WEBVTT

01:20.880 --> 01:22.440
and welcome to the Beth of Fresh Air.

01:22.880 --> 01:25.400
And I want to introduce you to my very, very good friend,

01:25.700 --> 01:25.900
Melanie.

01:26.340 --> 01:26.560
Aw.

01:27.840 --> 01:29.320
She has a last name too.

01:31.040 --> 01:32.340
So good to be here.

01:32.520 --> 01:33.980
Yeah, yeah, super nice.

01:34.700 --> 01:36.780
Yeah, your word of the year is Align.

01:37.080 --> 01:37.400
Align.

01:37.520 --> 01:37.940
Is that the fun correct?

01:38.140 --> 01:40.300
You're talking about this and yeah, about that?

01:40.600 --> 01:40.840
Yes.

01:41.000 --> 01:42.600
And here we are aligning.

01:42.920 --> 01:43.760
We are aligning.

01:44.260 --> 01:44.760
We are aligning.

01:45.480 --> 01:47.980
I've just really done a lot of meditating

01:47.980 --> 01:52.180
about the energy and what is kind of forecasting

01:52.180 --> 01:57.140
for my trajectory moving forward this year.

01:57.340 --> 01:59.660
And it wasn't about being really busy

01:59.660 --> 02:03.540
and trying to exert extra force,

02:03.840 --> 02:06.760
but to align from the inside

02:06.760 --> 02:09.560
so that things can come to me

02:09.560 --> 02:14.000
in the timing that I'm ready for them

02:14.000 --> 02:16.620
instead of trying to manipulate them to come in sooner.

02:17.060 --> 02:17.460
Nice.

02:17.780 --> 02:19.200
Yeah, it's a really big theme.

02:19.660 --> 02:21.540
Welcome to the Beth of Fresh Air.

02:21.860 --> 02:23.560
If you're here, come and say hello in the chat.

02:23.740 --> 02:25.340
We always love to have your comments

02:26.060 --> 02:28.200
and let us know if you can hear us okay.

02:28.380 --> 02:30.260
That would be awesome just because we're dealing

02:30.260 --> 02:33.200
with a little bit of a primitive system here.

02:33.420 --> 02:34.680
I'm not super set up,

02:34.720 --> 02:36.140
but I couldn't resist the opportunity

02:36.140 --> 02:37.440
since you were here in person.

02:37.880 --> 02:41.200
So yeah, let me know if you can hear us good.

02:41.440 --> 02:43.540
We're gonna be talking about my favorite subject

02:43.540 --> 02:44.700
and I think Melanie,

02:44.700 --> 02:47.100
it's become one of yours too, deprogramming.

02:47.780 --> 02:48.540
And as you noticed,

02:48.720 --> 02:51.260
I always put a verb in the title of my streams

02:52.240 --> 02:55.580
and they, so it's always giving you some indication

02:55.580 --> 02:58.000
to in this case, deprogramming.

02:58.280 --> 03:01.800
Hello, Mrs. Occidental Alchemist, nice to see you.

03:02.220 --> 03:04.440
Good to be here live, glad you are around

03:04.440 --> 03:05.980
and the sound is great, excellent.

03:06.160 --> 03:07.560
Good to know Rebecca, thank you.

03:07.860 --> 03:10.160
Loud and clear Jackie, great to have you here.

03:10.840 --> 03:12.120
And that's awesome.

03:12.260 --> 03:13.880
Yeah, so we're gonna get down to it.

03:13.880 --> 03:16.700
It's funny, we had some time together before

03:16.700 --> 03:21.180
we shared a lunch and how do you like my hair, Melanie, did it?

03:22.160 --> 03:24.340
I got a nice haircut and a little,

03:24.540 --> 03:26.940
I don't get curls very often, so I'm pretty happy.

03:27.120 --> 03:28.500
She has her nice curls as well.

03:28.580 --> 03:29.860
So it's more alignment,

03:30.240 --> 03:31.760
there's a lot of alignment going on right here.

03:31.760 --> 03:33.440
Alignment, this was, yeah.

03:33.660 --> 03:35.180
I was originally supposed to come and see Beth

03:35.180 --> 03:37.340
on Tuesday, we had made plans.

03:37.600 --> 03:40.920
And then the universe kind of crumbled them out

03:41.480 --> 03:42.980
just to come and do a haircut.

03:42.980 --> 03:45.740
And then when I told her my other option was Friday,

03:45.800 --> 03:48.080
she was like, hey, since you're here,

03:48.220 --> 03:49.640
would you like to come on this podcast?

03:49.940 --> 03:52.900
So this is the alignment, I think that,

03:53.120 --> 03:55.660
I feel like I am where I need to be at this moment.

03:55.700 --> 03:58.000
And this is really a really wonderful opportunity

03:58.000 --> 04:00.660
to talk about the work I've been doing

04:00.660 --> 04:03.900
that I have taken in some of the courses

04:03.900 --> 04:05.020
and things that you were offered

04:05.020 --> 04:10.700
and the value and some suffering, of course.

04:10.700 --> 04:14.540
But the value that it brings on the other end

04:14.540 --> 04:16.700
and keeping the suffering, I think,

04:16.740 --> 04:19.980
to a minimal is key and learning those tools.

04:20.320 --> 04:24.720
So I'm here to share some of that about my journey.

04:25.280 --> 04:25.740
That's beautiful.

04:26.080 --> 04:27.800
Yeah, yeah, before we get into it,

04:27.800 --> 04:30.400
just to follow up on what you said,

04:30.500 --> 04:33.540
that I'm a big fan of taking the unnecessary suffering

04:33.540 --> 04:34.440
out of the deal.

04:34.880 --> 04:37.540
Because it looks like suffering is part and parcel

04:37.540 --> 04:39.140
of our world here.

04:39.410 --> 04:41.700
There are certain things you just, you can't bypass.

04:42.280 --> 04:44.900
There is loss, there is illness, there's death.

04:45.700 --> 04:50.600
And so we have to accommodate for that

04:51.130 --> 04:52.980
rather than thinking, oh, someday

04:52.980 --> 04:54.660
I'm never gonna have any suffering.

04:55.040 --> 05:00.380
But the degree to which that we would elongate that

05:00.380 --> 05:05.400
and make it static and still and stop it from moving

05:05.400 --> 05:07.340
and stick it somewhere in our bodies,

05:07.340 --> 05:09.700
which I think we're both extremely familiar

05:09.700 --> 05:11.900
with having done to a degree.

05:12.460 --> 05:13.440
Do you wanna start, Melanie,

05:13.580 --> 05:16.420
by telling us where you were at when we met?

05:17.400 --> 05:18.300
Sure, yes.

05:18.920 --> 05:24.460
I had went through cancer treatment for breast cancer

05:25.200 --> 05:30.680
and I felt that there was something deeper to this journey.

05:31.800 --> 05:35.880
It seemed like the medical team I had in intact

05:36.720 --> 05:41.040
wasn't able to hear what I had to say about different things

05:41.040 --> 05:42.620
and I challenged them.

05:42.960 --> 05:47.480
And I knew that I was going against my internal healing

05:47.480 --> 05:49.640
capacities or it felt like that,

05:49.820 --> 05:55.220
that I was allowing somebody else to access to my body

05:55.220 --> 05:56.240
to heal it.

05:56.740 --> 05:58.800
And part of me kind of felt that I knew that,

05:58.900 --> 06:03.280
but at that time being in the emotion of fear

06:03.680 --> 06:05.400
it clouds the judgment.

06:05.800 --> 06:09.060
I feel like had I known the deprogramming tools

06:09.060 --> 06:11.100
or the emotional release technique

06:11.100 --> 06:12.940
or how to spiral the emotion

06:13.500 --> 06:16.500
or dissolve the programming around that,

06:16.640 --> 06:18.140
I could have made clearer decisions.

06:18.920 --> 06:21.700
So I found that it felt like for me

06:21.700 --> 06:27.080
that I had betraying my own systems in that sense

06:27.080 --> 06:28.380
and giving that power away,

06:28.440 --> 06:32.400
which was very in the shadow of the victim.

06:34.260 --> 06:39.300
So when I met Beth, she was on stage at IAM in Toulon

06:39.300 --> 06:42.240
and she said some words about cancer

06:42.240 --> 06:44.220
and I was sketching at the time,

06:44.380 --> 06:47.520
I'm looking for answers out there and she said something

06:48.140 --> 06:50.620
and it was like a beacon went off

06:50.620 --> 06:52.740
and I was like, oh my gosh, there's someone here

06:52.740 --> 06:54.200
that might have some insight

06:54.200 --> 06:57.920
or that she knows what the journey has been

06:57.920 --> 06:59.980
all about going through that herself.

07:00.680 --> 07:03.120
And she was a presenter,

07:03.420 --> 07:05.340
I didn't see her particular talk,

07:05.360 --> 07:07.060
but she was playing some music

07:07.060 --> 07:10.260
and it's like something took me over,

07:10.960 --> 07:14.100
took over me and I walked right up to her

07:14.100 --> 07:16.740
and I looked at her and I started talking

07:16.740 --> 07:18.880
and all I remember is myself balling

07:18.880 --> 07:22.780
because I felt like this human can actually see

07:22.780 --> 07:25.100
and resonate with thoughts and feelings

07:25.100 --> 07:26.620
that I may have had.

07:26.620 --> 07:29.840
And she was the only one up to that point.

07:31.140 --> 07:33.300
So then I jumped onto journey code,

07:33.960 --> 07:38.040
still being traumatized from medical intervention,

07:39.660 --> 07:44.700
dysregulated nervous system, still in survival mode.

07:45.380 --> 07:46.660
I pushed through the course

07:46.660 --> 07:49.680
as it triggered a lot of things come up for me.

07:50.380 --> 07:54.000
A lot of things I didn't really take in on that first year.

07:55.740 --> 07:58.240
I dropped out of the program for a while

07:58.240 --> 08:00.860
and just kind of tried to get my life back in order,

08:01.040 --> 08:04.160
but I did find myself falling back

08:04.160 --> 08:06.380
into some of the shadows of the archetypes

08:06.380 --> 08:08.420
and I realized that I was going downward

08:08.420 --> 08:09.880
and not upward again.

08:10.360 --> 08:12.760
So I rejoined as an apprentice

08:12.760 --> 08:16.180
because I think that when you learn how to teach

08:16.180 --> 08:19.040
something, you also absorb the information

08:19.040 --> 08:21.280
or the teachings at a whole another level.

08:21.640 --> 08:24.620
So I became an apprentice for two years.

08:25.440 --> 08:29.020
And now where I'm using all of these things

08:29.020 --> 08:31.420
that I learned is in mostly in group settings,

08:31.620 --> 08:33.200
but some in individual settings

08:33.200 --> 08:36.780
where I've also studied somatics a lot.

08:37.080 --> 08:40.460
So I'm helping people to heal their nervous systems.

08:40.880 --> 08:43.640
And what I've learned about the programs,

08:44.060 --> 08:47.420
things that we installed to try to keep ourselves safe

08:47.420 --> 08:51.000
when we are feeling unsafe or unloved or not in control.

08:52.940 --> 08:55.280
And we cannot heal those things

08:55.280 --> 08:56.820
when we are in survival mode.

08:57.060 --> 09:01.340
So I do group somatic therapies with people

09:01.770 --> 09:07.580
to help them learn how to remember what it's like

09:08.290 --> 09:10.040
to not be in survival mode.

09:10.420 --> 09:12.540
Because when you are in rest and digest,

09:12.880 --> 09:14.240
that's when healing can take place.

09:15.380 --> 09:19.340
And then they can release and let go.

09:19.780 --> 09:24.260
They are more comfortable being inside of their bodies

09:24.260 --> 09:26.420
or actually even just teaching them

09:26.420 --> 09:31.640
how to reintegrate a relationship with their internal

09:33.470 --> 09:35.340
and what those things are saying.

09:35.920 --> 09:38.660
And the tools that you brought forward,

09:39.060 --> 09:43.000
the spiral of emotion, teaching people

09:43.000 --> 09:45.100
what those uncomfortable feelings are

09:45.540 --> 09:49.540
so that they don't suppress and try to keep them hidden.

09:50.120 --> 09:54.080
And this year could be the year that maybe

09:54.080 --> 09:56.780
you start to be friends some of those messengers

09:58.260 --> 10:00.280
because those are the golden nuggets

10:00.280 --> 10:02.360
that you, those are your words.

10:03.020 --> 10:05.420
They are what will set you free.

10:06.240 --> 10:07.740
What I've learned is the nervous system

10:07.740 --> 10:09.040
is attached to all of it.

10:10.740 --> 10:14.140
So when you learn how to regulate your nervous system,

10:14.200 --> 10:16.400
it will give you ample opportunity to heal

10:16.400 --> 10:19.620
some of the programming that you have adopted.

10:21.380 --> 10:24.180
Yeah, it's so beautiful how the nervous system

10:24.180 --> 10:27.320
and the deprogramming work work together.

10:27.840 --> 10:30.020
And it's like you can come from either angle.

10:30.200 --> 10:33.000
I've been writing a creator code module

10:33.000 --> 10:36.240
for the whole somatic world of breath

10:36.240 --> 10:39.840
and the nervous system and the biggest nervous system

10:39.840 --> 10:40.560
and everything like that.

10:41.440 --> 10:43.940
And so you can come at it.

10:44.340 --> 10:48.040
What I've noticed and defaulted to a fair amount in,

10:48.700 --> 10:50.460
well, I've started out in India

10:50.460 --> 10:52.780
with all of the pranayam, the breath work,

10:53.240 --> 10:56.400
the hacking of the system.

10:56.980 --> 10:58.960
Oh, my nervous system is jacked up.

10:59.120 --> 11:01.460
Therefore I'll use this tool and technique

11:01.460 --> 11:03.400
to bring my nervous system down.

11:03.400 --> 11:06.380
Oh, I'm lethargic and feeling apathetic.

11:06.580 --> 11:09.720
I'm gonna use this other hack breath system

11:09.720 --> 11:13.600
to energize me and give me some juice.

11:13.840 --> 11:14.660
We all know it.

11:14.680 --> 11:15.600
Some people use caffeine.

11:15.880 --> 11:16.700
I would if I could.

11:17.760 --> 11:20.860
It's poisonous for my system and everyone's.

11:21.240 --> 11:23.900
But so it's really beautiful

11:23.900 --> 11:27.380
because you can use a hack to a certain degree,

11:27.440 --> 11:29.880
but what do I notice about the hacks

11:30.360 --> 11:31.820
is that they'll work for a time

11:31.820 --> 11:34.840
and then they stop working and you have to keep hacking.

11:35.600 --> 11:38.340
I have something to discuss on that.

11:38.480 --> 11:41.320
Something that I noticed was when you go into,

11:41.740 --> 11:43.580
I started doing my own breath control

11:44.100 --> 11:47.700
even when I was inhaling to account and holding

11:47.700 --> 11:49.920
and then letting the longer exhale go.

11:50.340 --> 11:52.840
I had a sensation come up in my brain.

11:53.360 --> 11:55.740
So I knew that there was something

11:56.200 --> 11:58.120
that I was trying to do there

11:58.120 --> 12:00.920
and what it was was instilling wanting control.

12:02.000 --> 12:03.580
So what happened?

12:03.820 --> 12:06.420
Just for those of you who don't speak our language yet,

12:06.560 --> 12:08.560
that is one of the primary root programs

12:09.080 --> 12:10.560
that everybody deals with.

12:10.760 --> 12:13.920
It's not, I just have to give a commercial for this

12:13.920 --> 12:16.500
for a second because the whole spiritual world

12:16.500 --> 12:20.340
is gonna tell you don't, you're not in control,

12:20.720 --> 12:23.280
surrender your control, let go of control.

12:23.760 --> 12:26.700
And to me, this is absolutely useless advice.

12:27.300 --> 12:29.840
It's not possible and it's not even desirable.

12:30.120 --> 12:32.600
Well, I think the key word is that

12:32.600 --> 12:35.740
is to let go of the wanting of it.

12:35.800 --> 12:36.860
That's it, that's it.

12:37.120 --> 12:38.900
Because it impairs that you are lacking

12:38.900 --> 12:41.680
because we actually do have control

12:41.680 --> 12:44.300
over a lot of our lives.

12:44.460 --> 12:46.000
I mean, some of those things you talked about earlier

12:46.000 --> 12:47.700
that you don't have control of, right?

12:47.820 --> 12:49.560
But you do have control of quite a bit.

12:50.100 --> 12:52.660
So I noticed when I was trying to manipulate my breath

12:52.660 --> 12:56.960
right away, there was trying, there was a something

12:56.960 --> 12:59.080
that was, what do you call that?

12:59.360 --> 13:04.100
Sorry, mechanism that was trying to want for control.

13:04.500 --> 13:06.820
So I just actually sat for a while

13:06.820 --> 13:10.000
and released the wanting of control.

13:10.220 --> 13:13.680
Then I was able to use the breath as a better tool

13:13.680 --> 13:15.620
to regulate the nervous system.

13:15.820 --> 13:16.080
Beautiful.

13:16.660 --> 13:19.200
But I could see how that program was coming in

13:19.200 --> 13:21.900
when immediately I started to try to control the breath.

13:22.500 --> 13:23.560
Exactly, exactly.

13:23.900 --> 13:26.880
Because we'll use the good things of say, like good food

13:26.880 --> 13:29.420
and good techniques and the breath and everything.

13:29.760 --> 13:34.100
But when you use it as a mechanism, unknowingly,

13:34.600 --> 13:38.320
it's actually a kind of weapon that is designed,

13:38.560 --> 13:40.840
in this case, that program is designed to,

13:41.280 --> 13:44.140
if we put it in really dramatic terms, it's a killer.

13:44.940 --> 13:46.900
It says like, oh, low energy.

13:48.640 --> 13:51.000
Hold still and knock your head off.

13:51.600 --> 13:53.480
With some hack, I'm gonna get rid of you.

13:53.600 --> 13:54.460
I'm gonna change you.

13:54.860 --> 13:57.260
I'm gonna put an end to this.

13:57.840 --> 14:02.120
And so when you have that disposition towards yourself

14:02.720 --> 14:07.360
of being a killer or even a lower grade changer

14:07.360 --> 14:10.300
of who you are, it's the same way I just thought of,

14:10.400 --> 14:11.920
when you get a boyfriend and you think,

14:12.040 --> 14:14.560
oh, they could be a really good person, but they're not.

14:14.980 --> 14:16.480
So I can change them.

14:17.560 --> 14:20.460
And then what does that boyfriend usually end up

14:20.460 --> 14:22.720
feeling about you when you do that?

14:22.940 --> 14:23.800
Resentful, probably.

14:23.980 --> 14:25.340
Exactly, they hate you for that.

14:25.420 --> 14:27.920
Because it is a kind of violence.

14:28.260 --> 14:31.040
Yeah, because you're violating their own free will

14:31.040 --> 14:34.520
to make their own decisions to change.

14:35.540 --> 14:35.900
Exactly.

14:36.200 --> 14:38.040
Well, and I find a lot of people too.

14:38.260 --> 14:41.140
I was a bit hesitant to use the words deprogramming

14:41.140 --> 14:46.320
because it felt a bit like, I don't know, odd or culty.

14:47.200 --> 14:49.600
But I realize now after doing the work,

14:49.600 --> 14:52.660
what does that mean for me?

