You did?
Ted Kozinski.
No way.
A brilliant mathematician had been living a hermit's life in a cabin in the Montana woods.
No way.
Uncle Ted talks in my ear.
Anti-technology manifesto.
Uncle Ted talks without fear.
A hooded sweatshirt, sunglasses.
Critiquing the direction this whole society is headed.
Uncle Ted talks these ideas worth spreading.
When touching grass and greener pastures.
Leaving behind the technology disaster.
Uncle Ted talks in my ear.
Uncle Ted talks crystal clear.
Uncle Ted talks in the core.
What's up, Ted?
It's Tuesday, June 23rd.
Do you know where your Ted's are?
I found my Ted's.
I don't know about you guys.
Yeah, my Ted's are in a row.
My Ted's are in a row.
Oh, lined up.
Do you have them in a bucket?
Well, if it'd be hard to be in a row in a bucket, then it would be more of a circle, maybe, or just a clump.
Yeah, sort of a floating conglomeration.
Yeah.
It seems like the bucket in and of itself is going to just preclude the row.
Unless they were in a mini Ted boat and they were all instructed to row.
But that would be really the only way.
Tedding is on.
Go Tedding!
Ted Gemsworthy!
Hey!
What's up, what's up?
What's up, Ted?
What's happening, man?
How are you doing, Ted Gemsworthy?
Good to see you.
Good to see you guys.
I'm laboring over some audio interference here.
I'm outside in the neighborhoods mowing their lawns.
Tony Coriolis!
It's all right.
Yeah, Ted's swimming in a circle.
That's right, Kelly.
Nice and bright as Gemsworthy in the Emerald City or Heaven.
Well, if it's almost Heaven, then it must be West Virginia, right?
Yes.
It's pretty happening.
Talastongos.
It looks like he's more in Ireland, Scotland, UK-ish area.
Which means Oregon.
Yeah.
Usually.
Oh no.
Maybe Southern Washington.
But yeah, when it starts to look particularly English, you get Oregon-y.
You do.
It's no fault of yours, Ted.
None whatsoever.
You don't pick the weather.
I don't think.
I'm pretty used to it.
I grew up in Portland area.
I mean, the mountains kind of outside of Portland area, Mount Hood.
So I'm used to...
I was born with the depression.
Yeah.
You developed depression.
I was born to the depression.
I think you develop weed use up in an area.
And that takes care of the depression pretty well.
Right?
You might not feel better, but you'll feel better about it.
Yeah.
And that's kind of all that matters in the moment for a lot of people.
Like, hey, no, it's okay right now.
Right now, it's not that bad.
I can go do this.
I'll deal with it.
It'll be all right.
Horrible.
I'm probably the only one,
but I've been watching a lot of World Cup.
And it's so much fun.
Yeah, it's so heterosexual.
Yeah, that's a total fucking, like, the dumbest lie
that's ever been perpetrated on society ever.
And it's only been perpetrated by, like,
pulling guards who were too fat to get their own pussy.
And it just sort of proliferated.
It did.
And it's okay.
It's okay if you want to hang on to, you know,
dumb-failed tropes.
That's fine.
But everyone else in the entire world knows better
and laughs at you.
Well, I mean, I have noticed that the world's turned
distinctly gay.
So, I mean, there is that.
Yeah.
It does correspond with the rise of soccer.
Correlation is not causation.
No matter what you're talking about.
But again, it is interesting that there are people
that still fall on this sword like it actually fucking matters.
The rest of us are really enjoying all of it
because we don't have to hide in a solo man cave
of just self-flagellating masculinity
that doesn't exist outside of that, you know,
self-stroking man cave.
So, how does the World Cup work?
Well, you go ahead and think that to yourself
while you're cheering on...
It's not me, dude.
It's the entire fucking planet.
While you're cheering on the England silly nannies.
I got to fucking laugh my ass off today.
You dumb fuck.
You ignorant piece of shit.
I got to laugh my ass off today
while England fell on a fucking ass
and played to a draw by Ghana.
And here's one thing about it.
Ghana only qualified
because they needed one more African team.
And Ghana...
You would draw.
Now, this is the funny thing.
There was a witch doctor.
Allegedly.
Full-blown witch doctor
at England's last match.
The witch doctor knew that England
was going to be playing Ghana the following week.
So, the witch doctor showed up to England's match
and put a curse on England's top player.
Top scorer, best in England right now.
She put a curse on this dude.
And the very next match, they played to a draw.
He's held scoreless.
She got into his head.
She put that voodoo on him, dawg.
She put that voodoo on him.
And it may impact the entire outcome of the World Cup.
It might.
Who knew fucking which doctors were this into sports ball?
Right?
Apparently, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
for your country to compete on the world stage.
People get into that a little bit.
Even witch doctors.
I didn't know.
Did the witch doctor do this to the Prime Minister of the UK as well?
You know, I think the Prime Minister of the UK did that to himself.
Honestly, I think that there's a curse
set upon number 10 Downing Street,
much in the way there's been a curse,
set upon Harry Kane.
So, the UK is currently without a James Bond,
a doctor who and a Prime Minister.
They're actually getting a much worse hardcore Zionist
rent boy for the New World Order
in the dude who's replacing Keir Starmer.
Keir Starmer is an absolute nothing in a nobody.
You could go to IKEA
and you could build a Prime Minister that would be,
I don't know, more functional than Keir Starmer.
However, he was only there to be like the manager
for, you know, a season or two of Ye Olde Empire.
And now he's gone.
He's been a company man his entire career.
He'll find something.
He will.
But go Ghana.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Go Ghana.
They have as much chance of winning the World Cup as we do.
We have a witch doctor.
Maybe we've got varying degrees of magical technicians.
I don't know if that counts.
Any witch doctors out there.
Right.
Good question.
Blow a little good mojo.
Norways.
In fact, Norway.
They used to be easier to find, but they took back page down.
Great.
Also.
Norway in the World Cup is freaking so much fun to watch.
They have.
I don't know if you guys are familiar with, with football,
soccer, whatever or not.
Normally the, the people that are up front, the strikers,
they're usually we.
They're, they're very quick fleet of foot,
scramble around defense men and stuff like that.
And knock something into the goal.
Norway was like, nah, we're going to put a six foot four ogre
on our frontline.
Oh, and he can run 25 miles.
He can sprint 25 miles an hour.
Oh, and on top of that, he goes to America during his off season
to train with NFL linebackers to figure out how to best break
a defense with his face or shoulder.
And so Norway has this giant fucking ogre Viking.
Who's just dominating everyone that they play against.
This dude is responsible for two different broken legs,
just running through people in the European League.
That's fucking funny.
He's insane.
Holland, he's insane dude.
It's so much fun to watch.
And the Norwegians are just partying their tits off everywhere
they go and beloved by everyone.
The Norwegians and the Scots may get adopted by America
before this is all over.
So with the soccer game or the football,
Northeamericano, that's a different sport.
I'm a little bit confused about how they keep time in the game.
I know that once the game starts, they don't stop running.
The clock continues to run.
Do they add time on at the end?
They do stop running as of the Qatar World Cup in 2022.
They paused about halfway through each half to take a
hydration break because in Qatar where it's 120 plus degrees
and you're running full speed non-stop for 90 minutes,
you might want to stop.
Take a little sip of water.
So they implemented that and they carried over into this one.
So now instead of 45 minute halves,
they take a break about 23, 25 minutes in for three minutes.
Those three minutes are added on to the end of the half.
So it's still a 45 minute half and every time the ref blows a whistle
and play stops, the clock stops,
and then it gets reactivated when the whistle blows again.
So there's a thing called stoppage time.
So you can get anywhere from like four to eight or nine minutes
tacked on to the end of your half to make sure that you
actually play 45 minutes of football.
Howard said 90% of Norwegians are domesticated now.
Okay. Does Howard live in Norway?
Yeah. Okay.
Howard lives in Norway.
Okay.
So they all pee sitting down.
Is that what you think?
Is that what you're saying, Howard?
They pee sitting down now?
Hail the all father.
Okay.
Yeah, we could dock numbers again.
I realized that the summer solstice was on the 21st
and we're on the 23rd.
So the sequence of numbers being six, 21, 26,
six, two, one, two, six is a perfect palindrome.
But then I got yelled at by Europeans to say that
we were numbering things wrong on the calendar.
So it's like day, month, year.
I like year, month, day,
but there's so many different stuff.
Biggest to smaller.
Howard confirmed 90% pee sitting down.
Okay. Okay.
Just doing our account keeping here.
I did have an important question that I wanted to bring up
via this lady here.
Is Norway having the other,
the same upheaval that the other countries are having
over the immigration and everything
where they're having real upheavals in their government, Howard?
It's a hurricane.
In Sweden, 100% pee sitting down.
I knew that.
Well, Sweden, it's the Islamic Republic of Sweden.
It has been quite a while.
She may be Swedish.
I'm not sure.
I know she's from Minnesota and they play her on TV.
Here's a question she has for you all.
If I say Kirby Puckett pooped in a bucket,
what color was his poop?
Do you know what I mean?
Or is that a very regional thing?
Is that just a regional thing?
Yeah.
We know who Kirby Puckett was because we're of a certain age
and watched baseball growing up.
But we never heard that.
Yeah, I was trying to pull from my memory banks.
You never seen a fat man run like that.
Right.
He did have surprising fat man quickness.
He did.
It was like a beach ball fucking just zipping along.
Yeah, he was built like a mini fridge with legs.
Built to be a food processing machine.
Halibut.
Fucking on base percentage, though.
Kirby was great.
He really was.
Big fan of Kirby.
That Sweden is worse when it comes to immigrants.
The country is basically ruined.
It's lawn mowing season, isn't it?
For everyone out there.
The Swedes were always the weak ones.
Yeah.
Is Scott sponsoring the World Cup as well?
Yeah.
The lawn care company.
Selling the seeds and the chemicals.
You know, you can check in on every World Cup game
and look at all of the sponsors around the stadiums.
Pfizer.
I haven't seen Pfizer yet.
I haven't seen any GibiJab companies.
No.
A lot of airlines.
And a lot of sports book.
A lot of online betting.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Or it pays the ad space.
Online betting.
Chris.
What's up?
Ted Krasinski.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to have to agree with this, Howard.
We got a rain check from Ted Markleton
whose interview has gone long
and he has work early in the morning,
so he said next week he'll pop in.
Okay.
That's all right.
Goddamn shame.
It's a shame.
Shame, Markleton.
Shame.
What was the interview for?
Oh, it just wanted to pop in.
And I did his show earlier today
and he was like,
ah, well, maybe I'll loop in Uncle Ted Talks
with part of the episode.
And I was like, okay, cool.
I don't, I don't make plans.
I have goals.
Plans never really work out.
Right.
This guy planned that.
Amen.
Have you seen this guy on your social media?
Oh, yeah.
This is a comedian.
He's a gingerbilly.
Gingerbilly.
And this is his
Ron Beer is a John Beer 2.0,
his tractor system.
Is that a Geo Metro?
Can we identify that?
No, Metro's are bigger than that.
Yeah, no, that's a 1973 AMC Pacer.
Pacer, okay.
Maybe a 75, but that's an AMC Pacer.
Beautiful.
I don't know if those are the original tires on it.
Yeah, Metro's weren't much bigger,
but they were a little bit bigger.
I would like to introduce all of you
to the new and improved Ron Beer 2.0.
This here is my attachment holder.
As you said, I'm a waiter up here.
I don't have to have no trailer or nothing like that.
I hop in my Ron Beer.
I ride to the location.
I cut the grass and say, oh, I need to weed it.
And I take my weed air off of the attachment and weed it.
When I'm done, I put the weed air back up there
and I head on out.
Nice.
But what would you look at there?
I ain't thirsty no more.
Thanks to my drape machine in my Ron Beer 2.0.
Now, this here is the 25 horsepower Kawasaki motor
that is powering my 54-inch deck.
I have got my exhaust running out of the top of the vehicle
so I do not die of carbon monoxide poisoning
as I am cutting the grass.
Very good.
See that high jet.
Well, that thing cuts.
54-inch blade.
Genius.
That is pretty smart.
I don't know if he cuts anyone else's lawns or just his own.
It's got a color coordinated to the green and the yellow.
I'm not sure what's in the beverage.
That's a strawberry daiquiri.
Okay.
I would imagine.
Either that or pink lemonade and vodka.
Right.
There's alcohol involved.
We've determined that.
Yes.
Kawasaki engine.
24 horse is a giant fucking engine.
It's for a 54-inch blade on it.
It's not driving the car, I assume.
It's only driving just the blade.
No, that thing has a blade.
Those things have a three-cylinder motor in the front of them.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Normally on a riding motor,
the motor is going to be driving the vehicle
and driving the blade.
This is 24 horse just driving the blade.
Yeah.
Well, you don't need to go fast.
That thing can probably fly like a helicopter.
Oh, it's a pacer.
You can't go fast.
My dad had a gremlin.
My dad had a gremlin that he dropped a 302 in.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, he said he won so many races with that,
but he blew up three different engines with that fucking thing
and then almost killed himself fucking going through a ditch
and like flying up the other side.
I believe that.
Yeah.
Where would you put a 302?
He had the whole, he had all the firewalls gutted out
and everything.
My dad's a killer welder and just welded in a frame
that where a 302 could drop
and just gutted the whole front end of that fucking thing out.
That'd be the whole front end.
Yeah.
That's not even the straight six.
Yeah.
Ah, yeah.
Did he cut the hood?
Yeah, he had hood pins holding the hood down.
