an experience and I thought you know what no, let's let's just not go there 24:01.230 --> 24:04.790 so I I cut that pretty short and 24:05.370 --> 24:09.070 And and left it behind because in that very same trip 24:09.070 --> 24:12.550 I was I was uh to end up in India 24:12.970 --> 24:21.710 Where it was, you know, not the shamanic tradition. That was more the Vedic tradition of meditation and yoga and asceticism 24:22.350 --> 24:25.090 and mantra and philosophy 24:26.070 --> 24:30.990 And and all of the more inward turning kind of esoteric arts 24:31.430 --> 24:35.770 Not the messiness of the shamanic tradition. So this appealed to me more 24:36.310 --> 24:38.330 than than this other 24:39.890 --> 24:42.810 Kind of way of of approaching spirituality 24:43.210 --> 24:48.950 One of the key things that I came across in in studying the shamanic tradition was around 24:49.590 --> 24:52.930 And this is why it came up in this episode of remembering 24:53.390 --> 24:55.090 Is dismemberment 24:56.490 --> 25:03.070 And so the basic premise being that any disease or any state of 25:03.950 --> 25:05.610 unrest or suffering 25:06.030 --> 25:08.190 in the body heart or mind 25:08.190 --> 25:11.050 Was is a result of this 25:11.630 --> 25:12.450 dismembering 25:13.050 --> 25:14.670 and and so 25:15.310 --> 25:16.270 then the 25:17.070 --> 25:19.110 shamanic healing added up to 25:19.670 --> 25:20.110 the 25:20.110 --> 25:21.050 um 25:22.050 --> 25:26.570 You know in some cases it works both ways that the dismemberment would be 25:26.570 --> 25:35.310 The tool or the technique used to you know to dismantle and take apart the being again back to shamanic initiation 25:36.110 --> 25:38.190 You would die inside 25:38.770 --> 25:41.590 You would like who am I am I going to live? 25:42.430 --> 25:47.530 Uh, does anybody care about me? How am I going to make my way? 25:47.770 --> 25:51.330 How am I going to live through this night and it causes this internal 25:52.130 --> 25:58.210 dismemberment and coming apart of in that case in that example I was using the the boy child 25:58.970 --> 26:02.070 And and so it fractures consciousness 26:02.830 --> 26:09.230 It it it goes in you could say many directions that might be just metaphorical as a way to describe it 26:09.630 --> 26:14.130 but this dismemberment is what led to the 26:14.850 --> 26:23.110 Ability say say the in particular shamanic initiation being initiated into and as a shaman 26:23.450 --> 26:29.470 Then this dismemberment would be the the foundation for that 26:30.750 --> 26:36.610 And so there is you know one philosophy that says that from death comes life 26:37.170 --> 26:40.070 And so it's through the dismemberment through coming apart 26:40.550 --> 26:44.610 And and you know not knowing who you are and being all discombobulated 26:45.590 --> 26:51.590 and uh having no sense clear sense of reality or sure sureness in yourself 26:52.170 --> 26:54.830 Then this dismembering creates the 26:55.770 --> 27:00.990 template for something completely new to come together to remember 27:01.750 --> 27:09.150 Potentially in a conscious way rather than an unconscious way that might have created the state of disease or and suffering 27:10.190 --> 27:13.490 So dismemberment is a very common thing you can go back and see 27:14.790 --> 27:17.670 images of people that were 27:18.390 --> 27:20.430 You know losing their limbs 27:21.030 --> 27:21.630 and 27:22.310 --> 27:25.350 You know these images depicted this dismemberment 27:26.150 --> 27:26.510 and 27:27.070 --> 27:33.190 You know one thing also from the therapeutic world when I was studying with gabbar mate in a in a workshop 27:33.810 --> 27:36.250 He was talking about the way that people 27:36.810 --> 27:42.950 When they're going through therapy that have been through really severe traumas severe losses, you know intense 27:44.010 --> 27:45.890 experiences then they are 27:47.190 --> 27:50.730 And and if they are instructed to draw a picture of themselves 27:50.730 --> 27:52.050 They often draw it 27:52.050 --> 27:59.010 Where their hands or and their feet are not connected to their body giving more evidence 27:59.530 --> 28:03.770 in that pictorial way of this this state of dismemberment 28:04.180 --> 28:07.810 That it's just the first step right like that 28:07.810 --> 28:11.550 That that's just the first step and then our society doesn't have a way to 28:11.550 --> 28:12.550 help them 28:13.570 --> 28:18.750 Remember because in my experience therapy really doesn't do that at all 28:20.150 --> 28:20.770 So 28:21.320 --> 28:23.630 Yeah, the shamanic traditions are very interesting 28:23.630 --> 28:29.710 So joll has reignited joll schaefer shout out to him has reignited my interest in shamanism because 28:30.310 --> 28:33.730 He has come to a lot of the same truths that I have 28:33.730 --> 28:39.750 From a completely different perspective one that I had I even thought I had rejected 28:40.510 --> 28:43.550 And and here he is coming to the same 28:43.550 --> 28:48.970 Conclusion so I'm super excited. It won't be until December 11. I believe that I'm hosting him 28:48.970 --> 28:54.470 I'm also going to be on his channel in December as well on the 15th. So that'll be a fun 28:54.470 --> 28:59.050 Very fun exchange. I'm really looking forward to that. I really like seeing through his eyes 29:00.190 --> 29:00.870 um 29:01.630 --> 29:02.310 so 29:03.390 --> 29:06.590 Let's see where we want to go with this so 29:07.290 --> 29:09.610 Just another aspect of 29:10.290 --> 29:11.290 of memory 29:12.870 --> 29:14.590 Maybe I will jump to 29:15.470 --> 29:20.610 The work of george carrey if you guys are familiar with the zodiac and the salts of salvation book 29:20.610 --> 29:23.050 That is a very profound work 29:23.590 --> 29:24.810 that I have 29:24.810 --> 29:25.110 uh 29:25.930 --> 29:29.410 read and spent a little time with the thing that always 29:30.010 --> 29:33.870 Impresses me about that and what has that has to do with our memories 29:34.650 --> 29:38.050 And uh, yes, joll has had some great interviews lately. Absolutely 29:39.170 --> 29:40.710 He's on a roll like crazy 29:41.350 --> 29:47.010 and so george carrey in this book writes about the brain and the different parts of the brain that 29:47.970 --> 29:52.210 coincide or or relate to different signs on the zodiac 29:52.910 --> 29:58.430 And and then so just this little tidbit and I always hold on to this and if you've studied with me 29:58.430 --> 30:00.090 You've probably heard me talk about it 30:00.090 --> 30:03.590 But that the brain is is named after 30:04.090 --> 30:08.770 The root seri like cerebellum cerebrum or those two parts of the brain anyway 30:09.490 --> 30:11.970 And the word seri means seed 30:12.450 --> 30:13.990 And the meaning of seed 30:14.490 --> 30:16.090 Is wax like substance? 30:17.190 --> 30:21.730 And so wax you might notice that if you take a hot knife 30:22.210 --> 30:27.150 And you press it into wax it makes an impression the shape of the knife 30:27.770 --> 30:33.530 And so it that's that's that just gave me that opened up this huge window of 30:33.530 --> 30:36.690 Of revelation into the nature of the brain 30:37.150 --> 30:41.310 And the nature of our memories which I find fascinating 30:41.990 --> 30:44.310 Right to to just notice how 30:44.910 --> 30:47.350 When somebody says something to me 30:47.890 --> 30:50.930 There can be times where I'm not paying enough attention 30:51.430 --> 30:53.270 To have heard all of their words 30:53.870 --> 30:57.810 But nonetheless their words made an impression in my 30:57.810 --> 31:00.530 Seed and wax like substance brain 31:01.230 --> 31:05.090 And I can still access it. I can go back to the record 31:05.730 --> 31:10.970 And and god knows whether the record how accurate the record is because it's obviously going through filters 31:11.550 --> 31:15.810 But it will still be there now just for a little bit of time 31:15.810 --> 31:19.170 I play this game with codes every time an app tells me to 31:19.710 --> 31:24.470 Get a code so that I can enter my own app even though I just used the password 31:25.150 --> 31:30.570 And and then I'll I'll glance at the number enough to make an impression in my 31:31.250 --> 31:36.290 In my brain and and then I'll go back and I'll I'll do the number and it'll still be there 31:36.290 --> 31:39.570 It'll it'll be there for like, you know seconds not not 31:39.570 --> 31:44.810 Usually even a minute if I if I didn't write that number down for a minute 31:44.810 --> 31:49.330 Then I wouldn't be able to remember it, but it's there in the meantime 31:50.770 --> 31:54.390 So some of our memories end up 31:55.050 --> 32:00.650 Really enduring and and which member which memories end up enduring. Can you guys guess? 32:01.330 --> 32:03.990 Which ones we remember the the best? 32:04.490 --> 32:06.290 Or the most intensely 32:07.030 --> 32:09.750 Is it the good memories or the bad memories? 32:10.530 --> 32:15.890 It doesn't mean we don't remember the good, but if you're guessing it's the bad memories. Yes 32:15.890 --> 32:18.750 Those are the ones that are more easily remembered 32:18.750 --> 32:22.270 So I was going to get you guys to just even play along with me 32:22.270 --> 32:26.070 And you know think about your first five years of life 32:26.070 --> 32:28.530 Some people don't have a lot of memory from that time 32:28.530 --> 32:33.410 But some people do yet exactly Michelle the bad memories really stick out exactly 32:34.190 --> 32:38.550 And if you consider the first five of your life years of your life, what are the 32:38.550 --> 32:41.390 Yep, you got it. Maya. What are the 32:42.130 --> 32:47.170 Memories that stick out for you? Are there a handful of memories? Were they good ones? 32:47.670 --> 32:53.050 So I will I will go first and and how it made you feel exactly. Maya. That's 32:53.050 --> 32:57.010 That's it. That's the that's this you could say 32:57.830 --> 32:58.830 that is 33:00.370 --> 33:00.870 Now 33:01.410 --> 33:08.070 Is it part of the memory or is it an add-on to the memory? Is it a link to the memory the way that 33:09.070 --> 33:09.710 emotions 33:10.490 --> 33:12.010 I'm going to talk about this kind of 33:12.010 --> 33:14.450 I call it sausage link 33:15.030 --> 33:15.350 to 33:15.870 --> 33:16.810 the memory 33:17.510 --> 33:24.450 And and one memory often begets another memory and they link up and they have this, you know at the level of your 33:24.850 --> 33:29.010 emotions a lot of content in these sausage links 33:29.710 --> 33:31.590 For lack of a better metaphor 33:32.370 --> 33:34.130 And so yeah, these bad memories 33:34.750 --> 33:36.190 really stick out for us 33:36.790 --> 33:37.210 and 33:37.760 --> 33:39.330 What I've noticed is that 33:40.610 --> 33:41.070 These 33:42.170 --> 33:42.630 traumas 33:43.130 --> 33:44.990 you know when I think about the 33:46.030 --> 33:49.230 One of my earliest childhood memories. I might have been 33:49.690 --> 33:55.530 I don't know. I might have been two or something like that and our family used to go to a place called opapas cow 33:55.530 --> 33:59.490 Oh, there's another memory. I just said they're going to start flooding in for you and for me 33:59.490 --> 34:03.390 So yeah considering for yourself. What what comes to the surface? 34:03.910 --> 34:08.890 Is there a top three or five memories from those earliest days of yours? 