WEBVTT 01:02.290 --> 01:04.890 So friends, welcome to the was true podcast. 01:05.190 --> 01:06.470 It's been a minute. 01:07.830 --> 01:11.470 I'm still not 100 percent far from it, but. 01:13.030 --> 01:16.230 Can't lay down forever, you know, you got to got to get up. 01:18.290 --> 01:19.850 Took some time off because. 01:21.450 --> 01:21.730 Just. 01:23.970 --> 01:26.210 You know, my life is is a mess. 01:38.040 --> 01:40.320 Yeah, I'm not going to. 01:40.320 --> 01:44.340 I don't want to get into details, but it's been rough. 01:52.020 --> 01:54.220 I'm going to I'm going to. 01:54.640 --> 01:56.060 Thank everyone that reached out. 01:57.220 --> 01:58.880 Sending positive vibes. 02:01.740 --> 02:07.780 I want to thank John, John Brissum and especially my. 02:10.220 --> 02:12.440 My new homie, good homie. 02:12.440 --> 02:14.840 She's like a sister to me now, Ashley. 02:16.240 --> 02:17.580 She's she's been awesome. 02:20.860 --> 02:24.280 She's been she's been there listening to me. 02:24.560 --> 02:28.480 Give me lots of good advice and check me when I when I needed it. 02:28.580 --> 02:32.720 So I want to want to give those two, especially shout out. 02:33.200 --> 02:37.080 And people let me have been leaving me comments, emails. 02:37.300 --> 02:39.480 And if I haven't responded, you know, with. 02:41.340 --> 02:46.400 Um, you know, huge right backs or whatever written back. 02:48.300 --> 02:52.360 That doesn't mean that I was ignoring it. 02:52.420 --> 02:55.020 I saw it in it meant everything to me. 02:55.120 --> 02:55.860 So thank you for that. 02:58.480 --> 03:02.180 Yeah, man, my mind has been. 03:03.320 --> 03:04.440 Has been shit. 03:06.980 --> 03:14.200 I know some people wanted me to talk about, like, the war and ask me what my views on it, motherfuckers. 03:14.280 --> 03:15.860 I got wars in my head right now. 03:17.840 --> 03:18.400 Um. 03:20.720 --> 03:24.040 And, uh, it's crazy. 03:25.120 --> 03:28.700 Um, I'm just I got so much shit, man. 03:29.400 --> 03:35.300 And just trying to find peace is what I've been trying to do, you know? 03:38.320 --> 03:42.520 Um, weeks back, I was at work and even at work, man. 03:42.800 --> 03:45.920 Sometimes I've been having like breakdowns and shit. 03:47.600 --> 03:49.300 While I'm driving and shit, you know, 03:53.720 --> 03:57.860 some hillbilly got the got the worst of that shit a couple of weeks back. 03:57.860 --> 04:06.400 I was already, you know, I was already amped up and, uh, we were at work. 04:07.440 --> 04:13.260 We were arguing about some shit and, uh, then he started using some racial slurs. 04:16.540 --> 04:19.640 Normal times, I'd probably just walk away like, fuck you, dude. 04:19.880 --> 04:26.240 But when I'm already amped up, that's all, that's all I needed, you know? 04:26.920 --> 04:32.680 And, uh, little motherfucker got got the brunt of it, said he was going to press charges. 04:34.520 --> 04:35.620 Luckily, he never did. 04:36.320 --> 04:41.420 And luckily, my work was even better. 04:42.260 --> 04:43.720 They showed me the camera. 04:45.060 --> 04:47.740 They were like, bro, you can't fucking do that. 04:47.780 --> 04:49.640 Even even if he was running his mouth. 04:52.140 --> 04:52.840 But, um. 04:57.320 --> 05:01.040 I've been, I think, for the last few years, I've been. 05:03.860 --> 05:14.860 Been trying to make changes, you know, um, and it hasn't been easy, you know? 05:17.140 --> 05:30.320 Sometimes I wonder if, uh, um, like cosmic karma and shit. 05:34.420 --> 05:37.440 You know, for all the, the, all the wrong that I've done. 05:52.900 --> 05:56.120 This is where these philosophies has helped, has helped me. 05:57.960 --> 06:01.640 Um, Kaizen and, uh, eternal recurrence. 06:02.500 --> 06:21.270 Um, you know, I've been, I thought I was going to be ready, apparently not. 06:24.290 --> 06:30.470 Um, you know, there's been times where I've been in real dark places lately. 06:37.540 --> 06:45.300 When I get, when I get real dark, even like right now, I feel like life is fucking me hard, hard. 06:46.420 --> 06:47.960 And I just spread my ass cheeks. 06:48.160 --> 06:50.840 I go, fuck me harder, bitch, bring it. 06:52.700 --> 06:57.280 And that's a silly way of a segue into eternal recurrence. 06:59.400 --> 07:03.460 Internal recurrence, if you look at the thumbnail, that's the snake 07:04.280 --> 07:06.300 that's eating itself in the figure eight. 07:08.640 --> 07:15.660 It's been a philosophy that's been around for thousands of years, basically that this same 07:15.660 --> 07:21.780 exact life just repeats itself, you know, over and over and over and over again. 07:22.040 --> 07:22.540 No changes. 07:23.280 --> 07:24.400 Same fucking thing. 07:25.400 --> 07:32.860 And, um, you know, picture yourself, you're in a spot like where I'm at right now. 07:33.820 --> 07:36.120 Darkest fuck, you're lonely as shit. 07:40.000 --> 07:45.280 And a demon comes in and he whispers in your ear. 07:47.580 --> 07:48.900 Guess what, motherfucker? 