Okay.
This is the only way.
Holy crap.
Yeah.
The thing was a fucking little death rocket.
A picture in my head right now.
Fucking insane.
I almost bought somebody did a similar number to a B10.
You remember them old B10, them little B10 trucks?
Oh, yeah.
Somebody did a similar thing to it and I pulled up onto this lot
and I can't remember what they had that I was looking at,
but they're like, you like sleepers?
Like who doesn't like a sleeper?
And fucking they take me over
and there's this B10 they want like fucking eight grand for.
This is back in 92, not today.
So eight grand was a lot.
Like, you know, and he popped the hood on that thing
and that thing had a fucking 302 in there,
all tube framed in the whole nine.
I was like, jeez.
I had a 1989 S10
that had a 350 vet engine
and dropped into it.
Do you have to put counterweights?
I did.
There was six inches of concrete in the bed of the truck
and it was on big tires in the back
and it had a timing switch and a her shifter in it.
And it was, I did really dumb stuff in that truck
that I was really proud of.
Yes.
Yeah.
That thing was cherry.
And the dude who I got it from, he was a car guy.
He had a fucking 67 and a half Mustang.
He had a 1980, I think it was an 86 Camaro,
pace car, Indy 500 pace car edition.
Oh shit.
Like all kinds of just, I mean, completely beefed up.
Nobody should drive these on the street cars.
He had all of them.
And I got the S10 from him.
And he had bored out the engine to like a 380.
380, 3 stroker.
And it was.
Wow.
Interesting.
I remember back when that was the thing to do
is you'd bored out to a 380, 3 stroker.
Make it into a stroker motor.
Yeah.
Fucking.
It had a timing switch on it.
So when you pulled up to a red light instead of
it was
and I'd look over at a Mustang or something and
they're like, okay, yeah, great.
Let's go.
Let's do it for banks.
See the light turn yellow, flip the timing switch.
And the dude would be like, what the fuck?
And you just be gone.
And at the next light looking back like, hey, I thought we were racing.
What are you doing way back there?
I thought we were.
What?
Oh, that's weird.
Hey, I got to get your car now.
Yeah, I don't know where you race where you're from,
but you're supposed to go on green.
Right.
Shit.
Maybe you were waiting for a brighter, more exuberant,
more inclusive green.
I don't know.
I don't really know you.
I don't.
I saw it go green.
I went.
Not sure what you were waiting on.
Yeah.
For anybody that's never heard the stroker either.
It's like that thump thump.
It's such a deep, like just like it almost sounds like the
engines either going to die or explode.
Go.
But to our guy, you know what's going on.
You're like, oh, shit.
That's a stroker.
Clip it.
Yes.
Indeed.
Marcus still ain't clipped my things from last week.
It's in the queue.
Long queue.
The nipsnip.
Little haircut.
Cut in the lawn.
Mow in the lawn.
Wacking all the weeds back.
Lost to do this summer.
June 23rd.
We got your Ron beers fired up.
Yeah.
Been kind of cold in Minnesota though.
We had some hail.
Oh, hell no.
In ice forms.
You're in Minnesota.
What do I always forget then?
Man, a snow.
Yeah.
Does it suck?
Or is it okay?
Always.
Best place I've ever lived.
Wouldn't live anywhere else.
It's the holy place, Marcus.
Is that really?
I've lived other places.
I haven't lived in a bucket.
That's a curvy bucket though.
But I did see him and Paul Mall and her drive up to the
stoplight.
Yeah.
Curvy bucket and Paul Mall.
Yeah, they were going north to go fishing.
Probably passed like a hundred.
I remember a few years after Kirby bucket retired.
He flipped his car on the side of the road and somebody
walked over and then noticed it was him.
And rather than help him, they robbed him.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Real big move.
Hey, here's Kirby bucket.
Give me your stuff.
Oh, wow.
This guy's got stuff.
I want it now.
Yeah.
Jerk.
You're right, Kirby.
You're right.
You're tough.
Somebody will come help you sooner or later.
I can put this shit on eBay though.
I got this out the back of Kirby bucket's car while he was
dangling upside down.
Kirby bucket always wore a safety belt.
Yeah.
This bucket was spilled all over him.
What color was inside of your car?
I'm still not sure why we would know exactly what color
his shit was though.
It was just something I could just say in the playground
in Minnesota.
Do they say that when you were there?
Yeah.
She made it sound like you would know what color it is
though and I distinctly do not know what color Kirby bucket
is.
I'm still waiting for an answer.
Well, you know, it's journalism today and she's doing
investigative reporting, sort of a cultural.
Wait, hang on.
Is it like an ink-a-dink type of thing?
Could be.
We're like, it pours all out and you stink,
and then you're, whatever it is,
and eventually you get to punch somebody.
Right?
You say Caucasian and then you punch a guy in the
stomach.
All I'm saying is if he's eating Oreos,
his poop is black the next day.
Oreos makes your poop distinctly black.
Does it?
Yeah.
Must be all the deadly poison.
Yeah.
Shit, Kirby Puckett died in a hurricane?
Or some shit?
Kirby Puckett died in a hurricane?
That's what they're saying online.
I didn't know that.
Is it recent?
When he was 40, 2006.
Yeah.
Hurricanes were bad back then.
I feel like I remember playing with him on
Kangaroo Junior baseball in like Nintendo 64
back in the day.
Was he down in Margaritaville for this?
Man, let me reopen up and see what it was saying.
Oh, no.
Well, I've kept all my Kirby Puckett cards.
I got my Michael Jordan cards.
Yeah.
You got cards?
Got some cards.
Okay.
My dad's got a Kirby Puckett rookie card.
So Wikipedia is saying that he had a hemorrhagic stroke
at his home.
That's a huge difference.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is nothing like a hurricane.
I could see where hemorrhagic and hurricane seats
are kind of similar.
Yeah.
What the hell was I reading?
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
Some variants in the death reports.
See, I'm getting that.
All right.
Maybe I must have just really read something vast.
But now I'm seeing his life was,
no, his career was cut short by glaucoma.
And then his death was,
it's mentioning blindness,
I'm assuming from the stroke
or something like that that you were just mentioning.
Hurricane of glaucoma.
He was a fat man.
Like, he was shocked.
He was shockingly fast for a fat boy.
And he jumped real tall, real high.
It was similar to like a fucking John Belushi
or Chris Barley where like you see him move
and you're like, you're too fat to move like that.
Why is that?
SFMQ.
It's the unknown quantity in athletics.
The SFMQ is the surprising fat man quickness.
Yes.
Boom.
Cause I died on my.
There are some of the saw.
Thank you very much, Hurricane.
In RIT Kirby.
Motherfuckers.
Yeah.
Thank you, Hurricane.
Some of these sawed off motherfuckers can.
That was great.
Just hoof it.
Like, and you're like, how did that?
What?
How?
Jerome Bettis.
Yeah.
Stored up energy.
An example of this.
Yeah.
Well, the thing is when.
When you'd watch Kirby run.
Fucking like a lot of the really fast dudes.
They like lop like a dear damn near.
Like Kirby, these tiny little stubby legs were like.
SFMQ.
He Noratu ran.
His entire career.
It was shoulders forward arms back.
Yeah.
The whole way.
Yeah.
Little legs just going as fast as you can fucking.
Feel a folk song coming out of this.
Little legs.
Like.
Kirby.
Three trunks.
Huge, but compact.
Yeah.
Very fun athlete to watch.
For sure.
Oh man.
That guy could hit the fucking ball.
Wow.
Intention.
He, he wasn't, he wasn't like.
Like big dude that was just trying for a home run every time.
He was trying to break a defense.
I think Thomas.
Placing a ball where they couldn't freaking get it,
which would allow his tiny little legs to get him a double.
Yeah.
And you got to play with IQ when your legs make up one third of
your entire, less than one third of your entire body.
You do.
Tony.
Tony Gwen would like that too.
Real, real fucking placement hitter.
Tony Gwen was an absolute technician.
Yes.
Actually, I'm not sure it was Frank.
Okay.
Should we, could we say Frank Thomas was similar,
but or was he more of just the swinging?
He was supposed to be a slugger.
And, and in the steroid.
So Frank Thomas had the unfortunate role of like not fully
committing to steroids during the steroid era.
Any other era, he would have been lights out the best in the
league.
Yeah.
Because I'm going to have pictures of him.
He actually wasn't as big as I thought he was winning,
especially when he was younger.
No.
I mean, he juiced a little bit, but not to the rate that
like his peers did.
And how are you going to compete?
Like looking.
Okay.
Let's, let's take a different King Griffey Jr.
Right.
King Griffey Jr.
Mr. Natural.
Mr.
Natural wouldn't, wouldn't take the drugs.
Anything like that had as good as a career as you could hope
for from anyone in baseball and was still overshadowed by all
of the, the juice junkies.
Except for maybe Frank Thomas.
I think he was on par.
But, and maybe even a little bit above where, where Frank
stats were in that particular era.
But how are you going to, how are you going to look at
McGuire and Conceco and, you know, like.
Good.
McGuire, McGuire's 1987 card.
This dude is a stick.
And then during the home run era, McGuire rubbed his
bat on Goldberg's chest and he makes Goldberg look small.
Yeah.
You're like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Like that dude mate was fucking like bigger than Bill
Goldberg.
Roger Clemens.
Oh God.
Clemens was never a small guy, but he was a monster.
He went from a large pitcher to Shrek.
Yeah.
Like three weeks and his head tripled in size overnight.
It was insane.
Yeah.
There was a, during one of the World Series, he chucked
a ball at somebody's head and the dude got pissed.
And Clemens just fucking starts walking toward home just
and he just bulked up.
You're like, fuck you.
No.
Never mind.
106 miles an hour?
No.
I'm done.
I'm done bringing somebody else.
I'm not, I'm not playing today.
Clemens was my favorite pitcher back in the day too.
I'm a Cubs fan.
My favorite pitcher for a long time was Greg Maddox
until he went to the Atlanta Braves and actually did
something with his career.
We were all pissed off about that.
Yeah.
I was a Red Sox fan.
So back in the day it was Wade Boggs and Roger Clemens
were the bugs for the shit.
Wade Boggs was a badass.
He was.
He got beaned in the head.
I got to see George Brett and Bo Jackson play
for the Kansas City Royals.
And that was really cool.
You know, George Brett didn't even like baseball.
Yeah.
It was his like third sport.
Yeah.
He's like, he's like, because they asked him something
about the race and he goes, I don't know.
I don't follow baseball.
I don't even like it.
Fucking, you know, he's just really good at it
and fucking Bo Jackson was just a human phenom.
Like that guy was something else.
Like the fucking, the rockets that he could throw
from the track and knock people out at home
without a cutoff, man.
That thing was like a fucking, like a rail gun.
Just dooch.
Like Ichiro?
I'm better than Ichiro.
Better, better than Ichiro.
Faster than Ichiro with more distance.
And not to take anything away from Ichiro
and what he did for, I guess, the country of Japan,
really, as an ambassador to baseball,
probably can't be unparalleled.
But Bo Jackson was in a completely different class.
Like, I'm not, when I say that he threw a rail gun,
I'm talking about that ball had no arc to it.
He threw a straight laser from the fucking wall to home plate.
Dude's running from third could not make it home.
That dude was throwing.
I think I saw one time he threw one that was 136 miles an hour.
Just label.
What the fuck is that?
Yeah.
Absolute jampion.
And it was his second sport.
Yeah.
Run vertically up a wall to catch a baseball and throw a dude out
at home and he didn't even want to be playing.
He was just like, yeah, they drafted me.
I guess I'm doing this.
I don't know.
I remember the old commercials.
It was a football or baseball, both 5 million or 7 million both.
Well, hey, you know, everything was the both.
Yep.
And then they brought in they then they brought in Bo Diddley.
Yeah.
Legend Bo Diddley for the bow knows commercials.
Yeah.
The bow knows.
Yeah.
We got Thompson Dugnut at home.
These are the generic baseball players.
Those are the players names for when a video game company refuses
to license the MLB sports names.
That would have been cool to see Jordan play, although he was
not a good baseball player.
And Joe MF and cool Bruce Sutter.
You don't know Joe Cool is Steve.
No, I don't.
Maybe we met.
I don't know.
Joe Cool is a fucking legend in the 1A community.
Word.
Yeah.
Has one of the most memorable laughs you'll ever hear.
He laughs kind of like Brandresher.
No, I grew up a Cubs fan in the 80s and I was born that way.
I can't help it.
I'm not apologetic for it or anything.
I'm not sorry.
This is how it is.
Yeah.
Bruce Sutter.
I'm not a Cubs fan, but when we got country cable.
So we WGN was one of the fucking stations that we got.
We didn't, which didn't make sense because you'd think we
should have got Minnesota twins, but nope.
We got, we got WGN and fucking.
So Cubs baseball.
It was I was watching Andre Dawson and Ryan Samberg and
fucking Greg Maddox and all those guys.
Yeah.
I remember watching Cubs as well in Minnesota.
On deputy rough.
I always like Damon Berryhill their catcher.
I really liked him.
Since I got a rough childhood.
You guys had.
No, man.
Because you had Harry Carey.
I grew up watching the Yankees.
I did get to see Harry Carey out of the deal.
So like I got to regularly hear Harry Carey.
Like that's in my, you know,
there's no, no better announcer in baseball than Harry Carey.
Yeah.
You might have had with the Yankees and you look a little
bit younger.
So I'm guessing that was during the Moneyball era.
Oh yeah.
I mean, yeah, I was.
What year were you guys?