14:53.140 --> 14:56.300
And I think what it was on my journey was,

14:56.800 --> 15:00.120
as moving forward after going through cancer treatment

15:00.120 --> 15:02.600
and who am I?

15:03.340 --> 15:06.800
And I didn't know the answer to that question

15:06.800 --> 15:13.080
because I had so many roles put on personas or ego titles.

15:13.640 --> 15:18.820
And to start dismantling a lot of that is a scary thing.

15:19.600 --> 15:23.980
To realize that, I had attachments to those things.

15:24.320 --> 15:28.320
So releasing the attachments to them kind of freed up,

15:28.840 --> 15:32.060
who am I as an expressive being on this planet?

15:32.460 --> 15:33.700
What do I have to share?

15:33.880 --> 15:35.480
How do I want to express myself?

15:36.120 --> 15:39.300
And if you don't know who you are

15:39.300 --> 15:42.200
because there's so much protective programming in place,

15:42.500 --> 15:43.960
how do you even have a path?

15:44.380 --> 15:46.360
How do you even know where you're going?

15:46.500 --> 15:47.540
How do you know the direction?

15:47.540 --> 15:48.800
How do you have any clarity?

15:50.060 --> 15:50.400
Exactly.

15:50.860 --> 15:53.500
So to me, that's what the deprogramming did

15:53.500 --> 15:55.840
was take everything away that I was not.

15:57.180 --> 15:59.840
All the things that I had adopted in survival mode.

16:00.540 --> 16:02.120
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

16:02.740 --> 16:05.800
That's from the get go when we come to life.

16:05.960 --> 16:09.060
We're invited to take on certain identities.

16:09.480 --> 16:10.940
The first thing is going to be your name

16:11.400 --> 16:12.340
and then your gender.

16:12.900 --> 16:15.240
And then, oh, she likes trucks

16:15.840 --> 16:20.520
or she likes dolls or another overlay of identity.

16:20.780 --> 16:22.940
And then very soon, oh, what direction

16:22.940 --> 16:26.680
are you going to study in and train yourself in

16:26.680 --> 16:31.400
and pigeonhole yourself into, oh, now I am a massage therapist

16:31.400 --> 16:35.420
or I am an engineer or I am all of these things.

16:35.580 --> 16:38.380
And you reach at some point in your life

16:38.380 --> 16:42.320
an identity crisis when you realize, wow, I've taken on

16:42.320 --> 16:44.780
and now I'm a wife or I'm a mother, I'm a teacher,

16:44.780 --> 16:46.000
I'm a this, I'm a that.

16:46.540 --> 16:50.480
But internally, we know ourself not to be that.

16:51.500 --> 16:53.040
Like, we know the truth of it,

16:53.560 --> 16:57.260
even though that mental overlay is there.

16:57.920 --> 17:01.240
So there's a lack of alignment in it.

17:01.680 --> 17:03.240
When, you know, almost everybody,

17:03.420 --> 17:06.320
I remember this in my professional business days,

17:06.920 --> 17:10.080
I read a statistic that 80% of professionals

17:10.080 --> 17:12.140
feel like a fraud in their possession.

17:12.980 --> 17:15.940
In their profession, profession.

17:17.480 --> 17:18.600
Possession is different.

17:18.840 --> 17:19.660
We'll cover that another.

17:19.740 --> 17:21.580
Well, I do you think that could be

17:21.580 --> 17:24.540
because they're not living their true path,

17:24.620 --> 17:28.640
that they're not really being who they really are.

17:28.860 --> 17:31.260
In some sense, they're doing a more of a,

17:33.480 --> 17:38.200
not a personic role or this is what I have to be to fit in.

17:38.400 --> 17:40.460
Yeah, this is what I have to be to make money.

17:40.460 --> 17:44.780
This is what I have to be to have status quo in the world.

17:45.040 --> 17:47.960
Instead of, yeah.

17:48.700 --> 17:50.880
Yeah, instead of doing what you want to do,

17:51.060 --> 17:53.680
what you're passionate about, what you're,

17:54.520 --> 17:56.280
it's kind of like settling a little bit.

17:56.540 --> 17:58.960
Like you settle for that instead of like reaching

17:58.960 --> 18:00.180
your true potential, perhaps.

18:00.640 --> 18:04.980
Exactly, because if you can trade in proving,

18:05.580 --> 18:08.020
getting their love and approval of your family,

18:09.240 --> 18:10.560
I'm going to say this backwards,

18:10.800 --> 18:14.500
but the unconscious mind won't trade in the love

18:14.500 --> 18:18.180
and approval of family for following your own heart and soul.

18:19.200 --> 18:21.000
That's a different stage of life.

18:21.160 --> 18:23.720
In fact, that's halfway through the hero's journey,

18:24.160 --> 18:25.720
the way that I've laid it out,

18:25.880 --> 18:28.380
where you stop asking anybody's permission,

18:28.680 --> 18:30.360
am I okay, am I okay, am I okay?

18:30.600 --> 18:32.580
Seeking validation outside of yourself.

18:33.040 --> 18:33.800
Right, right.

18:34.020 --> 18:36.120
And instead you turn to the divine

18:36.120 --> 18:39.200
for any reflection or need for validation

18:39.200 --> 18:43.800
or sense of like, is this mind to be done?

18:44.500 --> 18:47.900
But the point of identity is even deeper than that,

18:47.960 --> 18:52.380
because when you get on the path of your own passion

18:52.740 --> 18:55.240
and like you do, you get to do what you want.

18:55.840 --> 18:58.900
Right, you make your days, you make your schedule,

18:59.060 --> 19:00.300
you agree to certain things

19:00.820 --> 19:03.660
and it's not like a work a day life,

19:03.660 --> 19:06.620
which I'm not putting anybody down for doing that,

19:06.720 --> 19:08.020
whatever they feel they have to do.

19:08.800 --> 19:10.400
And you get through certain stages.

19:10.520 --> 19:12.500
I actually have now created a document

19:12.500 --> 19:15.120
on the levels of sacred purpose

19:15.800 --> 19:18.220
and how one of the levels is,

19:18.580 --> 19:20.360
I want to do whatever I want

19:21.300 --> 19:23.440
and not have to ask anybody's permission,

19:24.220 --> 19:26.260
but all that does, getting there,

19:26.380 --> 19:28.860
all that does is present new levels.

19:30.160 --> 19:32.780
And so it goes deeper and deeper and deeper

19:32.780 --> 19:35.220
and even though I love teaching,

19:35.480 --> 19:39.220
I love, love, love, I get so much energy from that.

19:39.340 --> 19:42.920
I love coaching, I love the intimate relationship

19:42.920 --> 19:45.440
of that both of those engender.

19:45.720 --> 19:49.940
I love my groups, I love serving the people

19:50.460 --> 19:51.600
who want what I have.

19:51.900 --> 19:56.840
Like I genuinely love that, but it's not actually who I am.

19:57.840 --> 20:00.580
And so that's where your life,

20:00.720 --> 20:01.980
I went through experiences this summer

20:01.980 --> 20:04.420
that you know about that really challenged my identity.

20:04.640 --> 20:06.700
And I thought there was a few minutes

20:06.700 --> 20:08.300
when I thought my work was over,

20:08.840 --> 20:10.480
I thought my independence was over,

20:11.400 --> 20:15.020
I didn't, I thought like, why would I even keep living?

20:15.700 --> 20:17.300
I wasn't exactly suicidal,

20:17.300 --> 20:20.760
but I thought, well, at least I could check out of here.

20:21.920 --> 20:24.300
And really it's because so many levels

20:24.300 --> 20:27.100
of my own persona were dying.

20:28.040 --> 20:30.000
That's, and we talked about this earlier

20:30.000 --> 20:31.960
before we came up is that, you know,

20:32.000 --> 20:34.640
there's a theory in the somatic education world

20:34.640 --> 20:37.000
that the brain doesn't know the difference,

20:37.160 --> 20:38.700
whether you're physically dying

20:38.700 --> 20:41.460
or if you're part of your egoic self

20:42.400 --> 20:46.560
that put you, that you accumulated in survival mode

20:46.560 --> 20:47.820
is dying off.

20:47.820 --> 20:51.620
And it was the year of the snake last year

20:51.620 --> 20:53.400
shedding the skin, right?

20:53.700 --> 20:58.200
So when you are going to elevate yourself in the world,

20:58.200 --> 21:00.520
there is a part of you that has to die off,

21:00.640 --> 21:03.980
the part that is no longer serving you

21:04.420 --> 21:06.360
so that you are able to move forward

21:06.360 --> 21:07.640
in that next growth stage.

21:08.340 --> 21:10.400
Yeah, yeah, you have to die all the time.

21:10.500 --> 21:11.620
Yes, yes.

21:11.660 --> 21:12.800
Become an expert diet.

21:13.240 --> 21:14.880
Yes, yes, yes.

21:15.140 --> 21:21.020
Face the illusion of death within your own mind,

21:21.940 --> 21:25.260
you know, it's funny because out in the world,

21:25.400 --> 21:27.780
you know, people that maybe are into risky more,

21:27.780 --> 21:30.740
risky behavior, I think they face the same thing,

21:30.860 --> 21:32.280
but they're more outwardly doing.

21:33.120 --> 21:36.420
So I see how people navigate sometimes in the world

21:36.420 --> 21:39.860
and outwardly do the things that can also be done internally

21:39.860 --> 21:41.600
and put themself at less risk.

21:42.140 --> 21:45.180
And preserve the absolute preciousness

21:45.180 --> 21:47.680
of the incarnation opportunity that we have here.

21:48.200 --> 21:49.600
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true.

21:49.660 --> 21:51.920
And I think they'll do scary things on the outside

21:51.920 --> 21:53.900
to avoid the scary things on the inside.

21:54.320 --> 21:56.700
Yeah, I wonder if it internally changes

21:57.200 --> 21:58.620
I think it might,

21:58.760 --> 22:00.740
I think there might be growth opportunity from that,

22:00.920 --> 22:02.440
from the action part, which would be,

22:03.000 --> 22:05.140
would you say like the masculine part

22:05.140 --> 22:08.400
of our energy system would be the doing part

22:08.400 --> 22:11.100
where the feminine is more to align and receive.

22:11.580 --> 22:12.300
Yeah, so.

22:12.520 --> 22:13.180
Yeah, exactly.

22:13.180 --> 22:15.280
And just learning how to work with both of those energies.

22:15.820 --> 22:17.080
Right, right, exactly.

22:17.440 --> 22:18.820
Yeah, they're both there, they don't go away.

22:18.940 --> 22:22.740
Yeah, so I think we can have external doing activities

22:22.740 --> 22:24.740
that can internally change us

22:24.740 --> 22:25.880
and we can also do internal.

22:26.900 --> 22:29.960
So I'm just learning how to kind of navigate those two together.

22:30.740 --> 22:31.760
Yeah, and you're exactly right.

22:31.960 --> 22:35.560
It's, you know, the women tend towards this work more easily.

22:35.880 --> 22:38.780
So I just filled my first creator code course.

22:38.900 --> 22:39.680
Yay, I'm so excited.

22:41.000 --> 22:42.080
And God bless them.

22:42.200 --> 22:43.100
There's only one man.

22:43.640 --> 22:44.600
Oh, how nice.

22:44.840 --> 22:45.440
Yeah, yeah.

22:45.620 --> 22:47.000
It's always good to have that reflection.

22:47.440 --> 22:48.660
Yes, it's good to have some.

22:48.920 --> 22:50.160
Yeah, I don't want to pressure him

22:50.160 --> 22:53.000
if you're watching this and it's like really great to have you.

22:53.700 --> 22:57.280
And, but it's, it just is a reflection

22:57.280 --> 23:00.860
that that's easier for women, right?

23:00.960 --> 23:01.920
To spend 12 weeks.

23:02.020 --> 23:06.440
I think it's more natural for women to do the internal

23:06.440 --> 23:07.660
and to receive.

23:07.940 --> 23:09.900
I think it's just, you know,

23:09.960 --> 23:11.460
we have that strong masculinity

23:12.220 --> 23:14.460
and this is referring to males as well,

23:14.520 --> 23:15.880
not like in the physical form,

23:15.880 --> 23:18.860
but we have that like our masculine structure,

23:18.860 --> 23:21.260
the muscles, you know,

23:21.480 --> 23:24.460
I consider them to be very masculine energy,

23:24.660 --> 23:26.000
but then we have the somatic,

23:26.180 --> 23:27.180
which we talked about earlier

23:27.180 --> 23:28.420
and that's the fascia system.

23:28.820 --> 23:31.440
And the fascia system communicates with the muscles

23:31.980 --> 23:34.780
and it covers like a sheath on the muscle.

23:35.220 --> 23:39.760
And when you can release that fascia, you know,

23:39.840 --> 23:41.220
then you can build the strong muscles.

23:41.320 --> 23:43.840
And sometimes we go and build the strong muscles first

23:43.840 --> 23:46.040
and try to fight through the fascia

23:46.040 --> 23:50.200
that has not been lubricated or let go of.

23:50.700 --> 23:52.840
And the fascia holds on to a lot of memories,

23:53.020 --> 23:57.160
memories of trauma, even thought trauma, you know,

23:58.160 --> 24:01.900
when you have, your mind takes in things

24:01.900 --> 24:04.160
and you develop a thought, right?

24:04.520 --> 24:07.020
And then it senses off a message to the body

24:07.020 --> 24:08.040
through the vagus nerve.

24:08.320 --> 24:10.140
And often somewhere in the body,

24:10.140 --> 24:12.020
there'll be a reaction to it.

24:12.020 --> 24:15.580
You may shudder or you contract.

24:16.040 --> 24:18.180
And if you're continuously going

24:18.180 --> 24:21.280
through that same life story,

24:21.840 --> 24:23.940
it will reinforce that behavior

24:24.560 --> 24:27.200
until you go in to those parts

24:27.200 --> 24:29.780
where you are feeling pain

24:29.780 --> 24:31.720
or you're noticing that, you know,

24:31.760 --> 24:34.100
oh, one shoulder leans in or I got a sore hip.

24:35.180 --> 24:40.900
If you can go in there and finish the process,

24:40.900 --> 24:43.300
a lot of times what happens is it gets stuck.

24:43.620 --> 24:46.400
So we experience something that perhaps is scary

24:47.140 --> 24:49.480
and we don't finish the loop.

24:49.600 --> 24:53.680
And the loop kind of gets trapped in a behavior pattern.

24:54.120 --> 24:55.580
And if we can go in there

24:55.580 --> 24:57.980
and check out the emotional content of it,

24:58.400 --> 25:03.300
what the root programs are like wanting safety

25:03.600 --> 25:05.960
or wanting love and approval, wanting control,

25:05.960 --> 25:11.340
wanting oneness and kind of let those wants go

25:11.340 --> 25:14.540
because they are what's hanging on to the nervous system

25:14.540 --> 25:16.560
like meat hooks, you would use that term.

25:17.020 --> 25:20.200
And then, you know, when you release that feeling,

25:21.020 --> 25:22.980
there's just some, there's a lightness

25:22.980 --> 25:25.220
and like a sense of relief where you're like,

25:25.300 --> 25:27.500
oh, I don't have to hold on to that anymore.

25:27.800 --> 25:29.120
Like what a relief that was.

25:29.680 --> 25:32.280
Sometimes there's a core wound underneath, you know,

25:32.360 --> 25:35.620
that you may have installed yourself

25:35.620 --> 25:38.600
that you perhaps weren't good enough or you couldn't win

25:38.600 --> 25:40.620
and you're always going through these same things.

25:40.900 --> 25:42.280
So if you installed it,

25:42.940 --> 25:45.360
that means you also have the power to let it go.

25:46.840 --> 25:48.480
Yeah, that's such a key point.

25:48.840 --> 25:52.200
You have that authority to make that decision

25:52.720 --> 25:55.820
to do I now want to carry this wound with me

25:56.380 --> 25:59.540
and perhaps sink into a bit of a victim hood

25:59.540 --> 26:03.200
or do like coming out of the victim archetype power,

26:03.400 --> 26:04.100
can you empower?

26:04.710 --> 26:08.940
Well, if you, you know, have the power to do that

26:09.730 --> 26:11.460
and put that mechanism in place,

26:11.720 --> 26:16.300
you have that authority to lovingly, you know,

26:16.420 --> 26:19.920
thank it for being there and say, I've got this now,

26:20.080 --> 26:22.540
I can let you go with love

26:22.540 --> 26:24.860
and not coming from a place I hate.

26:25.220 --> 26:30.920
And so learning compassion and empathy for your protection

26:31.750 --> 26:32.980
that you installed.

26:34.420 --> 26:34.860
Exactly.

26:35.500 --> 26:37.800
Yeah, and we talk about it in the truth and freedom world.

26:37.800 --> 26:42.320
It's like, oh, you know, that bad guy is programming me

26:42.320 --> 26:44.860
and you'll probably still hear me say it

26:44.860 --> 26:46.920
in those kind of same charts.

26:47.120 --> 26:49.380
It is out there, right?

26:49.640 --> 26:51.420
For us to see and hear constantly.

26:51.880 --> 26:52.380
Right, right.

26:52.400 --> 26:53.560
They're literally telling you

26:53.560 --> 26:55.940
to put a poison injection in your arm, right?

26:56.100 --> 26:59.800
Like that sounds like programming, safe and effective.

27:00.040 --> 27:00.920
There's some, you know,

27:00.940 --> 27:03.180
but these are more the makings of programming

27:03.180 --> 27:08.180
and that's where I get more into the fine points of,

27:08.360 --> 27:10.140
okay, so they're telling us this

27:10.140 --> 27:11.720
and they're scaring us with this

27:11.720 --> 27:13.140
and they're, you know, telling everybody

27:13.140 --> 27:15.200
that there's a climate's changing

27:15.200 --> 27:17.700
and we're going to have some disasters

27:17.700 --> 27:19.700
and it's all your fault, by the way,

27:20.180 --> 27:21.740
what you, oh, you bought the saran wrap.

27:22.300 --> 27:24.540
Oh, no, do that.

27:24.880 --> 27:29.360
And so, you know, you end up playing both sides of it.

27:29.440 --> 27:32.380
On the one hand, say for more people like us,

27:32.380 --> 27:35.620
we might rebel against that and fight and get angry

27:35.620 --> 27:38.280
and like say, you're lying like this

27:38.980 --> 27:40.560
and then there's going to be the people

27:40.560 --> 27:43.800
who just succumb to it and like, ooh, I'm frightened.

27:44.000 --> 27:45.560
So I'll do whatever you say,

27:45.700 --> 27:48.500
but it doesn't matter which of these sides you're on

27:48.500 --> 27:52.440
because you are basically giving the authority

27:52.440 --> 27:56.640
of your own programming to that thing

27:56.640 --> 27:58.620
or that message or that voice.

27:59.240 --> 28:01.840
When like Melanie is saying in reality

28:01.840 --> 28:03.260
just to repeat or emphasize,

28:04.080 --> 28:06.140
it's we have to internally decide,

28:06.460 --> 28:09.280
even if it's entirely, well, I don't want to qualify,

28:09.680 --> 28:11.560
it's always entirely unconscious,

28:12.280 --> 28:14.100
the decision to program ourselves.

28:14.420 --> 28:16.760
Yeah, yeah, we didn't like, we didn't stop and go,

28:16.840 --> 28:18.140
oh, I'm going to do this now.

28:18.460 --> 28:20.720
You know, it's all in that unconscious,

28:21.900 --> 28:23.260
subconscious, unconscious.