34:09.910 --> 34:11.810 And so yeah, we used to camp at a 34:11.810 --> 34:14.650 At a place called opapas cow. I believe it's in 34:14.650 --> 34:17.090 Alberta or something like that 34:17.090 --> 34:22.250 Should look it up and and go there and my first memory maybe at the age of two 34:22.250 --> 34:25.910 We were on the beach and all of a sudden my mom 34:26.510 --> 34:32.030 grabs me picks me up and starts running for the lake and I'm like going 34:32.570 --> 34:36.470 What is going on here? This is like, you know, what's happening to me? 34:36.570 --> 34:37.290 I'm just being 34:37.850 --> 34:43.750 Against my will and being picked up and and running and then I get dunked in the cold water 34:43.750 --> 34:48.830 Well, it turned out I had you know made a mess in my pants and then so my mom treated it like an emergency 34:48.830 --> 34:51.790 I wouldn't want it. I wouldn't want to be the rest of the people on the beach 34:51.790 --> 34:54.510 because she ran for the lake to 34:55.010 --> 35:00.350 Give me a wash but uh and I was so mad at her on the way back out of the water 35:00.350 --> 35:09.050 She she had to firemen carry me, you know over the shoulder kind of thing and I was pounding and kicking and beating at her 35:09.050 --> 35:16.670 and I was so angry about what she had done to me and that just really stayed in my consciousness, you know, and 35:17.390 --> 35:24.050 Did it stay in my consciousness because of that really heightened emotion that injury to my to my 35:24.770 --> 35:28.530 pride to to my free will and 35:30.350 --> 35:35.270 You know, so it was that was such a big deal and this is this is one of the things that I always try to do also with 35:35.270 --> 35:41.870 The little ones is to never diminish their experience because that that was always the way they did it to us that 35:41.870 --> 35:44.670 Like oh, what are you crying about or worse? 35:44.830 --> 35:48.770 I will give you something to cry about because from their adult 35:49.550 --> 35:55.170 Rational perspective with a fully developed brain. They knew nothing really wrong was happening to me 35:55.170 --> 35:58.590 They weren't abusing me. They weren't trying to kill me. They're actually trying to help me 35:59.170 --> 35:59.610 and 36:00.370 --> 36:01.950 But there was no 36:02.710 --> 36:04.230 Empathy of any kind 36:04.790 --> 36:11.330 For this what that experience just created in in my system. I was I was taught to like, you know, shut up 36:11.850 --> 36:12.650 and and 36:13.530 --> 36:16.630 Suck it up and that, you know, there's nothing wrong 36:17.210 --> 36:22.410 Kind of thing. Um, yeah, some really positive memories with your father at four to six Mike is saying 36:23.330 --> 36:23.850 Uh 36:24.930 --> 36:31.670 Exploring and collecting rocks that you would organize and name later. That's nice. So you have a nice memory. That's awesome. I'm sure I have those two 36:32.570 --> 36:33.090 and 36:33.090 --> 36:34.810 Yeah, that's beautiful 36:36.450 --> 36:43.850 Michelle you said having to use an outhouse with no indoor bathroom when you were too terrifying exactly exactly. Yeah, hilarious in 36:44.170 --> 36:44.430 retrospect 36:45.130 --> 36:50.350 That's funny, but from that two-year-old place terror is real, right? 36:51.050 --> 36:52.730 My sister had a 36:53.570 --> 36:54.530 fear of 36:55.430 --> 36:56.690 I believe it was 36:58.230 --> 36:59.190 snakes and 36:59.870 --> 37:03.190 She was six years younger than me. So I have a really good memory of this 37:03.190 --> 37:03.910 that 37:04.490 --> 37:09.450 I believe it was an earthworm managed to make its way into the house because my parents were avid gardeners 37:09.450 --> 37:10.070 So was my grandma 37:10.670 --> 37:12.290 And so this earthworm 37:12.850 --> 37:17.110 Darn it. What did they do? They flushed it down the toilet. Why? I don't know 37:17.110 --> 37:21.410 She's just throw the critter outside, but they flushed it down the toilet. Maybe it was dead or something 37:22.010 --> 37:28.850 And then from that moment on my younger sister decided she was not ever going to use that toilet 37:28.850 --> 37:35.150 Again, it was over for her if there's snakes in that toilet. She ain't putting her butt there kind of thing 37:35.830 --> 37:38.850 and yeah, so yeah, that that stuff is real it's it's 37:39.610 --> 37:44.110 I really encourage people to have empathy and not laugh at children at their 37:44.110 --> 37:46.390 At their terrors at their 37:47.610 --> 37:54.110 Misunderstandings that they're you know thinking that a a worm is a snake kind of thing to to have empathy for that 37:54.110 --> 38:01.190 And just trying to try to remember what was it like when you couldn't reason when you couldn't make logic out of any 38:01.770 --> 38:02.290 situation 38:03.430 --> 38:05.210 Gives you a lot more compassion for 38:05.710 --> 38:11.990 For those little guys. So yeah, that was one of the things I went out of my way to do with my son was never to 38:11.990 --> 38:18.810 Chat like if he got hurt, it would be okay. You're hurt to have empathy to go. Yeah, okay. Oh Liam's suffering 38:19.890 --> 38:21.170 Darn, you know 38:21.810 --> 38:28.630 Rather than go, you're okay. You're okay. Stop crying. You're okay. Here. Let me kiss it away. Let me hug it away. Let me 38:30.470 --> 38:31.490 Spank him no 38:35.010 --> 38:37.110 But that's that's more or less how 38:37.690 --> 38:39.390 people were raised on the whole 38:39.830 --> 38:44.910 And what's the net result? You can see is is looking around 38:45.430 --> 38:51.870 So that's interesting elliott. Thanks for chiming in that pain is necessary for growth. It is actually true 38:51.870 --> 38:54.050 I I I totally agree with that 38:54.050 --> 38:55.210 but is there 38:55.790 --> 38:56.390 is there 38:56.990 --> 38:59.010 Pain that can be avoided 38:59.930 --> 39:02.730 And and is there pain that can't be avoided? 39:03.310 --> 39:05.970 Is there necessary pain? 39:06.530 --> 39:08.410 That is just a matter of growth 39:08.930 --> 39:13.850 That is just a matter of expansion, right when we when we dismember to a certain 39:13.850 --> 39:20.550 Kind of reality in order to step into a new reality. It's painful. That's not fun. That's not a good time 39:21.070 --> 39:24.810 But it is necessary in order to to get to that next place 39:25.550 --> 39:25.830 but 39:26.410 --> 39:28.250 to actively create 39:28.930 --> 39:31.010 painful situations for children 39:31.550 --> 39:39.090 As somehow aiding their growth to me. That's where it's really off and it's not necessary by any 39:39.650 --> 39:40.730 stretch of the imagination 39:42.190 --> 39:45.970 Yeah, it can seem it can seem like that because that's how we're all raised 39:46.670 --> 39:51.630 Right. So yeah, I always look at the difference between the pain of injury and the pain of growth 39:52.170 --> 39:55.010 Those are both pains and both intense 39:55.770 --> 39:57.430 but the pain of injury 39:58.010 --> 40:02.330 Is not necessary if that injury could have been avoided 40:02.930 --> 40:08.350 The pain of growth, you don't want to avoid that. That's our whole purpose to be here is to learn and to grow 40:09.150 --> 40:09.670 and 40:10.310 --> 40:13.590 Yeah, so pain is you could say Elliott James 40:13.590 --> 40:17.170 You could say that pain is it is it is an ingredient 40:17.850 --> 40:20.170 We have it. We live in a death cult 40:20.170 --> 40:24.390 We're you know born and raised into death cults 40:24.950 --> 40:27.370 That are are full of unnecessary pain 40:27.970 --> 40:33.210 But I have a suspicion that we would find other reasons to grow personally 40:33.790 --> 40:39.770 Yeah, it's the same. Hi, honey D. Nice to see you. It's the same no pain or no gain kind of a situation 40:40.450 --> 40:46.130 And yeah that insidious stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about and what's the net result of that? 40:46.670 --> 40:49.190 What does the child do with that information? 40:50.370 --> 40:51.510 You guys know 40:52.750 --> 40:55.150 Right, do they do they grow? 40:56.210 --> 40:56.730 Or 40:57.390 --> 41:00.290 Is that a point of becoming stuck? 41:02.110 --> 41:06.330 To me, that's a point of getting stuck. I know you guys can't answer fast enough on the chat 41:08.050 --> 41:09.090 But uh 41:10.210 --> 41:17.530 Right Michelle, you got it right that that is exactly the net result of of saying shut up 41:17.530 --> 41:19.050 Or I'll give you something to cry about 41:19.690 --> 41:23.410 Is that what do they do is they suppress their pain? 41:23.770 --> 41:26.210 That's when you get the lump in your throat 41:26.690 --> 41:29.450 Emotion wants to come to express 41:30.010 --> 41:37.250 The pain which is a very healthy part the expression of the pain allowing yourself to cry to you know 41:37.870 --> 41:38.230 to 41:38.890 --> 41:40.750 express to to 41:41.410 --> 41:42.850 Begin to discharge 41:43.330 --> 41:45.790 The emotional energy so if you're not allowed to 41:45.790 --> 41:48.690 Discharge you've been injured and you're not allowed to 41:49.630 --> 41:50.010 Express 41:50.780 --> 41:56.470 And discharge that emotional energy then you stuff it you you push it down 41:57.060 --> 42:03.570 Into your body your heart your mind it becomes part of the memory of that experience 42:04.370 --> 42:06.390 Children who are more or less 42:06.780 --> 42:12.670 In my limited experience who are allowed to really fully go through their experiences 42:13.350 --> 42:15.030 They're allowed to 42:15.550 --> 42:17.130 express and 42:17.630 --> 42:26.490 It what from my from what I saw is that they really flow through they can flow through their experiences with much less 42:26.490 --> 42:27.410 residue 42:28.050 --> 42:29.730 much much less energetic 42:30.750 --> 42:37.310 Hangover from those kind of experiences and you can see it a toddler will bump up against 42:37.890 --> 42:45.030 Something doesn't get what they want and they're they you know go into a rage or they cry and they 42:45.030 --> 42:49.870 When nobody answers their cries they get mad and and go up the scale 42:50.830 --> 42:54.270 But yeah that that uh that whole thing if it's not allowed 42:54.270 --> 42:58.430 It's just what michelle's saying it leads to dissociation and numbing out 42:58.910 --> 43:03.870 Right and so that's back to that schoenetic initiation of the boy into the man 43:03.870 --> 43:10.350 I think that's happened to a great extent where men are much less able to access their 43:10.350 --> 43:11.850 inner experience 43:12.630 --> 43:17.710 And that makes it harder for them to heal from the past injuries 43:19.110 --> 43:24.210 So yeah that uh necessary pain it's just that pain is and and we are 43:24.210 --> 43:26.930 Inner alchemists that's part of our nature 43:27.510 --> 43:30.930 That we're patterned with and so we do have the capacity 43:31.430 --> 43:35.290 To turn every pain into some kind of awakening that's 43:35.810 --> 43:45.250 Entirely the work that I do helping people to deprogram is to take the the charge of of the memory and to alchemize it 43:45.810 --> 43:46.150 into 43:47.090 --> 43:52.250 Really and that's a miss no more into something as if led into gold, but it's not really like that 43:52.250 --> 43:57.850 It's it's just taking that stuck energy that gets frozen in time 43:58.410 --> 44:03.330 Through the trauma through the suppression especially of the expression of that trauma 44:04.050 --> 44:06.510 and that's what creates that 44:07.530 --> 44:11.830 From it could be a lifelong pattern from then on 44:12.490 --> 44:13.990 and uh and so 44:14.550 --> 44:17.370 Yeah pain is going to happen, but we don't need to create 44:18.010 --> 44:19.030 anybody's pain 44:19.630 --> 44:25.990 That that seems to come with life right it's life is fully installed with all kinds of opportunities for pain 44:25.990 --> 44:33.950 and uh, you know, I I never needed to add any extra to to my son's life in order to 44:34.690 --> 44:38.870 Get him to where he is right now anyway. Hello, saint lady. Nice to see you 44:38.870 --> 44:42.450 No worries about being late the beginning of the stream is always there 44:43.650 --> 44:45.450 And but i'm glad you made it 44:45.990 --> 44:51.170 That's awesome. So yeah the the charge of the memory is fascinating because 44:51.890 --> 44:59.990 What I notice is that when when you go and discharge a memory the memory does not disappear 45:01.570 --> 45:04.050 The impression is still there 45:04.050 --> 45:08.550 Which is fascinating and you know, sometimes I'll be 45:09.730 --> 45:15.950 Say especially going to sleep and doing some release work and having some memories kind