I mean, I stopped watching baseball.
87 when when we were young.
I wasn't even born.
For rookies, like the seminal year for rookies was 87.
Like in the 85 to 87, all the fucking killer players,
like 87 there, the rookie list in 87 was ridiculous.
You had guys like Will Clark and Mark McGuire
and fucking Jackson.
So then I'm catching them at their peak and basically
10 something years later.
Sports Illustrated for kids.
Sports Illustrated for adults.
Sports Illustrated swim suit edition.
We had all the sports, all the dishes.
Sandberg was awesome.
That dude, he would have, he was,
if he wasn't stuck in the Cubs all those years,
because the Cubs did suck back then.
We had two televisions in our living room.
There was always a baseball game on one of
the smaller TVs that was higher up on the entertainment center.
My family's a baseball family,
and they're all baseball fanatics.
And until my dad's generation,
like for like three generations,
they're in the baseball hall of fame,
and my great uncle Paul played for the Cardinals.
Like, so it was all about baseball.
I don't watch it.
I do listen to the giants when I'm out driving,
because it's the only thing usually that's decent on the radio.
So I do listen to giants baseball on the radio.
Which I think is more fun than watching it on TV for some reason.
Yeah, I stopped watching when I stopped playing.
I got real bored with it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I sucked at baseball.
And I sucked at basketball.
And I grew up in Indiana.
And those are like the two things that disqualify you
from being a resident of the state going forward.
I'm real good at baseball,
but I am probably twice as bad as Steve at basketball.
Well, I don't know.
Steve's got a worse gangster limp than I do.
Right.
Prior to the falling off the roof and breaking my leg,
I eventually got decent at basketball.
But that was only through understanding of physics.
I had to break my shit on a BMX bike and a skateboard a lot
before I understood basketball.
I don't know if that makes any sense or not.
Oh, damn.
Contrarian's best friend's uncle was Joe DiMaggio.
That's fucking crazy.
Nice.
My dad's baseball coach was Carl Erskine,
who was a World Series pitcher for the Brooklyn Dodgers.
And then the Los Angeles Dodgers,
the first couple of years that they moved and expanded.
And he struck out Joe DiMaggio.
So Erskine was an E?
E-R-S-K-I-N-E, yeah.
There's an Erskine Avenue in Brooklyn, New York,
named after Carl Erskine,
because he was the closing pitcher during that 1955
Boys of Summer Miracle Freakin' Yankee,
or sorry, Dodgers World Series year,
played with Jackie Robinson during the year of integration
and stuff like that.
Really cool guy.
He told me that Carl Erskine did.
My dad passed away the same year
that his college baseball team was getting inducted
into the college World Series Hall of Fame.
And Erskine was there,
and I was there in place of my dad,
who had passed away like a month before or something like that.
And so I'm sitting at the table with Coach, right?
He was fucking crazy.
And Coach Erskine is telling me about
when he retired from baseball,
he went home, and home was my hometown,
Anderson, Indiana,
and they gave him a job at a bank.
They were like, hey, you're vice president of this bank now.
And he's like, okay, I don't know anything about banking.
They're like, you don't have to.
You just have to call your baseball friends
and convince them to put their money here.
He's like, well, I don't know how I'm gonna do that,
but all right, yeah, thanks for the job, whatever.
And he shakes the phone tree a little bit.
Hey, does anybody want to park their money in my bank?
There was a guy who raised his hand.
He said, yeah, I would love to put all of my money
in your, nobody's ever heard of this town in the Midwest bank
where nobody can fucking find it.
And that man was Carl Erskine's mortal rival, Willie Mays.
Willie Mays was going through a very nasty divorce
and hid all of his money in Carl Erskine's
nobody's ever gonna try to find it here bank.
That's hilarious.
That initial investment allowed the bank to go,
oh, hey, we can give you a home loan.
Oh, hey, no, we've got substantial funds backing us now.
Yes, we can't.
Oh, you want to open up a grocery store?
Great, attract a repair shop.
We need one of those.
Here's some more of Willie Mays' money that we can dole out.
If you don't pay it back, we'll break you,
but, you know, yeah.
And so in the, I guess, late 50s, early 60s,
it was, and it wasn't just Willie Mays,
but he was the guy that I got told the story about.
It was baseball players hiding their money
from their ex-wives through Carl Erskine's bank
that allowed for a little bit of prosperity in the community,
which, you know, is the true American dream.
So Willie Mays related to Billy Mays?
They don't think so.
Okay.
But yeah, yeah, the say, hey, kid said, hey,
I think I'm going to hide my money
from my ex-wife in your bank.
That's beautiful.
It is great.
There's a lot of, there's a lot of Masonic oddities
in the baseball, the baseball field.
Was it Ruth and Aaron?
Aren't they like twins or something,
or like brothers or something like that in the Bible?
Ruth is a descendant of Aaron.
And in baseball, Aaron was a descendant of Ruth.
Okay. So they were actually related even in real life.
Well, it's unsubstantiated,
but yeah, there's a rumor that they're cousins,
because the whole rumor around Babe Ruth
was that he was half-black.
Yeah.
And he was too light-skinned for the Negro leagues,
but for a long time, too dark-skinned
for Major League Baseball.
And it was only when,
I think the Red Sox picked him up first
before he became a Yankee.
Yup. That's why that's the curse of the Babe.
Oh, the curse. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
The Red Sox picked him up first,
got rid of him because he was too dark to play for him.
The Yankees picked him up,
and there's the curse of the Bambino.
Yup.
But yeah, the rumor was Babe Ruth
half-black and third or more cousin
to Hank Aaron.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, because there's something I remember reading
about how the pitchers, the accuser,
and because Ruth was started off
his career as a pitcher,
he couldn't hold the home-run record
because the accuser couldn't hold the home-run record,
so eventually it had to be his brother Aaron,
or I guess it would be his brother,
technically, if they were both black,
his brother Aaron, who took the home-run record.
Yeah, I remember hearing a story
about how Ty Cobb wouldn't pitch
or hit from, wouldn't pitch to Babe Ruth
and wouldn't swing a bat if Babe Ruth was pitching
because Ty Cobb was that committed to the white race.
No shit.
I'm not going to let anyone who may be a darky
pitch to me, and I'm not going to pitch to them.
That's wild.
Huh, yeah.
Baseball, man.
America's best time, right?
History's up in it.
Or it was.
I quit watching in the 90s when they had that strike.
And even back then, it was like...
I remember, I looked and they were complaining,
and minimum wage for baseball back then
was $250,000 a year.
And I thought I was doing pretty good
making fucking like $1250, $13 an hour at the time.
I was making like $500 a week,
like $30,000 a year or something like that.
And then I was like, I used to do all my chores
that I had to get done for the day
and then ride my bicycle five miles into town
just to fucking practice to play baseball
and then ride back and then get all my chores done
for the night.
And basically that's all I did the whole day
just so I could fucking practice to play baseball.
And you're getting paid a quarter of a million dollars
on the nothing end.
That wasn't counting guys like Don Manningly
or Roger Clemens or any of those guys during that era.
That was the nobody's.
I'm like, what are you guys crying about?
And I quit watching baseball.
I was like, fuck that.
That was all you could...
If you were trying to play in college,
like I played a little bit in college,
you had to play all year round basically
while you were in high school,
while you were in middle school, high school.
My whole life was baseball.
I mean, I got played other sports in high school too,
but it's like as soon as basketball was done
right back to baseball.
Yeah.
Yeah, we get that.
That's the official narrative,
but there was a rumor back then
is what Steve's referring to,
like a conspiracy.
And I did say unsubstantiated.
Yeah, I did say unsubstantiated.
Even if it's not true,
it's like a Masonic lodge.
I mean, we all also know
that Richard Geer didn't put a gerbil in his butt,
but we all heard it.
And I don't think...
Marilyn Manson's floating rib?
Yeah, yeah.
Which, you know, especially when you hear that as a teenager,
you're like,
that's commitment to sucking your own dick.
It really is, man.
It really is.
It's commitment.
No, and Ted Krasinski,
I understand.
I do.
I had a couple of different, what, multiple sports,
but like a couple of primary sports,
where as soon as one season was over,
the other one began,
and what was supposed to be off-season
never really existed.
And you're just...
you're kind of always
in the zone.
Yeah.
I think there's even that wild story
about Doubleday inventing baseball,
and he also shoots one of, like, the first bullets
at one of the...
Oh, yeah.
I can't remember what the...
what battle, which is obviously not...
and it's just nonsense.
Yeah.
And yeah, baseball's fairly obviously
Masonic.
And yeah, I used to also...
I played baseball in the summer,
and I played football in the fall,
and I basically exclusively played football
just to get in shape for wrestling.
Because even after baseball
and football, wrestling was going to hurt.
Like...
People don't realize that wrestling
is a whole different fucking thing.
I wrestled
in junior high,
and then in high school
it was
football and soccer and hockey.
And then I
stopped playing football
my
junior year and switched
to track, because it was
a way easier off-season.
And
I got to do, like,
twice my normal
workout routine, because I was doing
shot put and discus and shit like that.
And so it was, like,
way more focused on
strength training
than speed training.
It was cool, because in soccer
all you do is fucking run.
In hockey, most of what you do
is conditioning.
Like, you do a lot of, you know,
individual skill work
and shit like that in position play.
Hockey seems hard.
Mostly, yes.
You've got to be able to have gas
in the tank
for all of it.
There are some of the really big
name fucking players that are like
the Iron Men, especially back in the
day when we were younger.
They would play fucking 50 minutes
of just balls to the wall.
Fucking.
Like, I don't even know
how that's
like the abs, the abs had
like six players that were all
putting in like 50 fucking minutes on hockey.
You're like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
And you're, you know,
it's because
you starting at the age of
like 10
started waking up
at four o'clock in the morning
and diving into the bottom of a pool
to pull a 20 pound weight off
of it and swim back to the top
with it over your head
and throw it over the side of the pool
and then you went right back down.
And so that's why they could do that shit
because they try to kill you
from the time that you're a very young
man.
I feel like the skating would be the hardest
in my opinion.
Having the gas tank,
having the gas tank to be able to skate
is way more important
than
functionally standing up on skates.
Anybody could do that.
And it's not like figure skates.
Figure skates are like razors.
Ice hockey skates are like this fucking
one.
They're pretty easy to stand up on
and maneuver around on.
You can walk around off the ice
on them because they're very thick.
It's not like a figure skating.
One of the first things they teach you to do
on skates is to learn how
to skate backwards.
I remember learning how
to skate backwards and turn
backwards before
being taught how to
skate and turn forwards.
And
it's just
getting your body used to the movement
and then after that
it's muscle memory
and conditioning becomes like the primary
thing that you need to work on.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
And you watch hockey for
for very long durations
those guys are just zipping back and forth
as fast as you can fucking go.
Like and smashing
into each other all the time.
Like that is a hardcore sport.
We didn't have a hockey team
and that's why I didn't play hockey.
You have to have the ice rink.
Yeah.
That's an expensive thing for certain towns.
We didn't even have
where I'm from
the town can either afford a basketball team
or it can afford a wrestling team.
Those are the two options.
And so some towns
put their money in wrestling.
Sometimes towns put their money in the basketball.
I was in a town that put the money
in the basketball and I was a wrestler.
So fucking
like we didn't even have a wrestling room
or anything that the stage
the bat where the basketball
players had the whole gym.
We were we wrestled on the stage
above the gym. And so like if one
of us got rolling too hard you got thrown
through the curtains and out into the basketball court.
It was horrible.
What was the drop on that
from the stage to the basketball?
Like at least five feet.
Yeah.
And they had all
the chairs would go under the stage
to have the pull out.
The rollers to hide everything
under the stage.
Number 42
Jackie Robinson.
Have they made the definitive Jackie
Robinson movie yet?
42 right?
I think that was the name of the movie I mean.
Yeah. I think there's been a few movies
about Jackie Robinson.
No Kirby Puckett.
It needed to do the Minnesota
Twins World Series.
Well he was a legend in Minnesota
but
outside of Minnesota I don't
know
obviously any team would have loved to have had him
but it's not like he had the
real
draw everywhere else.
And Ken Griffey Jr. hasn't even gotten a movie
so I mean.
Oh well.
He got a video game named after him.
He had the best damn video game
for baseball ever.
I was very upset that they never made another one.
I stopped playing video games after that.
Yeah.
I stopped playing video games
really
in like
junior high.
Yeah I was even before then.
Yeah.
I didn't get to stick my finger
inside a female until I was in seventh grade.
And that's about the moment
that I was like video games suck.
Yeah.
Those are lame.
Yeah.
Nintendo 64 is the last
serious thing I did with video games.
For a very brief period
when I attended college
I played some
like the first couple of Grand Theft
autos
FIFA.
I used to rock motherfuckers in FIFA
on like
the original PlayStation 2
that was like the end of it.
Yeah it's a long winter in Minnesota.
There was
Nintendo.
There was one called Tecmo Bowl.
Oh yeah.
Great fun.
I remember
I was a fucking kid
dude I couldn't have been more than like 11 or 12
we were up in Wisconsin
visiting my cousin
and it was
the Nintendo baseball game
and I kept kicking
his ass
and he kept accusing me
of cheating
and I'm like
play with my controller.
Like whatever
you're just bad at this.
Understand that you suck at this
and I am better than you
at this game.