28:24.100 --> 28:27.300
I just say unconscious for simplicity's sake.

28:27.580 --> 28:28.200
Okay, yeah.

28:28.340 --> 28:30.520
Yeah, I know that the whole Freudian system.

28:30.520 --> 28:32.080
What's the right label for that?

28:32.220 --> 28:32.540
I don't know.

28:32.580 --> 28:32.960
Yeah.

28:33.320 --> 28:35.880
It's just somewhere in the shadows, you know,

28:35.960 --> 28:37.760
that you're not aware of.

28:38.140 --> 28:38.580
That's it.

28:38.660 --> 28:44.100
Until you can slip into, I think that parasympathetic,

28:44.420 --> 28:46.040
where it becomes aware.

28:46.980 --> 28:49.140
You feel safe enough to have a look at it now

28:49.140 --> 28:51.940
because you've tucked it away at some point.

28:52.320 --> 28:54.860
Right, there's less noise in the signal.

28:55.380 --> 28:57.780
So because when you're in that sympathetic mode,

28:57.820 --> 28:58.820
everything's firing.

28:59.560 --> 29:01.620
Before the interview, Melanie had a nice,

29:02.360 --> 29:04.240
like just a lay down, she got quiet

29:04.700 --> 29:08.980
and I'm handling 27 last second little details that are,

29:09.460 --> 29:11.520
and so I can feel, yep, I'm absolutely

29:11.520 --> 29:12.660
in the sympathetic mode.

29:12.960 --> 29:15.940
When I close my eyes for a whole half a minute before,

29:16.640 --> 29:19.060
I could feel my brain searching for,

29:19.200 --> 29:19.880
did I miss anything?

29:20.020 --> 29:20.760
Did I miss anything?

29:21.000 --> 29:22.960
So it's still very much in the sympathetic.

29:22.960 --> 29:26.560
And so this is something that,

29:28.020 --> 29:29.900
you know, it's not to say one is better than the other.

29:30.060 --> 29:31.520
We have both for a reason.

29:31.860 --> 29:32.540
Yes, we do, yeah.

29:32.740 --> 29:37.880
But if we spend 99.9% of our time in the sympathetic mode,

29:38.420 --> 29:40.460
then we don't have that healing time.

29:40.800 --> 29:41.000
Yes.

29:41.340 --> 29:43.440
And deprogramming can be done,

29:43.780 --> 29:46.700
but it's more likely that you're going to become

29:46.700 --> 29:50.560
proficient at it when you're in the parasympathetic.

29:50.780 --> 29:52.620
Do you want to describe what parasympathetic means

29:52.620 --> 29:54.900
for those people who don't use those terms by the way?

29:55.100 --> 29:56.880
Yeah, I think so.

29:57.160 --> 30:00.340
What sympathetic nervous system is, is action oriented,

30:00.640 --> 30:01.700
but not always.

30:02.480 --> 30:05.900
So, you know, it's just a response to something

30:05.900 --> 30:10.000
that you are taking in and you're having a reaction.

30:10.620 --> 30:13.860
So whether you fight or you flee

30:13.860 --> 30:17.580
or you tend and befriend or sometimes called fawn

30:18.960 --> 30:24.040
or you're overstimulate, like it'll overstimulate hyper arousal.

30:25.500 --> 30:25.980
Hyper vigilance.

30:26.160 --> 30:28.260
Hyper vigilance, things like that.

30:28.720 --> 30:32.160
And sometimes we get stuck in those modes.

30:33.060 --> 30:36.340
Yes, they're helpful when you have a tiger chasing you.

30:36.580 --> 30:39.020
You are going to want your legs to kick in and run away.

30:39.480 --> 30:40.500
So yes, yes.

30:40.840 --> 30:42.620
Right, but even a live stream to start, right?

30:42.780 --> 30:43.500
Like it's useful.

30:44.140 --> 30:45.840
Well, and it's something, yeah, it's useful,

30:45.840 --> 30:48.440
but it's also perceived threats that aren't there.

30:49.480 --> 30:52.540
You know, like thoughts or ideas that you have

30:52.540 --> 30:55.220
about your experience that you're going to have

30:55.220 --> 30:59.020
even coming on a podcast, like the experience that, you know,

30:59.120 --> 31:01.540
it's not going to go right or something and fear kicks in.

31:01.680 --> 31:03.380
That's a sympathetic nervous system response.

31:03.780 --> 31:04.000
Yeah.

31:04.120 --> 31:05.920
You know, things like that,

31:05.980 --> 31:08.720
but things that you perceive as threats that aren't real.

31:09.080 --> 31:09.420
Right.

31:09.700 --> 31:13.500
So you can still have a sympathetic response.

31:13.500 --> 31:15.980
But from what I understand about that

31:15.980 --> 31:18.240
and through the things I went through,

31:18.480 --> 31:22.540
it does put you into a victim state

31:22.540 --> 31:25.680
and it also puts you into a bit of a lack

31:26.440 --> 31:28.920
because then you're lacking safety

31:28.920 --> 31:31.900
or you're lacking control or did you get it right?

31:32.120 --> 31:33.520
So I think that's maybe when,

31:33.960 --> 31:35.400
just saying this now for the first time,

31:35.540 --> 31:37.400
maybe that's when programming is installed.

31:38.940 --> 31:41.760
The shift into parasympathetic on the other hand

31:41.760 --> 31:43.220
is rest and digest.

31:43.740 --> 31:46.920
And that's where the healing takes place

31:46.920 --> 31:49.040
because you're not healing in survival mode.

31:49.500 --> 31:51.800
You're just trying to get by and live.

31:53.300 --> 31:56.260
And then when you become accustomed to living

31:56.260 --> 31:59.820
in that state to shift into parasympathetic

31:59.820 --> 32:01.800
or rest and digest is uncomfortable.

32:03.540 --> 32:06.320
It is a threat to the way you have been living

32:06.320 --> 32:08.000
and your nervous system knows that.

32:08.540 --> 32:11.600
And that's why some people may,

32:11.920 --> 32:15.520
myself included, had a hard time learning how to relax,

32:16.820 --> 32:21.280
learning without guilt or whatever else came up, right?

32:21.700 --> 32:25.640
Because I was so accustomed to running a certain way.

32:25.760 --> 32:28.100
It's like a car engine that's collaborated too high

32:28.600 --> 32:30.000
and that becomes your norm.

32:30.620 --> 32:34.480
So when you do start to shift over and navigate...

32:34.480 --> 32:34.780
Calibrate.

32:35.000 --> 32:35.580
Calibrated.

32:35.740 --> 32:35.960
Thank you.

32:35.960 --> 32:36.700
Yeah, Calibrate.

32:36.900 --> 32:37.360
Take me on.

32:37.960 --> 32:42.960
And so it does take some patience with yourself

32:43.480 --> 32:48.000
and relearning how to regulate yourself.

32:49.200 --> 32:50.680
So self-regulation tools.

32:51.740 --> 32:52.780
Yeah, exactly.

32:53.900 --> 32:55.920
The ability to answer your question.

32:56.420 --> 32:57.580
Yeah, yeah, perfectly, perfectly.

32:58.160 --> 33:01.880
Yeah, it's interesting because say with any pulls,

33:02.460 --> 33:03.980
parasympathetic and sympathetic sides

33:03.980 --> 33:04.680
of the nervous system,

33:04.680 --> 33:07.760
the active and the rest and digest sides,

33:08.360 --> 33:10.920
it's as if they're opposing each other.

33:11.300 --> 33:12.880
Same with masculine and feminine.

33:13.840 --> 33:17.820
It's as if they're polar opposites and opposing each other.

33:18.180 --> 33:19.160
Yeah, that would make sense

33:19.160 --> 33:21.500
because I think the sympathetic would be more masculine

33:21.500 --> 33:23.720
where the other one is more feminine to receive.

33:24.060 --> 33:25.540
Right, but just to finish the thought there,

33:26.180 --> 33:32.060
that I suspect that they're actually not opposite at all,

33:32.060 --> 33:35.160
that they work perfectly together in tandem.

33:35.840 --> 33:36.520
Just the way...

33:36.520 --> 33:37.000
In unity.

33:37.460 --> 33:40.580
In unity, there isn't one without the other.

33:40.700 --> 33:43.500
Now, it doesn't mean I'm not denying that you can't,

33:43.500 --> 33:47.040
that people don't get into hyper-vigilance

33:47.040 --> 33:49.540
and always stimulated.

33:49.840 --> 33:51.480
And like you said, so uncomfortable

33:52.080 --> 33:54.020
if you are still in that.

33:54.120 --> 33:54.920
I remember honestly,

33:55.020 --> 33:57.140
when I first started doing meditation

33:57.140 --> 33:58.520
in my university days,

33:59.240 --> 34:00.940
five minutes was the max,

34:02.400 --> 34:04.440
absolute maximum for sitting still.

34:05.100 --> 34:06.960
And then I'm like kind of growing out of my skin.

34:07.780 --> 34:09.520
Yeah, it's like, I gotta go,

34:10.340 --> 34:12.300
because the nervous system starts to panic

34:12.300 --> 34:13.340
because it's not familiar.

34:13.940 --> 34:15.160
And you could say also,

34:15.260 --> 34:17.300
you've become aware of a nervous system

34:17.300 --> 34:18.480
that is not at rest.

34:19.280 --> 34:21.680
And yes, it could panic you as well.

34:22.140 --> 34:24.060
But just the awareness,

34:24.800 --> 34:26.780
there was one year when I really focused in

34:26.780 --> 34:29.540
on just being aware of my body

34:29.540 --> 34:31.340
and my flesh to the next level.

34:31.500 --> 34:32.540
Like we think we all do that,

34:32.580 --> 34:35.240
but you'd be surprised how disassociated,

34:35.720 --> 34:36.680
how many levels exactly.

34:37.060 --> 34:41.040
And I remember when I feel like I finally got in

34:41.040 --> 34:43.500
and really understood what embodiment

34:43.500 --> 34:45.860
was on a practical level, not just an idea.

34:46.620 --> 34:48.300
And it was so uncomfortable.

34:48.600 --> 34:49.120
It was just like,

34:51.260 --> 34:52.700
like this, right?

34:52.700 --> 34:56.820
So, yeah, so foreign and so strange

34:56.820 --> 34:58.980
and as if I've never been there before

34:58.980 --> 35:00.200
or something like that.

35:00.480 --> 35:02.660
And you said the word, the keyword uncomfortable.

35:03.240 --> 35:06.600
We have been trained in society not to be uncomfortable

35:07.280 --> 35:11.000
and that it's not something that we actually want.

35:11.340 --> 35:12.640
We want comfort, comfort, comfort.

35:12.800 --> 35:18.140
And of course, but you have like low vibrating emotions,

35:18.540 --> 35:21.600
things like fear and grief,

35:22.100 --> 35:23.380
they are uncomfortable.

35:25.380 --> 35:30.440
Yeah, and in reality, even what we consider to be comfortable

35:30.440 --> 35:34.160
is not at its depths.

35:34.360 --> 35:35.380
I thought I was like, oh, wait a minute.

35:35.620 --> 35:36.080
That's okay.

35:36.260 --> 35:36.520
I'm sorry.

35:39.000 --> 35:42.100
It's true because there are different layers.

35:42.820 --> 35:44.620
And then, so yeah, you get to a point

35:44.620 --> 35:49.600
where the realization is that every human experience

35:49.600 --> 35:50.880
is actually uncomfortable.

35:51.840 --> 35:52.960
In reality.

35:54.660 --> 35:55.360
And then so.

35:55.360 --> 35:55.960
And then that label,

35:56.220 --> 35:58.100
like that has been labeled uncomfortable,

35:58.640 --> 36:00.260
even though it's just an experience really

36:00.260 --> 36:02.860
if you remove all the emotional aspect.

36:03.140 --> 36:03.200
No.

36:03.800 --> 36:07.320
No, no, this is direct observation.

36:07.680 --> 36:11.360
It's not a meaning I've given it or an interpretation.

36:12.200 --> 36:16.520
It's that, and that's been one of the bigger revelations

36:16.520 --> 36:18.880
that I've had and I'm not the first to have it,

36:18.880 --> 36:22.160
just that even the high energy you were saying it earlier,

36:22.420 --> 36:24.260
even the high energy that we think,

36:24.500 --> 36:26.380
oh, now I've arrived, now I feel good.

36:26.640 --> 36:28.080
I'm courageous.

36:28.560 --> 36:29.540
I can accept things.

36:29.760 --> 36:31.280
I can be at peace with things.

36:32.260 --> 36:35.920
But if you really go deeply into those experiences,

36:36.140 --> 36:39.380
you discover how incredibly uncomfortable they are.

36:40.160 --> 36:43.520
And I think this is the ongoing work of deprogramming

36:43.520 --> 36:47.100
is to get not to a place of comfort,

36:47.100 --> 36:48.540
but actual freedom.

36:49.400 --> 36:49.700
Yes.

36:50.220 --> 36:53.500
And this can be the most uncomfortable of all.

36:54.940 --> 36:55.280
Yes.

36:56.680 --> 36:56.960
Yes.

36:57.460 --> 37:00.960
And, you know, on that journey to freedom,

37:01.640 --> 37:05.400
it's funny how my own self resisted it.

37:07.240 --> 37:08.320
You know, it was like,

37:08.420 --> 37:10.200
there was some mechanism in play

37:10.200 --> 37:11.860
that somehow I was an imposter.

37:12.160 --> 37:14.620
And I also had the

37:17.140 --> 37:21.480
I thought freedom came with a cost

37:21.480 --> 37:23.720
because I think the imagery put out there

37:23.720 --> 37:26.840
is people who go at war for freedom of a country.

37:27.240 --> 37:30.020
That somehow people have to die and be hurt

37:30.020 --> 37:34.820
and mutilated and killed in order to have freedom.

37:35.760 --> 37:39.160
And when, you know, you are coming up to somebody

37:39.160 --> 37:41.460
and saying, oh, hey, I can help you deprogram,

37:41.540 --> 37:42.380
do you want your freedom?

37:43.100 --> 37:45.060
It's like, when someone said that to me,

37:45.060 --> 37:47.380
I was like, oh, that must mean horrible,

37:47.540 --> 37:49.660
horrible, horrible experiences and things.

37:49.960 --> 37:50.220
Wow.

37:51.300 --> 37:53.340
But where did I get that from?

37:53.640 --> 37:55.440
Well, imagery that I had seen on TV

37:55.440 --> 37:57.720
that that's how you got it.

37:57.980 --> 37:58.260
Right.

37:58.680 --> 38:00.820
So that's a scary thing, right?

38:01.440 --> 38:03.900
So of course the resistance comes up to that.

38:04.240 --> 38:05.120
Right, right.

38:05.780 --> 38:09.580
And even like a really old analogy,

38:09.580 --> 38:13.000
but when you try to take a caged bird out of its cage,

38:13.480 --> 38:15.360
it acts like you're trying to kill it.

38:15.600 --> 38:16.320
Mm-hmm.

38:16.420 --> 38:18.660
And mostly because it doesn't know freedom.

38:19.060 --> 38:19.340
Yeah.

38:19.440 --> 38:21.500
It's not familiar with freedom,

38:21.640 --> 38:23.800
but we are familiar with suffering.

38:24.720 --> 38:25.100
Mm-hmm.

38:25.200 --> 38:27.260
So that seems safer.

38:28.060 --> 38:28.140
Right.

38:28.340 --> 38:29.760
Suffering seems safer.

38:29.940 --> 38:30.420
Suffering seems safer, yeah.

38:30.960 --> 38:31.780
Because it's familiar.

38:32.220 --> 38:33.340
Yeah, we know it.

38:33.460 --> 38:34.520
There's something to hang on to.

38:34.880 --> 38:37.100
With freedom, there's nothing to hang on to.

38:37.680 --> 38:42.320
No, I feel the more I do work like that,

38:42.320 --> 38:45.300
the more, what is that?

38:45.360 --> 38:45.960
We're called trans,

38:47.280 --> 38:48.760
where it kind of flows through you.

38:48.880 --> 38:49.560
You're not a sticky.

38:49.900 --> 38:51.980
You don't, things don't stick on so much.

38:52.060 --> 38:52.300
Yeah.

38:52.700 --> 38:53.980
Translucent, is that the word I'm thinking about?

38:54.000 --> 38:54.780
Could be, yeah.

38:56.560 --> 38:56.960
Exactly.

38:57.300 --> 38:59.140
Where it does see through, air through or something.

38:59.280 --> 38:59.680
Transparent.

38:59.860 --> 39:00.440
Transparent, yeah.

39:00.480 --> 39:03.500
Transparent maybe is the word that I'm trying to find, yeah.

39:04.320 --> 39:05.540
Right, right, yeah.

39:05.560 --> 39:06.800
And it doesn't mean that I don't,

39:06.940 --> 39:08.840
you know, it's like you're still faced with stuff.

39:09.440 --> 39:11.260
You know, there's still stuff.

39:11.260 --> 39:13.000
It doesn't mean you're, you know,

39:13.020 --> 39:14.440
you're free of things happening.

39:14.500 --> 39:16.840
It just gives you tools how to navigate.

39:17.040 --> 39:19.540
You can understand more of the process

39:19.540 --> 39:22.560
so you don't feel like a lot of the times,

39:22.740 --> 39:24.360
I think when I was going through really hard things,

39:24.380 --> 39:26.460
I felt like I was floating around in the abyss.

39:26.700 --> 39:28.880
And sometimes I get like that.

39:29.200 --> 39:32.180
Too much in the head, too much air element, right?

39:32.780 --> 39:34.900
It's like, okay, let's ground,

39:35.180 --> 39:36.620
let's get back into our bodies.

39:37.660 --> 39:39.480
You know, what can the body tell me

39:39.480 --> 39:40.580
about this experience?

39:42.080 --> 39:42.440
Exactly.

39:42.900 --> 39:43.840
And the body doesn't lie.

39:44.480 --> 39:44.640
Yeah.

39:45.480 --> 39:45.700
Yeah.

39:45.880 --> 39:47.460
Let's have a look at some of the comments here.

39:47.620 --> 39:48.460
We're missing them.

39:48.740 --> 39:50.760
And it's hard to look at two things at one time.

39:50.800 --> 39:54.780
So just wanted to say hello to Ms. Maya.

39:55.240 --> 39:56.460
Glad you can hear us.

39:56.560 --> 39:57.200
Hello, Stephanie.

39:57.580 --> 39:58.840
Yeah, you know, Maya is all your,

39:58.840 --> 39:59.860
all your friends are here.

40:00.560 --> 40:01.940
And Jenny G is in the chat.

40:02.140 --> 40:02.860
Nice to see you fun,

40:03.060 --> 40:03.960
yeah, real life friends.

40:04.180 --> 40:04.540
What the heck?

40:04.720 --> 40:06.880
It's not as common, sadly,

40:07.360 --> 40:09.380
but we made it happen today.

40:09.380 --> 40:09.960
It's really good.

40:10.300 --> 40:11.940
Because Melanie, you live about an hour

40:11.940 --> 40:13.660
and a quarter hour and a half away.

40:14.360 --> 40:15.520
If we're just not that far, really,

40:15.600 --> 40:16.340
in the scheme of things,

40:16.560 --> 40:16.980
it's true.

40:17.320 --> 40:18.260
Well, I see you more than anyone.

40:18.580 --> 40:18.940
So, okay.