of swim in my head 45:15.950 --> 45:23.650 Could be from the day could be from you know, many years ago. It's it's it's very it's very 45:24.270 --> 45:30.130 interesting how memories come forward into consciousness and and how does that actually 45:30.750 --> 45:34.810 Occur sometimes there's no stimulus of any kind other times 45:34.810 --> 45:39.570 It's like oh this happened my sister said this and and then I remembered that 45:40.250 --> 45:47.050 So, you know can be that more linear association, but it can they can also just come out of nowhere in a way that 45:48.910 --> 45:53.670 You know might be sir actually serving us as the as the memories come up 45:54.170 --> 45:56.650 This is interesting just to remind myself of so 45:57.730 --> 45:58.290 the 45:58.950 --> 46:02.670 one of my trainers in the release work would say that your 46:03.350 --> 46:07.410 Your imagination and your thoughts are always serving you 46:08.130 --> 46:14.370 What's next on the menu that's going to lead to the deprogramming work and 46:14.370 --> 46:16.710 And and and result in freedom 46:17.290 --> 46:21.190 So sometimes people have memories that they can't suppress 46:21.730 --> 46:24.610 Maybe they could suppress them for a long time 46:25.010 --> 46:27.230 But they can't anymore they're coming forward 46:27.710 --> 46:33.070 For example, I have worked with people who have been through sra satanic ritual abuse 46:34.070 --> 46:40.130 And from what I understand the vast majority of the people that end up going through that experience. It's so intensely 46:43.010 --> 46:49.170 Traumatic that they actually have to split. They have to completely dissociate 46:49.170 --> 46:52.490 From the memory. They have to put the memory off 46:53.150 --> 46:54.170 into some 46:54.910 --> 46:56.370 Dark place in the consciousness 46:57.150 --> 47:02.470 Where there's no light on it. There's no, you know, it's just not there. It's as if it didn't happen 47:03.070 --> 47:03.590 to them 47:04.190 --> 47:04.850 but it did 47:05.730 --> 47:07.910 And the impression is still there 47:08.390 --> 47:13.390 So they might spend, you know, a decade and two decades and even three decades 47:14.310 --> 47:17.250 Making sure that that memory isn't known 47:17.250 --> 47:19.710 But there might come a point in their 47:19.710 --> 47:24.070 Spiritual evolution if you want to call it that they're moved towards freedom 47:24.530 --> 47:29.270 Where those memories start flooding back and that's exactly what I've noticed 47:29.270 --> 47:33.710 The one particular one person I worked with in particular who went through 47:34.130 --> 47:43.890 The most intense horrendous experiences. I will never repeat for privacy reasons, but also not to re traumatize or not to traumatize anybody or not to even 47:44.670 --> 47:48.650 Traumatize myself again because it is vicariously traumatizing 47:49.770 --> 47:53.910 You know that those memories they couldn't push down anymore 47:54.630 --> 48:00.050 And the reason for that in my estimate is because it takes such enormous amounts of energy 48:00.670 --> 48:01.490 To suppress 48:02.250 --> 48:05.570 You don't know you're doing it, but you're actively doing it 48:05.570 --> 48:07.510 using your life force 48:08.190 --> 48:10.430 That is meant for you know life 48:11.290 --> 48:11.590 to 48:12.470 --> 48:15.470 Push and and suppress and hold down 48:15.990 --> 48:19.950 And then it takes a lot of energy. It takes a lot of might that energy 48:19.950 --> 48:27.970 Otherwise might be something that you could use to heal and grow and learn and connect and all of the good things in life 48:28.990 --> 48:33.810 But they you know, they need it to push down on the on the consciousness 48:35.330 --> 48:39.430 So when you can't do that anymore you get exhausted or your body gets sick 48:39.990 --> 48:41.390 Or you don't have defenses 48:42.170 --> 48:46.590 In in the way that you maybe normally would have if circumstances aren't 48:46.590 --> 48:50.890 Just business is usual in your life. Then those memories can flood back 48:50.890 --> 48:55.310 They just don't they don't go away and they come with all of the charge 48:55.310 --> 49:00.710 they come with all of the feelings the emotions and 49:01.230 --> 49:04.810 Ultimately the programs that root those feelings in place 49:05.310 --> 49:10.050 And it's pretty tragic because the amount of work that it takes to heal from 49:10.490 --> 49:15.930 Those experience is really off the charts. I I bow down to anybody that even 49:17.230 --> 49:17.630 even 49:19.390 --> 49:25.070 Embarks upon that and I'm missing a few things in the chat here. Hello, nivad 75. Nice to see you 49:25.070 --> 49:27.130 All right, you're a real Beth of fresh air 49:27.710 --> 49:29.670 So fun for me when people play this 49:30.210 --> 49:34.210 Podcast title back to me now. It's really fun saying ladies said the videos are great 49:34.210 --> 49:36.610 You're enjoying them. Glad you caught glad to catch it live 49:36.610 --> 49:39.970 I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you're catching the remembers 49:40.690 --> 49:41.490 the remembers 49:42.190 --> 49:44.990 Sorry reading the other message the recordings 49:45.630 --> 49:49.090 And nivad said remember to stay calm and take deep breaths 49:50.170 --> 49:53.330 There you go. We can play with that for a long time 49:53.330 --> 49:54.450 Play on words 49:54.450 --> 49:58.330 NED said lines main give you some crazy old memories out of the blue 49:58.330 --> 50:02.910 You know, it was starting to work interesting. Yeah lines mean I'm not I'm not super familiar with that 50:03.350 --> 50:05.510 Is it a little bit like motherwort that 50:06.050 --> 50:09.310 Causes you to dream have have weird dreams 50:09.310 --> 50:14.330 I learned that it it motherwort causes that because it's an irritant 50:14.330 --> 50:20.930 That it's like, you know, it's stirring it up in your in your system might be the same with lines main 50:23.050 --> 50:27.890 And uh, yeah life can life can stir up your your ship pretty good 50:28.650 --> 50:34.150 There's no end to you know, you look out you look in you have a conversation 50:34.930 --> 50:36.310 Do anything in life? 50:36.930 --> 50:38.190 Try for something 50:39.030 --> 50:42.610 You're inevitably going to stir that shit up 50:43.630 --> 50:46.950 And uh, and it needs to be stirred up 50:46.950 --> 50:50.510 It needs to come to the surface the memories need to come in a way 50:50.990 --> 50:57.770 But there's also the wisdom of that you don't need to pick through all your garbage before you throw it out 50:58.530 --> 50:59.990 There's a certain wisdom in that 50:59.990 --> 51:02.450 Yvonne said they're nervous system and neural networks 51:03.270 --> 51:07.950 Quarantine until it can be released exactly. It's uh, it's so intense 51:08.190 --> 51:14.170 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Quarantine is a good a good word for that like literally quartering off 51:14.870 --> 51:15.950 Yeah, excellent 51:17.350 --> 51:22.970 And you believe my lines may help see regrow or reconnect brain nerves and pathways, right? 51:23.510 --> 51:25.130 I have become systematically 51:25.870 --> 51:29.090 suspicious of every single herb, but I haven't looked into 51:29.810 --> 51:34.930 That one at all and not not every one is a uh a bad and wrong one 51:37.710 --> 51:38.150 I 51:38.150 --> 51:42.670 Just don't take it for granted now that because it's an herb or because it's found a nature that it's good for you 51:43.930 --> 51:49.870 Uh quick aside. I was hosting mark archer in the house of free will for a part two snippet on kanan able today 51:49.870 --> 51:51.990 So we're talking about life and death 51:53.050 --> 51:53.930 and how 51:54.710 --> 51:58.910 So he's reading the bible from such a different perspective. It's it's it's really interesting 51:59.930 --> 52:00.370 and 52:01.110 --> 52:02.050 um, you know 52:02.050 --> 52:06.090 His take is that the bible was actually written by lucifer 52:07.310 --> 52:12.310 We're taught is the other way around like god wrote the bible, right? So that's total blasphemy to a lot of people 52:12.950 --> 52:18.530 and and so we're getting to see this world through lucifer's eyes who's who's 52:19.070 --> 52:23.190 Whose creation is the reflection of the of death 52:23.690 --> 52:27.830 That every single thing on on earth dies 52:28.370 --> 52:33.710 Goes through this, you know, life cycle is born lives for time passes out of existence 52:34.330 --> 52:41.070 But that the spirit never dies that the whole, you know, whether whether it's it's the divine or it's lucifer 52:41.570 --> 52:44.990 They're both eternal because they're from an eternal source 52:45.590 --> 52:52.190 The divine being the source or something like that god god only knows. Oh, it's a mushroom nevat. Okay interesting. Yeah mushrooms 52:53.470 --> 52:54.590 fascinating and 52:54.590 --> 53:00.710 And so the uh, let's see. Where was I headed with that with the cane and able and 53:01.750 --> 53:02.950 Oh darn it's gonna 53:04.270 --> 53:06.870 That slipped out of my mind. What were we talking about? 53:07.890 --> 53:09.150 Going back to 53:09.710 --> 53:11.950 I'm gonna have to open those notes with 53:12.690 --> 53:15.370 Canaan April it in it ends up sending me in a real 53:16.430 --> 53:16.870 um 53:17.370 --> 53:23.290 I don't know just in circles. It's it gets it gets teleological when you really start to get down to the heart and 53:23.290 --> 53:24.610 and soul of it 53:28.710 --> 53:32.070 So, yeah, I'd just be repeating a bunch of stuff, but 53:36.490 --> 53:43.430 Yeah, the illusion of death and the violation of free will and life and death 53:44.310 --> 53:45.810 Michelle, thank you 53:47.050 --> 53:50.650 And yeah born into this into this death cult 53:50.650 --> 53:53.110 And it was about 53:54.050 --> 53:55.510 the animals so 53:56.090 --> 53:56.450 so 53:57.010 --> 54:03.410 It was the plants that were created first here we go. I found it and the bible written by lucifer. Thank you guys. I appreciate it 54:04.010 --> 54:04.410 um 54:05.050 --> 54:09.870 That the plants were created first and so this is a little tongue-in-cheek 54:09.870 --> 54:13.170 But possible that we are here for the plants 54:13.170 --> 54:17.470 Not the other way around people think that these plants were all created for us and 54:17.860 --> 54:23.570 You know that pomegranate really wants me to eat it. Even if this it's the snake telling me to do it 54:24.110 --> 54:29.890 And uh, you know, is are we just doing the bidding of of the plants that were the first? 