Internalize it you're not good at this
and he couldn't take it
and so I'm
12 and like my 9 year old little cousin
is trying to fight me
over Nintendo
and so
now I've got like a Nintendo
cord wrapped around his neck
and I'm beating him over the head with the controller
and so now we're all in trouble.
and all that had to happen was
you to just take your fucking licks
kid
but you couldn't because it was your game
right so you thought that you were the only person that
yeah good times
good times.
And that's why they went to wireless controllers.
I guess
then people just chucked the remote at you
and my brother probably
did that a few times chucked the
wireless remote at each other.
Oh yeah
it's not it's not Nintendo until
there's a rage quit
being thrown feelings are hurt
you're uninvited from asleep over
now
my brother got so mad at me
he hit me upside the head
with a fucking dog bone
in a sock like prison style
because I took
and I fucking
we were having a duck hunt
shoot off and I stuffed toilet paper
in the gun and when it was
his turn I stuffed toilet paper
in the front of the gun so he missed all the duck
light gun yeah the light doesn't hit
that's a good trick
it was so fucking mad
coach
co-op as soon as we got four
controllers we could play Mario Party with the family
but we had a family of five
so it'd be one person sitting out
yeah it was just me and my brother
and back then it was you got
duck hunt and uh
Super Mario Brothers
and Nintendo was like
fucking all of our years
presents put together
like my birthday and Christmas
and Easter and
and fucking
you name it
it was all smushed together
and it was my brother and I both and it was a Nintendo
did you rent
video games to try them out first
no I lived
at that point in time when we got it
I was living in Longmont Colorado
and
I was actually making money
and I was selling
newspaper subscriptions for the bolder daily camera
and I made quite a bit of money doing that
and
I see Steve Nodness over there
and
my
there was a pawn shop that had
used video games in it so
I just go in there
and buy fucking used video games out of the
pawn shop
and Metallica fucking
tapes
there was a furniture store
that would sell cartridges
they weren't really a used
video game place they weren't going to compete with
Funko land but they
they had a display and there was
under the display they had the used cartridges
from all the systems
yeah that's just
a plain old pawn shop
but
I
I had my own money so
whatever
you know
I made a lot selling newspaper
subscriptions back then
I'd go to Colorado University and sell
subscriptions
and for like the first 50 of them I only
made 250 a subscription
but after I sold
50
then I would get I think 350
of subscription
and then at the next 50
it was for it was 450
subscription it topped out at $5
and
there was some days I was selling
like 40 subscriptions in a day
I remember during
college sign up week at C
one week my check my
check was so fucking big my fucking
stepdad he's like you want to trade
checks like no
it was hard
it
you maintain that subscriber list when they
needed to re-up
see after a while we stopped
when we stopped playing games pretty
early we started playing
organized backyard
baseball and organized
we had another league called hellpot
which actually made a newspaper
local newspaper article
was written up about it which if you
look it up now you probably still can find
my picture and it was like there's a little
child playing
at hellpot we used to use
a wooden bat that was like this big
and tennis balls and you just
whip the tennis balls from about 30 feet away
as hard as you could but it was a
fully enclosed tennis court with no nets
it's a shorter bat
yeah with a shorter bat and then backyard
baseball was at my house and we had
like a bigger backyard with an actual
fence with a corked wiffle ball bat
tennis ball
we did cork ball
which the baseball
was like this fucking big
and then the bat is like this big
also
smaller than a pickle ball
for like pickup games
and shit like that we'd take the
super thin wiffle ball bat
the yellow one not the red one
that's what we corked
and yeah we corked that and then we'd
use a racket ball
yeah that would suck to hit
with a racket ball
it was so bad dude
I had
every
color in existence
in a bruise that was like
neon purple
around the outside at the middle
and then it just went
through various shades of like
blue to yellow right on my
hip I got drilled
Kyle Robinson that fucking
son of a bitch
this kid
I mean
nailed me dude
and I went down like you punch
me in the face
I went down quick
getting drilled with the
freaking racket ball dude that was
mean I don't know why we did that to each other
because we could
yeah
there weren't lawsuits
right this was
before parents got litigious
that's true
dude and
like pain was not
really a deciding factor on doing
something or not doing it
like that's gonna hurt
yeah always for a second
hey
yeah
everyone was so amped up
just for the they took it so serious
like it was
no one cared about getting hurt
they want to win
no reason there's no
we got nothing
that's strange
I got some statistics here saying that
84% of 11 year olds
aren't allowed to leave their street
53%
can't leave their front yard
92% of 14 year olds
can't leave their neighborhood
kids are just
kids are just staying
kids longer and longer because of this
it's very interesting
yeah
like I'm from the latchkey
generation
like my parents were like
yeah there's food in the house
what the fuck you want
and if they were in the house they're like
you should leave
go somewhere else
go to the park in the neighborhood
meet some friends
hang out
steve's on mute
you're on mute steve
we got him
is my mic still working too by the way
the TV says we don't have to care
where you are until 10pm
yep
so we're not checking until
the TV says do you know
where your kids are
and then we're gonna be like
oh shit good question steve
hey
and if you don't shout back you're in trouble
yeah
and also if you show up
too soon before that time
you're in trouble extra trouble
what the fuck are you doing here early
yeah
there's a five minute window where you should
be arriving in
and in that five minute window
we're gonna tell you we love you
we don't want to hear about whatever you were doing
brush your teeth and go to bed
right right but if you're five minutes early
you're five minutes late boy is there
gonna be hell to pay
but yeah as long as you showed up
at like 10.03
right the celebrities came
on do you know where your children are
if you managed
to sneak back into the house
and be into your bed at 10
you you were kind of good
you were in the clear
walk around and locate all the streetlights
and
see that there are still some of the
original style of the halogen
bulbs lights that aren't the leds
in some neighborhoods
and I think it was
maybe a night or two before the solstice
so you know the longest day
with the most sunlight
and watching that streetlight
come on before the sun headset
and all the leds have
certain timers so they all come on at the same time
but there are certain streetlights
that would turn on at a different time
so you kind of time them and say well
that streetlight hadn't turned on yet
so you'd have sort of this window before
all of the streetlights turned on
that you need to be home by
and you've got to measure time that one
I see that's a good scam
you could get more minutes
in your setup
or play that way
you could run home
at the very last minute
and ride your bike quick
and you'd be still technically
safe
because those games
of hide and seek would
go on real late
manhunt
goes to the graveyard
that's what we call a manhunt
we could play in the backyard of flashlights
after the sun headset
we play ghost in the graveyard mostly
is it like same thing?
ghost in the graveyard
except for you're a ghost
in the graveyard
so how do you play?
well you go and hide
and then
if they find you
then you have to try and tag them
before they get back to the base
yeah
that's similar
yeah
they usually involve tackling
one of your friends over the headstone
yeah
those are the days
general destruction
God
and that's what gets me wise
especially like on the debate panels
people are like
can you believe what these kids do?
like do you remember being a kid?
right
like don't get me wrong
I'm not saying don't nerf it
and try and stop them
but also don't act like they're the first kids
to act like little fools
I feel like there are kids that don't do much of anything nowadays though
like dude 90% of what I did
from fucking like 13 to 19
was illegal
in some way
like if I was a parent
I'd be happy that
if my kids were out playing
like manhunt or hide and seek
in the middle of the night
I feel like no one
kids I know do anything like that anymore
that's how you learn about city ordinances
by discovering
yeah
and urination slash defecation
and public tickets
oh
which will
by the way give people
on a sex offender list
yeah that was when I was a kid
when I was young that was not a thing
yeah now it is
now if you get arrested for peeing in public
they'll give you an
indecent exposure charge
and sex offender
list you
I remember when I was young
fucking you'd regularly see
dads pulled off to the side of the highway
and they'd have a son
that they're standing next to
cause he can't figure out
you know
so you gotta show him how to pee if you pee
then he's like oh well that's how we pee outside
okay well I can do this
yeah dad's doing it
yeah
and because it's like a four-year-old
fucking kids got his pants
around his ankles with his bare ass
hanging in the wind
he didn't fucking know no better
little fucking wiener wagon
and you're like god damn it I gotta block this fucker
from all oncoming traffic
so fuck yeah good times
good times
I heard Nick Mullen
say that the ultimate
troll as an adult
a three-dimensional troll
is to go into
a public bathroom
as a grown ass man
and just drop your pants
and make everybody
that's peeing look at your bare ass
that's galaxy brain move
right there
absolutely
it's like shitting your pants on a flight
peaking in the future
it really is
that's amazing
you really gotta do it at one of those
fucking ones with the trough
of course
we also don't even know about the fucking trough
like there's some fucking male bathrooms
where it's not even a urinal
it's literally just a trough
that like especially in bars
where I'm from
there'd be a trough that could have six guys
stand in shoulder to shoulder
just fucking draining it
yep
and you're making small talk
yeah
did you
see what he was doing out there
I did
it's weird when they have those troughs
that look like sinks
and then you hear people doing both
hello week bro is your prostate okay
it's like restaurant steel equipment
and there's a big sink
and there's a preparation area
and then people just walk up and there's ice there
and what do you do
people are doing both and it's just like what the fuck
drop your trousers and let it out
dude I was in
numerous sports
I was in the army I was in prison
like I don't care at this point
how many people have seen my dick
you know fucking
yummy dudes I fucking had conversations with
while we're completely naked
like I you know I quit
caring a long time ago
like oh he's got a dick
wow me too cool
if you're not over it by seventh grade
gym class you're never gonna be over it
and then it's always gonna be
a weird fixation and you're probably
gonna run for political office
yeah there's that there's that captain
fantastic movie where this
dude standing there naked in this couple
walks by like oh my god he looks up he's like
yeah it's a dick half the people
in the world have one
it's just not rare
yeah we're super uptight in this country
and I don't understand it
like the obsession
that they have now with who can go into
what bathroom
that is fucking wild
like
dude it's just pooping and peeing
everybody does it
it's just a natural function
why are we making a giant ordeal about this
like
seriously fucking in Europe
when I was over there
there's parts like in Amsterdam where
literally there was just a hole
in the ground and you could either
squatted over it or pissed into it or whatever
and people just were courteous
enough not to look at you while you were doing that
right
or you know
jealous enough
to not make eye contact with you
while you were doing that
actually you should make eye contact
eyes up here motherfucker
my eyes up here
my eyes aren't down there
they're not
I know it's pretty
it seems like people
just started getting really pissed when
like boys were going into girls
bathrooms at schools
and then everyone took everything
else out of
I mean is there a
an uptick
in girls getting
assaulted in bathrooms
I can't even tell you
I know I heard that one story
where the
with that father
whose daughter supposedly got
you know
I'm not saying that it doesn't
happen but I mean I'm sure that that also
it's always probably always has happened
yeah it's always happened
so that's what I'm asking is there an uptick
you know is that something that
and again
it fucking yes Ben
the fucking bathroom
again this is just
a human using the bathroom
we all do it bunches of
times every day why are we
making an ordeal about this
just use the fucking bathroom
just just go to the bathroom
the difference has been
when men who think
their women have an agenda
they go into
that's the
difference like
a random
kid to grown adult
that just has to
go pee and is super
fucking uncomfortable and embarrassed about the fact
that they're in the wrong bathroom
to do it they're not causing
any trouble and they're trying to get
the fuck out of there as fast as they possibly
can a
he she
with a beard has a
very different motivation
for they're trying to prove
a point
and it's a different set of
circumstances and should be treated
different that that
very well could be
that could be well if
people didn't want to be made fun of
they shouldn't have woke up with a small dick
spin I don't know what to tell you
I'm sorry
I mean it's a fact
I'm sorry
I gotta bring that big dick energy everywhere you go
this is why we don't include
the small
hats in with the white guys because that just brings down
our average dick size
Chaney
Chaney says I thought the stall
in the men's room was four
tiny dicks
actually
it's too high
you would think so
if your dicks that small you can't get it over
the door with the arc
no matter how much you lean back
so we
we actually used the
stalls for pooping
yeah
in which honestly men's rooms are much cleaner
than women's rooms women do
some really weird shit in the bathrooms
it's vile
yeah if you've ever worked
everywhere they're everywhere they go
you ever had to work in a restaurant
you had to clean both bathrooms
that's what I'm saying anybody that's had to clean
both bathrooms at any business
I've never heard anybody say that
anything else but the women's
fucking restroom is always like
did somebody fucking have a ritual
in here
why the fuck is this happening right now
like
yeah
yeah that's insane
well and spin
the handicaps stall
for people
who aren't
mobily enhanced
with wheels and a motor
for the rest of us
non-mutant
folk
the handicaps stalls are for cocaine
hmm
that's that's what they're for
occasionally sex
although
although it's gotten much rougher
since they quit having the backs on the toilet
all these new toilets without the backs
because I don't know where you're supposed to break up
your weed or snore you cope
that's just yeah like what the fuck are we doing
here right now
yeah so if you're not
you don't have a set of wheels or anything
like that you're
unfortunately confined to your
own two stupid legs
the handicaps stall