40:21.060 --> 40:22.580
And thank you very much.

40:22.880 --> 40:24.080
And Jenny said,

40:24.180 --> 40:26.620
you always love that at the pace

40:26.620 --> 40:27.900
designed for my piece

40:27.900 --> 40:29.520
when praying, manifesting guidance.

40:30.700 --> 40:31.100
Yeah.

40:31.300 --> 40:32.860
Pace is a really good subject, actually.

40:33.780 --> 40:37.900
And a lot of people feel like somehow

40:37.900 --> 40:40.240
the pace is outside of their doing.

40:40.840 --> 40:43.340
And I'm always the first one to remind them,

40:43.340 --> 40:45.020
you go at your own pace.

40:45.560 --> 40:45.800
Yeah.

40:46.000 --> 40:46.720
You take it on.

40:46.900 --> 40:49.180
I can continue to invite you.

40:50.320 --> 40:53.020
And I'm also going to make great effort

40:53.020 --> 40:54.700
never to push you.

40:55.060 --> 40:57.900
I have done that a lot in my past.

40:58.260 --> 40:59.120
And it never worked.

40:59.680 --> 40:59.700
Mm-hmm.

40:59.700 --> 41:01.320
Now, it creates resistance.

41:01.500 --> 41:01.660
Yeah.

41:01.660 --> 41:02.240
It's like, nope.

41:02.780 --> 41:03.660
Exactly, yeah.

41:03.760 --> 41:06.020
If you want someone's hands to come up

41:06.020 --> 41:10.540
and they tell you to back off and you push them.

41:11.740 --> 41:13.580
But it's that kind of fine line.

41:13.740 --> 41:14.980
And I'm sure you know this as a teacher

41:14.980 --> 41:17.160
where the invitation is there.

41:17.360 --> 41:20.040
It's not, you can't mistake it or miss it.

41:20.440 --> 41:24.700
I think the invitation without people

41:24.700 --> 41:27.380
being more direct, they just know what's there.

41:27.520 --> 41:28.900
It's like the day that I met you.

41:29.920 --> 41:32.160
You didn't tell me what you did

41:32.160 --> 41:34.440
or what you believed in or anything,

41:34.440 --> 41:36.960
but the invitation was there for me to come

41:36.960 --> 41:39.300
and make that greeting to you.

41:39.820 --> 41:39.920
Nice.

41:40.220 --> 41:43.500
So that is kind of, that I call that alignment.

41:44.560 --> 41:47.920
You know, like it's, there was no push.

41:48.100 --> 41:49.960
You weren't trying to, it was just,

41:50.100 --> 41:53.320
but you had your aura or your essence had an invitation.

41:54.320 --> 41:54.560
Beautiful.

41:54.940 --> 41:55.060
Yes.

41:55.300 --> 41:55.500
Beautiful.

41:55.800 --> 41:56.640
Yeah, that's amazing.

41:57.120 --> 41:57.720
Thank you.

41:57.820 --> 41:58.480
Yeah, you're welcome.

42:00.180 --> 42:01.600
And mammograms are toxic.

42:01.800 --> 42:02.220
Don't do those.

42:02.220 --> 42:04.600
I've luckily never ever had one of those.

42:05.060 --> 42:07.060
And I'm not going to, yeah.

42:07.380 --> 42:10.080
I don't know if you want to talk about any of that.

42:10.120 --> 42:11.800
I've been through the entire,

42:12.340 --> 42:14.260
because I had no trust in myself

42:14.260 --> 42:16.200
and I was fear-mongered a lot,

42:16.380 --> 42:17.560
or I took that in.

42:18.780 --> 42:20.000
I did do the treatments.

42:21.300 --> 42:23.280
I've worked on forgiving myself

42:23.280 --> 42:24.520
because I don't think I'd be able

42:24.520 --> 42:25.920
to talk about this without crying.

42:26.600 --> 42:30.560
It was, I held a lot of grief about my choices.

42:32.220 --> 42:34.180
You know, did it save my life at the time?

42:34.600 --> 42:35.840
It probably did,

42:35.960 --> 42:38.780
because I had no tools.

42:39.320 --> 42:41.600
I had, I couldn't feel anything.

42:41.800 --> 42:43.200
I was so far in apathy

42:43.200 --> 42:44.940
that I even had surgeries

42:44.940 --> 42:47.940
and came out of surgery with no feeling.

42:48.220 --> 42:49.640
And I would ask the nurse like,

42:50.480 --> 42:51.940
hey, what kind of drugs did you give me?

42:52.040 --> 42:52.820
I can't feel anything.

42:53.040 --> 42:54.560
And they'd say none.

42:56.060 --> 42:58.560
And that shocked my system completely

42:58.560 --> 43:00.960
because I knew I was in apathy.

43:00.960 --> 43:03.220
And like, but not at the time.

43:03.320 --> 43:04.320
This is looking back

43:04.320 --> 43:05.840
because I hadn't met Beth at that point.

43:06.220 --> 43:08.320
And I just remember laying there going,

43:08.600 --> 43:09.860
why can't I feel myself?

43:10.940 --> 43:12.400
Like, I'm in trouble here.

43:12.980 --> 43:15.360
Like the red flags were going off, right?

43:15.560 --> 43:18.880
I had, I was in apathy for so long

43:18.880 --> 43:22.360
that I didn't even feel what they were doing anymore.

43:23.580 --> 43:27.580
You know, and then came some chemotherapy.

43:28.240 --> 43:30.820
My body rejected after the second treatment

43:30.960 --> 43:31.820
I blacked out.

43:32.120 --> 43:33.220
I realized what was happening

43:33.220 --> 43:37.280
was I probably had a malfunction in the liver called,

43:37.660 --> 43:40.840
I can't remember the MTFR.

43:41.140 --> 43:42.920
I almost called the mother effer gene.

43:44.640 --> 43:47.820
I'm not very science with stuck with names,

43:48.160 --> 43:50.800
but where I couldn't detoxify,

43:50.900 --> 43:52.460
my pathways were blocked

43:52.460 --> 43:56.240
or my liver wasn't capable of detoxifying clearly.

43:57.120 --> 43:59.300
So what was happening was the toxins

43:59.300 --> 44:00.880
were actually building up in my body

44:00.880 --> 44:03.220
and not being detoxed out.

44:03.800 --> 44:05.860
So I blacked out, you know.

44:07.780 --> 44:10.200
And, but, you know, they find a way.

44:10.560 --> 44:15.060
They put demoral, benadryl, sorry,

44:15.360 --> 44:16.940
benadryl inside of my body

44:16.940 --> 44:19.480
and administered it slower.

44:21.220 --> 44:22.000
Been there.

44:22.360 --> 44:22.960
Okay. Yeah.

44:23.360 --> 44:26.720
So that's, you know, it's like,

44:27.260 --> 44:31.060
it's like you, it's like here, here, here, here you go.

44:31.280 --> 44:32.860
It's like the, you know, reminds me of Snow White

44:32.860 --> 44:34.700
where the, the, the witch says like,

44:34.820 --> 44:36.180
here, dearie, you take the apple.

44:37.080 --> 44:41.420
You know, I just, I had images of that like so clearly.

44:41.900 --> 44:45.520
And it, and then just me putting my arm out and offering.

44:46.040 --> 44:48.460
And, you know, it's like I said,

44:48.560 --> 44:52.580
it's been a long road to forgiveness to myself.

44:52.680 --> 44:55.140
And, and because, yes,

44:55.140 --> 44:57.220
it probably did save my life at the time,

44:57.220 --> 44:59.900
but it was also trying to kill me, you know.

45:00.300 --> 45:03.100
And then taking a drug after, you know,

45:03.160 --> 45:05.960
supposed to be for 10 years, I also was blacking out.

45:06.180 --> 45:08.960
And I could feel the inflammation building up inside.

45:09.260 --> 45:11.400
So I knew it wasn't going to be helpful.

45:11.880 --> 45:13.500
And I knew I needed something else.

45:14.280 --> 45:16.960
And finding the work that you brought forth

45:16.960 --> 45:18.240
was something else.

45:19.000 --> 45:20.020
Amazing. Wow.

45:20.280 --> 45:20.740
Good for you.

45:21.240 --> 45:22.600
Yeah. We really share that.

45:22.600 --> 45:24.540
And it is tempting to,

45:26.940 --> 45:28.260
maybe not even tempting,

45:28.440 --> 45:31.480
but it would beat ourselves up for past mistakes.

45:31.800 --> 45:33.820
And there's this unconscious desire

45:34.520 --> 45:36.680
that we won't make that mistake again.

45:37.140 --> 45:40.120
Or we won't make a similar kind of mistake.

45:40.740 --> 45:42.180
And if as long as we got the hammer

45:42.180 --> 45:44.520
and we keep hitting our own head with it,

45:44.600 --> 45:46.420
that somehow that's going to guarantee this.

45:46.800 --> 45:48.700
But it's actually the other way around

45:49.300 --> 45:51.300
that when you beat yourself up,

45:51.300 --> 45:54.100
it causes you to numb out.

45:55.420 --> 45:58.260
And then self-inflicted suffering.

45:58.880 --> 45:59.860
Yep. And then exactly.

46:00.180 --> 46:02.140
And then it's a setup for doing,

46:02.420 --> 46:04.160
you maybe don't do the exact same thing,

46:04.160 --> 46:06.160
but you'll do the same thing in a different way.

46:06.900 --> 46:07.240
Yeah.

46:08.320 --> 46:11.760
Yeah. So that inner work of,

46:12.360 --> 46:15.700
now I always say that forgiveness is not a technique.

46:16.560 --> 46:19.080
If you say, oh, forgive yourself, Melanie,

46:19.280 --> 46:20.920
or oh, just forgive yourself,

46:20.920 --> 46:22.660
that don't be hard on yourself.

46:22.800 --> 46:24.580
I even wanted to say that, right?

46:25.040 --> 46:27.280
And but it doesn't work.

46:27.440 --> 46:32.780
Then it's another layer of numbness to the reality.

46:33.420 --> 46:35.120
Oh, I was beating myself.

46:35.360 --> 46:39.560
Maybe I have even an injury as a result of that.

46:39.600 --> 46:43.220
That would be more like the longs of toxic positivity lines.

46:43.380 --> 46:43.700
Yeah, nice.

46:44.580 --> 46:47.640
Right there in a whole different degree, right?

46:48.700 --> 46:49.860
Oh, don't feel that way.

46:49.960 --> 46:50.280
It's okay.

46:50.280 --> 46:52.120
It's like, no, I need to own that.

46:52.580 --> 46:56.140
I need to own the guilt I felt and the betrayal,

46:56.140 --> 47:00.340
and I need to feel through that in order to find the forgiveness.

47:00.700 --> 47:03.080
It's not something that you just flick a switch and do.

47:03.560 --> 47:03.840
Exactly.

47:04.200 --> 47:05.320
You know, there's layers of it.

47:05.700 --> 47:07.180
Yeah. I always say that the forgiveness,

47:07.700 --> 47:10.220
it is a result, not a technique.

47:10.520 --> 47:11.200
Right. Okay.

47:11.420 --> 47:13.300
So that when you come in and you find out,

47:13.940 --> 47:16.060
that was the revelation when I wrote the chapter

47:16.060 --> 47:17.880
on the hedonist in my book.

47:17.880 --> 47:20.760
That's the revelation of going to bed at night

47:20.760 --> 47:23.860
and having the hammer out and like,

47:24.040 --> 47:25.980
why, why, why, Beth?

47:26.240 --> 47:27.380
Why did you do that?

47:27.640 --> 47:28.880
Why did you do it again?

47:29.180 --> 47:29.400
Oh.

47:29.400 --> 47:30.420
Why did you do it again?

47:30.520 --> 47:33.100
Like this, and there came a moment,

47:33.620 --> 47:38.100
very poignant moment where I was able to step back

47:38.100 --> 47:40.700
and see this whole dynamic.

47:41.560 --> 47:44.760
And then what I was doing by hitting myself

47:45.320 --> 47:48.320
was trying not to feel the pain

47:49.560 --> 47:54.520
of what I then termed or coined this term of an empty why.

47:55.080 --> 47:55.600
Okay.

47:55.840 --> 47:55.920
Yeah.

47:56.240 --> 47:58.820
Because when we ask ourselves something we can't forgive

47:58.820 --> 48:00.280
ourselves for, why did you do it?

48:00.360 --> 48:01.020
Why did you do it?

48:01.140 --> 48:01.600
Don't do it again.

48:01.760 --> 48:04.600
What were you, stupid, all this kind of self-talk.

48:05.340 --> 48:10.380
It's avoiding the deeper pain of the meaninglessness

48:10.900 --> 48:11.760
of the suffering.

48:12.760 --> 48:13.280
Yeah.

48:14.090 --> 48:18.760
This is the most unendurable part of our existence

48:18.760 --> 48:23.000
is meaningless pain because it's so far out of alignment

48:23.690 --> 48:25.420
with who we actually are.

48:26.020 --> 48:28.360
And, but, but the tendency is to bypass.

48:28.600 --> 48:30.340
I know we're really seriously geeking out,

48:30.400 --> 48:31.500
but we did promise to geek out.

48:32.860 --> 48:34.940
Well, this is talking about deprogramming.

48:35.100 --> 48:35.640
Yes, exactly.

48:35.800 --> 48:36.220
We're on topic.

48:37.200 --> 48:41.680
But that the desire to avoid pain by causing pain,

48:41.680 --> 48:44.860
like you can see how absolutely nonsensical

48:44.860 --> 48:49.080
our unconsciouses are that this is the logic.

48:49.260 --> 48:50.380
Well, if I just beat myself,

48:50.400 --> 48:52.300
then I won't have to feel that deeper pain.

48:52.400 --> 48:52.720
Right.

48:53.300 --> 48:56.220
Instead of just facing like an often you say like,

48:56.520 --> 48:57.860
why did I do it again?

48:58.020 --> 48:58.700
Why did I do it again?

48:58.860 --> 48:59.940
Well, it's the mechanism.

49:00.700 --> 49:02.520
It's not, it's not who you are going back

49:02.520 --> 49:04.120
to the whole programming stuff.

49:04.360 --> 49:06.100
There's probably something underneath

49:06.100 --> 49:10.080
that a core wound of I can't win or I'm not perfect.

49:10.840 --> 49:11.940
That's why you did it.

49:12.500 --> 49:12.540
Right.

49:12.960 --> 49:12.980
Right.

49:13.520 --> 49:15.560
Like, or, or, or like, yeah.

49:15.880 --> 49:19.840
And I won't say or it's and, and so that the programs

49:19.840 --> 49:21.200
are no good reason.

49:21.780 --> 49:23.100
There's because they're empty.

49:23.420 --> 49:23.580
Yeah.

49:23.920 --> 49:25.540
There's they're when you let them go.

49:25.720 --> 49:26.840
It's like it didn't even exist.

49:27.040 --> 49:28.140
It's like you didn't even have,

49:28.280 --> 49:29.880
it erases the experience almost.

49:30.460 --> 49:30.900
Exactly.

49:31.240 --> 49:32.020
You know, it's like, oh.

49:33.580 --> 49:34.020
Yeah.

49:34.040 --> 49:35.860
The joke's always on you when you let it go

49:35.860 --> 49:37.400
and you see like, oh, wow,

49:37.400 --> 49:40.240
I acted out that program.

49:40.800 --> 49:40.860
Yeah.

49:40.980 --> 49:42.680
And yet it doesn't even exist.

49:43.080 --> 49:43.280
Yeah.

49:43.500 --> 49:44.420
It's gone now.

49:44.880 --> 49:45.320
Yeah.

49:45.700 --> 49:45.800
Yeah.

49:45.940 --> 49:47.300
It wasn't what I thought it was.

49:47.740 --> 49:50.340
It didn't have power over me as it turns out.

49:50.380 --> 49:51.460
It just seemed like it did.

49:52.320 --> 49:53.700
And then, and then, yeah.

49:53.960 --> 49:54.280
The, the.

49:54.420 --> 49:56.360
Well, I think it did have power at that time

49:56.360 --> 49:58.960
when, when you did act out, but it's

49:58.960 --> 50:00.740
false city, like it's to make you feel

50:00.740 --> 50:03.280
better or superior or whatever.

50:03.280 --> 50:06.460
So you did, like, like I see it as,

50:06.480 --> 50:08.340
as an acting out of something,

50:08.520 --> 50:09.860
not who you really are.

50:10.120 --> 50:10.440
Yeah.

50:10.940 --> 50:13.760
You know, that unconditional presence of being

50:13.760 --> 50:15.920
and just being in that unconditional love.

50:16.260 --> 50:17.900
And it doesn't, it's not fluffy

50:17.900 --> 50:18.700
unconditional love.

50:18.760 --> 50:21.000
It's just really experiencing things

50:21.000 --> 50:21.700
from the heart.

50:22.680 --> 50:23.160
Exactly.

50:23.400 --> 50:24.940
You know, it's not that, you know,

50:25.000 --> 50:26.040
oh, everything's fine.

50:26.120 --> 50:26.720
Everything's okay.

50:26.860 --> 50:27.800
Unconditional love, everything.

50:28.300 --> 50:30.400
You know, that's, that's another thing,

50:30.440 --> 50:32.320
but it's just embodying.

50:33.400 --> 50:36.040
What that feels like, regardless of the

50:36.040 --> 50:37.640
experience, like beating,

50:37.920 --> 50:39.900
like the reverse of beating yourself up,

50:40.100 --> 50:42.280
having compassion and empathy for yourself.

50:43.080 --> 50:45.540
You know, oh, that really wasn't who I am.

50:46.540 --> 50:47.180
You know.

50:47.520 --> 50:47.680
Yeah.

50:48.100 --> 50:50.260
Now, now that I see that, okay.

50:51.040 --> 50:53.240
And I know that that mechanism's in place.

50:53.440 --> 50:55.400
How can I now deprogram that mechanism?

50:56.620 --> 50:58.480
Which is all you need to do.

50:58.920 --> 50:59.220
Yeah.

50:59.520 --> 50:59.700
Right.

51:00.000 --> 51:01.220
And then, and then the forgiveness

51:01.220 --> 51:02.940
naturally follows.

51:03.300 --> 51:04.100
That is true.

51:04.240 --> 51:05.120
It just is.

51:05.400 --> 51:05.560
Yeah.

51:05.960 --> 51:07.700
And there's no efforting and there's no

51:07.700 --> 51:09.080
pretending because most people,

51:09.200 --> 51:10.100
when they get into forgiveness,

51:10.600 --> 51:12.020
it's actually denial.

51:12.720 --> 51:14.620
They're like, oh, it didn't matter so much.

51:14.740 --> 51:16.660
I can forgive or oh, they probably won't

51:16.660 --> 51:17.060
do it again.

51:17.180 --> 51:17.820
I can forgive.

51:18.000 --> 51:18.120
Yeah.

51:18.140 --> 51:19.540
You're not feeling the really underlying

51:19.540 --> 51:20.200
wound there.

51:20.620 --> 51:20.940
Yeah.

51:21.020 --> 51:22.580
You're kind of just layering on top.

51:23.040 --> 51:23.520
Exactly.

51:23.840 --> 51:26.580
Skipping, skipping stones.

51:27.200 --> 51:27.560
Yeah.

51:28.740 --> 51:29.220
Exactly.

51:29.220 --> 51:31.020
Are you guys getting this?

51:31.100 --> 51:31.620
Does it make sense?