54:30.470 --> 54:32.630 You know the first creation here 54:34.110 --> 54:38.330 Um, also very interesting. This is total aside. I'm really off topic now, but 54:38.860 --> 54:39.530 but that 54:39.530 --> 54:42.390 Cain was the agrarian 54:42.390 --> 54:47.270 You know growing the land in a more kind of horticulture agriculture 54:47.950 --> 54:51.290 kind of style and abel was the 54:54.150 --> 54:57.670 Animal husbandry guy and raised animals 54:58.350 --> 55:02.710 and maybe that was included with hunting and and more 55:02.710 --> 55:08.130 What we call primitive kind of societies that the hunters and the gatherers 55:08.670 --> 55:09.110 and 55:09.110 --> 55:13.130 Um, so the bible says to eat plants well if lucifer 55:13.950 --> 55:19.350 Wrote the bible then that kind of makes sense because most of the plants are poisonous 55:20.930 --> 55:23.330 And the the healthier 55:24.150 --> 55:24.870 um 55:25.410 --> 55:26.650 People tend to 55:27.170 --> 55:34.790 Now this is purely my experience and my study and my my own practical experiment of uh the last years 55:34.790 --> 55:37.650 But the more that I focus on 55:38.110 --> 55:43.770 Uh animal protein muscle meat in particular with some plant material not a not a huge amount 55:43.770 --> 55:44.730 But some 55:45.290 --> 55:47.250 For the sake of soluble fiber 55:47.250 --> 55:51.470 Then i'm the healthiest that I have ever been this is a very favorable 55:51.970 --> 55:55.990 Kind of liver detoxifying lifestyle and diet 55:56.530 --> 55:58.150 Where the the pure 55:59.030 --> 56:00.610 Um vegetarians 56:01.070 --> 56:04.470 tend to end up with a lot of problems in their liver 56:04.470 --> 56:08.690 And I know the vegetarians are going to get up in arms and they're going to freak out and not not like that 56:08.690 --> 56:14.090 But it's true and you know what happens to you emotionally and energetically when your liver 56:14.650 --> 56:20.090 gets overloaded is that you get upset you get angry you get 56:20.090 --> 56:23.770 Um murderous right let's that's what that's what kane 56:24.550 --> 56:29.350 Got and and he killed abel he might have eaten abel 56:29.350 --> 56:31.870 This like that kane and the abel and the cannibal 56:32.390 --> 56:38.730 Because there was only the blood crying out from the earth that the flesh was not even there in the picture in the scene 56:38.730 --> 56:41.190 At least as lucifer wrote about it 56:41.750 --> 56:46.930 So anyway, that's where I went with all of that stuff. It didn't uh, it didn't go over that well with 56:47.590 --> 56:51.990 with mark, but um, that's me just trying to make sense of it and and uh 56:53.450 --> 56:57.410 Prove possibly why our food is more 56:58.090 --> 57:01.590 Poison than it is nutrients when it comes to the 57:02.950 --> 57:07.190 Um plant world and the herb world and everything like that 57:07.190 --> 57:11.150 So I know it's very unpopular. I've made myself stupidly unpopular because of all of that 57:12.570 --> 57:14.990 And uh, yeah the bible written by lucifer 57:15.570 --> 57:17.650 if that that's fascinating that that's 57:18.330 --> 57:22.910 A kind of brand new idea for me and it changes the picture 57:22.910 --> 57:27.470 I really had to pull away from trying to make sense of it because it was causing me 57:28.010 --> 57:34.310 Uh, just undo confusion and suffering and it wasn't nothing really good was going on there 57:36.190 --> 57:38.810 But uh, but yeah, so that the memories 57:40.010 --> 57:40.570 and 57:40.570 --> 57:44.390 Are for example our ability to hold a grudge is 57:44.990 --> 57:45.850 Like wow 57:46.510 --> 57:52.030 Intense, you know that you can have something bad happen to you a long time ago 57:52.670 --> 57:53.930 and you still 57:54.610 --> 57:57.510 Disliked that person you still hate that person you still 57:58.190 --> 58:03.630 um feel like they did you wrong and there maybe needs to be some kind of uh 58:04.230 --> 58:08.850 Uh compensatory action for that and that might might be true actually 58:09.530 --> 58:13.370 So that's not to put down the person that would necessarily hold that grudge 58:13.370 --> 58:19.930 But the old adage is that who is that hurting you're taking poison and expecting someone else to die 58:19.930 --> 58:27.270 Right, so if every day of your life you're mad at your mom for uh picking you up and and uh washing your butt in the lake 58:28.490 --> 58:34.410 Then who is that hurting it's not hers. He's not even here anymore. That's not that's not going to be any uh 58:35.030 --> 58:38.130 Payback to her not that I ever necessarily want to do that 58:38.730 --> 58:44.450 But uh, you know if I hold on to that anger that continues to be poisoned in my system 58:44.950 --> 58:45.750 and so 58:46.630 --> 58:47.070 our 58:48.250 --> 58:51.530 Memories get as if served to us on a platter 58:52.110 --> 58:55.550 And we don't know when they're going to come and you don't necessarily 58:56.110 --> 59:01.990 Even need to know why they came because that's where a lot of people get stuck like why would I be thinking about this now? 59:02.050 --> 59:05.670 Why would I be remembering this now? Why would that come up for me now? 59:05.910 --> 59:09.690 It doesn't really matter the fact is that it came up 59:09.690 --> 59:15.790 And in the coming up, that's when it could be dealt with it could be 59:16.370 --> 59:16.690 met 59:17.310 --> 59:20.390 That's from the work of uh gangaji who I don't totally 59:20.990 --> 59:25.110 Necessarily follow because she's all japped up and recommended the jobs and everything. It doesn't look good 59:25.110 --> 59:27.110 But but I love her 59:28.270 --> 59:29.790 Instruction to meet 59:30.370 --> 59:36.870 The experience to meet the memory to meet the feelings that are surrounding the memory and then 59:36.870 --> 59:43.110 A level deeper is to meet the programs that hold all of that charge in place 59:43.730 --> 59:47.970 And and you can treat it that your consciousness is serving you 59:47.970 --> 59:51.630 Not torturing you not giving you things to feel 59:52.230 --> 59:56.810 Bad about only but so that you could heal so that you could be free 59:57.630 --> 01:00:00.010 So yeah, that was the the point of all of that 01:00:00.830 --> 01:00:02.030 and uh 01:00:02.850 --> 01:00:04.650 Yeah, when we release uh 01:00:05.270 --> 01:00:09.750 Charged memory it turns into just a memory you can still go back 01:00:10.170 --> 01:00:15.330 And remember what was the most painful thing to you the the thing that would 01:00:15.830 --> 01:00:17.990 Not not only injured you from the past 01:00:17.990 --> 01:00:22.450 But continues to injure you over and over and over and over again 01:00:22.450 --> 01:00:27.230 As if it continues to injure you but really it's our unconscious choice 01:00:27.670 --> 01:00:32.110 We are injuring ourselves or consenting to this re injury 01:00:32.790 --> 01:00:37.970 And then when it's completely discharged and all of the programs are gone 01:00:38.820 --> 01:00:40.250 You're still going to have the memory 01:00:40.900 --> 01:00:45.970 But it's not going to be a source of losing energy and and pain 01:00:47.750 --> 01:00:54.670 Which is fascinating. I mean what you know, what's up with that the the ability to remember is of course 01:00:54.670 --> 01:01:01.940 I think a very big part of our evolution. It's not exclusive to human beings that we have memory although we can't 01:01:03.010 --> 01:01:05.970 Tell the extent of it with animals 01:01:06.530 --> 01:01:11.770 I remember bringing one of my cats that came from a litter where the parents were still 01:01:11.770 --> 01:01:14.130 Or the mum was still in the neighborhood 01:01:14.750 --> 01:01:21.070 And so we brought our little kitties for a sleepover when we were going away. Well, the mum did not remember 01:01:21.910 --> 01:01:22.710 the kittens 01:01:23.850 --> 01:01:27.290 Or it was that she didn't want to see them 01:01:27.970 --> 01:01:32.330 She didn't have any like love and affection for them. She didn't suffer when they were gone 01:01:32.890 --> 01:01:37.370 Kind of thing it was so funny because you think like oh my baby's back and 01:01:37.370 --> 01:01:42.450 Oh, I love you and where have you been lick lick lick and it was just like, who are you? 01:01:42.770 --> 01:01:47.750 Get you know get away brat or you're are you gonna eat my food or something like that? 01:01:48.130 --> 01:01:52.250 And she just had no no, uh affection for her babies 01:01:53.570 --> 01:01:56.670 So what's what's that like a totally different kind of 01:01:56.670 --> 01:02:00.510 Uh thing human human would be hard-pressed 01:02:00.510 --> 01:02:04.090 They would have to suppress the crap out of their instincts in order to not 01:02:04.790 --> 01:02:09.310 Welcome and uh and and want to be with that baby 01:02:10.310 --> 01:02:10.830 but 01:02:12.410 --> 01:02:17.050 Yeah, it's a it's a totally different kind of a function going on with our 01:02:17.770 --> 01:02:21.370 With our memories and uh and and animals 01:02:21.370 --> 01:02:26.550 So they do they do remember like if you if you abuse an animal they remember that how sad is that right? 01:02:26.670 --> 01:02:29.510 they they they can end up being very 01:02:30.390 --> 01:02:30.850 much 01:02:32.310 --> 01:02:33.230 estranged and 01:02:34.950 --> 01:02:36.810 Unsocial and hard to 01:02:37.450 --> 01:02:40.870 Interact with and you know being loving and kind to an animal 01:02:40.870 --> 01:02:45.610 If they have such a strong memory of having abused then they're not going to be able to receive that 01:02:45.610 --> 01:02:50.330 It's really tragic and I don't know that they can necessarily heal from it. Although maybe they can 01:02:50.330 --> 01:02:55.190 I did have my mum's cat god knows what she went through to become so crazy 01:02:55.190 --> 01:02:59.530 It's probably just the genetic engineering of of her line because she was a 01:02:59.530 --> 01:03:02.530 A persian sigmes like a really beautiful amazing 01:03:03.470 --> 01:03:06.990 Looking animal. She was barely there. It was all for just like this 01:03:07.530 --> 01:03:13.050 And when I first got her you know her nature had been and I knew I knew her because she was my mum's cat 01:03:13.800 --> 01:03:20.750 Was all just like oh scary humans don't come near me. Don't I'm definitely never going to sit on your lap 01:03:20.750 --> 01:03:26.550 And you know, I might I might acquiesce to let you touch me a little bit here and there 01:03:26.550 --> 01:03:29.330 But like oh you're you're a danger and the thing 01:03:29.870 --> 01:03:34.190 And over the course of the months I I started somewhat forcing her like okay 01:03:34.190 --> 01:03:38.070 Pick her up put her on my lap and and when she wanted to go she would go 01:03:38.070 --> 01:03:42.010 But there there came a time where she actually wanted to sit on my lap 01:03:42.010 --> 01:03:46.890 So there was some some kind of healing took place in in that part of her nature 01:03:46.890 --> 01:03:48.390 I think animals can come along 01:03:48.950 --> 01:03:54.910 But the fact remains I think humans have the greatest capacity for healing of any species of of any kind 01:03:56.130 --> 01:04:02.510 And that's why you don't imbue animals with human qualities. They they are not human. There's something distinctly different 01:04:03.090 --> 01:04:06.370 Exactly if you can't tell the difference between a cow and a human then 01:04:06.970 --> 01:04:10.150 You know then we won't have this conversation at all 01:04:11.830 --> 01:04:12.350 Yeah 01:04:14.470 --> 01:04:21.610 Some vegetarians use that as an argument to not eat meat that if you can't tell the difference because oh well animal or you know plants die when we eat them too 01:04:22.190 --> 01:04:26.870 And uh, then someone would say if you can't tell the difference between a cow and a cauliflower then 01:04:27.550 --> 01:04:29.290 We don't have anything to talk about 01:04:29.870 --> 01:04:32.510 But uh, that's a whole other conversation 01:04:34.050 --> 01:04:38.590 So yeah interesting also how say in institutionally 01:04:39.670 --> 01:04:42.190 Memorization has become the cornerstone 01:04:42.350 --> 01:04:43.170 of education 01:04:43.850 --> 01:04:45.290 I recently had somebody that 01:04:45.950 --> 01:04:51.050 Wants to sign up for one of my courses and they said oh, yeah, I have to I have to wait until my 01:04:51.050 --> 01:04:56.170 Memory gets better and that's like I mean I totally respect everybody's timing. There's no criticism whatsoever 01:04:56.970 --> 01:05:02.170 but um, but that this is the conditioning that we have a um 01:05:02.170 --> 01:05:09.670 That learning equals memorization and that we you know read words in a book and we and we 01:05:10.250 --> 01:05:15.850 Add that to our memory. Sometimes you have to force that stuff in in your memory 01:05:16.490 --> 01:05:18.730 There might be subjects you've noticed 01:05:19.670 --> 01:05:22.910 And you can let me know in the chat if there's subjects that 01:05:23.430 --> 01:05:25.710 you learned or you like 01:05:26.370 --> 01:05:33.430 Uh, get exposed to you read about you hear about you whatever and that information just goes in 01:05:34.250 --> 01:05:35.750 And it's just there 01:05:36.490 --> 01:05:42.910 Right, that's how personally I've been with the work in archetypes and the the inner consciousness 01:05:43.650 --> 01:05:51.370 All of this kind of stuff to me. I can learn something one time and it goes right inside my