is definitely for drugs
I mean
it's not so bad now that most weed
seedless but back in the day when you had
like fucking Mexican brick
weed that had like the tiny crushed black
seeds in and you wanted to get all those outs
or you know you had just in the toilet was so
nice
wipe them right there yeah
yeah
uh
for anyone under the age of 35
this is what life used to be like
before the government fucked everything up
yeah
Jamie says I thought the handicaps stall was huge
so ladies could go in it and pairs
what are you like stack up
on there you fucking weirdo
what's wrong with you
why would you do it you're watching each other
you freak
I did do that still I believe
it's still a thing
that's out of pocket
in prison
where the toilet is
is one of the only areas
and I'm talking about minimum security prison right now
in minimum security the toilet
is one of the only areas
where the only areas cameras don't see
so that's where everybody smoked
and there's no fucking
dividers or anything it's literally
just three toilets
on a little pedestal
and the camera doesn't see in that
direction and fucking
so you'll be sitting there pinching one off
and all of a sudden doodle squat down
next to you is heads like an inch from your
fucking knee fucking starts puffing on a
cigarette you're like
alright then would give me a drag
yeah
disturbing this is part of why I don't
give no shits about fucking going to the bathroom
with you know none of that
I have no shame in it whatsoever
like you know
like the things I've been through it's like
no I'm just going to the bathroom
just don't look at it
I get to be in one where there was
any cat litter
I don't know if any of you guys
have experienced that yet
no
it's what
cat litter
oh you're going to
like you're going to the bathroom in the cat litter
or there's cat litter
there's cat litter in the bathroom
for those who identify as cat
oh
wow
it's not for a cat
not for cats
no Michael
I don't know I've heard this
might have been happening in a few schools
so I mean I haven't been to school
in some years now
so I don't
I was just wondering if any of you have heard
whether or not this
I would believe it
I mean
isn't this how you
get diseases
having your own
your own fucking
PA and fucking homeboy
like in the open fucking
on a litter box
order absorbing
litter
mm-hmm
they clumped
sounds like a really bad idea
they probably flushed it down the toilet
after they
scooped the clump
see chain
cats don't do that
you're not a real cat
this is a real cat
right here
he's a blue cat
yeah the furries thing
is weird as fuck
these people that think that
they want to identify as an animal
that's weird as fuck
I've seen it I've seen it around
you know I'm in California
I don't see it often but when I go
to the big city you occasionally see some
real weird shit
Brian and I we went to San Francisco
like a few months ago
and we're just like the whole time Brian
are like
the fuck
there were some kids
doing quadriptotics
or I forget what it's called
but it's like when you
when you're an adult
or a teenage kid
and you dress up like a horse
and you go hopping around
on all four feet
like you're doing a
that fucking horse thing
yeah there's that conversation
was it the
what's it called
renaissance fair there was
some kids dressed up like animals
and they were doing that
thought it was odd for renaissance fair
but
I guess it was renaissance and fantasy fair
yeah you gotta watch
which ones you go to
there's a whole bunch of different ones
there's also one for fairies
that one's real weird you don't want to go to
that one
there's one for pirates
that one's pretty big
there's one for viking
up here
there is a viking one
up in washington
there's a viking festival somewhere
in minnesota where it's a weekend
where everyone's viking
they're doing viking activity
like the football team
sports dance
yeah
yeah there are cosplay circle jerks
there's a fucking
Norwegian festival
in Iowa
that's pretty cool
and like the
yeah there's a danish one
in viking where Christy's from
she's danish
that's why I was saying to Howard
yeah I also gotta like the Danes
they're
they're diminutive
but loving
people
are they all that little
diminutive
not all that little
at least the one's related to Christy are
that might
she might have been like a dwarf
a danish dwarf family
it could be fairyland
danish dwarven days
Sarah tomato did real kick ass in vegas
and posted pictures of that
and fucking everybody was like
look at how tiny she is
and she's like two or three inches taller
than my wife
has a WNBA
once a year Christy goes out in public
and bumps into somebody that's
shorter than her and then she talks
about it for like the next three days
get that address become a pen pal
yeah she automatically likes them
she's like this is my friend
this person's shorter than me
they're my friend
that's what I'm talking about right there Chaney
some of the stuff
truly makes me feel like I'm from the 1950s
in my day girls were the ones doing
makeup and men fist fought
dudes are such girls now
and girls are
fucking
they aren't manly
but all the negative
things that dudes were doing
they picked that shit up
very susceptible
well part of it's our own damn fault
because girls
girls still
have a natural drive to
be mothers, be in a family
and things like that
and so they want to conform to what guys want
and when guys started fucking watching porn
all the time girls of course turned into
basically that thing
you know that became
highly desirable like
when I was in high school like it was a legend
that some girl had sex with some guy
you know and everybody talked
about it consistently
like fucking now you're like
oh she's 12 she does anal already
well it also became like
the whatever wave feminist
type goals was
to be more sexually
yeah the sexual liberation
yeah so I mean
and I guess being more
right-brained females maybe
are more
emotionally susceptible to that sort of
argument
that's the only thing I could think of
Howard says
Howard says girls are Madonna fans
they just want to have fun
I would have never met Howard for a Madonna
fan
oh shit that's not even a
Madonna song is it
yeah isn't that
Cindy Lopper that's right
Madonna did sing it
never heard that song in my life
don't even know who Cindy Lopper is
you know who Cindy Lopper
is
I know what Loppers are
they're these big blades and they cut
things off you know Cindy Lopper don't
lie I am not
admitting to that one
not too sure
not on a Tuesday night
on Tuesday
no way
not on an Uncle Ted talks
Cindy Lopper
you listen to
opposition to
Mariah Carey
one of the Christian people
Amy Grant
is that one of them
Amy Grant
I don't know any of these people
Kate Bush is crazy
Kate Bush
she was the one that
covered the placebo
that old friend with her
and the cocktail twins
that shit's weird as shit
yeah
music
I throw like a girl kind of with my left arm
my left hand throws are weird
Savannah Banana has brought in a
woman to pitch in their game
Kelsey Whitmore
the Queen of Entrances
have you guys been catching the Savannah
Banana games
I don't know what a Savannah
Banana game is
they are baseball players
is that that doofy baseball league
that's like silly as shit
that's the what the intro
the very beginning of the intro is isn't it
where they're dancing
I've seen that on
YouTubes a few times
yeah they do stream the games
to the YouTubes
all of them
yeah it's like Harlem Globetrotters
baseball yeah that's a good way to put it
it's gotta be boring
it's a long time to get some trick
I got trick
catch or something
Christ
lots of dancing is there singing too
that's an interesting observation
Cheney says and I can think of myself
doing it as I'm talking
even that men's voice do get
deeper as they're like getting into
something and women do that
thing
swing low
sweet cherry
butt
coming for to carry me home
fuck that I'm a Valkyries coming to get me
fucking
keep your fucking chariot
shit to yourself
mm-hmm I know we were talking
about hygiene and all these things
now have you guys heard about
the Minneapolis bath house ordinances
oh no
are they showing them down
no they
please explain
well there's a video that explains it
there's a lot of videos that are trying to
get into it
you guys had mentioned San Francisco
and bathrooms and things
so this is Fox 9 reporting
well the debate continues
over a Minneapolis bathhouse
ordinance that would one day legalize
venues once popular in the 1980
there's still a long way to go before that
happens the city council hearing
from residents today ahead of next
week's vote Karen Skullin sat in
on today's hearing and she's joining us live
from Minneapolis and Skullin
let's know what the discussion was about today
the discussion is about bath house
ordinances
yeah they called her Chris Minor
they called her the
the muse or something like
that she had like a special
name and they say that a lot of her songs
are hypnotizing
and they have all kinds of fucking crazy
fucking I can't remember it all
but lots of shit hidden in it
that fucking Kate Bush
her and the cocktail twins
Elizabeth Frazier
Kate Bush got a lot of attention
because their music was played in Stranger Things
so young people were introduced and by way of
Kate Bush
so was running up that hill originally
hers or I thought that was
a placebo song that they took from someone
else and then
or was she the original
that they took it from
I think Kate Bush recorded
the song first plus yeah
and then it went back to
Stranger Things and then they picked it up
to tiktok reels to play the songs
now young people
are discovering cocktail twins
strange phraseology
of using your vocal
chords as an instrument to sing
syllables that sound
like words that could just
be Latin names for butterflies
so we got Karen Skull in here
reporting live
this is the bath house ordinance
in Minneapolis maybe into
the Twin Cities of St. Paul
do you guys remember bath houses
in the 1980s
or have we forgotten why bath houses
you don't remember though
were you
drugged at the time
I don't think I've been to one
okay
yeah millennials
zoomers
are discovering bath houses again
or they want to
maybe I don't know
right well bath houses
and having sex at them used to be
legal
oh
relax
jesus christ
oh that's the entire
story
I walk away
for like five minutes
to take gomas out and then you guys
are sitting here like
purveying all this smut
what show am I on
I thought she'd come in with like
intercourse or something but she
Marcus did it Steve
Steve Marcus did it
I
did you tell everyone
ear muffs
muffs that's a different word
my goodness
yeah
well we were discussing
how there's a lack of public bathrooms
but I think
he didn't tell us even that it was going to be like this
he didn't tell us
I am appalled
yeah yeah
so are people at the public hearing
about the Minneapolis bath house ordinance
when you go down to the twin cities
are there public bathrooms
not really
we thought maybe this was going to be like truckers
fucking getting to take a shower for like a couple bucks
or something and
like that
Marcus didn't tell us that this was so degenerate
and smutty
are there showers available though
well
I mean that's part of the ordinance
figuring this out public hygiene
public shower
well currently
what is the ordinance in your city
about bath houses
and the legality
of having intercourse
in them
I'm assuming illegal
RCW 2476
all bath houses
must be within 25 feet
or more of a school zone
that's all I know
you do want the kids
you do want the kids to stay clean
yeah
after they go swimming and playing in the dirt
they go take a bath or a shower
right
this is tim wall's territory
for sure
oh it's the walls
okay
you guys ready to hear a little bit more of this
mm-hmm
I don't think it gets better
I don't know that it gets worse though
look angry about it
yes
very shriveled up
yeah
well now some council members
and some community members
want to repeal that ban
that was put in place in 1988
and they're at the very beginning stages
of making that happen
pause
if I have this correct
Minnesota queers
are going
hey look
magic Johnson doesn't have AIDS
why shouldn't we have bath houses
is that basically the gist
yeah
in Minnesota
people would never guess it
but the gay culture in Minnesota
is giant and has been since the 80s
at least
it's in Atlanta of the north
there's a place
called warring park in Minnesota
where they just gather
in mass and have sex in this fucking
park
and so
they want somewhere they can go
have group sex
with each others
but then they want everyone else to get their shots
and their boosters
yeah Wisconsin is the south
of the north
I'm not sure what Minneapolis St. Paul is trying to be
the San Francisco of the
Midwest
right
ding ding
even when I was in
just out of high school when I turned
21 when I was there
they have like six gay bars
in just the downtown of Minneapolis
and like in one of them
is the gay 90s which is like the biggest
biggest bar downtown
yeah I could never find a straight
bar in all of Minneapolis in St. Paul
they didn't exist
here's the city council
let me recommend a spot
then I don't know if it exists
or not but when I was
hanging out in Minneapolis we always
went to Palmer's
Palmer's was on the south side
it was right in the heart
of murderapolis
it was owned by
my buddy redneck josh's
friend
and his dad
and Palmer's
it was one of those spots where
like it's very
poorly lit on purpose
because if the lights were on you would
have to see
everybody else that you were hanging out
and drinking with and that wasn't
gonna help the
ambiance of the place at all
it's like a collective
mouthful of cheese
is yeah one of those places
where there's like six
maybe 17 teeth
total in the whole place
and you know
there's a
couple of pimps that are
hanging out in the corner maybe occasional
ladies of the evening
who came in to coordinate
business affairs
with their supervisor
and stuff like that
just in general kind of
a
rough establishment but one thing
it wasn't was rainbow flag
friendly
and I feel like
those particular dive bars
may be on their
last legs I don't know I haven't been
to an actual dive bar
for their pool table
fucking years
there was a pool table
it always had
it always had a crack head
on it
you always had to play
crack head for the pool table
look at Steve putting on airs
and shit over here
was that
said look at Steve putting on airs
and shit over here
what because I hang out at the fancy bars
yes
them highfalutin places
yeah man
straight bars
he's like
you look at this place
I don't even get tetanus from going
to the bathroom
it was one of those places for sure
where your shoes stuck
to the floor as you're walking
towards the bar
in many of those
always wear clothes toad shoes
boots or don't show up
so Minnesota
twins win the world series in 87
and 88 they close bath houses
so that related somehow
well he said it was because of the AIDS epidemic
which yeah
it was
in the late 80s early 90s
when they started for about five years in a row
they'd have some dude
that was distinctly gay
show up at the school and tell you how
he had AIDS
and how he got AIDS by being a complete
manslut with other men
and doing intravenous drugs
we didn't have that
because we had Ryan White
remember that kid
yeah
the kid he was like
a grade school kid
from Tipton, Indiana
and he was
the kid who quote-unquote
got AIDS from a blood transfusion
oh I do remember that
Ryan White
and that was like
made up
so we didn't even need
the whole gay scare thing
we got
you could get hurt
and go to the hospital
and get AIDS
you can't sit down on a toilet
because maybe somebody had an open cut
you can get AIDS
you can never go to a public bathroom
because they're all infested with AIDS