51:31.880 --> 51:32.080
Let's see.

51:32.220 --> 51:34.380
Oh, I keep saying things the second

51:34.380 --> 51:35.360
you're about to type it.

51:35.420 --> 51:35.980
That's so fun.

51:36.080 --> 51:36.500
I love that.

51:36.620 --> 51:37.380
Eb, nice to have you here.

51:37.780 --> 51:38.540
She's local too.

51:38.620 --> 51:39.320
We'll have to have a tea.

51:39.600 --> 51:40.180
Oh, nice.

51:40.520 --> 51:40.680
Yeah.

51:41.640 --> 51:43.120
And something about Superman.

51:43.380 --> 51:44.300
I might have missed that part.

51:45.140 --> 51:45.740
Hello, Maya.

51:45.980 --> 51:46.680
Great to have you here.

51:47.640 --> 51:49.780
Oh, Michelle's in the house.

51:50.160 --> 51:51.600
Invitation to walk into the storm

51:51.600 --> 51:52.920
instead of trying to outrun it.

51:53.140 --> 51:53.480
Exactly.

51:53.880 --> 51:54.020
Yeah.

51:54.100 --> 51:54.920
That's a really big one.

51:55.040 --> 51:55.340
The eye of the storm.

51:55.540 --> 51:57.560
You use that terminology for a while

51:57.560 --> 51:59.280
and the buffalo analogy.

51:59.480 --> 51:59.920
That's the one.

52:00.040 --> 52:01.960
I actually looked it up.

52:02.140 --> 52:03.020
It's like, I think the buffalo

52:03.020 --> 52:05.340
are the only animal that runs

52:05.340 --> 52:06.420
into the storm.

52:06.520 --> 52:07.520
Everything else flees

52:07.520 --> 52:09.240
if you actually look it up.

52:09.720 --> 52:09.960
Wow.

52:10.180 --> 52:10.380
Okay.

52:10.740 --> 52:10.880
Yes.

52:10.880 --> 52:10.920
Okay.

52:11.220 --> 52:11.400
Yes.

52:11.900 --> 52:12.800
So why is that?

52:13.280 --> 52:15.040
You know, goosebumps, it's like,

52:15.140 --> 52:16.280
because they're brave.

52:17.180 --> 52:18.320
Because it takes courage.

52:18.920 --> 52:19.260
Yeah.

52:19.400 --> 52:20.900
So which is part of the emotional

52:20.900 --> 52:21.280
scale.

52:21.500 --> 52:21.860
Right.

52:22.340 --> 52:22.980
And wisdom.

52:23.780 --> 52:25.400
It's just a project.

52:25.640 --> 52:27.100
I can't say for sure,

52:27.100 --> 52:28.960
but they seem like a wise animal.

52:29.100 --> 52:30.660
And they seem like it's used as a

52:31.220 --> 52:32.840
symbol for wisdom.

52:33.160 --> 52:35.640
They seem like they're so large,

52:35.880 --> 52:37.740
their energy, but it's like they

52:37.740 --> 52:38.480
know a lot.

52:38.800 --> 52:39.020
Yeah.

52:39.100 --> 52:40.140
But they're humble about it.

52:40.280 --> 52:40.440
Right.

52:40.760 --> 52:42.280
And they live long too, right?

52:42.580 --> 52:42.720
They do.

52:42.900 --> 52:43.120
Okay.

52:43.400 --> 52:43.500
Yeah.

52:43.540 --> 52:44.100
I don't know.

52:44.360 --> 52:45.980
I'm guessing now I'll have to go

52:45.980 --> 52:47.580
and research the buffalo more.

52:49.360 --> 52:50.660
But something else to uncover.

52:51.000 --> 52:51.180
Yeah.

52:51.480 --> 52:51.640
Yeah.

52:51.780 --> 52:52.940
That's a thing that when you

52:53.400 --> 52:54.800
all you need to know about

52:54.800 --> 52:56.220
running into the storm is

52:56.220 --> 52:59.140
having run away from a number of

52:59.140 --> 53:01.100
storms repeatedly over time,

53:01.660 --> 53:03.480
you start to see how does your

53:03.480 --> 53:04.720
experiment turn out?

53:05.360 --> 53:06.720
Does it work good for you?

53:07.200 --> 53:08.900
Do you, do you get there?

53:09.280 --> 53:11.360
Or do you end up actually that

53:11.360 --> 53:12.760
you have to keep running from the

53:12.760 --> 53:15.000
same storm that's just,

53:15.240 --> 53:15.860
you know, otherwise.

53:16.080 --> 53:17.380
And maybe that's where the

53:17.380 --> 53:19.300
surrender word is more,

53:20.540 --> 53:21.940
not better used,

53:22.080 --> 53:23.840
but a good place for that is to

53:23.840 --> 53:26.200
surrender into the storm of it.

53:26.200 --> 53:26.680
Yeah.

53:27.160 --> 53:27.340
Not.

53:27.840 --> 53:28.320
100%.

53:28.320 --> 53:30.880
You know, so word usage,

53:31.260 --> 53:33.160
like where is it more purposeful?

53:33.700 --> 53:33.980
Nice.

53:34.740 --> 53:35.880
I would say, you know,

53:36.040 --> 53:37.520
surrender into the storm instead

53:37.520 --> 53:39.180
of running is where I could,

53:39.420 --> 53:40.500
you know, that word is, I think.

53:41.260 --> 53:41.500
Yeah.

53:41.740 --> 53:42.100
Exactly.

53:42.660 --> 53:42.680
Exactly.

53:43.320 --> 53:43.520
Yeah.

53:44.160 --> 53:45.680
I've used the word code a lot

53:45.680 --> 53:47.880
and I used it in journey code,

53:47.960 --> 53:49.100
which was the coaching training

53:49.100 --> 53:49.700
that you did.

53:50.140 --> 53:51.760
And I couldn't stop myself from

53:51.760 --> 53:53.120
using it in this new course,

53:53.120 --> 53:54.840
which is going to be companion

53:54.840 --> 53:57.000
or is companion to journey code.

53:57.860 --> 53:59.160
And so I've been doing a lot more,

53:59.400 --> 54:02.540
a focus and concentration on the word code

54:03.100 --> 54:04.080
and the code,

54:04.440 --> 54:06.900
the coded nature of our world

54:06.900 --> 54:07.720
and our universe,

54:08.220 --> 54:09.860
that, you know, everything from,

54:10.380 --> 54:11.740
it's the code of an emotion

54:11.740 --> 54:13.480
that allows you to see the difference

54:13.480 --> 54:15.180
between peace and apathy,

54:15.360 --> 54:17.420
which can be a very fine line,

54:17.700 --> 54:19.220
but it's different code, right?

54:19.560 --> 54:20.740
It feels different in the body.

54:20.820 --> 54:22.060
It has its own frequency.

54:22.420 --> 54:23.080
It really does.

54:23.340 --> 54:23.480
Yeah.

54:23.580 --> 54:23.840
Yeah.

54:23.840 --> 54:25.200
Same with the programming.

54:25.620 --> 54:27.540
It has a certain code to it.

54:27.840 --> 54:29.460
Every thought that we have

54:29.460 --> 54:32.360
is giving us code literally.

54:33.180 --> 54:35.220
It's coding, not coding us.

54:35.460 --> 54:36.720
It would be a wrong way to say it.

54:37.580 --> 54:41.180
And then, so everybody deals with us,

54:41.220 --> 54:42.300
I think it's pretty universal

54:42.300 --> 54:43.340
where they have thoughts

54:43.340 --> 54:44.440
they'd rather not have.

54:45.280 --> 54:47.660
And, you know, say they go to do

54:47.660 --> 54:49.100
something out of their comfort zone.

54:49.180 --> 54:50.680
You mentioned it when I texted you

54:50.680 --> 54:53.240
an invitation and you intimated that,

54:53.240 --> 54:54.920
oh yeah, some stuff came up.

54:55.140 --> 54:55.260
Yeah.

54:55.940 --> 54:56.800
Right on time.

54:57.120 --> 54:57.220
Yeah.

54:58.680 --> 55:00.520
And so one of the ways

55:00.520 --> 55:01.620
that I've been learning to deal

55:01.620 --> 55:02.860
with this, to cope with it,

55:03.420 --> 55:04.400
is, or not to cope,

55:04.520 --> 55:05.300
that's a very bad word

55:05.300 --> 55:06.500
because that's more just like...

55:06.500 --> 55:06.780
Navigate.

55:07.320 --> 55:08.600
Yeah, to navigate exactly,

55:09.280 --> 55:12.340
is to run into the storm of the thinking

55:12.780 --> 55:13.880
and say, you know,

55:13.920 --> 55:15.800
I'm about to take a risk of some kind

55:15.800 --> 55:17.160
and there's the guy on my shoulder

55:17.160 --> 55:19.440
that says, you're never going to do it.

55:19.560 --> 55:20.220
You're going to fail.

55:20.840 --> 55:22.920
And I'll turn around instead of go like,

55:23.840 --> 55:25.140
get away from me.

55:25.220 --> 55:26.600
I'm trying to get something done,

55:26.600 --> 55:29.120
which makes it actually come on stronger.

55:29.960 --> 55:32.280
I will turn and I'll go, oh yes,

55:32.960 --> 55:34.200
I will fail.

55:34.720 --> 55:35.160
That's right.

55:35.160 --> 55:36.660
Allow yourself that experience.

55:37.900 --> 55:39.960
And just go into that storm.

55:39.980 --> 55:40.740
Go through that storm.

55:40.920 --> 55:41.260
That's right.

55:41.400 --> 55:42.420
You're coming at me with your storm,

55:42.480 --> 55:42.900
bring it on.

55:43.000 --> 55:44.280
What else do you have for me?

55:44.500 --> 55:44.600
Yeah.

55:45.020 --> 55:46.640
Oh, another take down.

55:46.760 --> 55:47.160
Oh, great.

55:47.340 --> 55:48.380
Okay, anything else?

55:48.660 --> 55:49.680
You got some more information,

55:49.980 --> 55:50.660
code for me?

55:50.880 --> 55:51.080
Yeah.

55:51.280 --> 55:51.900
And then it's like...

55:53.340 --> 55:56.200
And I think if I'm hearing you correctly,

55:56.260 --> 55:58.940
that would be what you would call an aversion to.

55:59.380 --> 55:59.460
Yeah.

55:59.760 --> 56:00.580
The things that you,

56:00.800 --> 56:01.800
the thoughts that you have

56:01.800 --> 56:03.260
that you think you're not supposed to have

56:03.260 --> 56:04.040
around something.

56:04.220 --> 56:05.620
It's like, oh, that's a bad thought.

56:05.760 --> 56:06.460
I'm going to get rid of that.

56:06.840 --> 56:08.260
No, that doesn't work either.

56:08.560 --> 56:08.800
Yeah.

56:08.980 --> 56:09.120
Yeah.

56:09.380 --> 56:11.320
So just those things that you avert

56:11.320 --> 56:14.440
or stay, try to try your best to

56:15.180 --> 56:16.760
not have that experience.

56:17.080 --> 56:19.340
It's just as powerful as an attachment.

56:20.060 --> 56:20.820
You got it.

56:20.920 --> 56:23.000
So it will also draw the experience

56:23.000 --> 56:24.420
in the things that you are avoiding.

56:25.120 --> 56:25.420
Exactly.

56:26.000 --> 56:27.560
So something to keep in mind as well.

56:27.920 --> 56:28.180
Yeah.

56:28.520 --> 56:28.680
Yeah.

56:28.860 --> 56:30.080
It's two really big principles

56:30.680 --> 56:32.100
in the deprogramming work

56:32.100 --> 56:33.820
that we have both attachment.

56:34.220 --> 56:35.360
Kind of versions to think.

56:35.360 --> 56:35.620
And aversion.

56:35.940 --> 56:37.140
And then you do this

56:37.140 --> 56:40.100
and basically you're creating the action

56:40.100 --> 56:42.620
of a skid steer thing

56:42.620 --> 56:45.000
that has the potential to just spin

56:45.000 --> 56:46.000
around and around.

56:46.080 --> 56:46.720
Oh, yeah.

56:46.840 --> 56:47.860
I'm using a machine analogy

56:47.860 --> 56:49.500
just because I hang around guys.

56:49.660 --> 56:51.060
I kind of see it as like pendulum

56:51.060 --> 56:52.500
swinging, you know.

56:52.500 --> 56:54.900
And then when you look at the things

56:54.900 --> 56:56.000
you are avoiding

56:56.000 --> 56:57.560
and the things you are attached to

56:57.560 --> 56:59.980
eventually you get a place of

56:59.980 --> 57:02.700
you kind of take the charge away

57:02.700 --> 57:03.820
from the polarities.

57:03.980 --> 57:05.740
Is that am I saying that correctly?

57:06.040 --> 57:07.180
If one has a negative charge

57:07.180 --> 57:08.600
or one has a positive charge

57:08.600 --> 57:12.320
those polar like it becomes more neutral

57:12.320 --> 57:13.720
and then you have more clarity.

57:14.180 --> 57:16.240
So you're not swinging back and forth.

57:17.340 --> 57:18.080
Is that?

57:18.600 --> 57:18.740
Yeah.

57:20.060 --> 57:21.360
I think of it differently.

57:21.680 --> 57:21.800
Okay.

57:21.800 --> 57:22.600
Yeah.

57:22.880 --> 57:23.060
Yeah.

57:23.360 --> 57:25.120
But I think it's partly resistance.

57:25.600 --> 57:28.220
I have an aversion to the word neutral.

57:29.100 --> 57:29.580
Okay.

57:29.840 --> 57:30.100
Yeah.

57:30.360 --> 57:30.680
Okay.

57:30.860 --> 57:33.220
Because the poles do not neutralize each other.

57:34.020 --> 57:34.500
Right.

57:34.760 --> 57:35.600
When you got a magnet.

57:35.960 --> 57:36.160
Okay.

57:36.720 --> 57:37.820
You got a positive pull.

57:38.020 --> 57:39.000
You got a negative pull.

57:39.200 --> 57:39.300
Yeah.

57:39.560 --> 57:40.540
Into infinity.

57:41.160 --> 57:41.860
This is still.

57:41.980 --> 57:43.420
So what happens right in the center?

57:44.200 --> 57:45.120
Of those two.

57:45.260 --> 57:46.440
The whole thing is a movement.

57:47.580 --> 57:48.060
Right.

57:48.240 --> 57:50.000
The whole thing is a constant movement.

57:50.640 --> 57:53.600
But somewhere the negative and positive

57:53.600 --> 57:55.760
have to meet somewhere in that center line.

57:56.340 --> 57:57.340
They're one in the whole.

57:57.340 --> 57:58.360
Do they bleed into each other?

57:58.520 --> 57:59.640
They're not separate from each other.

57:59.740 --> 58:01.040
There's no meeting.

58:02.060 --> 58:02.140
Right.

58:02.340 --> 58:04.300
So it's one thing.

58:05.140 --> 58:07.000
We're breaking out the parts

58:07.460 --> 58:10.420
and then as if there's going to be a neutral zone.

58:12.180 --> 58:14.840
And I don't think of it as that way.

58:15.040 --> 58:16.000
I'll give that some more thought.

58:16.220 --> 58:17.880
I haven't really kind of looked at that whole.

58:18.480 --> 58:20.700
I mean the things I know up to now

58:20.700 --> 58:23.400
kind of led me to explain that the way I did.

58:23.620 --> 58:25.320
But of course there's always more to learn.

58:26.040 --> 58:27.960
And navigate through.

58:28.000 --> 58:29.900
Or just a different way to look at it.

58:29.920 --> 58:31.620
To kind of see it from a different perspective.

58:32.200 --> 58:32.880
For sure.

58:33.200 --> 58:33.360
Yeah.

58:33.500 --> 58:34.180
I'll take a look into that.

58:34.560 --> 58:34.940
Yeah.

58:36.180 --> 58:39.500
And then it's because the temptation

58:39.500 --> 58:42.040
is that we need to balance two poles,

58:42.240 --> 58:44.720
two sides of any pendulum.

58:45.000 --> 58:45.300
Okay.

58:45.400 --> 58:47.160
So then can I ask a question then?

58:47.160 --> 58:47.700
Okay.

58:47.900 --> 58:51.280
So then if the aversions have,

58:51.700 --> 58:54.120
they have some kind of polarization to them.

58:54.280 --> 58:54.700
Is that true?

58:54.880 --> 58:55.420
Is that a true thing?

58:55.560 --> 58:55.800
Okay.

58:55.920 --> 58:57.160
And then so do the attachments.

58:57.540 --> 58:57.840
Exactly.

58:58.500 --> 59:00.700
So then what are we doing then

59:00.700 --> 59:05.080
when we are looking at attachments and aversions

59:05.080 --> 59:08.320
and releasing the programming under that?

59:11.260 --> 59:12.940
That what you said.

59:13.560 --> 59:16.480
So releasing the programming

59:17.000 --> 59:20.120
that causes you to go from attachment to aversion

59:20.120 --> 59:23.820
to attachment to aversion tirelessly,

59:24.900 --> 59:27.500
endlessly investing all of the life energy

59:27.500 --> 59:29.020
and just going back and forth,

59:29.220 --> 59:30.560
trying to get what you want,

59:30.640 --> 59:32.680
trying to stay away from what you don't want.

59:32.900 --> 59:35.260
So that would be labeled as perhaps inner conflict

59:36.160 --> 59:38.640
when you have that inner conflict going back and forth.

59:38.700 --> 59:39.000
Oh, totally.

59:39.160 --> 59:42.340
Because you'll have both attachments and aversions.

59:42.620 --> 59:42.740
Yes.

59:43.060 --> 59:44.280
That's why you have trouble with-

59:44.280 --> 59:44.960
So they're taking up a lot of space.

59:45.500 --> 59:45.720
Yeah.

59:46.120 --> 59:47.420
A lot of airtime, a lot of noise,

59:48.020 --> 59:49.780
a lot of activation of the nervous system

59:49.780 --> 59:51.060
like we were talking about before.

59:52.420 --> 59:54.640
The mistake that gets made is that people think

59:54.640 --> 59:56.640
they need to balance those.

59:57.860 --> 01:00:00.200
So you want to get enough attachment

01:00:00.200 --> 01:00:01.140
and enough aversion

01:00:01.140 --> 01:00:02.740
and then you're going to get this magic neutral.

01:00:03.340 --> 01:00:03.540
No.

01:00:04.340 --> 01:00:04.660
Okay.

01:00:04.900 --> 01:00:05.100
No.

01:00:05.480 --> 01:00:06.340
It's not how it works.

01:00:06.360 --> 01:00:07.700
So would it be right to say

01:00:07.700 --> 01:00:09.600
that that's where you would have freedom

01:00:10.660 --> 01:00:12.300
to make a free will choice then?

01:00:15.380 --> 01:00:18.240
Where you release all your attachment and aversions.

01:00:18.320 --> 01:00:19.780
Are you in a place of freedom then?

01:00:20.620 --> 01:00:20.760
Right.

01:00:20.940 --> 01:00:23.640
So every single time you release an attachment,

01:00:25.100 --> 01:00:27.940
you find freedom that was already there.

01:00:28.060 --> 01:00:30.020
Every single time you release an aversion,

01:00:30.380 --> 01:00:32.480
you find freedom that was already there.