07:51.000 --> 07:56.880 When you die, you're going to live the exact same loop infinite amount of times, 08:00.120 --> 08:06.020 meaning not just the good moments, but all the times you fucked up, all the times 08:06.020 --> 08:13.660 you did some evil shit, all the times you lost someone and it hurt real bad. 08:15.060 --> 08:18.140 Every fucking moment, good, bad, neutral. 08:20.020 --> 08:22.520 It's repeated over and over and. 08:27.640 --> 08:28.460 And. 08:31.320 --> 08:37.840 A lot of people will take that in a negative way and be like, oh, man, that's fucking horrible. 08:38.860 --> 08:43.280 I know there's there's some things that I would like to change and I can't change 08:43.280 --> 08:45.100 that I have to relive it again. 08:46.200 --> 08:47.000 That's fucked up. 08:50.000 --> 08:53.200 Nietzsche was basically saying, that's the other thing. 08:53.580 --> 08:56.360 Nietzsche is one of these misunderstood philosophers. 08:56.360 --> 09:01.160 He gets shit on quite a bit because people don't really understand what he was trying to say. 09:02.400 --> 09:06.740 Would I would the reason I've gravitated to Nietzsche is because he was basically 09:06.740 --> 09:08.980 say fuck all authority, you know what I mean? 09:09.640 --> 09:12.180 Fuck religious authority, fuck government authority. 09:13.160 --> 09:16.860 You have to create your own morals. 09:18.540 --> 09:21.300 And that's where a lot of people misrepresent them. 09:21.480 --> 09:23.660 Oh, so he doesn't believe in morals or morality. 09:23.660 --> 09:30.600 No, he's saying you have a lot of these systems like religious institutions, 09:30.840 --> 09:35.340 government institutions, they tell you what is right and wrong. 09:36.500 --> 09:38.720 And people believe it and go with it. 09:38.900 --> 09:43.440 Sometimes those things could be correct, but other times that shit's antiquated. 09:43.940 --> 09:49.500 And so he was telling people, you got to create morality within yourself. 09:50.320 --> 09:56.620 And when we look at this thought experiment of reliving everything 09:58.360 --> 10:02.060 exactly for infinite amount of times, the good, the bad, the ugly. 10:03.220 --> 10:07.840 Some people will get freaked out, like even this is what I mean. 10:08.120 --> 10:11.180 Like right now I'm in the lowest point ever in my life. 10:14.420 --> 10:27.970 And I'm saying, fuck it, let's do it because 10:30.350 --> 10:35.090 the reason I try to find positive activity out of this darkness is 10:37.810 --> 10:40.770 it's raw material, it's fuel. 10:43.750 --> 10:48.910 And I keep telling myself, no matter how bad shit is, 10:51.350 --> 10:52.770 I'm going to become better. 11:05.860 --> 11:08.060 And once you accept that. 11:12.100 --> 11:14.640 That's when you're like, fuck, yeah, let's do it again. 11:15.780 --> 11:16.860 So right now. 11:18.380 --> 11:20.260 Even when shit gets dark. 11:24.360 --> 11:28.040 I just remind myself, I'm going to learn from this. 11:33.760 --> 11:35.280 And so when you. 11:36.380 --> 11:41.660 Really, really take in the thought experiment of eternal recurrence. 11:44.140 --> 11:46.380 If you're living a fucked up life now. 11:49.140 --> 11:51.980 What are you going to do to change it right now? 11:53.220 --> 11:55.580 Just in case you have to repeat it over and over again. 11:57.560 --> 11:58.820 A lot of religious people. 12:01.720 --> 12:02.120 View. 12:03.980 --> 12:05.740 The afterlife, like going to heaven. 12:07.460 --> 12:10.920 You know, all this shit sucks, but when I'm in heaven, everything's going to be all good. 12:10.920 --> 12:13.900 Nietzsche said that some pussy shit. 12:15.160 --> 12:19.360 You're relying on something that may be or may not be true. 12:20.840 --> 12:23.460 How about you fucking try to do shit right now? 12:24.580 --> 12:26.300 That's what Nietzsche was talking about. 12:28.260 --> 12:28.540 And. 12:30.500 --> 12:33.260 That's what I've been doing for the last few years. 12:35.380 --> 12:37.840 I'm trying to be as honest as possible. 12:38.740 --> 12:39.520 Straight up. 12:42.680 --> 12:43.660 When I was younger. 12:45.240 --> 12:46.600 I was a scumbag. 12:47.940 --> 12:49.340 I heard a lot of people. 12:52.480 --> 13:02.830 I didn't give a fuck now that I'm older. 13:04.290 --> 13:05.170 I am remorse. 13:07.610 --> 13:20.030 I wish I could change a lot of shit, but I can't. 13:20.090 --> 13:20.530 I'm right here. 13:21.570 --> 13:22.490 I got it. 13:23.350 --> 13:25.090 Got to deal with what's already done. 13:25.730 --> 13:28.010 The consequences, everything. 13:32.900 --> 13:34.120 And this is what I mean. 13:34.340 --> 13:38.180 Like maybe there's something such thing as cosmic karma. 13:39.360 --> 13:39.920 Because. 13:41.080 --> 13:42.380 That's what torturing me. 13:42.580 --> 13:46.320 I've been making the hell of changes for years now. 13:47.340 --> 13:47.900 And. 13:49.900 --> 13:52.180 All this shit just keeps getting worse for me. 13:54.140 --> 13:58.740 And for a while, I was like, everything is cyclical sooner or later. 