well this guy
at the end of it
after he told you how he got AIDS
and drawn it to the homosexuals
and the intravenous drug users
then at the end of it he'd be like
but guess what
we're having sex with girls too
and that means that she gets AIDS
which means that you get AIDS
and then everybody gets AIDS
that was the movie kids
remember that movie
was that a bug party
the fucking poor fucker
had sex one time and got AIDS
that's what they
showed us in that particular
well they showed us a lot of other things in that movie too
but that was one of them
yeah I keep a copy on VHS
so you can practice beating somebody
with skateboard trucks
don't want to show kids to my kids
but someday they'll be adults
and they can show to
I showed my children
the fucking NWA
straight out of Compton before I showed them kids
good question California
yeah so
bath houses
huh
that's interesting
that's the other thing that Minneapolis had a lot of
that I've never seen
except for
uh
New Orleans is the only other
city I've ever seen
such a collection of
fucking brothels
yeah and all fucking massage parlors
that are open at three in the morning
you know that are distinctly Asian
and shit like that
Minneapolis had fucking like
they had them everywhere
well what else is going on in Minneapolis
that they're bringing up a bath house ordinance
to get everyone's attention focused on
is there any way
that there's going to be unanimous support
to reconsider the ordinance
does it need unanimous support
do you license it
does it need
does it need unanimous support
the little apple is
there's a lot of
seems like operations
psychological
psychologically
being
being procured
out there
Minneapolis always had
an extreme homosexual
agenda
it always had the color divide
and it was always murdery as fuck
there was many murder back in the
80s and 90s
murderapolis man
where they developed some of the first supercomputers there too
so
very uh
weird
that was only because Iowa lacked the infrastructure
that's true
the guy who created the first supercomputer
was from Iowa and had to take it
to Minnesota because there was no existing
infrastructure
in the state of Iowa to help them develop
stinky paradox says
Muslims like bath houses
sure but only
to bugger people not to actually bathe
well that's basically what she said
right out the gate
yeah that's the distinction with the difference
yeah
they're not trying to get familiar with soap
just an 11 year old
yeah it sounded like the way this made it sound
is like this is like the sex tent
at fucking burning man
that's the focus
of the ordinance is
whether or not what happens
in the bath house can be allowed to have
bath house
without it being a crime
without it being criminal
it's wild how that's just becoming
more and more prevalent
so many different groups
like
it's just all over the place
and now Minneapolis is trying to just openly
but then again if they're
if the ordinance is to something
to give like the guys
I don't know if they still do that down in lowering park
like you didn't start walking
you didn't walk down in the park
once it got the crepuscular hours
you stayed away from the park
unless you wanted to
be involved in some gay sex
stuff
is that where the timid grappler goes
when it's not summertime
I don't think so
because that sounds too easy
to pray for the timid grappler
like the timid grappler would be in trouble
right yeah there's
some challenge there
that makes sense
so easy
yeah you don't need to bring your
your petroleum
jelly I guess
petrolatum
get all greased up so you can't get grabbed
pulled away
yeah
grappled
that's the secret technique
so you get really good at flag football
yeah
bath houses
no
and all this doesn't even
include
that there's a club called ground zero
that's down by there
that the club is literally just
based around S&M style sex
how do you know
when I was
when I was 21
I went in that fucking
circle
you think I'm not going to go check it out
I'll check anything out
once
wanted to hear the sound system
compared to other clubs
compared to any other ground zero
of course
not enough bass on the floor
there's people in cages
and people tied to the walls
getting whipped and shit
you're standing there drinking
rum and coke
you're like
that's crazy
and then my friend
I went to the bar to get a drink
and my friend Mark went upstairs
and on the way upstairs
there was a little neon pink upside down triangle
and this is
in the fucking early 90s
so all this gay symbolism and stuff
wasn't so well known
and Mark went upstairs
and I'm getting a drink and I lean over to the bar
and I was like hey
what's that upside down triangle there
that's the gay section
that's like
fuck it
Mark fucking all of a sudden
comes flying down the fucking stairs
I was like
hey Ben
I know it's been a minute since
I was up at the farm
and hanging out
and so for like half a second there
I forgot that you had like
chicken stick
teeny tiny fucking legs
and I thought that you would
like generated big floppy titties
for like half a second
and I was like what the fuck am I looking at
and I was like that's right
that's right
it's been fucking
rooster legs
not bad
this is how
this is how white I am
somebody last night
I was sitting there just like this with one
and they're like what's with the giant
phallus over ball
the fuck are we talking about
right now
that's my knee
getting too comfortable
and I wear in shorts it was hot as shit today
hey Ben
look I don't fault anybody for going
pants list on camera at any point
that was shocking
I was not prepared for that
the wearing shorts
wearing shorts
that about people
that's just egregious
I just obviously don't wear
shorts often
yeah
sunbathing privileges
well there's snakes
and ticks and all kinds of shit
that are gonna attach themselves
to your bare legs if you're walking around
outdoors on the foot
yeah why would you wear shorts
there's that as well but sunbathing
is privilege where the privileged people
are able to determine how much sun
your skin recedes or not
well I see I receive a whole bunch
right here
and right here
but as soon as you get up here
that it's distinctly not
I totally forgot
that you can get sunburn
in the fog
and we were hanging out
at Marin Headlands the other weekend
all day
and yeah
yeah we got a little crispified
and I was like oh shit that's right
some of the worst sunburn I've gotten
was spending a day
on the lake it was a cloudy day
and we were just
walking in the lake we're jet skiing
getting pulled behind the boats with whatever
that's definitely contrarian
my legs do occasionally get sun
my butt is much wider
than all that
I actually glow my wife
when I run around naked at night
can follow me no problem
guys right there
see them running across the forest
glowing in the moonlight
the full moon
light
it's her favorite time
I do start on photos
so for the first year
for the first year ever
they're going to set off fireworks
in front of the Golden Gate Bridge
I saw that
saw that
which that's a moist area
I don't see where there's really any danger in that
it's not going to be a problem
or anything like that
they're
they're also like
wrapping it in some elevated terror threat
sort of nonsense
but
it would be
I haven't figured out which side of the bridge
it's on yet
and I don't want to
try to compete
with all of the people that are going to
show up for that
but I think we've got
I do
the canardic knees
it's a silent end
it's some knobby ass knees
I do
well
they're going for real live
Chinese fireworks display
yeah float
sending a barge out for a platform
to launch them off of
and control that bridge
they lose control of that bridge
all the time
well they lose control of a bay bridge
all the time
it's not the golden gate
there's three bridges
the golden gate that goes north
into marine county
the bay bridge that goes to Oakland
and then there's the Richmond bridge
that goes from marine county
over to the
the top side
which now the funny thing is
the Dunbarton bridge doesn't count
for anyone for anything for any reason
which the funny thing now is
all these bridges have
one-way tolls
and not all of them are in the same way
so if you want to waste your time
you can literally get out of
tolls by going yes you can
by going one direction out of one
and then only going in the other
direction on the other one
if you're south of San Francisco
you can go around the bay
through Oakland
and take the Richmond bridge
for free
over to Marin
and then you can take the golden gate bridge
for free
into San Francisco
wait no it's out of San Francisco
out of San Francisco
so you don't have to
yeah
so you can drive up to San Francisco
for free from like Santa Cruz
as long as you stay on 19th
and then you can cross
the bridge going north
for free
but they get you going
back across
the Richmond bridge
unless you want to go all the way up
to
like Novato
and take 37 down
and around and then you can get there
without paying
they make you freaking work for it
I'm the guy
I knew a Cambodian couple
that used to do this
they would literally
so they didn't have to pay the tolls
throughout the week
and they cost them like an extra hour a day
but that's the way
you play Metallica
and you get the discount
anything to save a dollar
the golden gate isn't shut down
at all
California
very romantic the fireworks over it
and the prison in the background
so nicely lit up
and it's not just Alcatraz
it's Alcatraz and
San Quentin
yeah San Quentin
it's one of the most notorious active prisons
in the country
I think it's a supermax
it is and it's right
on the fucking water dude
I drive a riot almost every day
yeah
my old roofing boss Kelly Moriarty
did
6 years in San Quentin
and
every time we were listening to radio
at work and the Soundgarden song
Rusty Cage would come on
he'd just kind of like
Quentin
and then go back to work
I was like I was a fucking Rusty Cage boy
and he gets all salt water
everything like it's gotta be
cold as shit dude
that place gotta suck
you try to escape you're just going into
a shark infested freezing
cold water
is that the box movie
when they're escaping from it
well that's actual Alcatraz
that's out on an island
just outside of where San Quentin
is
they're not very far apart
they're basically under the same conditions
except for San Quentin's on the mainland
and Alcatraz is on the island
yeah if not for like
arbitrary border through water
they'd be in the same county
so will this be the last fireworks show
before they go specifically
in solely two drone shows
drone light shows or the quiet
maybe
that's a good question
NAAC knees
maybe more cleverly written like this
NAAC knees
Yeah, George Floyd may he rest in peace the knees and the balls
Yeah, yeah, the balls need aired out also
Well, I can't I can't I can't remember which there was there was a Scottish Lord
And I can't remember what his name was
But that dude had such a big dick that it would fucking hung to the bottom of his kilt
So he had an actual helmet for the end of his dick
David Bowie, yeah, yeah, David Bowie and his name was David Bowie
John mick Holmes
They dropped the Mick when they moved to America, no one's gonna know we're Scottish oh
Oh
Man the World Cup Scots have moved on from Boston to Miami
So now the entire Tartan army has been introduced to street tacos and Big Booty Latinas. Oh, no, they're never leaving
Oh, no, they're never leaving
They're here now. We just have to accept our new Scottish brethren. I was thinking about proposing a trade
No, they'll leave they'll leave they'll leave in July when it when the heat hits. They're like
Why is it?
They're in Miami basically in July
It ain't you know, and they they're gonna leave they need that fucking they need that fucking drizzle in the sky
It's supposed to be gray and drizzly
But they were in Boston and they've just figured out what good weather and smoking hot Latinas are
So I think that some of them are probably gonna try to stay and because of this inevitability
I'm proposing a trade. All right, that sunshine will bring their mood up elevate their mood. We'll take
America will take the World Cup Scots
Will take the World Cup Japanese
They're great. You seen any of the videos of the Japanese eating Texas barbecue for the first time. It's
delightful
Just adorable. We'll take them
and in return
Because the United Kingdom wants to be part of the caliphate
We'll give the United Kingdom
all of the Muslims in Michigan and
Then we can put the Scots in Michigan where the weather is going to be more to their their
Familiarity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and we'll just we'll swap it out and
England the United Kingdom can be the caliphate that it wants to be
And the Scots can have Dearborn and Detroit
Well, it appeared that the people of
The UK are not quite as down with that plan as the
people in charge of that area and
We're seeing a substantial amount of upheaval Ireland
there was a
Riots the other night and I saw that they were talking about dragging council members out of their homes and shit
You know, they're a little
I should
Love to see that
You know just covering local Minnesota news
What else happened in Minnesota, oh
Forest Lake
Though the there's a family that opened a dispensary there
Way down in Forest Lake
It's not only down it's sort of to the side kind of West. What do they dispense?
the green stuff
Miles the mayor of Forest Lake is the owner of this dispensary
The battle horn is coming. There's no doubt. We will hear though. I think we're hearing the horn in our lifetime
Which one
The yaller horn
I love the expression this lady here, I think they're the only married news team
There's another one on Fox News
Yeah, Joe Scarborough and morning Mika. Okay. Yeah and morning prostitute lady. Yeah, my morning good
SNM dude
Morning what I killed my intern who I knocked up and then covered it up and somehow
Still remained in office and then got leveled up to the highest echelons of mainstream media
Joe Scarborough, you know, she takes him. Oh
For sure
Yeah, here in California. It's Mexicans and South Americans hate each other
She's got a lion and she's got a giant life-size statue of Zabignu
And that's what she uses to peg Joe with
Does she wear it of course of course like like it's a tandem parachute jump
Pile drives
So the ruling family of Forest Lake is open to distance right and this is this is their announcement of it
Businesses are finding green and in the green
My grandparents started it back in 1930. It's a Forest Lake family business in horticulture
96 years three generations. That's had to adapt
1997 we opened up Big Apple bagel and coffee shop and bagel shop
Note that
Bagels says the greenhouse cannabis company where they accept tips
And in 2005 we opened Robert's family funeral home and adapting again brothers Blake and Kelly Roberts opened a cannabis shop
Blake is also the mayor of Forest Lake
Really open a bagel shop a funeral parlor and now a green house
That's a diverse portfolio. Yeah, I mean the tanning salon, right the nail
Family video stores
Pivoting into an unfamiliar world at first it was scary just because the perception what people maybe thought
Josh Prestigard is the general manager of the greenhouse like where they fertilizing their cannabis with their
You know
It's a possibility
Like on how high the poor customers are gonna
Fucking joint and some fucking dead person's gonna
For real rooted locally since 19
This this family has been in control of the Forest Lake areas for a hundred years
And now they're controlling the cannabis industry locally
Cannabis saved my life. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer three years. So
Forest Lake where is it by Marcus?