01:00:33.000 --> 01:00:36.080
The revelation of what I call the marriage of the opposites,

01:00:36.080 --> 01:00:37.640
which I gave a talk on,

01:00:37.720 --> 01:00:39.660
I think I do have a recording that I've never put out

01:00:40.280 --> 01:00:43.600
from Anarcapulco last year is that you,

01:00:44.340 --> 01:00:50.600
both sides become meaningless in the process.

01:00:50.680 --> 01:00:50.860
Yes. Okay.

01:00:51.060 --> 01:00:52.240
Well, you see the illusion.

01:00:52.640 --> 01:00:53.460
The illusion of it.

01:00:53.580 --> 01:00:54.440
Of that.

01:00:54.620 --> 01:00:56.180
Well, I love these things about you,

01:00:56.200 --> 01:00:58.000
but I don't like those things about you.

01:00:58.060 --> 01:00:59.520
Well, I love these things about you.

01:00:59.700 --> 01:01:04.840
And then if I deprogram both my attachments and aversions,

01:01:05.400 --> 01:01:08.480
meaning get to the bottom, like what's in it for me?

01:01:08.480 --> 01:01:11.000
Do I lack for safety?

01:01:11.300 --> 01:01:12.220
Do I lack for love?

01:01:12.400 --> 01:01:13.500
Do I lack for control?

01:01:13.720 --> 01:01:14.680
Do I lack for connection?

01:01:15.420 --> 01:01:20.800
What motivates me to do this or this and this?

01:01:21.180 --> 01:01:25.520
So it's not about trying to make those two work together

01:01:25.520 --> 01:01:29.080
or balance or cooperate or anything like that.

01:01:29.700 --> 01:01:33.780
It is about seeing through the opposites.

01:01:33.980 --> 01:01:37.400
That in fact, the attachment and the aversion are the same.

01:01:39.500 --> 01:01:44.460
It's the same internal action, but we break them out

01:01:45.180 --> 01:01:49.160
and create entities that have polarity.

01:01:49.360 --> 01:01:53.020
Not only in entities like bad guys.

01:01:53.300 --> 01:01:53.640
Just energies.

01:01:53.980 --> 01:01:54.580
Just energies.

01:01:55.800 --> 01:02:00.720
That they determine and push and pull us towards what we want

01:02:00.720 --> 01:02:02.280
and away from what we don't want.

01:02:02.460 --> 01:02:04.020
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:04.660 --> 01:02:06.480
So, yeah.

01:02:06.480 --> 01:02:07.420
Okay.

01:02:07.720 --> 01:02:08.440
It's deep.

01:02:08.700 --> 01:02:09.540
It's deep, you guys.

01:02:10.020 --> 01:02:10.060
Yeah.

01:02:10.500 --> 01:02:13.520
And thank you very much, Michelle, for inviting that.

01:02:13.640 --> 01:02:15.000
I appreciate it so much.

01:02:15.580 --> 01:02:16.820
And are we losing you guys?

01:02:17.020 --> 01:02:17.460
Let us know.

01:02:19.660 --> 01:02:21.080
Superman in creator code.

01:02:21.320 --> 01:02:21.960
Ah, okay.

01:02:22.100 --> 01:02:22.460
There you go.

01:02:24.000 --> 01:02:24.960
Thoughts on...

01:02:24.960 --> 01:02:26.720
Joe dispenses supernatural.

01:02:27.520 --> 01:02:28.540
Yeah, I don't know.

01:02:28.760 --> 01:02:31.200
I think the only thing I know about Joe dispenses

01:02:31.200 --> 01:02:35.680
is the epigenetics that we have the power to kind of work...

01:02:35.680 --> 01:02:38.440
It goes back to maybe what you were saying on the code.

01:02:39.100 --> 01:02:43.880
Like we are all built with a DNA code, right, when we're born.

01:02:44.360 --> 01:02:46.200
And somehow that coding gets fractured.

01:02:46.320 --> 01:02:49.660
And they've known things like BRCA1 and 2,

01:02:49.860 --> 01:02:51.660
they're telling you it's a genetic mutation.

01:02:52.400 --> 01:02:57.360
Or different expressions of human beings are genetic mutations.

01:02:58.040 --> 01:03:03.000
So then if we have that code that had been mutated,

01:03:03.140 --> 01:03:04.900
do we have the power to rebuild the code?

01:03:05.680 --> 01:03:08.400
Is kind of I think what Joe dispenses work is all about.

01:03:08.620 --> 01:03:09.060
Okay.

01:03:09.280 --> 01:03:13.020
Well, that's interesting because I always say there's no reprogramming.

01:03:13.960 --> 01:03:14.800
And there's...

01:03:14.800 --> 01:03:14.860
Right.

01:03:15.060 --> 01:03:19.280
Because the original code is still underneath there somewhere.

01:03:19.640 --> 01:03:19.900
Yeah.

01:03:20.200 --> 01:03:21.120
It's possibly...

01:03:22.120 --> 01:03:23.220
Yep, marrying the opposites.

01:03:23.640 --> 01:03:24.860
And then, yeah, have tea with us.

01:03:25.220 --> 01:03:25.240
Absolutely.

01:03:28.840 --> 01:03:31.480
Yin and yang heaven and earth.

01:03:31.840 --> 01:03:34.320
Yeah, there's an endless number of those...

01:03:36.720 --> 01:03:39.800
What was I just gonna say that I interrupted myself about?

01:03:41.080 --> 01:03:44.900
So, yeah, no recoding going on over here.

01:03:45.500 --> 01:03:45.820
So that's...

01:03:45.820 --> 01:03:45.960
Right.

01:03:46.120 --> 01:03:49.460
Yeah, so I have a strong aversion to the recoders.

01:03:49.520 --> 01:03:49.780
To the word recoding.

01:03:50.180 --> 01:03:50.320
Yeah.

01:03:50.740 --> 01:03:52.020
Or reprogramming.

01:03:52.020 --> 01:03:53.120
Because we have the blueprint.

01:03:53.420 --> 01:03:55.820
And so that that theory that we are blueprinted

01:03:55.820 --> 01:03:57.980
with everything that we could possibly need.

01:03:58.420 --> 01:03:58.940
Yeah.

01:03:59.840 --> 01:04:00.440
So then...

01:04:00.440 --> 01:04:03.560
Yeah, actually I have a bit of a goose bumpy on that one.

01:04:03.560 --> 01:04:05.780
So I'm gonna go with truth there.

01:04:06.200 --> 01:04:08.660
I'm gonna go with my sensors.

01:04:09.500 --> 01:04:09.780
Yeah.

01:04:10.020 --> 01:04:11.020
It's part of the Psyop.

01:04:11.380 --> 01:04:12.660
I think it is actually.

01:04:13.180 --> 01:04:15.520
Now that we're kind of uncovering it a little bit,

01:04:15.640 --> 01:04:17.040
it does feel a bit suspicious.

01:04:19.880 --> 01:04:20.620
Yeah, yeah.

01:04:21.000 --> 01:04:24.080
Of course, how convenient that we always feel to be lacking.

01:04:24.620 --> 01:04:24.800
Yeah.

01:04:24.800 --> 01:04:25.360
What we need.

01:04:25.560 --> 01:04:25.980
Yeah, yeah.

01:04:26.200 --> 01:04:26.820
Or old.

01:04:26.860 --> 01:04:29.020
Now that I settle that out loud, I'm like...

01:04:29.020 --> 01:04:32.000
And part of saying things like that out loud

01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:33.340
is to actually hear yourself.

01:04:34.280 --> 01:04:36.920
And then kind of go, well, is that really true, Melanie?

01:04:37.620 --> 01:04:38.220
For sure.

01:04:38.380 --> 01:04:40.060
Or is that just another story?

01:04:40.200 --> 01:04:42.260
Or is that just another thing out there

01:04:42.260 --> 01:04:44.700
to make us believe that we're lacking somehow?

01:04:44.940 --> 01:04:45.180
Yeah.

01:04:45.340 --> 01:04:48.240
And as soon as I said that we have this blueprint inside,

01:04:48.580 --> 01:04:52.200
like all of my body, just the senses, just ignited.

01:04:52.560 --> 01:04:52.820
Amazing.

01:04:53.000 --> 01:04:54.040
You know, just like, yeah.

01:04:54.240 --> 01:04:54.600
Amazing.

01:04:54.880 --> 01:04:56.040
So good, so good.

01:04:56.720 --> 01:04:58.660
And I've been in this situation many times.

01:04:58.800 --> 01:05:00.440
It's one of the themes of Creator Code.

01:05:00.440 --> 01:05:03.120
I just did a video for them as an introduction.

01:05:04.420 --> 01:05:09.640
And so I have hit a blank slate many times in my life,

01:05:09.980 --> 01:05:12.540
gone through some kind of calamity breakdown,

01:05:13.040 --> 01:05:15.440
my own cancer journey, as I mentioned,

01:05:15.620 --> 01:05:18.180
having to die so many times all the time,

01:05:18.360 --> 01:05:19.300
dying, dying, dying.

01:05:19.840 --> 01:05:24.480
And then I come out of it clear because of having done

01:05:24.480 --> 01:05:27.140
the inner work, having deprogrammed.

01:05:27.700 --> 01:05:29.480
And it's just like cleaning the slate.

01:05:29.480 --> 01:05:31.540
I remember after my father died.

01:05:32.540 --> 01:05:35.320
And, you know, that's a really hard experience, of course.

01:05:36.100 --> 01:05:41.400
And it was on the heels of having done a lot of the release

01:05:41.400 --> 01:05:44.560
training and my own certifications in that world.

01:05:44.640 --> 01:05:46.660
So I had quite a community around me at the time,

01:05:46.740 --> 01:05:49.160
a lot of resources, a lot of support.

01:05:49.500 --> 01:05:53.580
And I was able to clean up, I know, a heck of a lot faster

01:05:53.580 --> 01:05:56.040
on a death that can, you know.

01:05:56.180 --> 01:05:57.320
It could take a longer time.

01:05:57.320 --> 01:06:00.920
It could take a long time for the death of a parent, especially.

01:06:01.400 --> 01:06:05.060
It's strangely like a major house cleaner.

01:06:06.180 --> 01:06:11.900
And then I came out of it and I wasn't suffering nearly to the degree.

01:06:12.200 --> 01:06:15.060
It goes on, you know, not to over exaggerate,

01:06:15.140 --> 01:06:16.940
but it was just a blank slate.

01:06:17.360 --> 01:06:19.260
And I didn't know who I was anymore.

01:06:19.720 --> 01:06:24.460
And I didn't know how I was ever going to come into the world again.

01:06:24.460 --> 01:06:25.040
Wow.

01:06:25.860 --> 01:06:28.340
And I had a, you know, I had a semi-public life

01:06:28.340 --> 01:06:33.980
like I've always had or almost always had for the last 25 years now.

01:06:34.420 --> 01:06:36.340
And I just, I had nothing to come out with.

01:06:36.500 --> 01:06:37.260
I had no persona.

01:06:37.780 --> 01:06:39.400
I had no identity.

01:06:39.940 --> 01:06:40.640
Who am I?

01:06:41.440 --> 01:06:44.180
The nature of my work, I could see it intellectually

01:06:44.180 --> 01:06:48.220
and I could keep going through some motions around it.

01:06:48.840 --> 01:06:50.660
But it wasn't authentic.

01:06:50.880 --> 01:06:52.640
It wasn't like some kind of thing.

01:06:52.640 --> 01:06:54.920
And this is where people might start to think,

01:06:55.140 --> 01:06:56.620
oh, reprogram, reprogram.

01:06:57.800 --> 01:07:00.500
Start put some good stuff in or something like that, right?

01:07:01.080 --> 01:07:02.960
But to me, that was not it at all.

01:07:03.360 --> 01:07:07.520
That it was actually going even more into the depths.

01:07:08.240 --> 01:07:11.320
First of all, all of our programming around the unknown.

01:07:12.760 --> 01:07:16.620
And, you know, the unknown is a kind of death

01:07:17.120 --> 01:07:19.300
to have to exist in that for five minutes.

01:07:19.300 --> 01:07:23.980
People like scramble and grab at things

01:07:23.980 --> 01:07:27.680
that are not really them or theirs to be done,

01:07:27.720 --> 01:07:29.120
not aligned with them.

01:07:30.020 --> 01:07:35.380
But if you can withstand that, for lack of a better word,

01:07:35.560 --> 01:07:37.520
empty space or the clean slate

01:07:38.180 --> 01:07:43.320
without needing to start building on it and filling on it

01:07:43.320 --> 01:07:47.540
and let that bring up even deeper layers of programming.

01:07:47.540 --> 01:07:49.860
And come to that point.

01:07:50.120 --> 01:07:52.620
And then for me, it's always in the mix

01:07:52.620 --> 01:07:56.160
is always going to be an urge to connect,

01:07:56.900 --> 01:08:01.920
to have a deeper experience of my world.

01:08:02.240 --> 01:08:06.000
Because I've been in my own bubble doing my own things.

01:08:06.340 --> 01:08:09.420
Then it's time to get out and actually talk to people

01:08:10.440 --> 01:08:12.740
and see who's out there

01:08:12.740 --> 01:08:16.940
because I'm not doing any work in a vacuum for myself only.

01:08:17.740 --> 01:08:22.620
It's only relative to the people that want to do it.

01:08:23.260 --> 01:08:24.580
Otherwise, it's nothing.

01:08:24.780 --> 01:08:25.180
It's meaningless.

01:08:26.140 --> 01:08:27.540
It's worthless.

01:08:29.320 --> 01:08:33.260
And so it's always the very deepest of the deprogramming

01:08:33.260 --> 01:08:35.060
brings me into connection,

01:08:35.340 --> 01:08:38.860
brings me into awareness of where people are at.

01:08:39.180 --> 01:08:41.460
And that starts to feed back

01:08:42.540 --> 01:08:46.260
into an authentic eruption of some kind.

01:08:47.820 --> 01:08:48.340
Yes.

01:08:48.940 --> 01:08:51.560
Inspiration, like true inspiration that's not

01:08:52.220 --> 01:08:54.020
efforted, but it comes naturally.

01:08:55.240 --> 01:08:55.740
Yes.

01:08:55.940 --> 01:08:57.680
I think from this listening to that,

01:08:57.900 --> 01:09:00.040
what I think of is embodying.

01:09:00.260 --> 01:09:01.180
So that's the full.

01:09:02.300 --> 01:09:03.720
I'm going to use the word integrating here,

01:09:03.780 --> 01:09:05.940
but when you do that inner work

01:09:05.940 --> 01:09:07.960
and then you go out into the public,

01:09:08.660 --> 01:09:12.000
it's like who now exists in your reality?

01:09:13.120 --> 01:09:17.120
Because you're going out now as a different energy being

01:09:17.120 --> 01:09:20.480
you will attract different experiences and new people.

01:09:20.860 --> 01:09:23.680
And when it's reflected back to you, like you say,

01:09:24.200 --> 01:09:29.740
it's almost like a subconscious reflection of the work you've done.

01:09:30.240 --> 01:09:33.600
And then to me, there's like this inner

01:09:36.600 --> 01:09:40.320
kind of like a sense of embodiment.

01:09:40.760 --> 01:09:41.080
Yeah.

01:09:41.480 --> 01:09:42.640
That's like a rival.

01:09:43.060 --> 01:09:45.460
That's like, oh, you know,

01:09:45.460 --> 01:09:47.400
look at what's being reflected to me now.

01:09:48.260 --> 01:09:50.040
Like, oh, wow, that's so beautiful.

01:09:50.600 --> 01:09:50.880
Yeah.

01:09:51.280 --> 01:09:52.940
And there's something like

01:09:53.840 --> 01:09:56.120
to be said about, you know,

01:09:56.160 --> 01:09:57.600
like that fake it till you make it,

01:09:57.640 --> 01:09:59.060
you can go out there and fake a smile

01:09:59.060 --> 01:10:01.380
and be happy and put on the face.

01:10:01.780 --> 01:10:05.440
But are you really like, what is it like that's acting?

01:10:05.480 --> 01:10:08.500
But can you embody what that feels like?

01:10:08.680 --> 01:10:09.860
And it's effortless.

01:10:10.300 --> 01:10:11.740
Yeah, exactly.

01:10:12.200 --> 01:10:12.360
Exactly.

01:10:12.480 --> 01:10:13.020
It's just there.

01:10:13.380 --> 01:10:13.640
Yeah.

01:10:14.260 --> 01:10:17.660
And then it has a life and a momentum of its own as if.

01:10:19.240 --> 01:10:24.780
And it's not, I mean, it doesn't mean there's not going to be work and hardship.

01:10:25.560 --> 01:10:29.360
And, you know, it always is a double edged,

01:10:29.420 --> 01:10:31.040
I'll just have to say double edged sword,

01:10:31.480 --> 01:10:35.080
because you end up, I end up creating a lot of work for myself,

01:10:35.400 --> 01:10:36.940
like a ton, a ton of work.

01:10:37.220 --> 01:10:38.420
Because I know that and that's,

01:10:38.520 --> 01:10:39.820
that's where I've got, you know,

01:10:39.860 --> 01:10:41.520
I've got attachment to creating

01:10:41.520 --> 01:10:43.480
and I've got a version to creating.

01:10:43.700 --> 01:10:45.760
The aversion is like, oh, I'm going to,

01:10:45.920 --> 01:10:50.560
I'm going to make just a crap ton of work.

01:10:50.700 --> 01:10:54.160
I'm going to overwhelm myself, maybe I'll, you know, fall down

01:10:54.160 --> 01:10:58.480
and I won't be able to do what I set out to do

01:10:58.480 --> 01:11:01.700
or nobody's going to love it

01:11:01.700 --> 01:11:04.360
or all of those kind of things come up.

01:11:04.440 --> 01:11:06.680
And it just all, every step of the way,

01:11:07.280 --> 01:11:10.420
it becomes the inner work of freedom.

01:11:11.680 --> 01:11:14.300
If you, if you choose it and you allow it to be,

01:11:14.340 --> 01:11:17.240
so like every single, every single step

01:11:17.740 --> 01:11:19.180
is going to be a new layer.

01:11:19.340 --> 01:11:20.740
And I always laugh at myself like,

01:11:20.800 --> 01:11:23.640
honestly, I could have taken a fake it approach.

01:11:24.040 --> 01:11:27.260
It's, I don't lack for things to come out in the world with.

01:11:27.520 --> 01:11:30.220
I've got several courses I could,

01:11:30.340 --> 01:11:32.280
I've never even properly promoted my book.

01:11:32.560 --> 01:11:35.140
I, you know, I can, I could get out locally

01:11:35.140 --> 01:11:40.260
and teach any range of subjects within my subject.

01:11:40.260 --> 01:11:41.560
And it's just endless.

01:11:41.840 --> 01:11:44.200
I could go in so many different directions,

01:11:44.200 --> 01:11:47.140
but to really get to that embodied place,

01:11:47.760 --> 01:11:50.000
that's become my new standard, right?

01:11:50.320 --> 01:11:53.660
So, so then it ends up being some new eruption

01:11:53.660 --> 01:11:56.680
to create something new for right now.

01:11:57.760 --> 01:11:58.720
You know, something.

01:11:59.160 --> 01:12:00.760
Yeah, because you're not that person

01:12:00.760 --> 01:12:02.720
that built that course three, four years ago

01:12:02.720 --> 01:12:04.540
or gave that thought you are,

01:12:04.560 --> 01:12:06.520
you are a whole new human being now.

01:12:06.640 --> 01:12:09.920
So that would be almost like living in the past.