consciousness 01:05:52.730 --> 01:05:56.050 It just does like I don't I don't have to read it again 01:05:56.050 --> 01:05:59.090 I don't have to sit and think like what was that and remember that 01:05:59.670 --> 01:06:03.810 There's there's certain stuff that I can just hear once and blam. It's mine 01:06:04.570 --> 01:06:08.450 And then there can be other subjects for example the law 01:06:10.110 --> 01:06:15.250 I it doesn't honestly I can read something law and finances same kind of subject for me 01:06:15.250 --> 01:06:18.650 I can read something several times I could hear someone say it 01:06:18.650 --> 01:06:25.730 Many times I could take the same class like three times in a row. I mean I'm I'm about to embark on on that 01:06:25.730 --> 01:06:26.930 with brennan sterling 01:06:28.510 --> 01:06:33.570 And I can just barely grasp like just barely pull out a word 01:06:33.570 --> 01:06:38.490 I know I could give it more time and energy and I could give it more effort and like treat it like my full time 01:06:38.490 --> 01:06:42.710 Work every day and I could do that. I know I do have the ability 01:06:43.310 --> 01:06:45.630 To memorize and take in information 01:06:45.630 --> 01:06:49.330 But if it's what is it a matter of interest or purpose 01:06:49.970 --> 01:06:53.170 That we don't have certain inclinations and therefore the 01:06:53.170 --> 01:06:58.150 The porosity is funny how that word keeps coming to my mind these days that we're not porous 01:06:58.150 --> 01:07:00.070 to that information so 01:07:00.710 --> 01:07:03.150 somebody the other day I I just totally uh 01:07:04.330 --> 01:07:08.670 Said something like they said oh the constitution is the law and if any law 01:07:10.090 --> 01:07:13.530 Supercedes the constitution then it's it's not right 01:07:14.050 --> 01:07:18.770 And and then and then I had this memory that oh, but the law the you know law has to be enacted 01:07:18.770 --> 01:07:23.170 But I was thinking it's something else. I did pick up one fact, but I mangled it 01:07:23.770 --> 01:07:28.650 And I was totally wrong like and they were right the constitution is actually law 01:07:29.170 --> 01:07:33.730 And any law that comes after it cannot supersede it even though that happens anyway, right? 01:07:34.770 --> 01:07:40.210 But uh, yeah, yeah all the jingles the way that we've used music to embed 01:07:40.790 --> 01:07:47.150 That uh, I have a friend who wrote a song on all of the I believe it was the bones of the body 01:07:47.150 --> 01:07:50.150 Like every single bone in the body she had a song that encapsulated 01:07:50.850 --> 01:07:54.310 Nearly every part of the anatomy. I can't remember if it was bones or whatever 01:07:54.310 --> 01:07:57.690 And it was kind of miraculous because she had the whole thing down 01:07:58.350 --> 01:08:01.750 And it becomes much easier when you attach it to music 01:08:02.530 --> 01:08:06.690 And what's that where the memory is much more? 01:08:07.390 --> 01:08:07.630 um 01:08:07.630 --> 01:08:12.570 accessible when it's got some rhythm and a melody and 01:08:12.570 --> 01:08:19.350 Maybe a flow to tie it all together. So yeah, that's that's a pretty fun way to go 01:08:20.090 --> 01:08:24.850 And uh, and then yeah, so the focus on memorization as learning 01:08:26.310 --> 01:08:31.390 Has turned us all into like what has that has that worked for us? Has it made us 01:08:31.930 --> 01:08:33.990 wise and knowledgeable and 01:08:33.990 --> 01:08:37.590 able to not repeat mistakes from the past 01:08:38.270 --> 01:08:38.530 Um 01:08:39.410 --> 01:08:42.490 Right has has it done that is it made us so great 01:08:42.490 --> 01:08:49.890 Has it made the average person that comes out of the school system? Whether that's grade 12 or university or 01:08:50.670 --> 01:08:52.730 You know masters and phd programs 01:08:53.550 --> 01:08:59.690 As that has that made for a bunch of wise people even though they have a lot of facts 01:09:00.490 --> 01:09:03.530 Or they may not even have those facts think about it 01:09:03.530 --> 01:09:07.190 I got the gold medal in my degree in university. It's a big nope 01:09:07.590 --> 01:09:14.250 Exactly. I got the the gold medal. So I'm bragging. I you know, I was at the top of my class in in anthropology 01:09:15.670 --> 01:09:19.830 And uh, I might have enough words 01:09:20.450 --> 01:09:23.830 to to uh, take up the space of like say say 01:09:24.530 --> 01:09:25.450 One hand 01:09:26.170 --> 01:09:31.250 From that degree that whole entire degree in the field of anthropology 01:09:31.250 --> 01:09:36.730 There's one word that sticks out australiopithecus. Um, why did I retain that word? I don't know 01:09:36.730 --> 01:09:41.410 Why is it even so top of mind for me if I started naming the 01:09:41.820 --> 01:09:49.310 You know, so-called evolution of humanity which complicates things greatly because why are you going to remember things that are 01:09:49.310 --> 01:09:51.950 Probably not even true that it's 01:09:52.720 --> 01:09:53.010 manufactured 01:09:55.110 --> 01:09:58.730 History although this is in history because it wasn't the written word. That's like pre-history 01:10:00.350 --> 01:10:05.770 Uh paleontology kind of kind of stuff and uh, you know, they so like I've got the gold medal 01:10:05.770 --> 01:10:12.190 But I don't remember anything nothing. Why right? Why because that knowledge is not actually 01:10:12.970 --> 01:10:13.770 uh of use 01:10:14.610 --> 01:10:21.610 There were some things in my degree that I went forward and and used and they have come full circle like the whole shamanic 01:10:21.610 --> 01:10:24.250 Initiation that I'm thinking about more these days 01:10:24.250 --> 01:10:28.970 And it's kind of threading into my work a little bit, but um 01:10:30.210 --> 01:10:35.070 So, yeah, we we don't we don't really learn through memorization just through 01:10:35.070 --> 01:10:40.370 Creating new grooves in our memory. And why do some memories persist? 01:10:41.090 --> 01:10:43.350 And why do some memories fade? 01:10:43.690 --> 01:10:48.510 Why is that? Why would I remember australiopithecus? Why would I remember that? 01:10:48.510 --> 01:10:50.770 What's what's the point of it that it's just so 01:10:51.310 --> 01:10:55.870 top of mind and uh, so these are the questions and I don't necessarily have answers 01:10:57.190 --> 01:10:58.550 Utilitarianism is a fun one. Yeah 01:10:59.850 --> 01:11:01.890 Yeah, words are fun. They have certain 01:11:02.930 --> 01:11:06.210 Uh rhythms and they are fun to play with 01:11:13.270 --> 01:11:16.010 So very good. What else do I have here? Yeah 01:11:16.810 --> 01:11:21.770 Then then I was going to talk a little bit about the repetition of mantra, which is kind of like 01:11:22.590 --> 01:11:23.950 memory on steroids 01:11:24.740 --> 01:11:26.550 Where you just repeat 01:11:27.240 --> 01:11:28.490 you take a 01:11:28.490 --> 01:11:30.910 little phrase or a verse 01:11:31.630 --> 01:11:32.710 and you 01:11:33.380 --> 01:11:38.470 Say it or you sing it over and over and over and over and over and over 01:11:38.470 --> 01:11:40.270 And over and over and over and over and over 01:11:40.800 --> 01:11:45.050 And you do it again the next day and you do the same thing over and over and over 01:11:45.860 --> 01:11:48.130 And it can be a very deep study 01:11:48.910 --> 01:11:55.410 I say, you know choosing your phrase carefully, of course, you don't want the the mantras that have a negative 01:11:56.210 --> 01:11:58.810 meaning and vibration to them 01:12:00.330 --> 01:12:05.210 But I found personally I abandoned mantra as a practice 01:12:05.810 --> 01:12:12.490 Because having done mantra for the better part of 10 years and going to india and picking up all the sunscreen verses and everything like that 01:12:12.970 --> 01:12:16.770 The practice led me ultimately. I always look at this. What's the net result? 01:12:16.770 --> 01:12:19.190 What what was created in the end? 01:12:19.410 --> 01:12:22.350 Was I was sick with a stage four lymphoma? 01:12:22.630 --> 01:12:25.490 Well, all my mantra didn't spare me 01:12:25.970 --> 01:12:27.550 from getting so 01:12:27.550 --> 01:12:30.090 incredibly out of alignment in my life 01:12:30.090 --> 01:12:33.170 and getting so sick and needing to 01:12:33.170 --> 01:12:33.890 to 01:12:34.730 --> 01:12:37.010 move to emergency measures for three years 01:12:38.050 --> 01:12:39.830 So the repetition became 01:12:40.650 --> 01:12:43.850 Something that worked against me. I had a roommate when I was 01:12:44.870 --> 01:12:45.730 back in 01:12:46.710 --> 01:12:50.090 my post corporate. I think it was when I was I was 01:12:51.630 --> 01:12:52.750 maybe post 01:12:54.010 --> 01:12:57.290 post treatments and and surviving that second 01:12:57.970 --> 01:12:58.270 round 01:12:58.830 --> 01:13:05.790 And so I had a roommate I was living with she was very into mantra. She was part of a cult. It was the japanese version of 01:13:07.130 --> 01:13:09.410 What do they call it? 01:13:14.590 --> 01:13:15.710 Psycho goners 01:13:15.710 --> 01:13:22.310 Having observed my roommate and so she would sit and repeat these mantras over and over and over 01:13:23.670 --> 01:13:24.190 and 01:13:24.190 --> 01:13:26.430 And then she got sick and died 01:13:27.030 --> 01:13:32.450 Like really sick and and her people in the cult would say that oh 01:13:32.990 --> 01:13:38.030 Don't see a doctor, which I mean I might have said the same thing if she was asking my advice 01:13:38.030 --> 01:13:41.310 Which she didn't but they would just say like just do your mantra 01:13:41.310 --> 01:13:46.230 Just do your practice. Do your practice. Do your practice. It will take care of everything 01:13:46.730 --> 01:13:51.270 And then she died. I was like, hmm that advice didn't work very well 01:13:51.270 --> 01:13:54.710 So what happens to you when you're in that? 01:13:55.910 --> 01:13:59.950 Robotic repetition of a mantra what happens to you? 01:14:00.030 --> 01:14:06.370 What what what takes place that she could get so sick and die and not intervene? 01:14:06.630 --> 01:14:08.230 it's amazing nobody came along and 01:14:08.910 --> 01:14:09.810 sued the cult 01:14:10.410 --> 01:14:15.110 Like her father or her brother or something like that. It was a really tragic death or who knows 01:14:15.110 --> 01:14:20.950 I mean that that might have been her time no matter what but this is this is what I saw that that mantra was 01:14:21.610 --> 01:14:22.610 making her numb 01:14:24.750 --> 01:14:30.170 And you can see the that's exactly what what people who've been 01:14:30.170 --> 01:14:33.230 Engimicated end up just like 01:14:33.770 --> 01:14:36.810 Like robots and automatons on repeat 01:14:37.350 --> 01:14:39.110 Saying the thing the same thing 01:14:39.450 --> 01:14:45.590 With the inability to take in any new information or be porous to any new information 01:14:45.590 --> 01:14:50.430 Like I was talking about my sister who is miraculously able to do that on my behalf 01:14:51.250 --> 01:14:54.210 And so you have the repetition of the mantra just creates this 01:14:55.010 --> 01:14:57.950 Kind of numbness in you for example 01:14:57.950 --> 01:15:00.410 You can use a very you know 01:15:00.410 --> 01:15:02.790 Any kind of a thing give yourself 01:15:02.790 --> 01:15:07.530 A stimulation of some kind like right just run a pen on your hand 01:15:07.530 --> 01:15:12.170 And keep doing that back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth 01:15:12.170 --> 01:15:16.850 If you do that for half an hour or an hour or two hours 01:15:17.470 --> 01:15:22.650 What's going to happen to the the skin that you're rubbing back and forth 01:15:23.370 --> 01:15:24.990 Right you guys know this 01:15:29.870 --> 01:15:30.450 Yeah 01:15:30.450 --> 01:15:38.510 Yeah, the the mantra becomes programming to the to the individual. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's it can be very much attached 01:15:39.350 --> 01:15:39.930 with 01:15:40.810 --> 01:15:47.130 Programming I I didn't look at it exactly that way, but I think I see what you're seeing you're saying there 01:15:48.470 --> 01:15:49.630 That um 01:15:50.370 --> 01:15:54.410 The the programming basically ends up being what comes to the surface 01:15:55.290 --> 01:15:57.770 And what we operate out of 01:15:58.450 --> 01:16:01.730 Say with that example with my roommate if she wasn't 01:16:02.550 --> 01:16:05.390 Doing the mantra it's possible. She could have had 01:16:05.870 --> 01:16:07.290 a thought like oh 01:16:07.290 --> 01:16:11.090 I need some help of some kind. I need to like 01:16:12.110 --> 01:16:15.930 Find a solution to this problem that I'm having 01:16:16.650 --> 01:16:21.370 Whether she may or may not have you know, it turned into a very advanced cancer 01:16:21.370 --> 01:16:24.350 Who knows we have no no way to know but 01:16:25.190 --> 01:16:27.110 But yeah, it's possible that the 01:16:27.110 --> 01:16:34.070 Say one one way that I might say it is that they use the mantra as a way to suppress the programming 01:16:34.730 --> 01:16:37.450 So not necessarily that the mantra becomes the programming 01:16:37.450 --> 01:16:41.750 But it comes now I now I could say it your ways that like them they do mantra 01:16:41.750 --> 01:16:44.030 because of the programming 01:16:44.740 --> 01:16:51.310 And that helps them to not feel the pain of the programming because programming is the most painful thing that you could 01:16:51.370 --> 01:16:52.510 ever experience 01:16:53.270 --> 01:16:59.910 Right. It's threatening your core needs for love control survival and connection 01:17:00.570 --> 01:17:05.410 And when you discover a program and you allow yourself to meet it and to feel it 01:17:05.410 --> 01:17:11.950 That's more pain than anybody signs up for right there, right like that. It's it's right there 01:17:12.710 --> 01:17:17.950 Available to us if we have decided to allow ourselves to go there and to feel that 01:17:19.190 --> 01:17:24.810 In the name of what freedom not not just because pain makes you grow. It's not like that 01:17:24.810 --> 01:17:28.790 You have you have to still do something with that you have to release it 01:17:28.790 --> 01:17:35.070 You have to release the programming that is is vibrating with that pain. So yeah, the mantra is a way to just 01:17:35.830 --> 01:17:36.870 further suppress 01:17:37.590 --> 01:17:40.310 Because if we keep our mind busy 01:17:41.270 --> 01:17:47.070 Back and forth doing the same repetitive thing over and over again, then there's no room 01:17:47.070 --> 01:17:51.690 For a memory to come up. There's no room for a program to come to your awareness 01:17:52.210 --> 01:17:57.990 And to feel all that pain, but this is the thing that people are trying to avoid is the space 01:17:58.710 --> 01:18:00.530 The silence the quiet 01:18:01.230 --> 01:18:08.270 The uh being alone can feel like a uh a death of kinds because it's just you and your thoughts 01:18:08.270 --> 01:18:15.750 You know, what do people do when they're alone for 10 seconds? Is they I I found I I caught myself wanting to do it when I had 01:18:15.750 --> 01:18:19.230 Dinner with my sister. She went off to the restroom and it's like oh 01:18:19.230 --> 01:18:22.330 I want to grab my phone and see if they're they need notifications, right? 01:18:22.750 --> 01:18:25.930 And it's just like no, I'm gonna just sit here 01:18:26.470 --> 01:18:31.110 I'm just gonna sit here. I'm not even gonna look at the menu. I'm not gonna busy myself 01:18:31.110 --> 01:18:33.570 I'm just gonna sit here and see what happens 01:18:34.350 --> 01:18:40.410 And this is an ongoing training for me to just be able to to go into that uh space 01:18:40.410 --> 01:18:42.930 So it doesn't it doesn't mean, you know, I still have 01:18:43.670 --> 01:18:48.130 CDs I've got four recordings. They all have mantras on them. Some of them extended 01:18:48.130 --> 01:18:53.130 I was listening a little bit last night and I'm going. Oh my goodness. She could sing like forever 01:18:53.130 --> 01:18:57.390 The same song and the same thing the same melody in the same words 01:18:58.110 --> 01:18:59.050 and uh 01:19:00.170 --> 01:19:05.750 It is you know, it is it is good in in regulating your nervous system and regulating your breath 01:19:06.450 --> 01:19:09.750 Mantra using your voice is very good 01:19:09.750 --> 01:19:13.910 It's you know, it's it's a beautiful vibration overall for the body 01:19:13.910 --> 01:19:20.130 It's very calming and very nice, but it has this potential and and what does it maybe come down to is your motive 01:19:20.130 --> 01:19:25.930 What's your motive? Is it to numb out or is it to go more deeply in into your 01:19:26.550 --> 01:19:29.630 Uh experience so that you could release and be free 01:19:30.690 --> 01:19:31.950 So yeah, it's all very 01:19:33.390 --> 01:19:34.270 complex and 01:19:34.270 --> 01:19:35.790 Yeah, so I did a lot of mantra 01:19:35.790 --> 01:19:41.790 I don't I don't do mantra as a practice anymore. I'll still sing along to my own songs because they're they're fun and they're pretty 01:19:41.790 --> 01:19:42.850 I like them 01:19:44.390 --> 01:19:49.410 But uh, but not so much as a spiritual practice to mean to me now it's it's all about 01:19:49.910 --> 01:19:50.810 the release work 01:19:51.770 --> 01:19:57.370 Taking away what's not you and uh and letting what's not you go 01:19:58.510 --> 01:20:03.810 Um, this was interesting around memories and I can't remember where I heard this the first time 01:20:03.810 --> 01:20:06.850 but I've been repeating it ever since so I can't give credit to it but 01:20:06.850 --> 01:20:09.290 Someone said that there's two deaths 01:20:10.070 --> 01:20:13.090 The first death is when your body passes 01:20:13.730 --> 01:20:15.210 And you go in the grave 01:20:15.830 --> 01:20:20.170 The second death is the last time that somebody says your name 01:20:20.910 --> 01:20:26.330 Right, which is so interesting then you start to think about like who is going to remember me 01:20:27.030 --> 01:20:33.270 And say my name when I'm gone and you know, sometimes I'll just be sitting there in the quiet and I'll say 01:20:33.270 --> 01:20:36.890 I'll say my mom's name or my dad's name or my grandma's name 01:20:36.890 --> 01:20:37.970 I'll just say it out loud 01:20:38.590 --> 01:20:45.170 to keep their memory alive, right and uh, does that actually affect them or not? I don't know if it's 01:20:45.750 --> 01:20:49.690 There's any truth inside that I don't know but that's kind of fascinating that 01:20:50.950 --> 01:20:53.330 We all have to face that that at some point 01:20:53.790 --> 01:20:59.710 That there's going to come the time where you are no longer in anyone's memory 01:21:00.470 --> 01:21:07.170 And some of us will fight to leave a book behind or some kind of legacy or project 01:21:07.870 --> 01:21:09.970 That's in line with the king archetype that 01:21:10.950 --> 01:21:17.810 Sees beyond their own lifetime and the benefit of maybe potential future generations to come 01:21:17.810 --> 01:21:20.830 But we don't know there's no guarantee of 01:21:20.830 --> 01:21:23.810 The media coming through, you know, you write a book and 01:21:24.350 --> 01:21:28.210 This will this will dissolve and evaporate eventually, right? 01:21:28.210 --> 01:21:32.010 It won't it won't even be a piece of paper anymore. And who knows about 01:21:32.610 --> 01:21:36.830 Electronic we think these things live forever, but they can be gone 01:21:37.570 --> 01:21:38.970 instantaneously also so 01:21:40.150 --> 01:21:44.270 It's kind of fascinating people used to hold the stories and 01:21:44.270 --> 01:21:50.110 And the tales in there in their memories and then pass them on religiously 01:21:50.110 --> 01:21:54.810 And they would be obligated to continue passing on those stories 01:21:54.810 --> 01:21:59.270 And that's how the oral tradition was able to live and thrive 01:22:03.110 --> 01:22:05.810 See she'll said it's a song that never ends 01:22:05.810 --> 01:22:08.930 It just goes on and on my friends some people start singing it 01:22:08.930 --> 01:22:13.310 Not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because yeah 01:22:13.990 --> 01:22:14.990 Yeah, I'm amazed 01:22:15.770 --> 01:22:18.350 That when I listen to people's music 01:22:18.350 --> 01:22:22.570 I have to do it judiciously because I will get their music in my head 01:22:22.570 --> 01:22:26.570 And it will make an impression and it will be there incessantly 01:22:27.310 --> 01:22:27.990 So every 01:22:28.650 --> 01:22:33.030 Every spare moment every quiet moment where I'm not using my mind 01:22:33.470 --> 01:22:35.070 I will I'll be hearing that 01:22:37.370 --> 01:22:43.450 And and then I have to I have to just totally like not listen to that for a really long time 01:22:43.450 --> 01:22:48.010 There's one album I'll listen to every year. I love it and I know all the words to it 01:22:48.010 --> 01:22:49.950 and I like to dance and sing and 01:22:49.950 --> 01:22:57.510 Uh, it's uh, Austin french if you're familiar with him. He's got he's got some really cool. I just I just love his voice 01:22:57.510 --> 01:23:00.810 I love his energy and it's positive and the whole 01:23:01.490 --> 01:23:03.350 world of not positive 01:23:04.490 --> 01:23:10.210 But if I listen to it more than once a year, it's in there and and like I'm always having this backdrop 01:23:10.210 --> 01:23:14.990 So I would rather have my own music as a backdrop if I have anything stuck in my head 01:23:14.990 --> 01:23:18.270 I'd rather have something that I chose stuck in my head like a 01:23:18.270 --> 01:23:20.450 A brain worm. I call it 01:23:21.870 --> 01:23:28.310 Any day he says she loves storytelling but craves real life stories not fictional ones usually just people talking. Yeah 01:23:28.900 --> 01:23:30.670 Yeah, that's what's so compelling about 01:23:31.380 --> 01:23:34.110 connecting with people and hearing their stories 01:23:34.640 --> 01:23:37.870 That often people think their story really has no 01:23:38.510 --> 01:23:38.890 value 01:23:39.550 --> 01:23:42.590 Or no real meaning that that just means that they haven't 01:23:43.150 --> 01:23:49.050 Dug the meaning out of it and threaded their life together in a way that's meaningful. So the stories 01:23:49.860 --> 01:23:50.150 are 01:23:51.270 --> 01:23:57.770 Actually a coherent whole they are this is something that I help people with when it comes to sacred purpose work is 01:23:57.770 --> 01:24:01.850 Looking back in your life and seeing how did everything thread together? 