it is
East of
Roosevelt
Okay, okay. Yeah, it's like a St. Paul sub or more than a Minneapolis one
Yeah, this is part of why I do I wasn't able to place it right away as I who the fuck goes and hangs out in st
Paul, you know, it's what it's like a town over from St. Louis Park
Kind of thing or like two spots out two hops over you cross Mississippi River things go bad
Yeah, it's gentrified Lake
Big Lake
They have the downtown area
They got around about there
But it's interesting to note that the mayor
maybe
Is involved in this or it's like all those people who are growing on their own
Selling small batches just type of thing. I can put them in jail getting priced out. Maybe
Screwed here. Yeah. Yeah screwed
Indeed
I felt like I was poisoning my body enough with with the Kimu and radiation that I wanted to find a more natural thing that
Would help me get up be able to
Participate in my kids my family's lives. He discovered cannabis gave him hope from cannabis gave him hope
So there are touting health benefits to old wealthy white people with dad shirts
It's like kind of a camouflage shirt. I think I see Africa and Australia. Maybe it's a map
On the shirt. He adopted, right? He's not straight man. Is he I don't know. He's the
Assistant to the assistant manager
Fighting for my life to now living again and so I'm thankful to this community
Josh says he's very hard to the family that has been a part of Forest Lake for generations
So we did that customers nice green house. It's like a pyramid. Yeah, be grateful be grateful that the
Clanky that's fucking a
I would not even buy my product there. I'm gonna be like you are gonna have subpar product
And make me wait a shit ton for it
Yep, and this is the customer clientele here big hoop earrings
Between gray white and blonde silver hair colors, you know weak edibles made out of high fructose corn syrup
Oh, yeah
Yeah, all the packages on all the products are gonna be super fucking nice
And the product and it isn't even gonna do anything for you
You're gonna be like you're gonna have to fucking smoke like 10 of them to get high
Yeah, the claims of the manager the assistant to the assistant manager talking about the health claims
Yeah, don't ask the FDA about that don't ask the mayor about that. But you know, they're you may see benefits
You may see benefits
Agree, I really think this is gonna help people here in Forest Lake. I've just been so excited
Like your family
They found one young customer to to say it's she's really excited about it
So this is what's happening in in minnesota, that's the local news
Wow
That was great. Thank you Forest Lake
You know funeral home bagel shop dispensary
Yeah, lawn care services are probably already covered by the latino culture
Yeah
Mini apple and big apple and
Pizza oh, that's what you need. You need a cannabis delivery service that landscapes for you
Yeah
That's I like that's an that's an exit strategy
Either landscapes for you or they will come over at night and do uh
boy
point why
That the devil they call them the devil sticks the devil sticks. Yeah, you can watch them out the window with fire
Yeah, and hacky sack
And hacky flaming hacky sack bring culture to the kids. Yep
That's a great idea
We used to put lighter fluid on top of the hacky sack and and set it on fire and play with it till it went out
Oh, nice. That's a great idea. I never don't know why I never thought about that
I like to juggle those uh
Thank you
Oh
The weightless handkerchiefs that just flow. Yeah. Oh, yeah me and the air to learn to juggle them
Oh, yeah, those that was everybody started get into contact juggling with larger and larger balls
Big balls big balls big ball clubs
Yeah, since we're we're discussing exit strategies
I I saw a clip I put in the private chat
Ted Allen if you want to bring it up
I feel like we that with the big brains that we have assembled here
We can take what we're about to watch and then roll that into our own
uh business venture and potential exit strategy from having to podcast all the time
Love it
I've seen some of these before I think
My breath is baited
Ted Allen, would you mind? Yeah, let's bring this up. It sounds loud. Just the visual is oh, yeah
You can you can adjust the volume accordingly. Okay, I'll bring it
Turn it the fuck is going on here the anger retreat
The anger retreat. Okay, some of these out in the woods
That I've seen
I see uh, I see pillows, uh day three of five day three of five here we go
Okay
Is this the Christopher Nolan soundtrack that we're hearing
And then that's started for your blouse to be off
This entire thing is actually the new Taylor Swift album. Is it?
Okay, this is her post toy story five work. Give us a little bit more volume here, Ted Allen. Okay
Just appearance by Cheney
Is this what they do at the bath house, okay, I was really lips here
I think she's
No, no, I think she was saying I hate the Holy Spirit
That's what I heard. Yeah, could be very true. Okay could be very so here. Here's what I'm thinking we
We uh slap a coat of paint
on Chateau de Balderson
Up there in the mountains in northern california
You guys have to see that there's already one of those going on. We could just take the model. I put the link in the
I mean, there's also one on youtube of the same thing. You could see how much they're charging even at this one
This is in the woods. Okay
It's a different one than the one we just watched and they're really uh
Angry these these women. I'm getting a lot of ideas from this. This is just a safe brainstorming
Session right now, right?
So what if we put what they those sleeveless
T-shirts, I think they're called beaters
You know those those white ones
We put those on the pillows
Would that help?
Wife beaters. Yes, always put wife beaters on white. You want to look bad wife's beat back. Yeah
Yeah, where's beat back?
But we're in a black wife beater
Would we also have um add on services for head shaving?
Well, yeah
You would obviously you would obviously have a a beautician
sure and of course it would be a
73 year old guy named less who did
You know two tours and nom he'd be the barber, but we'd call him a beautician
Essentially giving the same haircut
Yeah, it'd be under different packages. This one would be the shanaid o'connor package
Have you seen the price on the one that I posted in the private or the brandy spears package?
Oh, that's even better. That's a brandy spears package. It's more relevant to today
What's his name?
wife
Without apesia will smith
Oh
That won't bring in business nobody likes her
Is she not is she like a printed pillow option if you wanted to take out aggression like will smith will smith was the acceptable black guy for like 20 years
So we would provide a safe space for women of all color to explore their hatred of other colors and cultures
See well, that's all looks like white women, which is not shocked
Well, let's see. There's no other class of human
Outside of liberal white women that are gonna drop four grand on a weekend to punch a pillow or swing a stick
Yeah, it just doesn't exist outside of that demographic. Yeah
You could tell that they're all very well
They're at all middle class or higher because if they were poor you just go down you're like honey
We'll take ten dollars
We'll go down to the goodwill and we'll get a set of plates and you can throw them around when we get home
If they're poor, they don't need any of you. They could just beat the shit out of whoever's paying their bills that week
Yeah
Yeah, it'd be real frustrating to give them some old tupperware to try and smash and it's
Hit it harder. You have to hit it harder
This video goes way longer than I even thought I'm
Because wow
Yeah, no it goes on for a little bit they they get into it they do
Are they beating up the ground this fiery hot emotion from within us so it's called the rage
Fiery hot emotion from within us now they went back to vertical. They just can't pick a choose
They can't pick a freaking
Uh ratio for you. I'm sorry about that. Alan. No, no, no, I I was I was playing with the
The aspect ratio because we wanted to zero in on what is in the hot pocket. And does she have um,
Those steel knuckles. What do they call them?
brass knuckles
Oh take a lap Ted Allen. Dang. I I don't know the language of
Oh
I'm not sure how you currently could go without you don't own a set of brassies
I I look I have a couple of of letter openers that are uniquely shaped
I don't have brass knuckles or or any other implement of of the such those are illegal
Right. Yeah. No, no, I've got I've got I've got a paperweight that's you know in the approximate exact shape of a brass knuckles. Yeah
Yeah, they never know when you're gonna need a good paperweight. So here's my other exit strategy
And that is uh rage wear
We're going to outfit
The women who come to these retreats and we will come up with comfortable and stylish rage wear for all
Seasons because you never know when you're going to be in the middle of the wood screaming your damn fool head off
Beating a stick into the ground
You might want a puffy coat. You might
We should turn ballersons cabin into a boutique
There you go
There needs to be a menopause edition. I think if we undercut the price too by half
Yoga man a manopause rage wear where you just get overalls in a sweater
Big purses with clunky metal
claps and buckles and
things on them
with like one oddball color
like
turquoise
I thought they were called steel knuckles because you put them on before your shop left
Do I get another lap for that?
Yes
You need a lap you need two
No, and you'd also don't like most people don't realize
You don't actually slide them over this part of your fist
You actually put them on this part of your fist and you sit like this so it keeps your wrist straight and you punch
You don't use your knuckles to hit on your arm muscle bone
You you use your your first set they go in between your first and second set of knuckles
Right right here in third. Yeah. Yeah
It's right here
And then and then when you're punching you keep your wrist more straight
Ben's exactly correct the back part that has a little curve on it. It's supposed to rest neatly in your palm
And you're supposed to strike straight forward like a jab
Yeah
And that's yeah, that's where the power and stability is derived
Well, and also it's not like you need to throw a haymaker with those if you've never been hit with brassies
Fucking it's a special kind of painful
All right, imagine that's a stall breaker. I had a buddy
Because we're dumb kids and whatever, you know put on breast knocks and just get armed to me
Yeah, and I
I saw rainbow colors of spots in my eyes
When I got hit with this thing. Yeah, and yeah, I couldn't lift my arm for like a solid four or five minutes
It was just hanging. Wow
Yikes
Yeah, it it's special when you get hit with brassies there there ain't no forgetting that
You've never been hitting the head with him. Fortunately, I mean either. Yeah
Showstopper man
Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're done. You're done. That's light out
Yeah, you don't got to throw the haymaker
You just got to have a decent stiff jab and hit it in a fucking reasonable spot and it's going to cause so much damage
like
Straight out him out hit him in the jaw or the ear
Yeah
In the cheekbone in the anywhere. It's like because you there is no give in brass
That like if you ever read any of the ancient greek books
They're very specific about what metals do do different things
And when you get hit with brass, it's got a special pain to it
Like there's a reason that it's not steel knuckles like brass is special
And it it sucks
Interesting
Like honestly, if you if you think about it, you know, like common sense would tell you why wouldn't you get titanium knuckles?
They, you know, it's
Hard, you know
Yeah, you know, but no, it's it's brass for a reason
You get hit with them fucking with that brass, you know, it's special it dig it like it's down to the bone pain
Not only that, I mean like
Shaped in a way to where like if you take a body shot with brass knuckles
They're hitting at least three different pressure points. No matter
Yeah
And yeah, everything just kind of goes to sleep
Like why doesn't my body work anymore? Ow. I'm getting hit. Ow. Ow. This sucks. Ow
Unless you're built like John Claude from Bloodsport, right? And then you say ow in a french accent
Then you say fuck you tongue-po
Ah
I'm looking around like you're blind and shit great moment
He really did he got this this this is my paper way that was van dam's dialogue going the blinding scene
Well, you know, he also was the very first predator most people don't know that
Yeah, really?
Yeah, oh, he was too small though
Yeah, he said the suit was too uncomfortable and too hot and all that and he ended up having to get replaced
But the original predator was van dam
Would have been pretty funny if they left him
He went over shadows. Well, maybe not Arnold
I feel like I don't know but it looked gigantic next to him
I don't know if I'm fighting this little little uh
Well, I think they had him on like semi stilts and they had uh
Like his arms extended so he's like holding that had to be the worst suit to wherever
Grass knuckles
Basically, that's like what he was doing
I'd love to get hit in the face by some grass knuckles
Squirt on show titles meant unpaused grass knuckles bath house
Grass knuckles, yeah
It's the name of your pot grass knuckles name of your pot
Well, this this is the the the ted the ted experience men unpaused
Men unpaused just just try it on in your mouth just swish around see how see how it goes
Weed gateway drug to gardening indeed
Yeah
I think we learn that every week
We gateway drug to garden
Oh, fuck it is
It is like fucking my gardens are amazing. You make it work for you
What did that say
It's a garden dig it you make it work for you. Not yet. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, no my gardens are top notch
Hey
So, uh, who is ted who is ted? We are all ted upper left. I am ted. It's like a fight club thing going
I'm ted. I'm ted bennington or uh, benjamin balderson, whichever one
We haven't found ted and dirt in yet, but i'm sure he's around
I'll make it so
I
Kind of upset that i'm not ted dirt now that i know
If we get uh, jake shields on the show, we'll name him ted dirt. Okay
I could put that in the pitch to jake shields to say you come on the show. You are ted turden
But which I think I think uh, madame tomato got invited to something with uh, jake shields
So who who might we get on to represent ted tur duckin?
Ted tur duckin. Yeah
rick moranis
Yeah, teddy rose bone
Any ruck spin
Okay
We could get
You're a great get
I still want to see rosa and bar on the show, but
Get her like a little ted mustache or beard
I mean, I've got a few connections to her
We could get her on the fourth of july. She likes singing anthems. Yeah, I know
We probably couldn't get her to sing for us on the fourth of july. It didn't go well last time
I think it went great
Popped off all kinds of fame
We're all we're all supposed to look the same. We're all teds
It's getting dark. So I don't have my glasses on shush it bubs
Yeah, it's too hot here else. I'm doing my hood. Yeah, it's too hot to wear the hoodie
You stop
mouthy
Oh shush it
shush it
Shush it
I actually got a got a hop off gentleman. I got about three hours of shit to do and about an hour of give a damn left
so
I'm not going out up. Good luck. I'm gonna try to make hay
Well, real nice. The sun is not still shining. Yeah
Real nice to hear you said steves
It's an honor and a privilege gentlemen
I'll see you next week
See you next Tuesday Ted Steve
The am wake up hour is very early
Yeah
But yes, madam tomato went uh to vegas and broken with the mater crew and they absolutely kicked ass the show there loved them
Um asked everybody back
Uh, they want us all to come back
Sarah wants to do it again when I can go
Um to vegas
Yeah
It's up back at samstown
And that and fuck no
fuck no
Actually the inside of that place was pretty nice. It's not like the rooms weren't real nice and shit, but
We'll pack our lunches better
But yeah lock the lock the truck up better fucking
Hire a guard on the truck
Mm-hmm
Oh, yeah, that'd be good. Do you guys stay on the strip or in the old vegas when you go?
We went to samstown
The event was at samstown and my truck got stolen out of the fucking casino parking lot
I remember we were doing a show. I think with them. They would be told us right after I think
When you told us maybe we just parking the walmart parking lot. They got snipers
Yeah, they got a protection of snipers. Yeah more
And you're pretty damn close to the um, ricola. Oh, yeah. Yeah
They were well stocked with ricolas
Like they don't even know about ricola there and
So is samstown near like old the old vegas?
Is that where that is kind of old vegas?