13:58.740 --> 13:59.680 Shit's going to get better. 14:00.460 --> 14:06.100 And for years now, it's just when it starts to feel like shit's going to get good, 14:06.280 --> 14:08.820 then it fucking goes shit again. 14:11.520 --> 14:14.220 And I think the worst is. 14:15.500 --> 14:16.060 Betrayal. 14:17.500 --> 14:27.990 You know, when when some average Joe betrays you, it doesn't 14:28.610 --> 14:29.750 doesn't really hurt. 14:30.250 --> 14:31.170 It might piss you off. 14:32.170 --> 14:40.030 But when it's people that you loved, people that you would be willing to put your life for. 14:44.170 --> 14:45.610 I've had people that. 14:47.850 --> 14:52.290 I don't want to get into details, but people that I would have done anything for. 14:54.050 --> 14:54.690 And. 14:56.150 --> 15:00.370 And when you get betrayed, it's it's the worst fucking feeling. 15:01.530 --> 15:06.950 I'm sure anyone listening has been betrayed by loved ones and you guys know what it is. 15:08.290 --> 15:08.850 And. 15:11.310 --> 15:14.030 It sucks because you think you know people. 15:15.750 --> 15:18.510 And in the end, you don't know who the fuck they are. 15:19.730 --> 15:20.290 Literally. 15:24.210 --> 15:27.190 And maybe this is temporary, but that's what's made me. 15:27.710 --> 15:29.790 I'm already distrustful with. 15:30.410 --> 15:33.190 I don't like getting close to people because I don't want to get hurt. 15:34.450 --> 15:37.010 And when I open myself up to someone. 15:38.670 --> 15:39.810 Fully, it's because. 15:41.730 --> 15:46.110 I feel some kind of connections with, you know, with the soul. 15:49.170 --> 15:52.690 And once I connect with you, I'm going to ride with you. 15:52.850 --> 15:54.830 I'm going to I'm going to go to war for you. 15:55.390 --> 15:57.830 I will do what it fucking takes for you. 15:58.490 --> 16:01.310 I may not be perfect, but I'm going to fucking try. 16:03.190 --> 16:03.830 And. 16:05.590 --> 16:07.650 When that doesn't get reciprocated. 16:11.230 --> 16:13.970 Fucking devastating, fucking horrible. 16:17.070 --> 16:19.370 But here we are, you know. 16:21.430 --> 16:23.270 Just got to got to keep improving. 16:24.830 --> 16:29.950 So this is where we bring in the philosophy of Kai's in. 16:31.030 --> 16:32.410 It's Japanese. 16:36.190 --> 16:37.110 And. 16:38.570 --> 16:41.150 It's a philosophy that. 16:42.610 --> 16:47.110 Kind of got famous in the 1940s after World War Two. 16:48.750 --> 16:52.330 You know, after Japan got nuked and everything. 16:52.330 --> 16:56.170 They had to rebuild and you look at Japan today. 16:56.170 --> 16:58.790 It's it's a first world power. 16:59.770 --> 17:01.070 Beautiful clean city. 17:02.650 --> 17:03.590 Beautiful women. 17:04.810 --> 17:05.350 Little Japanese. 17:07.570 --> 17:08.970 Maybe I need to go to Japan. 17:10.850 --> 17:12.730 Maybe I fucking will go to Japan. 17:12.870 --> 17:13.190 Hell yeah. 17:16.230 --> 17:24.300 Hey, Blake, you want to call in bro? 17:25.340 --> 17:26.540 Maybe I'll open the. 17:26.540 --> 17:27.640 I didn't I don't. 17:27.720 --> 17:29.400 I don't know how this show is going to turn out. 17:29.760 --> 17:31.980 And I apologize me getting emotional, you know. 17:33.840 --> 17:39.000 I told myself I'm going to hold it together, but this is what it is. 17:39.640 --> 17:40.160 I'm good now. 17:44.420 --> 17:46.360 There's Ashley right there in the black chat. 17:46.640 --> 17:48.060 Ashley is my sister. 17:50.120 --> 17:53.480 She truly is a fucking awesome, awesome woman. 17:54.350 --> 17:59.360 And a shout out to her husband for supporting her. 18:00.680 --> 18:02.560 In this podcast game. 18:03.820 --> 18:07.720 But Kaizen is a. 18:09.460 --> 18:13.540 Is a is a philosophy that became famous in the 1950s. 18:13.580 --> 18:16.560 But the idea of Kaizen goes back centuries. 18:17.240 --> 18:18.400 You know. 18:20.400 --> 18:23.240 Comes from, you know, Buddhist traditions. 18:23.480 --> 18:27.600 Incorporate some of this and basically Kaizen is. 18:29.740 --> 18:30.940 Incremental changes. 18:32.140 --> 18:33.320 One percent. 18:34.200 --> 18:37.960 You're only required to change one tiny little bit. 18:38.840 --> 18:39.820 But here's the kicker. 18:40.540 --> 18:43.820 You make that one change and you do it every fucking day. 18:46.720 --> 18:48.980 And over the course of time. 18:50.300 --> 18:51.180 It compounds. 18:52.740 --> 18:55.820 And that's where you start seeing the fruits of the labor. 18:56.220 --> 18:57.240 It's not an overnight thing. 18:57.880 --> 18:58.740 What happens? 19:00.360 --> 19:01.900 Every New Year's Eve. 19:03.400 --> 19:07.240 People, everyone tells you, hell, yeah, I'm going to go to the gym. 19:07.720 --> 19:09.960 I'm going to, I'm going to run a marathon. 19:10.800 --> 19:12.160 I'm going to live. 19:12.300 --> 19:14.220 I'm going to get jacked like Arnold Schwarzenegger. 19:15.260 --> 19:18.120 And she said, I got a gym right here at the crib. 19:19.620 --> 19:25.180 And sure enough, first weeks of January, that bitch was jam packed with motherfuckers. 