01:24:02.110 --> 01:24:06.290 And how do you have a story from that that has this 01:24:06.290 --> 01:24:13.610 Deeper meaning about maybe the lessons that it's taught you the truths that it's brought forward in your life and all of the 01:24:13.610 --> 01:24:15.050 wisdom of living 01:24:16.590 --> 01:24:22.310 So yeah, the the stories of people are incredibly compelling even if they're 01:24:22.310 --> 01:24:29.410 Just normal living. There's there's something beautiful. And I think the underlying reason for that is that 01:24:30.230 --> 01:24:35.110 We are creatures of the divine and and the divine 01:24:35.910 --> 01:24:36.970 in some ways 01:24:36.970 --> 01:24:43.910 I think is is really living through us in a strange way living through our experiences every time I let myself 01:24:44.410 --> 01:24:48.790 Say be joyful and dance and sing and just express and 01:24:49.350 --> 01:24:49.970 You know 01:24:50.670 --> 01:24:53.330 Take a little bit of a break. I can feel this 01:24:54.070 --> 01:24:54.610 divine 01:24:56.190 --> 01:24:58.090 enjoyment that that 01:24:58.090 --> 01:24:58.730 that 01:24:59.630 --> 01:25:01.250 God can know itself 01:25:01.970 --> 01:25:06.570 Through me and not just through the enjoyment, of course that like that includes all 01:25:06.570 --> 01:25:10.990 You know from the the high the low the the good the bad the ugly everything 01:25:11.990 --> 01:25:15.490 And and then yes, so when we get to see through other people's eyes 01:25:16.110 --> 01:25:17.550 it's exciting because 01:25:18.290 --> 01:25:18.590 I 01:25:19.250 --> 01:25:25.510 Only have this perspective. I only know this being and this body and this life and these memories 01:25:25.510 --> 01:25:31.630 So when somebody shares and imparts and tells a story of their real life 01:25:32.150 --> 01:25:37.430 Then that's compelling to me because I don't have that perspective. I don't get to see through those eyes 01:25:37.430 --> 01:25:40.890 That's why I love interviewing people because I get to see through their eyes 01:25:40.890 --> 01:25:47.170 Even if I don't necessarily totally agree with them with which is often the case I might not interview anybody if I didn't totally 01:25:48.330 --> 01:25:50.170 If I had to totally agree with them 01:25:51.270 --> 01:25:57.270 But uh, yeah storytelling it is really really compelling. I love that we had a I hosted 01:25:58.450 --> 01:26:00.490 In part a women's lecture series 01:26:00.950 --> 01:26:04.930 Based on that exact premise that we we love to hear other people's stories 01:26:04.930 --> 01:26:08.410 And it doesn't matter again that it's some heroic tale 01:26:08.410 --> 01:26:14.470 Sometimes people hear my story and they and then it makes them feel like they're diminished in their story 01:26:14.470 --> 01:26:16.830 But that's just really not 01:26:16.830 --> 01:26:20.410 Not the case at all every story is is worth telling 01:26:20.990 --> 01:26:26.410 Especially if you if you garner something out of it like you you let wisdom come from it 01:26:27.170 --> 01:26:32.350 The ring of truth sounds good. Nice. You should write a story about your life called the ring of truth 01:26:32.910 --> 01:26:36.050 And authentic experience. Yeah to me. This is like the ultimate 01:26:36.770 --> 01:26:43.430 Thing that we can get we can have our own and express our own authentic experience and potentially we could 01:26:44.030 --> 01:26:44.290 get 01:26:44.850 --> 01:26:47.490 The uh experience of other people 01:26:48.390 --> 01:26:52.750 Vicariously that way and and live more than one lifetime because other people are 01:26:52.750 --> 01:26:54.090 Are brave to share 01:26:54.690 --> 01:26:59.530 I just noticed a button on my stream yard says show comments on stage. There they are. Wow 01:27:01.650 --> 01:27:04.370 I really have to play with stream yard when I'm not 01:27:04.970 --> 01:27:08.070 live streaming because there's more features than used to be 01:27:09.670 --> 01:27:11.710 And uh, let's see there's all kinds of other things 01:27:12.130 --> 01:27:14.490 If you bear with me, let me see what happens when 01:27:15.210 --> 01:27:15.610 this 01:27:16.310 --> 01:27:20.330 Oh, that's for the chat. I get it you can make it big for those people who are 01:27:20.330 --> 01:27:21.430 challenged with 01:27:21.850 --> 01:27:24.070 Seeing that would be me. So that's kind of fun 01:27:24.690 --> 01:27:28.050 And what happens when I do this nothing? Okay stays the same 01:27:28.570 --> 01:27:34.010 Good to know and this could be wide and take over the screen a little bit and it could be tall tall is 01:27:34.010 --> 01:27:36.470 Interesting and then regular good. Now. I know 01:27:38.130 --> 01:27:40.690 All right, um, let's see I was also 01:27:43.090 --> 01:27:46.870 I'm gonna talk a little bit about what I call loops and stations 01:27:47.590 --> 01:27:53.050 Is a subject that I teach my coaches to watch out for but we should all be aware of this 01:27:53.650 --> 01:27:56.050 And uh, it's a kind of detective work 01:27:56.810 --> 01:27:58.670 that any inner 01:27:59.410 --> 01:28:05.030 Work of freedom is going to be detective work any work. That's truly for your health is going to be 01:28:05.470 --> 01:28:06.870 a detective work 01:28:07.510 --> 01:28:11.250 And hello paul. Nice to see you glad you're here just uh 01:28:11.250 --> 01:28:15.870 talking about being a detective and that's like the ultimate 01:28:17.050 --> 01:28:19.970 task that we have here on this earth of 01:28:20.690 --> 01:28:21.130 discovering 01:28:22.150 --> 01:28:25.190 In this case in my subject the unconscious 01:28:25.750 --> 01:28:31.550 What can be loops and stations and how you know, you can be aware of a memory 01:28:31.550 --> 01:28:36.090 Oh, this memory keeps coming up. Oh, it just keeps coming up and so you don't investigate it 01:28:36.090 --> 01:28:40.630 You don't necessarily, you know, what are all my feelings around that memory? 01:28:40.630 --> 01:28:43.910 What are all the programs that route those feelings in place? 01:28:44.030 --> 01:28:46.770 You don't necessarily do that and then you just like, oh, yeah that memory 01:28:47.990 --> 01:28:50.490 And you go on with your day and your normal life 01:28:51.130 --> 01:28:56.370 And you just go on but if you if you start doing the detective work and you go like, oh 01:28:57.090 --> 01:29:01.770 Fascinating that memory comes up at the same time every year 01:29:01.770 --> 01:29:06.050 There's some kind of have you noticed that by the way that there's certain of of course cycles 01:29:06.050 --> 01:29:11.150 I'm about to have my astrology read by tofu for my birthday. So that's going to be really fun next week 01:29:11.810 --> 01:29:17.850 And that's all about the cycles and I think I'm about to go through a major Saturn return 01:29:18.610 --> 01:29:20.370 New event in the next 01:29:20.370 --> 01:29:25.590 I think it was 20 27 April 20 27. That's a definite, you know 01:29:25.590 --> 01:29:26.370 re 01:29:27.610 --> 01:29:30.470 membering of your past and your 01:29:30.920 --> 01:29:36.930 Like major things tend to happen. My first Saturn return was when I got really sick with cancer 01:29:37.510 --> 01:29:41.690 And my life fell apart and everything was completely over for 01:29:42.220 --> 01:29:44.610 The moment could have been over forever 01:29:45.670 --> 01:29:46.990 And uh 01:29:46.990 --> 01:29:51.990 So if once you start going really deep into these things you do notice certain kind of 01:29:51.990 --> 01:29:59.790 patterns and and loopings and and ways that you station and remain rather than in, you know, moving 01:30:00.470 --> 01:30:01.070 maybe 01:30:01.790 --> 01:30:05.830 up the scale of emotion or archetypes 01:30:06.510 --> 01:30:08.170 Which is not necessarily the goal 01:30:09.090 --> 01:30:13.390 But this movement is is is definitely part of the goal where there's movement 01:30:13.390 --> 01:30:16.890 There's life and these loops and stations. They keep us 01:30:17.590 --> 01:30:22.410 Moving, but they do not keep us growing. I think is the main point 01:30:22.410 --> 01:30:27.310 so there's movement in the loops and those stations of the loops and 01:30:27.870 --> 01:30:29.950 so I'll use an example of 01:30:31.690 --> 01:30:33.410 Say there's something that 01:30:34.330 --> 01:30:38.630 I would have wanted maybe an opportunity of some kind 01:30:39.270 --> 01:30:44.730 Or somebody to like me or love me and I and I wanted that and then so I would you know 01:30:44.730 --> 01:30:47.290 Grasp at that and try to get that however 01:30:47.290 --> 01:30:49.590 engineer that or 01:30:49.590 --> 01:30:52.350 God forbid manipulate to get that 01:30:52.990 --> 01:30:55.590 Uh, which I don't know what he does on purpose 01:30:55.590 --> 01:30:59.570 Of course, that would only be unconscious and then say there came a point where 01:30:59.570 --> 01:31:00.990 I got rejected 01:31:01.670 --> 01:31:06.610 Or I just couldn't get that thing or I failed or you know, things didn't work out 01:31:06.610 --> 01:31:09.130 Like I hope they did or the person didn't cooperate 01:31:09.690 --> 01:31:12.030 That and and they didn't want to be part of my 01:31:12.870 --> 01:31:14.370 imagination or part of my 01:31:15.150 --> 01:31:16.610 creation that I was trying to make 01:31:17.190 --> 01:31:19.390 And and then so I would 01:31:19.390 --> 01:31:23.170 The next thing from this like trying to get trying to grasp 01:31:23.730 --> 01:31:27.230 When I when I had that full stop then I would go like oh, well 01:31:27.690 --> 01:31:32.210 I don't care about them. I just like oh, I didn't I didn't really care about them. I didn't really care about that 01:31:32.810 --> 01:31:36.230 and uh, and and I might even project on to them that 01:31:36.830 --> 01:31:41.510 They're stupid or they're bad and wrong or uh, you know some kind of 01:31:43.450 --> 01:31:50.510 Maybe compensating myself for feeling bad. I don't I don't have to feel bad and rejected as long as I 01:31:50.510 --> 01:31:55.330 Feel bad towards them and I and I make it like I judged them 01:31:55.810 --> 01:31:58.570 And so you can see how there's like this grasping 01:31:59.030 --> 01:32:05.190 And then there's the avoidance of rejection being another part of the loop and then the moving over towards 01:32:05.190 --> 01:32:11.270 Towards like you're bad. I'm wrong. I never I never liked you anyway or like I must be above you 01:32:11.270 --> 01:32:14.550 That's why you rejected me because I'm so much better than you 01:32:14.550 --> 01:32:17.910 Stuff like that and so you can see there's a few different 01:32:18.570 --> 01:32:22.270 Loops the the loop itself has a few different stations 01:32:22.890 --> 01:32:28.550 And the tendency is to just keep on moving inside the same repetitive 01:32:29.630 --> 01:32:35.150 Loop that you have already created for yourself, which turns into a kind of 01:32:36.030 --> 01:32:37.350 memory but an unconscious 01:32:38.030 --> 01:32:42.850 memory not that you would uh do that on purpose by any means 01:32:43.950 --> 01:32:49.110 It is a way to keep suffering in place to have the um 01:32:49.110 --> 01:32:52.210 Perpet you know if you have the suffering go into perpetuity 01:32:53.330 --> 01:32:58.190 And never get off the loop in the station. The beauty is you know, ultimately you can pan out 01:32:58.190 --> 01:33:03.630 You can see the whole dynamic of your own your own 01:33:04.230 --> 01:33:09.650 Loops and and stations and you can release the whole thing at one time 01:33:09.650 --> 01:33:12.530 If you can see it all at one time and you can see the programs 01:33:13.110 --> 01:33:15.670 That you use to hold the loops and stations in place 01:33:15.670 --> 01:33:21.250 You can let go so much at one time and that whole dynamic can just turn into 01:33:21.250 --> 01:33:25.970 You know what seems like funny like did I really do that? Did I think like that? 01:33:26.490 --> 01:33:30.010 And that can get more subtle also you can release layers of it 01:33:30.010 --> 01:33:33.850 And it just gets uh get smaller and less consequential and it's not a showstopper 01:33:33.850 --> 01:33:37.530 And you just notice it but it's not actually keeping you stuck in any way 01:33:38.310 --> 01:33:43.350 And uh, yeah holidays are are notorious for bringing up certain kinds of memories exactly 01:33:43.350 --> 01:33:46.390 Exactly. You've got it. They're just uh 01:33:47.510 --> 01:33:49.090 That's that is part of the hard 01:33:49.710 --> 01:33:54.330 Hard part I have to admit that when the holidays start to come up these days 01:33:54.330 --> 01:33:56.590 It is it does bring up tension and 01:33:57.110 --> 01:34:03.990 And uh cause for more inner work for me because holidays used to be a time with a family and uh 01:34:03.990 --> 01:34:06.610 And now I have a lot of free time 01:34:06.610 --> 01:34:11.230 I might be helping a friend to create a little bit of a business in christmas this year 01:34:11.230 --> 01:34:15.350 That's how free I am. I don't have any plans of any kind with any luck 01:34:15.350 --> 01:34:19.730 I can get my son and his girlfriend to come over for a supper or something like that, but uh 01:34:20.390 --> 01:34:23.210 They are living their own life and having their own 01:34:24.050 --> 01:34:25.010 experience and 01:34:25.750 --> 01:34:30.250 Busy and stuff like that. So yeah holidays really bring up stuff for people and 01:34:31.550 --> 01:34:37.150 When you think about you know for those that are connected with family and going to family gatherings and 01:34:37.950 --> 01:34:43.430 