Yeah, like
Okay
Like you down by the highway of shootings taking a chris angel show over there
I know you guys are mine freak on I know you guys are mine freaks. I know what freaks of a mine flock in time
So that other man magician
Last time I went out there. He's less famous, but he has a lot of card shit
What the fuck's his name
Strybram magician
I can't I will not remember unless someone says it that's the and it's
Stig freed and roid roids
David copperfield no
That's what I was trying to think of he's a newer one this guy. He's a younger guy
The blame guy
No, I wish I wish I saw him. What does he look like?
Short hair
He always cut he like cuts something out of like a
Like a seat at some point during the show like pretty much every show he does
Cuts the seat out of your pants
He like goes up to someone in the crowd and he like finds like a cell phone
They took from someone else and he cuts it out of like the chair that's another person in the crowd is sitting on
Huh, he might not even be working there anymore seems kind of invasive
Has made it out too far
They know he's going to be cutting the chair
Yeah, it's got to be guys that people that have been picked don't they have ordinances in Las Vegas anymore
Now we're about three hours into it. We're about three hours into the show. It's the the the number of topics
per minute starts, uh
Getting substantially higher after the second hour
There is a lot to talk about and our goal is definitely to talk about all of that before the stream ends
So we'll have caught you up on all you need to know
Well, we just started with uh, Minneapolis
We better talk about the rest of the world too. There are other cities and other in other states. Yeah
Maybe it was matt franco
Are you sure about that marcus?
I am coming into these other cities in other states. There aren't cities. I've been to butte
I've been to green bay
You mean but Montana
Butte
BTT
short or butte in montana
Butte montana, but
for locals
I'm into methamphetamines montana
I'll let that was Idaho. I've broken down like three different times in bozeman
boizeman
bozeman
boizeman
Boys to men
Boys to men. Yeah, that was that's uh, correctional ranch facility. Yeah, you just break down from
some of the grade to 12th grade, right
And then you're a man and you get to leave
Yeah, you you break down and you're you're rebuilt stronger than ever
You either become a man you walk out or you fly out
as a boy band
Either become a man or you repeat seventh grade
Yeah, spend the whole semester in the locker room until you figure it out
Yeah, I'm pretty much an expert now that I have a son. I'm turning a boy to a man
I gave him some sriracha honey sriracha
And damn near he loved it. Sorry. He started growing beard
He's got like half a beard right now
So I think that's what it takes is spicy food
And some more spicy food
Coffee helps black coffee
But yeah, he's got almost a full beard now and he's only a year and a half old
Yeah, when my grandson when my uh, one of my youngest grandson stayed here, we made sure we gave him, uh
What it was it was a habanero that he was eating?
Bray
I think it was habanero
And fucking you betcha no milk. No nothing. He fucking chowed it. He like he bite you go
Man, he just keep on going
Definitely grew a beard immediately
Thor came down and set his hand on his set his hand on his forehead
It's not dropped that day
That's a beautiful beautiful thing in life
Boys first hot sauce spicy peppers
Yeah, he didn't even get the sauce
Let me tell you what he liked the spicy peppers better than the fucking fresh goat milk
Like the fresh milk he was like
Well, the goat milk is there after you finish your peppers
We need it for that. Yeah
Yeah, baby
He was not about that fresh goat milk
Usually kids like it unless they've been drinking lots of cow's milk
Well, we did normally have we do have cows and we normally drink the cow's milk
But I went out and milked the goat that day probably a couple of those honey
honey
Yeah, these uh pit wipers these shades I actually found them under a bridge
So, you know, you're good. Yeah
I left it really cool. Yep. I was under the bridge for hours
So
Yeah, just knew it was meant to be
I was thinking about going to find another pair
but
Like right now like new bridges and wipers to just another pair
I've not got a bunch from and you know, it's hard for me to pick sometimes
Keep wearing these same ones and
They're not comfortable
They're nice. It's pretty nice. They fit. Yeah, if we're so blind, how can we can read your comment?
Herotera ticks. Oh that heretic heretic heretics. I just hear the cues you guys
Yeah
SCV is breaking down in boizeman
bossman
Dude, you broke down in bozeman, too. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's horrible
We and then we've been stuck in there for like a week waiting for parts
expensive as shit
Yeah, keys in bozeman calls it blows man ever since
yeah
So
Yeah
My wife and I actually thought we were gonna move to west yellowstone montana because we got stuck there like three times
Only once was it a breakdown though?
twice we got snowed in or
or stormed in
Once over christ once over christmas
We were stuck there for like a week waiting for the fucking nap open so we could buy tire chains
because our tire chains
Oh
You met with old edward out there
And you were snowed in
Oh
It was honestly a very nice hotel and you know a little quaint hotel
The town is a very quaint beautiful town up in the mountains fucking it was so gorgeous
I would have rather been with my kids but for just christie and I hanging out with the dogs fucking
It was really a beautiful christmas
And ed
Was the internet good at that place
What was what good the internet, uh, I don't think so no, that's why I was hiding out there
I
I mean
Could be there's a beautiful place to hang out
Better than a Shakopee
No, we all know we all notice heretic dream we all notice
You are you are definitely preaching to the choir on that on that deal
We're all very noticing. Yeah rewind the tape. You'll hear us talking about
bagel shops funeral parlors and
Disadventure is owned by the mayor of the town
Yeah, it's it's there. You just have to to play it back start from the beginning
Yeah, yeah, I leave a comment that helps in comprehension
Yeah, local local commerce local commerce is good in minnesota
the
Well, we appreciate you being new here. We hope you stick around we we
This show is ted talks
And this we're mostly occultists and we talk about
You know, it's based off of uncle ted and his fucking
Looking at industrial society and its future
And so we talk about stuff like that kind of you know stuff that's anti system
And then the rest of the week most of the time i'm on debate panels and shit
Debating less meaningful things, although I try to slip in an occult show like we do weaving spiders webs occasionally
but
In this in this
I'm an odinist. I definitely notice the uh
The uh, you know the apple juice is is a real problem
Yeah, it doesn't fall far from the tree
Nice graphics. Yeah, I had some filler here
Do you want to talk about the 7-eleven prophecy? I think uncle jojo. Yeah sure
You know what it is. You know who it is. It's uncle jojo and I got two questions for you. It's gas
kicking ass is trump missing out the pump. It's uncle jojo
We got you
So the 7-eleven prophecy is being covered by a lot of other streamers
I know ted james really sent me some content talking about the 7-eleven
Prophecy what have we learned about the possibility of the prophecy?
Montagraph 11th. Yes montagraph monograph
Montagraph talks about it a lot. Yeah, he does
Some sort of I'm still unclear about what what it all exactly boils down to
I'm not sure if it could be boiled down to an easy
Do you think it's do you think it's gonna happen this july this july 11th?
We'll find out I think that's something to look forward to in july the 11th of july
Where the price is at 7-eleven at the pump may in fact read seven dollars 11 cents
The actual birthdate of jesus christ
Oh, it was a
7-eleven
and so
Okay, knowing that yeah, I don't know it kind of
It dances around another another number 11 event and
Commentary in movies and like back to the future too
Uh, I think it's the date that's on the thing
At first when it's all scrambled at one moment on the time traveling machine. There's a certain date 7-eleven and uh
What if it's
november
7th november 7th
That's a good good point
Well, we would need to also track the delta to the november elections
I know that uh q
has been back on
People are talking about q all over again. Who is q?
And what is q yeah in the debate panels q is made uh an emergence for sure
mm-hmm
This is sieve bannon and jeff breppstein. I believe is that the rumor from the files
We have a clip about that. Do we want to want to talk with the east?
Clip it up
Let's see. We're gonna put that
Yeah, at least it was there a project they worked on intelligence
Here it is
Could very well be yeah, we bring that up
This is human vibration on nephilim death squad have you guys
Seeing the nephilim death quad at the coffee shop guys
Yeah heard them. I I think those guys hate steve
Well, we love them here. We'd love them everywhere. Here's what they have to say about
jeffrey
What's up with epstein? He's not he'd never existed doesn't exist. Oh, that's interesting
Was never alive. Is that is that your theory here?
Yeah, I'm I'm in the absolute minority on on this one. It's just it's all a movie set. Yeah
Yeah, that's right. It's all movies that the doors were painted on the the gold dome was just an applique
That's true. So the gold dome was not really golden was not really attached
And the wall it was wall picture the uh stuff that was on paper mache a little gold flake
Yes
The entire island just kind of um a movie set kind of like a place to take a picture
Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't a real structure. Everything was designed to look
Real because if you think about it, you're visualizing it and once you visualized it you're cooked
our
focused attention
individually and collectively
Is the most prized
Precious powerful finite resource
These stories and these characters and they're called characters because they need to care about them, but
Fallen with her here
Our attention goes to our the visuals
So we see
That there is an island and then we see images of children and then we associate all these things with an idea
And then it becomes real in our minds and then we start demanding making demands
A little bit more here
are designed in such a way to
To create a put in a fascination so strong that that it truly pulls all of our attention
That we cannot look away. It's all just an attention trap. What we're truly doing is retarding ourselves
Shout out to the Nephilim death squad and human vibrations
So
The idea that the man who has files that people are demanding
Are released are focusing so much attention
over there
When there's other things happening on
all around us
So to focus on this one thing
Well, other people are getting away with
all their things and other places
and other bathhouses
Very interesting to consider
And he didn't quite quite the the meme
People were wearing shirts with his face on it talking about how he did not
Uh do anything to his own life at any point in any cell or you know, that that became a very popular
Discussion that everyone was having
Presents any thoughts on that
Hi, uh
I feel like
That woman talking is a real uh
So who was I going to compare her to?
She's just ahead of her time
Yeah
Just ahead of her time
John Bene Ramsey
Real Sabrina Williams
To the tennis player
Human vibration probably plays tennis
Pre-athletic
I love it when someone acts like they're like insane for the theory that they just came up with
Whenever I know like even janey said they talked about that how many years four years ago on her channel
But right but to repackage the idea and continue to put it out there eventually
Other people in a more mainstream
environment picked up on it
Finally
And then they're able to discuss where you know the overton window is
That is the term what can be what can be discussed certainly?
Yeah, no my legs don't normally get sun. My upper body does I live out in the mountains
It's just super hot today. So wearing shorts. I'm aware that I have very little hair and my legs are extremely white
Yeah, this is the true reason why as teds wear sunglasses
Yeah
See see like my arms. See Ben's knees a secret of
Yeah, we we do the we do the video so we can see when mouths are moving so we're not
Talking over someone else. It's convenient for us to
conversation in this way
I've been taking shit about my knees all night my bad. That's my bad elbows elbows up elbows knees up
Head and shoulders knees and toes but no toes will show
I've taken shit about it last night too
about my about my fucking super white legs and
Having very little hair
What have we planned for the the members only after stream?
That is good for us. That's why I've got wicked ass
Sunlines on my upper body
But people are talking about Ben's knees. Hopefully
Yeah
We got the Ben's
The Ben's
Case we got a case of the Ben's case of the Tuesdays make it a 12
sure
Ben's sense, huh? That sounds like a horrible way to go. You know the Ben's
We're coming up coming up too fast
Yeah
Horrible yeah
Debating twice a day for for six days in a row you get the Ben's
Yeah, that is a fan
I don't feel a weak fan
Holy fuck. I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't stream yesterday. It was nice
Wow, are you okay? Is everything okay? Yeah
Yeah, okay
good
we're about to send a
Rescue party over here a rescue party over there. Yeah, so
And our members only section will uh discuss the intervention protocols for stream addictions
You're on when you're uh when the algorithms be a nice to you and you're fucking trying to make things grow
You got to put in the work
Just how that is
Yeah
What and you are definitely working
In
We are all american
We are Ted
We are your uncle. We are your cousin. We are kitchenski
Unabomber Ted kitchenski
Say it was
Ted kitchenski and then
Wow all I want
Because this stuff is real everything we talk about on Ted on uncle Ted talks
It's real. It is real. Yeah, because we say it's real
Like that
Whatever that was that's cool. It's the warlock fight. How do you even explain these things?
Well, we use words to explain them one after the other
That's what men do
So we have punches to explain things. I think we've got some possible show titles for this number 26
Now we are we are all american on this panel
Currently anyways
Grass knuckles
Bathgrass
Men on pot I'm not sure what a patriot is
a patriot
Patreon
What's store
Crocker barrel
As in do I do I do I want the benefit of the united states the place I live well, of course I do
Best I can do is
It seems rather silly to not be
Supportive of the place you live in I served in the army and shit
Um
I think any of them except for that bag that bag know the gray bag
We have a brief intermission and I think the stream will continue for
Members
Yeah, that brings us about to our member only time
hours
Sarah tomato did kill her. She's on her way home. So we'll have some panels there
Not me and spin guy. We'll have some panels
Yeah, check out this channel weaving spiders 2642 make sure you're subscribed there
Certainly
My preview yeah any any final hanging chats are undangled or redangled or undangled
we try to put out a good chunk for our members every week and
So we very much appreciate you guys that are supporting us we
Appreciate you hurricane
and
I
So we try to put out, you know
Stuff for our members. We have quite a few members and
We try and put out stuff nice meeting you hectic
We'll buy I'll be back on tomorrow afternoon and tomorrow evening and the next afternoon and the next evening
Thanks for lightness rumble or an AM wake-up channel
Be like the naked man orchid
Hang out in the sun with your floppy hat and your penis
Just hanging right down. Why would you be banned snuffles?
Yes, we see you see you snuffles
Anyways, uh, lots of shows coming up this week lots of different subjects. We love you guys
You remember we'll see you on the member side same Ted times same Ted channel
When it was published in 1995 a man stepped forward to identify his brother as the unabomber
Uncle Ted