01:12:10.500 --> 01:12:12.760
Like, because there's progression that happens

01:12:12.760 --> 01:12:15.560
as we create and put things out in the world.

01:12:16.080 --> 01:12:17.920
If we're, if we're growing all the time,

01:12:18.000 --> 01:12:19.540
then there's always a new version of ourselves

01:12:19.540 --> 01:12:21.180
building and creating something new.

01:12:21.280 --> 01:12:22.080
Yeah, yeah.

01:12:22.160 --> 01:12:23.500
To more present moment stuff.

01:12:23.860 --> 01:12:24.960
Yeah, that can be a problem

01:12:24.960 --> 01:12:27.100
when you keep outdating yourself quickly.

01:12:28.300 --> 01:12:29.060
Yeah, yeah.

01:12:29.560 --> 01:12:31.700
I go back to old work and I'll,

01:12:31.800 --> 01:12:33.800
I'll make myself tune in with it

01:12:33.800 --> 01:12:35.460
and just see like, am I still that person?

01:12:35.600 --> 01:12:37.440
Am I, can I, am I still behind?

01:12:37.820 --> 01:12:38.740
Can I still get behind?

01:12:38.740 --> 01:12:41.520
And luckily, you know, when you find truth,

01:12:41.680 --> 01:12:43.740
it has a thread to it.

01:12:45.140 --> 01:12:48.060
And so there might be different expressions.

01:12:48.680 --> 01:12:49.720
There are, there are things,

01:12:50.000 --> 01:12:51.600
have there have been things that I've had to edit.

01:12:51.900 --> 01:12:53.980
Every time I did a run of journey code,

01:12:53.980 --> 01:12:56.860
I had to go and edit certain things.

01:12:57.260 --> 01:12:58.940
Like, oh, you know, new findings.

01:12:59.480 --> 01:13:00.000
Updates, updates.

01:13:00.220 --> 01:13:00.660
Absolutely.

01:13:01.600 --> 01:13:03.960
So that I'm not misleading people with old ideas.

01:13:04.140 --> 01:13:05.820
Well, because that's what you knew at the time.

01:13:05.820 --> 01:13:08.580
And then if, as you learn and keep growing,

01:13:08.920 --> 01:13:10.480
you learn something different

01:13:10.480 --> 01:13:12.580
or that maybe was not the case anymore.

01:13:12.960 --> 01:13:13.180
Yeah.

01:13:13.400 --> 01:13:15.700
So that's a lot of work to go back and correct too.

01:13:16.000 --> 01:13:16.420
Oh yeah.

01:13:16.760 --> 01:13:16.960
Right.

01:13:17.440 --> 01:13:17.920
So.

01:13:18.280 --> 01:13:20.120
Yeah, look at Garrett Smith now who you know

01:13:20.120 --> 01:13:21.840
through the love your liver kind of stuff.

01:13:22.100 --> 01:13:23.060
And he's the same way.

01:13:23.160 --> 01:13:25.740
Very fast, grower, fast learner.

01:13:26.540 --> 01:13:28.700
And so he leaves a lot of new evidence.

01:13:28.700 --> 01:13:28.820
New evidence.

01:13:28.960 --> 01:13:29.420
Comes out.

01:13:29.540 --> 01:13:29.820
Yeah.

01:13:29.960 --> 01:13:33.520
And so he leaves a lot of himself in the dust

01:13:33.520 --> 01:13:34.580
because of it.

01:13:34.580 --> 01:13:41.420
But I mean, personally, I think that's a cost you can afford to have.

01:13:41.420 --> 01:13:42.060
Moving too fast.

01:13:42.660 --> 01:13:45.320
Well, who knows what our pace is?

01:13:45.760 --> 01:13:47.280
Only we know.

01:13:47.420 --> 01:13:48.640
Like you talked about pace earlier.

01:13:49.020 --> 01:13:51.380
It's like maybe some people are meant to move quicker.

01:13:51.540 --> 01:13:52.960
Maybe some people are meant to move slower.

01:13:53.220 --> 01:13:54.960
How can we decide that for somebody?

01:13:55.260 --> 01:13:55.780
We can't.

01:13:56.140 --> 01:13:56.380
Exactly.

01:13:56.820 --> 01:13:57.880
You can only for yourself.

01:13:58.160 --> 01:13:59.100
You know your own pace.

01:13:59.440 --> 01:13:59.640
But yeah.

01:14:00.120 --> 01:14:00.840
Yeah, he's like me.

01:14:01.300 --> 01:14:01.580
Yeah.

01:14:01.960 --> 01:14:03.020
And I would say you too.

01:14:03.200 --> 01:14:03.480
Yeah.

01:14:03.700 --> 01:14:03.980
Yeah.

01:14:03.980 --> 01:14:04.600
Yeah.

01:14:07.480 --> 01:14:09.820
So we've got Superman and Creator Code.

01:14:10.180 --> 01:14:11.420
You're going to have to go deeper on that.

01:14:11.560 --> 01:14:14.160
No, let me know what that is.

01:14:14.740 --> 01:14:16.060
DNA has been debunked.

01:14:16.140 --> 01:14:16.920
I know I had that thought.

01:14:17.020 --> 01:14:18.620
I didn't want to just totally jump down.

01:14:18.760 --> 01:14:19.120
Yeah, no.

01:14:19.400 --> 01:14:20.600
I know what it's like to talk about.

01:14:20.900 --> 01:14:24.000
Like I said, it's people's.

01:14:24.460 --> 01:14:28.480
I look at kind of what's being pushed out there.

01:14:28.840 --> 01:14:32.240
And a lot of times it's not what's really going on.

01:14:32.620 --> 01:14:32.720
So.

01:14:33.160 --> 01:14:33.740
Yeah, exactly.

01:14:33.740 --> 01:14:34.640
Kind of.

01:14:34.980 --> 01:14:35.860
I mean, that's like it.

01:14:35.980 --> 01:14:36.780
Kind of thoughts about it.

01:14:36.960 --> 01:14:37.520
But it's like.

01:14:38.280 --> 01:14:41.080
I was just going to show the back of my book.

01:14:41.320 --> 01:14:42.780
There is a little DNA there, right?

01:14:42.900 --> 01:14:45.060
This is one of my favorite metaphors.

01:14:45.940 --> 01:14:47.140
And oh yeah.

01:14:47.660 --> 01:14:49.540
So now I have to leave that one out.

01:14:49.580 --> 01:14:51.620
Because it just doesn't mean what we thought it did.

01:14:51.780 --> 01:14:52.620
Well, that's right.

01:14:52.820 --> 01:14:53.800
And that's part of us.

01:14:54.240 --> 01:14:56.780
And being part of it too is the courage

01:14:56.780 --> 01:14:58.980
to actually say the thing out loud

01:14:58.980 --> 01:15:00.460
and then be corrected.

01:15:01.260 --> 01:15:04.380
Because a lot of people don't want to also be corrected.

01:15:04.800 --> 01:15:08.140
They want to stand true in there in the story.

01:15:08.720 --> 01:15:09.060
Yeah.

01:15:09.200 --> 01:15:09.400
Right.

01:15:09.760 --> 01:15:13.780
So I think talking about it and knowing that, oh, you know,

01:15:13.840 --> 01:15:14.960
well, maybe that's not right.

01:15:15.580 --> 01:15:17.360
What we are not sorry, not right.

01:15:17.640 --> 01:15:20.300
Just not not truth.

01:15:21.060 --> 01:15:21.620
Right.

01:15:21.780 --> 01:15:23.960
You know, so then that just to me,

01:15:24.060 --> 01:15:28.540
that gives me another avenue of self discovery, you know,

01:15:28.540 --> 01:15:30.900
and not relying on, oh, what does this book tell me?

01:15:31.180 --> 01:15:33.060
It's like, what does this body tell me?

01:15:33.760 --> 01:15:34.820
Yeah, beautiful.

01:15:35.100 --> 01:15:37.400
And learning how to believe what your own body

01:15:37.400 --> 01:15:41.120
is actually communicating to you as truth.

01:15:41.720 --> 01:15:44.560
It's one of the things I admire so much about you, Melanie,

01:15:44.780 --> 01:15:47.540
is that you're always willing to put yourself out there.

01:15:48.460 --> 01:15:50.760
And, you know, in Journey Code as an Apprentice,

01:15:51.000 --> 01:15:52.960
you were always the first to put your hand up.

01:15:53.140 --> 01:15:54.180
I'm going to take that risk.

01:15:54.360 --> 01:15:55.440
I'll teach that class.

01:15:55.440 --> 01:15:58.420
I will do this assignment.

01:15:59.700 --> 01:16:01.940
And I feel it's the same way,

01:16:01.980 --> 01:16:04.900
because sometimes until you put yourself out,

01:16:05.040 --> 01:16:06.220
you don't know what's in here.

01:16:06.620 --> 01:16:10.040
It was a good way to push me and let programming come up,

01:16:10.100 --> 01:16:13.500
because like, maybe this is all human beings,

01:16:13.760 --> 01:16:18.440
but as a child and stuff, I always felt like I had a bigger,

01:16:19.460 --> 01:16:20.820
and maybe it's all human beings,

01:16:20.980 --> 01:16:22.880
like I'm not just saying, oh, yeah, it's me.

01:16:22.980 --> 01:16:25.100
I've been chosen, you know, this whole thing.

01:16:25.100 --> 01:16:30.120
It's like that we have something bigger than just what we're doing,

01:16:30.800 --> 01:16:34.760
like that we are more than what we're led to believe

01:16:34.760 --> 01:16:36.040
that we are capable of.

01:16:36.880 --> 01:16:40.820
And like, after getting sick and almost losing

01:16:40.820 --> 01:16:45.800
my physical presence here on this earth, I was like,

01:16:47.440 --> 01:16:53.540
I had so much passion for finding truth

01:16:54.480 --> 01:16:57.260
and not just theories and conspiracy,

01:16:57.640 --> 01:17:02.240
but the truth of me and what I was here to express.

01:17:02.740 --> 01:17:03.800
And what am I here?

01:17:04.140 --> 01:17:05.520
How am I in service to the world?

01:17:06.920 --> 01:17:08.540
What am I here to do?

01:17:09.120 --> 01:17:11.020
You know, what messages am I here?

01:17:11.300 --> 01:17:15.760
I've been writing songs about journeys and things.

01:17:16.060 --> 01:17:20.840
And I think one of the gifts I embody is the ability

01:17:20.840 --> 01:17:25.080
to communicate about experiences.

01:17:26.280 --> 01:17:28.320
And I think in songwriting or poems,

01:17:28.660 --> 01:17:30.840
and you put things like that out in the world,

01:17:31.220 --> 01:17:33.100
and other people can relate.

01:17:33.960 --> 01:17:38.080
And they're not, you know, there's songs out there

01:17:38.080 --> 01:17:41.900
that they're not good to listen to over and over again

01:17:41.900 --> 01:17:44.100
and instill ideas into the head,

01:17:44.140 --> 01:17:47.760
but I'm hoping that my songs have messages that inspire people.

01:17:48.200 --> 01:17:49.140
They really do.

01:17:49.140 --> 01:17:52.500
That I have messages that can create inspiration.

01:17:53.200 --> 01:17:53.760
Absolutely.

01:17:53.920 --> 01:17:55.040
And I feel really good about that.

01:17:55.440 --> 01:17:56.140
Nice, nice.

01:17:56.860 --> 01:17:58.280
And if you guys are on Facebook,

01:17:58.520 --> 01:18:02.260
I did post a link to Melanie's Facebook page.

01:18:03.300 --> 01:18:06.980
And so you can go and you're often posting

01:18:06.980 --> 01:18:08.660
your beautiful little songs.

01:18:09.140 --> 01:18:11.720
I do have a YouTube channel.

01:18:12.040 --> 01:18:12.960
Also YouTube, okay.

01:18:13.100 --> 01:18:15.260
Yeah, it's called Honey Days.

01:18:15.800 --> 01:18:16.500
I will, yeah.

01:18:16.500 --> 01:18:19.340
And the funny thing is, is when you type it in,

01:18:19.640 --> 01:18:25.180
it doesn't even come up in the, as a something to click on.

01:18:25.360 --> 01:18:30.680
So I've had to send out codes to my friends and stuff.

01:18:31.220 --> 01:18:32.340
So it's interesting.

01:18:32.480 --> 01:18:34.260
There's a little bee there, buzzing around,

01:18:34.460 --> 01:18:35.220
and there's a daisy.

01:18:37.860 --> 01:18:38.180
Yeah.

01:18:38.560 --> 01:18:40.760
Oh, see, so Beth is just checking right now.

01:18:41.160 --> 01:18:45.640
But so it's typed honey, and then D-A-I.

01:18:46.500 --> 01:18:49.060
S-E, and just...

01:18:49.060 --> 01:18:50.160
That's why no one's finding it.

01:18:50.160 --> 01:18:51.020
No, but look it.

01:18:51.180 --> 01:18:52.080
I still don't come up.

01:18:52.160 --> 01:18:53.000
You still don't come up.

01:18:53.140 --> 01:18:53.200
No.

01:18:53.240 --> 01:18:53.540
Okay.

01:18:53.580 --> 01:18:54.960
So this is a totally different channel.

01:18:55.040 --> 01:18:57.060
There I am right there, actually, at the top.

01:18:57.100 --> 01:18:57.200
Yeah.

01:18:57.240 --> 01:18:59.540
If you get the spelling correct, then yes.

01:18:59.660 --> 01:19:00.360
Yeah, I didn't even know.

01:19:00.520 --> 01:19:02.700
Now I'm going to sub to you and hit the bell.

01:19:02.960 --> 01:19:03.140
Yeah.

01:19:03.380 --> 01:19:03.920
There we go.

01:19:04.140 --> 01:19:04.540
Honey Days.

01:19:04.760 --> 01:19:07.520
So I'm going to share this link in the chat.

01:19:07.820 --> 01:19:09.700
And the reason behind the name,

01:19:10.340 --> 01:19:12.560
daisies always represent freedom to me.

01:19:13.860 --> 01:19:14.780
Nice, nice.

01:19:14.780 --> 01:19:19.760
The daisy flower and honey is the sweetness of that.

01:19:20.560 --> 01:19:23.300
So a return to sweet innocence.

01:19:23.980 --> 01:19:25.020
Oh, yeah.

01:19:25.160 --> 01:19:25.800
Oh, nice is that.

01:19:26.500 --> 01:19:27.400
You want to cry?

01:19:27.980 --> 01:19:28.220
Yeah.

01:19:28.600 --> 01:19:28.720
Cry.

01:19:28.940 --> 01:19:29.320
Oh, sweet.

01:19:29.760 --> 01:19:33.800
It brings tears of joy and the whole journey of that all.

01:19:34.220 --> 01:19:34.480
Nice.

01:19:34.700 --> 01:19:34.980
That's beautiful.

01:19:35.520 --> 01:19:37.540
Is there one of these that I could play right now?

01:19:37.780 --> 01:19:38.380
Would you like to...

01:19:39.020 --> 01:19:39.760
Oh, my goodness.

01:19:40.080 --> 01:19:42.100
Oh, how about Remember Who You Are?

01:19:42.240 --> 01:19:43.540
It got 4,000 views.

01:19:43.740 --> 01:19:44.160
Oh, yeah.

01:19:44.160 --> 01:19:45.260
She went viral.

01:19:45.980 --> 01:19:46.500
Amazing.

01:19:47.200 --> 01:19:51.100
And because it kind of goes along the theory of like,

01:19:51.220 --> 01:19:55.420
Remember Who You Are and how did I learn how to do that?

01:19:56.200 --> 01:19:58.060
I went back into nature.

01:20:02.060 --> 01:20:02.580
So...

01:20:02.580 --> 01:20:03.740
Kay, do you want to cue this up for us?

01:20:03.880 --> 01:20:04.400
Sure.

01:20:04.620 --> 01:20:09.620
Here's a cute little thing that we were doing in practice mode.

01:20:09.700 --> 01:20:11.880
This is a friend of mine that I play music with.

01:20:12.100 --> 01:20:13.600
And he's a lot of fun.

01:20:14.880 --> 01:20:17.380
So anyways, this was not even a,

01:20:17.580 --> 01:20:19.100
hey, let's record this and put this on YouTube.

01:20:19.320 --> 01:20:23.540
This was, let's have fun and record this song.

01:20:23.640 --> 01:20:24.740
And you do whatever you do.

01:20:24.960 --> 01:20:26.280
So, yeah.

01:20:27.080 --> 01:20:27.800
That's awesome.

01:20:27.860 --> 01:20:28.820
It's called Who You Are.

01:20:29.300 --> 01:20:29.500
Nice.

01:20:29.520 --> 01:20:30.560
And it's a bit of remembering.

01:20:31.340 --> 01:20:31.600
Nice.

01:20:32.520 --> 01:20:32.980
Okay.

01:20:33.100 --> 01:20:33.460
Here we go.

01:20:34.060 --> 01:20:34.540
Okay.

01:21:40.080 --> 01:21:40.560
Breathe.

01:24:22.000 --> 01:24:23.640
I knew we were here somewhere.

01:24:25.880 --> 01:24:26.700
So I...

01:24:26.700 --> 01:24:27.300
I was disappearing.

01:24:27.620 --> 01:24:27.880
Yeah.

01:24:28.310 --> 01:24:30.320
In your spotlight.

01:24:32.660 --> 01:24:36.440
So I think that that song really speaks to me about nature coding.

01:24:36.720 --> 01:24:38.800
You talked about coding and how,

01:24:39.500 --> 01:24:43.320
you know, the bird song was scientifically proven to

01:24:44.660 --> 01:24:47.480
regulate, help regulate our nervous system and,

01:24:47.600 --> 01:24:49.320
you know, the whole sky thing.

01:24:49.780 --> 01:24:51.660
And it's not about, like you said,

01:24:52.600 --> 01:24:53.180
reprogramming.

01:24:53.360 --> 01:24:55.400
It's about a remembrance of who we are.

01:24:55.760 --> 01:24:56.100
Amen.

01:24:56.100 --> 01:24:59.620
And I think that song was really kind of depicting that.

01:25:00.500 --> 01:25:01.120
That's beautiful.

01:25:01.600 --> 01:25:01.620
Yeah.

01:25:01.620 --> 01:25:01.980
Nice.

01:25:02.200 --> 01:25:02.320
Thank you.

01:25:02.540 --> 01:25:02.560
Nice.

01:25:02.700 --> 01:25:03.460
Yeah, it's so sweet.

01:25:03.560 --> 01:25:04.520
Thank you for sharing that.

01:25:04.800 --> 01:25:05.520
You are welcome.

01:25:06.000 --> 01:25:07.880
And so I'm going to grab a link to your,

01:25:08.040 --> 01:25:15.940
your fake book as well since you are pretty regularly posting there.

01:25:16.740 --> 01:25:19.000
And Melanie's also a member of the House of Free Will.

01:25:19.200 --> 01:25:23.320
So if you are a member, you can find her there as well.

01:25:23.380 --> 01:25:24.480
And I do recommend that.

01:25:24.540 --> 01:25:25.340
It's been really fun.

01:25:26.220 --> 01:25:29.620
Especially recently, there's some new, new blood and new attention,

01:25:30.160 --> 01:25:33.100
some new members and more engagement.

01:25:33.560 --> 01:25:33.880
Nice.

01:25:34.120 --> 01:25:34.340
Yeah.