You know, you're gonna meet so and so and they're gonna say something to you or they're not gonna want to listen to you 01:34:43.430 --> 01:34:48.790 And it's gonna trigger your childhood memories that you don't matter or it's gonna make you 01:34:48.790 --> 01:34:52.970 You know, maybe you're higher up the scale and you think oh, yeah, you're still just stupid as ever 01:34:54.090 --> 01:35:00.910 Why don't you listen to anything? I have to say and uh, yeah, it's fodder for a great deal of 01:35:01.730 --> 01:35:05.110 Of issues. I always thought I should just do support groups for holidays 01:35:05.110 --> 01:35:06.330 with people 01:35:07.330 --> 01:35:10.330 But they're busy. That's not not they're not gonna be 01:35:11.110 --> 01:35:14.510 Doing that at that time. So yeah, let me see what else I got here 01:35:17.790 --> 01:35:22.910 I was um reflecting a little bit on the word forgot and 01:35:23.690 --> 01:35:28.330 On the surface that that word is is kind of uh confusing because four 01:35:28.990 --> 01:35:30.850 implies, you know before 01:35:31.490 --> 01:35:36.310 Where it's like the foreground meaning the the front 01:35:37.030 --> 01:35:40.630 And and then got so it's it's like this 01:35:41.490 --> 01:35:41.870 future 01:35:43.250 --> 01:35:43.890 gottenness 01:35:44.770 --> 01:35:48.310 Uh, which is forgotten, but that it just seems like a badly 01:35:49.210 --> 01:35:50.210 Named word 01:35:50.890 --> 01:35:55.130 But when I looked into the actual etymology of it, it was kind of interesting 01:35:55.930 --> 01:35:58.570 um, it is uh middle english 01:35:59.370 --> 01:35:59.730 From 01:36:00.570 --> 01:36:03.470 for yet for yet in from old english 01:36:04.750 --> 01:36:05.350 for 01:36:05.990 --> 01:36:06.590 For 01:36:07.290 --> 01:36:13.050 Geyton if I'm saying that right at all for etym. Who knows if they pronounce that g or not 01:36:13.630 --> 01:36:18.930 To lose power of recalling to the mind to fail to remember neglect inadvertently. That's all our normal 01:36:18.930 --> 01:36:20.770 meaning for the word forgotten 01:36:21.650 --> 01:36:22.590 used probably with 01:36:23.630 --> 01:36:24.750 Privative force 01:36:26.030 --> 01:36:34.090 The now specifically referring to the word for the prefix for so this made a lot more sense that it it uh, 01:36:34.210 --> 01:36:35.410 its inherent meaning 01:36:36.710 --> 01:36:42.350 To be a way or a miss. So not not like the the before meaning 01:36:43.210 --> 01:36:47.690 Or the forefront meaning but a way a miss or opposite 01:36:48.490 --> 01:36:50.630 so it is um 01:36:51.070 --> 01:36:52.050 and then got 01:36:52.690 --> 01:36:54.210 or or um 01:36:54.210 --> 01:36:58.790 Getten is uh to get or to grasp 01:36:59.270 --> 01:37:05.130 And then so it's the missed grasp. That's what that word actually means. So having looked up the etymology 01:37:05.130 --> 01:37:06.470 It makes a lot more sense now 01:37:07.090 --> 01:37:12.710 And it literally means to un un get hence to lose from the mind 01:37:13.390 --> 01:37:20.770 And um, I don't know about you guys, but I tend to run my life a little bit more alchemist than I do 01:37:21.410 --> 01:37:22.670 uh, what's a 01:37:23.230 --> 01:37:26.930 Another example could be could be warrior or or king 01:37:26.930 --> 01:37:29.750 The alchemist will rely more on 01:37:30.240 --> 01:37:35.090 The access of memories. So there is the potential that we don't have to think our way through life 01:37:35.090 --> 01:37:39.550 And we don't have to methodically, you know, put everything on a list although 01:37:39.550 --> 01:37:44.110 I still do lists pretty good these days because at some point the memory is going to fail 01:37:44.110 --> 01:37:45.610 you get the volume of things 01:37:46.200 --> 01:37:51.450 In in the memory and you might not access the right thing at the right time or 01:37:51.450 --> 01:37:59.770 If you've noticed you will remember it at the wrong time when you can't do anything about it when you're your hands are tied or you're 01:37:59.770 --> 01:38:01.350 You know, it's not accessible 01:38:01.350 --> 01:38:07.410 And you always remember it when you can't do anything about it and you always forget about it when you can do something about it 01:38:07.410 --> 01:38:10.610 So that's when it'll hit the list like okay. Yeah, this is coming 01:38:11.170 --> 01:38:14.450 But to the degree that my memory will serve me 01:38:15.710 --> 01:38:17.150 Whatever I need 01:38:17.650 --> 01:38:22.070 In that moment. I I know that potential to be very real and true 01:38:22.070 --> 01:38:26.390 I have amazed myself sometimes where there's uh clients 01:38:26.390 --> 01:38:31.250 Maybe I haven't had a conversation with for a long time. It's been a big period in between 01:38:31.790 --> 01:38:35.110 Working together and I do take I do take notes 01:38:35.110 --> 01:38:40.510 But there have been I I'm like amazed the degree to which I can hold certain memories 01:38:40.510 --> 01:38:46.030 And then I can also completely forget, you know, so if you ever get worried that somehow 01:38:46.030 --> 01:38:48.290 Uh, I um 01:38:48.830 --> 01:38:50.670 You know, I'm going to divulge your secrets 01:38:50.670 --> 01:38:56.630 I'm never going to do that like ever just because that's that's a vow that I take to myself and as a coach 01:38:56.630 --> 01:39:00.770 I'm just never ever going to speak and what would be the point who would be interested in that 01:39:00.770 --> 01:39:03.010 That's just like pure. I don't know 01:39:03.010 --> 01:39:10.590 That's not authentic to speak about someone else's inner life and experiences and stuff like that unless it's a teaching moment for a specific purpose 01:39:10.590 --> 01:39:14.770 Uh, and of course never revealing anybody's name 01:39:14.770 --> 01:39:19.610 But sometimes I will remember the finest details and you're just like, where was that? 01:39:20.350 --> 01:39:22.930 hanging out and might have never 01:39:22.930 --> 01:39:30.650 Been revealed to me had I not been in this next conversation with them because there's no reason for that memory to come up 01:39:30.650 --> 01:39:33.190 Or maybe they're the memories come for 01:39:33.910 --> 01:39:36.150 No reason or something like that. So 01:39:37.310 --> 01:39:39.030 Yeah, that was uh 01:39:39.030 --> 01:39:42.310 kind of interesting what's remembered and what's forgotten 01:39:43.550 --> 01:39:44.730 and uh 01:39:46.850 --> 01:39:48.150 Yeah, so 01:39:49.030 --> 01:39:56.270 That um, you know, if we're here if we are here to awaken into greater awareness and the freedom that can be made possible because of that 01:39:56.270 --> 01:39:59.350 You know, I'm I'm putting out here that 01:40:00.230 --> 01:40:04.230 awareness itself isn't the goal, but it's it's the 01:40:05.010 --> 01:40:06.770 freedom that can be 01:40:07.450 --> 01:40:08.490 garnered from 01:40:09.310 --> 01:40:13.390 the awareness because the awareness brings us to all kinds of 01:40:14.170 --> 01:40:17.690 You know, knowing of our self know thyself 01:40:18.110 --> 01:40:23.530 And be aware of yourself. Don't be just blindsided every time you have a thought or you do something and you're like, oh 01:40:23.930 --> 01:40:27.410 Who did that or who am I I didn't say that 01:40:27.890 --> 01:40:29.510 Even going into denial 01:40:30.210 --> 01:40:31.890 about it to yourself or to others 01:40:32.850 --> 01:40:34.250 But this, you know 01:40:34.730 --> 01:40:38.130 Awakening to greater awareness wanting to know yourself is really 01:40:38.650 --> 01:40:41.770 The place that freedom can be made possible from 01:40:42.830 --> 01:40:44.650 And to me that is the great goal 01:40:45.750 --> 01:40:46.230 so 01:40:46.910 --> 01:40:49.690 It's not a straight line. It's not an it's not 01:40:50.290 --> 01:40:52.390 Just like put one foot in front of the other 01:40:52.390 --> 01:40:56.390 It'd be nice if it was like that but it's not it's windy and it's up and down 01:40:56.930 --> 01:41:00.950 and you get to work with your memories as they as they come to you 01:41:00.950 --> 01:41:07.650 And uh, we're forever creating new memories. Sometimes our memories go on the record right now. This is 01:41:07.650 --> 01:41:11.190 Going on the record and and going to be 01:41:11.740 --> 01:41:15.450 available to someone else so that they could come along. It's like kind of a 01:41:16.120 --> 01:41:23.310 An artifactual memory that maybe in the future can be found and maybe can't be we don't know if all of this is going to 01:41:23.800 --> 01:41:27.690 Be destroyed. I always save my recordings, but that's no guarantee at all 01:41:28.990 --> 01:41:30.010 and uh 01:41:30.010 --> 01:41:34.550 So I you know, I guess one of the ultimate things I wanted to leave you guys with was that 01:41:38.210 --> 01:41:40.070 The um, you know 01:41:40.610 --> 01:41:45.770 Not being a straight line evolution not being able to just go from a to b and and gain freedom 01:41:46.450 --> 01:41:47.930 Can feel defeating 01:41:48.770 --> 01:41:51.850 And can leave us feeling like oh, well, I did all that work 01:41:51.850 --> 01:41:58.710 But here I am feeling bad again or here. I am having another holiday strange holiday moment with the same person 01:41:58.710 --> 01:42:02.970 Or oh that person isn't even here and I'm still mad at them 01:42:03.510 --> 01:42:08.850 And um, you know that that can make you feel like oh, have I done any work at all? 01:42:09.030 --> 01:42:09.950 Have I come anywhere? 01:42:10.490 --> 01:42:14.050 But knowing that it's not a straight line evolution to freedom 01:42:14.050 --> 01:42:19.970 Allowing things to just continue to come up over and over again allowing the memory to serve 01:42:20.630 --> 01:42:26.130 Your ability to know yourself to do the detective work and go deeper 01:42:26.770 --> 01:42:31.230 Inside to find the roots in the unconscious to dare to discharge 01:42:32.110 --> 01:42:36.510 painful memories that came from losses and traumas 01:42:36.510 --> 01:42:37.530 or growing 01:42:39.170 --> 01:42:45.390 Then this to me is very worthwhile and I just want to encourage everyone to keep going which is my maxim 01:42:46.330 --> 01:42:51.070 So I think that's pretty much everything that I wanted to share today and 01:42:51.610 --> 01:42:57.070 It's a kind of fun subject that I like musing about some some things you can't conclude on I can only 01:42:57.630 --> 01:42:59.350 open the inquiry and 01:42:59.350 --> 01:43:01.590 Ask the questions and create 01:43:02.230 --> 01:43:06.490 Some discussion around it. So thank you everyone for joining. I totally appreciate it 01:43:07.050 --> 01:43:13.590 Your contribution is invaluable to me because it's more fun and it's more interactive and it gives me 01:43:13.590 --> 01:43:18.390 I'm not just here talking at you guys. I'm talking with you which I prefer by far 01:43:19.210 --> 01:43:25.150 So let's see coming up on the king heroes journey podcast on monday. I'm going to be having christine 01:43:26.890 --> 01:43:32.090 Massey who was the warrior behind the freedom of information acts that 01:43:32.090 --> 01:43:36.450 Let us know there's no boogeyman virus. So that's like huge 01:43:37.110 --> 01:43:39.830 And I've I've known of her for a really long time already 01:43:39.830 --> 01:43:44.390 But finally got brave and asked her for an interview. She said yes right away. So I'm looking forward to that 01:43:44.970 --> 01:43:49.830 And so we'll be back 1 p.m. Central time on monday the 17th 01:43:49.830 --> 01:43:50.490 and 01:43:51.190 --> 01:43:56.010 I'm going to be just hanging out with a friend or two for my birthday on the weekend 01:43:57.270 --> 01:44:01.170 And um, I think that's all so much love to you guys 01:44:01.170 --> 01:44:05.190 I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day and I'm going to set up my 01:44:05.910 --> 01:44:06.170 outro 01:44:06.790 --> 01:44:08.330 Video see how this goes 01:44:09.310 --> 01:44:10.590 That seems good 01:44:11.150 --> 01:44:13.150 All right 01:44:15.950 --> 01:44:19.010 Everybody lots of love for now