19:25.760 --> 19:27.020 And I knew it. 19:27.620 --> 19:29.180 I go watch by the end of January. 19:30.080 --> 19:31.600 It's going to trickle down, trickle down. 19:32.080 --> 19:34.140 Today I went to the gym for three hours. 19:34.760 --> 19:36.780 Not a single fucking person in there. 19:37.400 --> 19:40.660 It was just me working out. 19:41.580 --> 19:42.140 But. 19:42.960 --> 19:48.340 The reason it fails when people get hyped up and pumped up. 19:48.800 --> 19:51.360 It's because especially out here in the West. 19:52.220 --> 19:57.820 We're always told, you know, like, let's listen to some motivational speeches and people get pumped up. 19:57.980 --> 19:59.300 Fuck yeah, let's fucking go. 19:59.740 --> 20:04.000 You run and you fucking haul ass and you might keep it up for a week. 20:05.280 --> 20:06.580 Maybe two weeks. 20:08.380 --> 20:11.220 After after two or three weeks, your muscles start hurting. 20:11.640 --> 20:12.620 Your legs start hurting. 20:12.740 --> 20:14.780 If you've been running like fuck, I can't do this shit. 20:15.260 --> 20:17.020 And you take a day off. 20:18.060 --> 20:21.560 That day off turns into two days off, three days off, and then you never go back again. 20:22.400 --> 20:23.280 You get burnt out. 20:24.700 --> 20:28.300 So here's where the magic of Kaizen comes in. 20:30.740 --> 20:34.860 Let's say you want to get into push-ups and you've never done push-ups your entire life. 20:36.580 --> 20:38.960 Do one fucking push-up every day. 20:41.980 --> 20:44.740 Every day, you don't miss push-ups. 20:45.720 --> 20:47.120 Boom, get it out. 20:48.160 --> 20:49.000 Go do something else. 20:50.000 --> 20:52.440 Eventually, you're going to be like, damn, one push-up. 20:52.960 --> 20:53.300 Fuck it. 20:53.660 --> 20:54.540 I can do five. 20:55.660 --> 20:57.220 So now you start doing five. 20:57.860 --> 20:59.740 Damn, I'm going to go for 20. 21:00.500 --> 21:01.500 I'm going to go for 100. 21:01.600 --> 21:03.220 I try to do 100 every fucking day. 21:04.860 --> 21:06.700 I do them before I go to bed. 21:07.620 --> 21:08.580 But that's the thing. 21:09.400 --> 21:10.400 It's every day. 21:10.760 --> 21:11.660 You don't skip a day. 21:12.320 --> 21:13.180 This is why. 21:14.580 --> 21:17.900 If you want to do push-ups, oh, I can do one push-up. 21:18.720 --> 21:19.960 I'm going to go for five. 21:20.340 --> 21:21.100 You don't push yourself. 21:21.440 --> 21:23.540 You got to start super fucking easy. 21:24.220 --> 21:29.760 Because the point of it is to trick your mind and build it, make it into a habit. 21:30.940 --> 21:33.380 Just like you brush your teeth before going to bed. 21:34.100 --> 21:36.580 You're going to have to do a push-up at some point. 21:36.740 --> 21:37.420 You got to plan it. 21:37.540 --> 21:37.920 All right. 21:38.180 --> 21:39.980 Before I go to bed, I'm going to do my push-ups. 21:40.660 --> 21:42.040 That's how I do my push-ups. 21:43.140 --> 21:44.140 Boom, boom, boom, boom. 21:44.580 --> 21:45.140 Get them done. 21:45.800 --> 21:46.740 But it's every day. 21:47.480 --> 21:52.140 Let's say you want to start running or you want to start jogging, 21:52.200 --> 21:55.340 but you haven't done any of that in a long fucking time. 21:55.540 --> 21:56.220 Start walking. 21:57.280 --> 21:59.180 Walk for 10 minutes every day. 22:00.320 --> 22:05.500 If you walk 10 minutes every day over the course of a year, 365 days, 22:05.600 --> 22:09.700 you have walked 60 hours worth of walking time. 22:12.060 --> 22:14.920 That's the power of Kaizen in action. 22:15.680 --> 22:18.080 Tiny little changes that just build up. 22:19.820 --> 22:22.680 Another visualization that I try to. 22:24.540 --> 22:30.660 May help people is let's say you're at home and there's a massive pile of dirt 22:31.180 --> 22:32.240 outside of your house. 22:32.560 --> 22:37.540 And the city says you got to move that pile of dirt to the other side of the road 22:38.380 --> 22:42.340 or we're going to find you, you know, we're going to give you a big fine 22:42.340 --> 22:44.140 and you got to get it done in a year. 22:45.480 --> 22:49.220 You may get scared for that fine and you may go with a bucket and start 22:51.220 --> 22:52.180 making bucketfuls. 22:52.720 --> 22:54.540 Holland asked for the first couple of weeks. 22:56.280 --> 23:01.940 And then after a couple of weeks, you're like, damn, my, my, I'm too sore. 23:02.060 --> 23:04.160 Now I blew my load. 23:04.500 --> 23:06.220 I blew my lot of my, my wad. 23:06.440 --> 23:07.700 I can't do it anymore. 23:09.120 --> 23:12.620 But what if you just did two buckets a day? 23:13.140 --> 23:14.580 Boom, one bucket here. 23:15.040 --> 23:16.020 Boom bucket there. 23:16.480 --> 23:17.080 All right. 23:17.240 --> 23:18.020 Tomorrow we do it again. 23:18.020 --> 23:19.180 One bucket here. 23:19.380 --> 23:19.860 Boom. 23:20.000 --> 23:20.800 Another bucket here. 23:21.500 --> 23:25.220 You get more shit done just doing two damn buckets instead of hauling ass 23:25.880 --> 23:26.860 first couple of weeks. 23:27.720 --> 23:31.700 It's almost like the fable of the tortoise and the hare. 23:34.320 --> 23:38.160 But remember that the fucking hare comes out of the starting gate and 23:38.160 --> 23:41.460 all his ass then takes a break and starts fucking around. 23:42.060 --> 23:46.740 And the turtle is just barely moving, but the motherfucker never stops. 23:46.740 --> 23:51.460 He keeps moving, moving and moving and moving and the turtle eventually 23:51.460 --> 23:52.320 wins out. 23:54.120 --> 24:00.960 That's similar to Kaiser and tiny little changes that aren't going to break 24:00.960 --> 24:04.660 the bank that aren't going to discourage you from doing it every fucking 24:04.660 --> 24:07.460 day because that's the point you do it every day. 24:08.020 --> 24:11.820 Let's say you want to do the walking every 10 minutes to get your 24:11.820 --> 24:14.740 60 hours in one year of movement. 24:16.740 --> 24:17.420 You got a walk. 24:17.680 --> 24:18.060 Oh, shit. 24:18.240 --> 24:18.840 Tomorrow's cold. 24:19.080 --> 24:19.840 Tomorrow's going to be cold. 24:20.060 --> 24:22.000 Put on a fucking jacket and walk 10 minutes. 24:23.620 --> 24:24.720 Oh, it's going to rain. 24:25.160 --> 24:26.000 Get your fucking umbrella. 24:26.460 --> 24:27.280 Walk 10 minutes. 24:28.140 --> 24:29.080 Every day. 24:29.680 --> 24:30.440 No days off. 24:32.200 --> 24:33.180 That's the power of Kaisen. 24:40.560 --> 24:45.740 Yo, what's up dude says a journey of a thousand miles begins with a 24:45.740 --> 24:46.220 single step. 24:47.520 --> 24:49.300 Yeah, right there. 24:54.280 --> 24:56.200 And so. 24:57.460 --> 25:01.920 I've been trying to intertwine the thought experiment of eternal 25:01.920 --> 25:04.920 recurrence and Kaisen because. 25:07.760 --> 25:10.080 Let's say I died tomorrow. 25:11.120 --> 25:11.880 Something happened. 25:12.480 --> 25:13.120 I died tomorrow. 25:14.600 --> 25:16.200 And the demon pops up. 25:16.400 --> 25:16.900 Hey, motherfucker. 25:17.240 --> 25:17.540 Guess what? 25:17.680 --> 25:18.460 You got to do it again. 25:19.260 --> 25:21.900 I feel even though I have many regrets. 25:22.320 --> 25:24.300 I'm remorseful for a lot of shit in the past. 25:25.840 --> 25:28.980 I feel that I've been a Tony. 25:31.340 --> 25:33.180 Incremental changes have been the Tony. 25:34.360 --> 25:34.500 You know. 25:36.400 --> 25:36.920 And. 25:40.280 --> 25:42.360 That's that's what's helped me a lot a lot. 25:42.360 --> 25:46.280 So some of you have probably heard of these philosophies. 25:48.160 --> 25:50.140 And maybe some of you have not. 25:50.860 --> 25:51.340 But. 25:52.880 --> 25:53.860 That's what it is. 25:54.820 --> 25:55.700 I'm going to. 25:57.180 --> 25:58.640 I'm going to open up the stream yard. 25:59.120 --> 26:00.200 Maybe if you guys want to talk about. 26:01.620 --> 26:03.460 The current events or whatever. 26:04.680 --> 26:05.260 Jump in. 26:08.600 --> 26:09.000 Because. 26:09.600 --> 26:10.880 Only did 30 minutes. 26:11.400 --> 26:13.220 But if no one hits it, I'll just end the show. 26:14.520 --> 26:16.060 Let's go to a fucking rumble. 26:16.520 --> 26:16.840 Yeah. 26:16.960 --> 26:17.560 Sorry, guys. 26:17.760 --> 26:18.660 I thought I was ready. 26:19.420 --> 26:21.120 It's going to be a process for me because. 26:21.680 --> 26:23.300 Like I said, I haven't given you guys any. 26:24.920 --> 26:25.320 Any. 26:26.660 --> 26:27.060 Details. 26:27.960 --> 26:30.320 And I want, you know, I open up quite a bit. 26:32.360 --> 26:34.760 I open up quite a bit all the time, but. 26:35.260 --> 26:36.260 Shit, that's private. 26:36.580 --> 26:37.480 I got to keep it private. 26:37.740 --> 26:38.200 You know what I'm saying? 26:41.280 --> 26:44.460 And I think you guys will understand that. 26:45.540 --> 26:48.740 I'm not scared to talk about just about anything, but shit. 26:48.840 --> 26:49.300 That's private. 26:49.360 --> 26:50.180 It's got to stay private. 26:50.840 --> 26:51.880 I hope you guys understand. 26:54.820 --> 26:55.620 It's just. 26:57.940 --> 26:59.860 It comes and waves hits me. 27:00.100 --> 27:01.180 You know, sometimes I'm good. 27:02.200 --> 27:05.340 Then other times I don't even expect it, man. 27:05.500 --> 27:06.080 I'll be driving. 27:07.220 --> 27:08.540 Home fucking hits. 27:15.270 --> 27:17.810 Got the streamer pinned. 27:18.510 --> 27:19.470 On rumble. 27:19.890 --> 27:21.930 Then he wants wanting to call in. 27:22.530 --> 27:23.110 Hit it up. 27:23.550 --> 27:25.410 We only have a couple of people on YouTube. 27:25.630 --> 27:26.510 So I'm not going to put it there. 27:29.650 --> 27:30.890 And it's funny. 27:31.270 --> 27:33.230 I got some dedicated haters now. 27:36.310 --> 27:36.910 That. 27:38.670 --> 27:41.670 Before I even start the shows, I don't even give a fuck anymore. 27:41.950 --> 27:43.450 Like I really don't. 27:44.730 --> 27:46.570 I definitely wanted to. 27:46.970 --> 27:47.750 I want to think. 27:49.230 --> 27:50.950 All the people that supported me. 27:53.970 --> 27:56.670 Gave me positive affirmations on Twitter. 27:58.270 --> 27:58.850 Facebook. 27:59.770 --> 28:00.330 Everywhere. 28:02.170 --> 28:04.250 I hadn't used my Facebook. 28:05.410 --> 28:06.650 Account in a. 28:07.230 --> 28:08.510 I hadn't really used it. 28:09.110 --> 28:11.270 I'm going to start putting it in the description. 28:11.510 --> 28:14.570 If you guys are on YouTube, you guys can friend me on there. 28:15.230 --> 28:19.010 I'm going to start sharing more of my private self. 28:19.330 --> 28:22.690 You know, I got a little album there that's for friends only. 28:23.170 --> 28:27.290 Has some pictures, you know, me hanging out with family and stuff. 28:28.010 --> 28:28.410 I'm. 28:31.990 --> 28:34.390 I'm going to try to do some kaizen changes. 28:35.410 --> 28:37.150 To my personal life. 28:40.970 --> 28:45.070 I've been terrible at keeping in touch with friends. 28:47.090 --> 28:48.830 And people in regular in. 28:49.110 --> 28:50.970 In general. 28:52.930 --> 28:54.790 And now that. 28:56.950 --> 28:58.370 Literally have no one. 28:59.930 --> 29:00.470 Sucks. 29:02.450 --> 29:02.990 So. 29:06.750 --> 29:07.770 I'm going to. 29:07.990 --> 29:09.770 I'm going to. 29:09.770 --> 29:10.690 I'm going to try to get. 29:11.650 --> 29:12.470 The made it to. 29:14.050 --> 29:15.170 Being more open. 29:17.150 --> 29:18.410 Be more friendlier. 29:20.030 --> 29:22.510 I have been doing that lately when. 29:23.430 --> 29:25.110 I go to the store or whatever. 29:26.570 --> 29:27.730 I just say good morning. 29:27.870 --> 29:28.370 How are you? 29:28.730 --> 29:29.810 How are you doing today? 29:30.050 --> 29:31.550 You know, not just the hello. 29:31.730 --> 29:32.650 Hi, you know, just. 29:35.010 --> 29:36.590 Get trying to get more people. 29:36.850 --> 29:38.090 I'm trying to do that because. 29:39.190 --> 29:41.750 I do talk a lot here on the show, but when I'm outside. 29:42.190 --> 29:44.290 I'm with the introvert. 29:46.490 --> 29:47.290 Hella introvert. 29:48.670 --> 29:50.550 Which I know surprises people, but. 29:51.330 --> 29:52.170 I'm going to. 29:52.170 --> 29:53.670 I'm going to make an attempt. 29:57.190 --> 30:00.390 I've always been terrible at approaching women too. 30:01.270 --> 30:01.770 And. 30:02.430 --> 30:04.730 I'm going to be searching for a soulmate. 30:05.210 --> 30:05.790 So. 30:06.630 --> 30:07.150 I got to. 30:07.330 --> 30:07.930 I got to learn. 30:08.550 --> 30:10.050 Learn how to talk. 30:10.830 --> 30:11.430 To people. 30:11.770 --> 30:12.050 To women. 30:14.010 --> 30:15.150 That's going to be my. 30:15.650 --> 30:15.830 My. 30:16.150 --> 30:16.570 Kaizen. 30:17.350 --> 30:19.050 Make little incremental changes. 30:19.050 --> 30:20.150 Just say hi to everyone. 30:20.410 --> 30:21.210 I come across. 30:21.850 --> 30:22.730 And talk to them. 30:23.150 --> 30:24.210 It's hard for me. 30:24.330 --> 30:24.770 It's task. 30:26.190 --> 30:28.090 Another kaizen thing that I've. 30:28.650 --> 30:28.990 Done. 30:29.470 --> 30:32.530 In my personal life that has helped me. 30:33.190 --> 30:33.970 Has been. 30:36.310 --> 30:38.170 Doing my bed first thing in the morning. 30:39.150 --> 30:42.010 I've I've never been one to do my bed. 30:42.730 --> 30:45.050 Even when I was a kid, my mom would like. 30:45.490 --> 30:46.410 Do your fucking bed, man. 30:46.530 --> 30:46.930 What the fuck. 30:47.970 --> 30:49.130 I would never do it. 30:49.750 --> 30:51.750 I'd have a fucking disaster. 30:53.490 --> 30:55.130 So there's probably some of you listening. 30:55.270 --> 30:56.070 I always do my bed. 30:56.250 --> 30:57.010 Yeah, that's you. 30:57.530 --> 30:58.950 I was never used to that. 30:59.530 --> 31:01.050 And that's something that I've been doing. 31:01.710 --> 31:03.210 And I know there's a meme of. 31:04.510 --> 31:05.390 Jordan Peterson. 31:05.630 --> 31:05.710 Like. 31:06.350 --> 31:07.210 Pick up your room. 31:10.470 --> 31:11.770 I used to laugh at that. 31:12.170 --> 31:13.710 But now that I've been doing my bed. 31:15.170 --> 31:17.930 I now understand what he meant by that. 31:18.390 --> 31:18.930 Because. 31:21.530 --> 31:25.910 As someone that admittedly is someone that is messy 31:25.910 --> 31:27.430 and has shit strewn about. 31:29.170 --> 31:31.590 Especially now that I've been in this divorce phase. 31:32.270 --> 31:32.650 I've been. 31:33.750 --> 31:36.010 I got used to my spouse doing a lot of shit. 31:37.190 --> 31:40.890 I relied on her and now being doing shit at all. 31:41.250 --> 31:41.950 I'm doing it all. 31:43.190 --> 31:43.790 I'm. 31:46.710 --> 31:49.110 Staying busy has helped me as well. 31:49.670 --> 31:53.350 You know, when I get some real bad thoughts or I'm getting really depressed. 31:54.090 --> 31:55.290 I just start fucking. 31:55.970 --> 31:57.010 Pulling weeds. 31:57.870 --> 31:59.250 Doing all kinds of shit. 31:59.370 --> 32:00.430 I find shit to do. 32:01.690 --> 32:03.690 And that has helped me. 32:04.690 --> 32:07.010 But keeping shit clean. 32:08.850 --> 32:10.830 Does wonders because. 32:12.310 --> 32:14.390 When your room is in disarray. 32:14.630 --> 32:16.950 Your mind is going to be in disarray. 32:17.550 --> 32:20.690 You start leaving shit tidy and clean and organized. 32:20.970 --> 32:24.590 Which is not something that I'm naturally good at or have ever been at. 32:25.030 --> 32:25.490 You know what I mean? 32:25.970 --> 32:28.230 So I'm saying that from for me. 32:28.410 --> 32:30.070 I'm not picking on anyone at all. 32:30.630 --> 32:31.290 I don't know you guys. 32:31.470 --> 32:32.310 I don't know how you guys live. 32:32.610 --> 32:33.490 I'm talking about me. 32:33.730 --> 32:36.170 I've always been disorganized and spontaneous. 32:36.850 --> 32:39.670 That's kind of what makes makes my show because I don't go out. 32:39.750 --> 32:40.570 No goddamn script. 32:40.570 --> 32:42.930 I just fucking go off of the top of the dome. 32:43.090 --> 32:44.010 I don't know what's going to happen. 32:45.370 --> 32:46.990 And that's good sometimes. 32:48.010 --> 32:50.330 But other times you do need to be organized. 32:50.910 --> 32:54.450 And so I'm I'm trying to train myself to be more organized. 32:54.770 --> 32:55.490 I'm writing notes. 32:56.830 --> 33:01.250 I'm being keeping budgets and tallies for my money. 33:03.610 --> 33:07.010 And I've noticed when my room is clean like my studio. 33:07.970 --> 33:08.490 Flashroom. 33:11.350 --> 33:12.410 I feel good. 33:12.690 --> 33:15.170 I feel like I can think and muse. 33:16.250 --> 33:19.290 And feel at peace because my shits in order. 33:20.790 --> 33:25.090 Where areas when my shits fucking strewn about and this I can't find this and that. 33:25.590 --> 33:27.430 My mind is also in disarray. 33:27.930 --> 33:31.610 So that's been another little kaizen thing that I've implemented. 33:31.930 --> 33:36.070 It started with just doing my bed as soon as I wake up. 33:38.130 --> 33:40.090 And I've been doing it religiously. 33:40.290 --> 33:40.950 Boom. Wake up. 33:41.090 --> 33:41.990 Boom. Before I go to work. 33:42.130 --> 33:43.010 Boom. Let's get it done. 33:44.350 --> 33:45.130 I come home. 33:45.290 --> 33:46.110 I'm like, oh, hell yeah. 33:46.270 --> 33:48.410 Just that tiny little movement. 33:50.970 --> 33:52.470 Makes a world of a difference. 33:53.250 --> 33:53.750 You know what I'm saying? 33:57.970 --> 33:58.610 Let's see. 33:59.690 --> 34:00.310 I had some. 34:00.810 --> 34:01.790 I think I had some notes. 34:01.790 --> 34:03.790 Yeah, because kaizen. 34:05.310 --> 34:06.890 If you really think about it. 34:08.910 --> 34:11.490 You're not supposed to change your life. 34:13.450 --> 34:15.190 You're supposed to change your day. 34:18.410 --> 34:19.830 And your day. 34:21.250 --> 34:23.630 Is what is what's going to change your life. 34:25.190 --> 34:26.190 Does that make sense? 34:26.630 --> 34:27.790 I think that's powerful right there. 34:28.230 --> 34:28.690 Think about that. 34:29.510 --> 34:30.750 That's the same burnout. 34:31.550 --> 34:34.050 Scenario, you know, I'm going to make these massive changes. 34:34.170 --> 34:35.430 I'm going to and you're going to get burnt out. 34:35.770 --> 34:36.390 You can't do that. 34:37.650 --> 34:38.890 One tiny little step. 34:39.090 --> 34:40.210 So one tiny little step is. 34:41.330 --> 34:42.090 Every day. 34:43.030 --> 34:44.190 You make a change. 34:46.390 --> 34:47.790 And then those changes accumulate. 34:49.310 --> 34:49.770 They compound. 34:51.830 --> 34:53.870 And that's how you become a better human being. 34:54.550 --> 34:57.430 So I'm implementing a bunch of little things that I've never done before. 34:58.230 --> 34:58.910 It's helping me. 35:00.550 --> 35:03.870 I was even doing kaizen before I even knew what kaizen was. 35:04.970 --> 35:05.710 When I was at work. 35:06.630 --> 35:09.670 A lot of my buddies, they just listen to the radio all fucking day. 35:09.790 --> 35:12.850 And it's the same six, seven songs that play every hour. 35:15.010 --> 35:15.490 And. 35:17.710 --> 35:19.750 At one point I said this shit sucks. 35:20.810 --> 35:22.110 I want to listen to audiobooks. 35:23.650 --> 35:27.930 I want to listen to this stuff that's going to engage me. 35:30.110 --> 35:32.790 Stuff that's going to make me into a better individual. 35:35.150 --> 35:36.910 And so that's a form of kaizen. 35:37.970 --> 35:38.710 Some people. 35:39.710 --> 35:42.190 Let's say you, you want to read books. 35:43.770 --> 35:46.570 But you haven't read books in a long time and you don't know. 35:47.110 --> 35:50.530 You know, some people will say, should I haven't read a book in a long time? 35:50.610 --> 35:55.130 And they get a book and they start reading 10, 15, 20 pages right out the gate. 35:55.790 --> 35:57.430 Then they kind of get worn out. 35:57.430 --> 36:00.410 Then they never pick up or open that book ever again. 36:01.310 --> 36:06.230 You know how you could read that fucking book, read one page every day. 36:07.750 --> 36:10.970 And in one year, you'll probably have read that entire book. 36:12.290 --> 36:12.930 Think about that. 36:14.090 --> 36:19.690 One page, process it, read that page, process all of it, put it away. 36:20.550 --> 36:22.330 Tomorrow you read the second page. 36:24.690 --> 36:27.190 Then the third page, fourth page. 36:27.890 --> 36:32.030 And so if it's a 300 page book of a little fat fucker. 36:32.610 --> 36:36.190 At the end of the year, you have, you may, you will have read it. 36:37.270 --> 36:38.590 That's kaizen in action. 36:41.370 --> 36:45.870 This is so I hope you guys are understanding kaizen isn't about making massive 36:45.870 --> 36:48.690 changes right out the gates because that's going to fuck with you. 36:49.130 --> 36:50.170 That's going to burn you out. 36:50.450 --> 36:51.470 You're going to burn yourself out. 36:52.770 --> 36:54.470 Tiny incremental changes. 36:56.050 --> 37:01.490 That will eventually compound into massive bigger changes. 37:05.090 --> 37:08.850 I don't think anyone wants to call in. 37:09.190 --> 37:10.730 So going to wrap things up. 37:12.150 --> 37:16.010 I want to, I want to thank everyone that made it out. 37:17.990 --> 37:20.570 Didn't have too many people, but I haven't done a show in a long time. 37:20.570 --> 37:23.050 So I want to thank George O'Brien. 37:23.570 --> 37:23.890 Hell yeah. 37:26.650 --> 37:27.810 Much love George. 37:28.150 --> 37:28.470 Hell yeah. 37:31.630 --> 37:32.310 Rulona. 37:33.390 --> 37:34.050 Frankie. 37:34.370 --> 37:34.590 Hell yeah. 37:35.270 --> 37:35.970 Secret squirrel. 37:36.270 --> 37:36.610 Fuck yeah. 37:36.950 --> 37:37.530 It's my homegirl. 37:38.870 --> 37:40.510 Rocky USA Blake. 37:41.170 --> 37:41.570 What's up? 37:44.950 --> 37:47.470 Sit your house in it. 37:48.370 --> 37:49.490 I think that's your name. 37:50.570 --> 37:52.470 And Ashley, of course, Phil. 37:52.910 --> 37:53.350 What's up, Phil? 37:55.070 --> 37:56.330 Yo, what's up, dude? 37:56.770 --> 38:00.070 And the weekend Jew hunter. 38:02.770 --> 38:04.610 He'll Billy pirate tear. 38:08.010 --> 38:11.270 And yeah, Brad Brad's outer. 38:13.330 --> 38:14.430 Thank you guys. 38:16.190 --> 38:17.290 You guys are awesome. 38:17.290 --> 38:21.130 And then everyone behind the scenes that reached out to me privately. 38:23.020 --> 38:23.890 There was quite a few. 38:24.090 --> 38:24.610 I was surprised. 38:24.970 --> 38:26.030 And every time I got. 38:26.770 --> 38:27.330 Message. 38:27.870 --> 38:32.110 I may not have responded with a lot of words in return. 38:33.570 --> 38:35.770 But I did appreciate it. 38:36.090 --> 38:36.770 And thank you guys. 38:37.530 --> 38:39.150 It's been, it's been awesome. 38:40.810 --> 38:44.950 To know that people that I've never met in person. 38:46.190 --> 38:47.270 Care about me. 38:47.490 --> 38:50.230 You know, it's pretty fucking cool. 38:51.970 --> 38:54.350 I wish you motherfuckers were right here. 38:56.570 --> 38:58.630 Because out here, it's lonely. 38:59.730 --> 39:02.130 I get real fucking lonely sometimes, you know. 39:04.510 --> 39:06.730 I haven't smashed ass in months. 39:07.590 --> 39:07.910 So. 39:08.970 --> 39:10.550 That's driving me insane, too. 39:12.630 --> 39:16.490 But I need to learn to socialize again. 39:17.050 --> 39:18.410 And meet people. 39:19.750 --> 39:20.410 And. 39:22.650 --> 39:27.690 That'll hopefully hopefully cure my loneliness that that I've been going through at the moment. 39:29.010 --> 39:29.070 So. 39:31.390 --> 39:32.790 Raz 23. 39:33.130 --> 39:33.910 What's up, Alexis? 39:41.280 --> 39:42.860 Thank you guys for making it. 39:45.280 --> 39:48.720 Me and Ricky verandas ripple effect podcast. 39:50.360 --> 39:52.360 We're we're going to do a swap cast. 39:53.680 --> 39:54.540 Ricky's cool. 39:56.180 --> 39:59.560 He was the one that inspired me to do my podcast. 39:59.780 --> 40:06.220 I know I know some of y'all will probably disagree with some of his views these days, but he's a good dude. 40:06.760 --> 40:10.800 And he's he's been my friend for many years and. 40:12.540 --> 40:16.420 Again, he's actually the dude that inspired me to get up into my show. 40:16.640 --> 40:18.100 So that'll be a good show. 40:19.600 --> 40:21.260 And as soon as I start. 40:22.420 --> 40:23.900 I just took time off. 40:24.180 --> 40:26.600 I didn't even think about the fucking podcast or nothing. 40:28.760 --> 40:31.440 I just too much on my fucking mind, man. 40:33.040 --> 40:35.180 Too much if some of the shit. 40:36.300 --> 40:38.720 If you guys knew you'd be like, what the fuck? 40:41.340 --> 40:42.200 It's crazy. 40:42.420 --> 40:43.680 It's crazy, but. 40:47.060 --> 40:48.060 It's also private. 40:48.380 --> 40:54.540 So it's, you know, I'm dealing with it and I'm going to come out stronger. 40:55.480 --> 40:58.680 I want to be a bad motherfucker after all this. 41:00.860 --> 41:03.840 If I can get through this, I'll be able to handle fucking anything. 41:04.220 --> 41:04.640 You know what I'm saying? 41:09.160 --> 41:09.820 What's love y'all?