01:25:34.620 --> 01:25:34.760
Yeah.

01:25:35.380 --> 01:25:35.520
Yeah.

01:25:35.580 --> 01:25:36.120
It's been a while.

01:25:36.320 --> 01:25:36.740
It's a baby.

01:25:37.080 --> 01:25:40.880
It's still, you know, it's still a toddler walking around,

01:25:41.140 --> 01:25:41.960
falling into things.

01:25:42.100 --> 01:25:42.380
Yeah.

01:25:42.800 --> 01:25:43.060
Exactly.

01:25:43.260 --> 01:25:43.980
Getting back up.

01:25:44.200 --> 01:25:44.320
Yeah.

01:25:44.780 --> 01:25:48.180
A couple of really interesting things coming up in the House of Free Will is

01:25:48.180 --> 01:25:50.160
Joel Schafer is coming to do a workshop.

01:25:50.840 --> 01:25:54.560
He's the guy that's up on the Toltec Shamanism

01:25:55.080 --> 01:25:55.940
kind of world.

01:25:56.600 --> 01:25:57.080
Yeah.

01:25:57.280 --> 01:25:58.400
Really beautiful, powerful.

01:25:58.760 --> 01:26:02.760
He came, he came to the truth from an entirely different place in tradition,

01:26:02.880 --> 01:26:04.580
one that I had rejected years ago.

01:26:04.880 --> 01:26:09.960
And it's really fun just to go like, wow, he's, he found the same thing that I did

01:26:09.960 --> 01:26:11.420
from a totally different place.

01:26:11.480 --> 01:26:11.700
Yeah.

01:26:12.060 --> 01:26:14.200
And yeah, it's, I just love that.

01:26:14.360 --> 01:26:16.400
That's to me the most exciting of all.

01:26:17.080 --> 01:26:21.120
And Alex Michael is coming, who is the Conspiracy Music Guru guy.

01:26:21.480 --> 01:26:22.260
Have you heard his music?

01:26:22.680 --> 01:26:23.260
The Sofegio.

01:26:23.580 --> 01:26:23.720
Yeah.

01:26:23.720 --> 01:26:25.260
I did watch that actually.

01:26:25.560 --> 01:26:29.820
And I, the fellow that you see in the videos too, we talked a lot about

01:26:29.820 --> 01:26:32.540
frequencies and how they've been slightly adjusted.

01:26:32.700 --> 01:26:33.980
And he was on the same page.

01:26:34.100 --> 01:26:39.120
So he had sent me another link on Facebook Messenger about that

01:26:39.120 --> 01:26:40.680
before I even brought it up to him.

01:26:40.900 --> 01:26:44.220
So it's interesting that we're collaborating because we're both

01:26:44.220 --> 01:26:50.560
kind of tuning into that same thing that kind of happened with the frequency toning.

01:26:50.980 --> 01:26:51.060
Right.

01:26:51.320 --> 01:26:51.960
And yeah.

01:26:51.960 --> 01:26:53.720
So it's interesting.

01:26:53.840 --> 01:26:55.460
I don't know where our music is going to go.

01:26:56.020 --> 01:27:01.400
We, you know, we're aware, but I don't know how to shift that yet.

01:27:01.880 --> 01:27:03.420
I always like to say the word yet.

01:27:05.100 --> 01:27:07.780
But yeah, we're definitely aware.

01:27:08.260 --> 01:27:13.820
And I've been listening to different Sofegio frequency things after that talk.

01:27:14.160 --> 01:27:16.680
So I had, yeah, it's interesting to hear.

01:27:17.120 --> 01:27:17.300
Nice.

01:27:17.560 --> 01:27:17.760
Yeah.

01:27:17.820 --> 01:27:21.220
So he's coming in the house of free will and he won't be doing a workshop,

01:27:21.220 --> 01:27:25.180
like teaching this kind of stuff that that would be more of an academic approach.

01:27:25.180 --> 01:27:28.200
But we're just going to sit in the creative soup together.

01:27:28.520 --> 01:27:28.780
Nice.

01:27:29.060 --> 01:27:29.160
Yeah.

01:27:29.340 --> 01:27:31.840
And you know, yeah, it just osmosis.

01:27:32.020 --> 01:27:34.240
Most learning takes place like that.

01:27:34.580 --> 01:27:36.540
I mean, there's there's a lot of different levels,

01:27:36.780 --> 01:27:39.100
but the degree to which you're just absorbing.

01:27:40.400 --> 01:27:43.380
This is one of the things like for creator code coming up,

01:27:43.380 --> 01:27:47.280
for those of you that are part of it, there is going to be a gov of,

01:27:47.340 --> 01:27:49.760
you know, there's going to be a volume of material.

01:27:50.020 --> 01:27:51.120
It's been coming out of me.

01:27:51.120 --> 01:27:55.260
Just this, you know, something new wanted to be created.

01:27:55.920 --> 01:28:01.040
And but at the same time, it's not, I don't want to turn this into an academic exercise.

01:28:01.260 --> 01:28:05.180
And more of the emphasis is going to be on actually doing this stuff,

01:28:05.340 --> 01:28:07.100
doing the deprogramming work.

01:28:07.300 --> 01:28:09.800
So you can do the transformation live time,

01:28:09.940 --> 01:28:12.380
not learn about it and then go have to do it.

01:28:12.720 --> 01:28:16.100
But as a group creating that kind of momentum.

01:28:16.700 --> 01:28:20.620
I'd like to just offer something to people that are starting out in this

01:28:21.120 --> 01:28:22.500
in this work.

01:28:22.780 --> 01:28:23.480
If I okay.

01:28:23.640 --> 01:28:23.780
Thanks.

01:28:24.540 --> 01:28:31.360
Like there is a lot and in order, if you think that you have this expectation

01:28:31.360 --> 01:28:36.120
that you're going to just, you know, grasp it and just know it all.

01:28:36.240 --> 01:28:39.080
It's not something that you learn and then you're done.

01:28:40.000 --> 01:28:43.680
It's a bit of a commitment to yourself and your own growth.

01:28:43.840 --> 01:28:45.260
And I think that's important to know.

01:28:45.580 --> 01:28:48.340
And it's like even when I took the course the first year,

01:28:48.440 --> 01:28:50.060
there's lots I didn't understand.

01:28:50.620 --> 01:28:53.720
Everyone else might have been getting it, but I was in trauma mode still.

01:28:54.060 --> 01:28:57.620
And I felt a little bit behind sometimes and things like that.

01:28:57.940 --> 01:29:02.560
But like you said, I, when I was ready, I came back into it.

01:29:02.840 --> 01:29:07.440
And then I was able to hear it or receive it.

01:29:07.720 --> 01:29:11.460
Because in sympathetic, I couldn't receive, you know,

01:29:11.580 --> 01:29:15.300
and then a lot of that time, it took me back to my childhood,

01:29:15.700 --> 01:29:19.260
you know, when I was in school and not felt safe in my environment,

01:29:19.260 --> 01:29:20.380
I couldn't learn.

01:29:21.060 --> 01:29:21.420
Yeah.

01:29:22.060 --> 01:29:23.160
So right?

01:29:23.700 --> 01:29:24.760
Like how, yeah.

01:29:25.100 --> 01:29:26.740
Anyway, that's a whole nother rabbit hole.

01:29:27.000 --> 01:29:33.520
But yeah, so my advice, if anyone would like it, if you don't, it's all right.

01:29:34.180 --> 01:29:37.180
Is to like really be compassionate with yourself

01:29:37.180 --> 01:29:39.840
when you're trying to learn the new concepts.

01:29:39.840 --> 01:29:42.800
Because they are, they were foreign to me.

01:29:43.560 --> 01:29:47.880
There was a lot of pushback and resistance in my own body.

01:29:47.880 --> 01:29:50.500
But I do see the benefit of it.

01:29:50.520 --> 01:29:55.760
And it's been life changing for me and definitely worth my patience.

01:29:56.900 --> 01:29:57.520
That's beautiful.

01:29:57.960 --> 01:30:00.480
I'm so glad you came to it.

01:30:00.680 --> 01:30:04.200
And then, and then you came back to it of your own free will.

01:30:04.500 --> 01:30:06.520
I didn't, I didn't put you in a headlock.

01:30:06.800 --> 01:30:08.380
No, let's go.

01:30:08.680 --> 01:30:09.940
I need to help you here.

01:30:10.360 --> 01:30:13.260
No, it was, you know, and what kind of brought me back,

01:30:13.300 --> 01:30:15.320
if I might be able to share that small amount,

01:30:15.900 --> 01:30:20.240
was I realized I was downward spiraling again.

01:30:20.340 --> 01:30:24.060
And I was falling into the shadows of a lot of the archetypal energies.

01:30:24.400 --> 01:30:27.160
And I was exhausted and stuck again.

01:30:27.820 --> 01:30:30.780
And then I thought, oh, well, I can go and do the work.

01:30:30.860 --> 01:30:33.520
And it's like, no, I just want to live down in stuck world for a while,

01:30:33.920 --> 01:30:35.180
you know, which is okay.

01:30:35.500 --> 01:30:37.920
Because there are things I learned in the shadow world

01:30:37.920 --> 01:30:41.140
that I wouldn't have seen had I not go out and went down there.

01:30:41.420 --> 01:30:44.440
Maybe I could have, but how, how do you know if you're not aware of them?

01:30:44.440 --> 01:30:47.440
Sometimes they bring that to your awareness.

01:30:47.680 --> 01:30:48.040
Exactly.

01:30:48.300 --> 01:30:51.300
So it has its purpose, you know, I call it the dark night of the soul,

01:30:51.380 --> 01:30:52.700
if you want to put a label on it.

01:30:52.940 --> 01:30:55.700
And I did some digging around in there for a while.

01:30:55.800 --> 01:31:01.140
And then when I was ready to, to heal and had enough of that, I came back

01:31:02.080 --> 01:31:07.460
and started to learn how to kind of deal with what I found on that journey.

01:31:07.980 --> 01:31:08.400
Nice.

01:31:08.640 --> 01:31:08.860
Yeah.

01:31:09.040 --> 01:31:11.440
So I think it's still as important, you know, like,

01:31:11.940 --> 01:31:17.340
so I tried not to, you know, feel lots of times I was carrying a little bit of guilt

01:31:17.340 --> 01:31:19.700
or shame for not continually working on myself.

01:31:19.840 --> 01:31:23.920
Like these are all weird things that we think about and are instilled.

01:31:24.140 --> 01:31:26.980
And it's like you talked, I just want to bring pace back up again.

01:31:27.200 --> 01:31:29.480
It's like everyone's at their own pace.

01:31:29.760 --> 01:31:31.380
Everyone takes information differently.

01:31:32.500 --> 01:31:37.260
And just having people, just allowing that space for them to do that,

01:31:37.300 --> 01:31:38.960
I think is really beautiful.

01:31:40.100 --> 01:31:40.720
Right on.

01:31:40.780 --> 01:31:40.900
Yeah.

01:31:40.900 --> 01:31:41.460
Right on.

01:31:42.120 --> 01:31:42.220
Yeah.

01:31:42.280 --> 01:31:48.200
You can't have the house of free will and then go and try to like engineer, manage people and like

01:31:48.200 --> 01:31:49.340
go faster, go faster.

01:31:49.540 --> 01:31:49.740
Yeah.

01:31:49.860 --> 01:31:50.200
Yeah.

01:31:50.340 --> 01:31:51.180
No, no.

01:31:51.420 --> 01:31:51.820
Like that.

01:31:52.060 --> 01:31:52.300
Yeah.

01:31:52.780 --> 01:32:01.080
And then also, if anyone does want to work with me and do the somatic work with me that I do

01:32:01.080 --> 01:32:05.140
and I help people navigate through their nervous systems, feel free to contact me

01:32:05.140 --> 01:32:07.720
through the Facebook link that Beth sent out.

01:32:07.720 --> 01:32:15.300
Or my email is yogacoachmal at gmail.com.

01:32:15.740 --> 01:32:19.700
And I see clients on Zoom and in person.

01:32:19.880 --> 01:32:26.200
I know a lot of you obviously don't live here, but if you would like help or assistance in any way

01:32:26.200 --> 01:32:32.020
and you resonate with things that I've said, feel free to reach out to me.

01:32:32.240 --> 01:32:34.980
I'd be happy to be in service and help you out.

01:32:35.920 --> 01:32:36.440
Yeah.

01:32:36.440 --> 01:32:38.500
Mel does also in the house of free will.

01:32:38.580 --> 01:32:41.100
There's a recording of your somatics workshop workshop.

01:32:41.200 --> 01:32:42.380
There is a recording there.

01:32:42.640 --> 01:32:42.740
Yeah.

01:32:43.300 --> 01:32:47.640
So that if someone wants to get a taste of what it's like to work with Melanie.

01:32:48.080 --> 01:32:54.040
In addition, there's a ton of other library resources, including upcoming events that

01:32:54.040 --> 01:32:57.220
are that are live, the Round Table and Law.

01:32:57.380 --> 01:33:02.540
So for as little as three bucks a month, which is a donation that I don't demand,

01:33:02.540 --> 01:33:05.780
but I asked for even if people like couldn't afford it for some reason,

01:33:05.900 --> 01:33:09.560
I'm not going to keep them out as long as they're the right kind of person.

01:33:10.900 --> 01:33:14.720
And and then you can come and see, you know, what it's like to work with Melanie,

01:33:14.840 --> 01:33:15.560
which I loved.

01:33:15.800 --> 01:33:17.060
I thought I thought that was fantastic.

01:33:17.140 --> 01:33:18.300
You're a really good teacher.

01:33:18.480 --> 01:33:19.120
You're very present.

01:33:19.540 --> 01:33:21.420
And yeah, and you know your stuff really well.

01:33:22.340 --> 01:33:27.020
Then then you could take her up on and you do online work as well as in person.

01:33:27.040 --> 01:33:27.400
Correct.

01:33:28.760 --> 01:33:30.640
So they could be literally anywhere in the world.

01:33:30.840 --> 01:33:31.460
Yes, they can.

01:33:31.460 --> 01:33:33.920
I've had clients over in the UK.

01:33:34.220 --> 01:33:35.360
I've had clients in Mexico.

01:33:35.960 --> 01:33:40.640
I've worked with people like it doesn't energy works from wherever you are.

01:33:40.680 --> 01:33:42.360
You don't have to be in the same room with somebody.

01:33:43.320 --> 01:33:47.860
And just the, you know, so I've done the whole.

01:33:48.280 --> 01:33:51.520
Okay, let's try this out and see if you're receiving results.

01:33:51.620 --> 01:33:52.820
Did you find value in that?

01:33:53.360 --> 01:33:56.580
Every time, right on every time somebody has said,

01:33:56.640 --> 01:33:59.120
yes, this is what I needed to do.

01:33:59.120 --> 01:34:01.260
Like, thank you, you know, so.

01:34:02.560 --> 01:34:03.640
Yeah, that's beautiful.

01:34:04.020 --> 01:34:04.140
Yeah.

01:34:04.520 --> 01:34:08.980
And Melanie is an excellent coach and I'll just blow a little smoke up your butt right now.

01:34:09.420 --> 01:34:11.320
I look for chances to say that.

01:34:11.640 --> 01:34:15.440
And Melanie's one of the few that I will trust to work with myself

01:34:16.180 --> 01:34:17.680
because I'm so high and mighty.

01:34:21.060 --> 01:34:25.680
But honestly, it was a secret agenda training coaches so that there were people

01:34:25.680 --> 01:34:27.100
I felt comfortable working with.

01:34:27.220 --> 01:34:27.520
Yeah.

01:34:27.520 --> 01:34:33.860
Because, you know, I'm kind of lost to that most of the spiritual new age world

01:34:33.860 --> 01:34:36.600
or the therapeutic world at this stage of the game.

01:34:37.200 --> 01:34:39.920
It's like archetype quizzes don't work on me anymore.

01:34:40.280 --> 01:34:42.880
I know what's behind the scene of them.

01:34:43.080 --> 01:34:45.340
I understand I've been a pattern hunter for a long time.

01:34:46.060 --> 01:34:50.420
My brain goes right to it and analyzes what's in the back end and stuff like that.

01:34:50.980 --> 01:34:55.100
So it's been a huge, huge help to me.

01:34:55.100 --> 01:34:59.520
I'm eternally grateful that you've been there for me as a partner

01:34:59.520 --> 01:35:03.760
and a coach at times in a really, really excellent way.

01:35:04.080 --> 01:35:04.580
Thank you.

01:35:04.920 --> 01:35:05.300
You are welcome.

01:35:05.580 --> 01:35:06.520
That means a lot to me, actually.

01:35:06.860 --> 01:35:06.980
Right.

01:35:07.120 --> 01:35:07.380
A lot.

01:35:07.660 --> 01:35:08.880
So I endorse Melanie.

01:35:11.120 --> 01:35:12.560
Yeah, yeah.

01:35:14.480 --> 01:35:17.440
It was interesting after we did our last

01:35:17.440 --> 01:35:22.080
apprenticing, Beth was one of the students or Beth, I can't remember,

01:35:22.080 --> 01:35:26.520
who was was saying, hey, we should do a 30 day release challenge.

01:35:26.960 --> 01:35:30.900
And I was looking at the computer and I was like, oh, I still want to do that.

01:35:30.940 --> 01:35:34.300
And Beth says, and I'm going to throw my name in there to be coach.

01:35:34.480 --> 01:35:36.520
And immediately I sent her a message, I'll be your coach.

01:35:37.180 --> 01:35:38.480
Or do you want to do it with me?

01:35:38.660 --> 01:35:38.780
Yeah.

01:35:38.840 --> 01:35:40.140
Like I just jumped instantly.

01:35:40.340 --> 01:35:41.080
I was like, wow.

01:35:41.280 --> 01:35:42.940
And I was like, wow, did stuff come up?

01:35:43.060 --> 01:35:44.340
Like I'm not good enough.

01:35:44.560 --> 01:35:45.200
I can't do it.

01:35:45.300 --> 01:35:45.920
I'm not perfect.

01:35:46.260 --> 01:35:49.640
Why, you know, just all these things, but it helped me to develop

01:35:49.640 --> 01:35:57.560
what I feel like a very good coaching practice now.

01:35:58.360 --> 01:36:04.160
And I also incorporate a lot of the coaching work I've learned and the emotional stuff

01:36:04.160 --> 01:36:06.800
into my somatic yoga classes.

01:36:07.240 --> 01:36:10.100
So that's kind of where I've integrated what I've learned from you.

01:36:10.760 --> 01:36:17.900
And also too, with vision boarding with people, you know, often we have a vision for ourselves

01:36:18.620 --> 01:36:19.940
and we can't get there.

01:36:20.580 --> 01:36:25.740
Well, that's, you know, typically because of the programming or thoughts that we have

01:36:25.740 --> 01:36:27.400
about ourselves and our unconscious.

01:36:27.840 --> 01:36:32.580
So I also work with people to release on that when they have visions for themselves

01:36:32.580 --> 01:36:33.480
and can't get there.

01:36:33.840 --> 01:36:38.640
And also something that I've noticed in my own work that I do with myself,

01:36:39.360 --> 01:36:41.020
learning how to embody that.

01:36:41.280 --> 01:36:47.380
There's some days I go into that meditation where I'm looking and stepping into my future

01:36:47.900 --> 01:36:49.320
and it's not there.

01:36:49.660 --> 01:36:50.860
The images aren't coming.

01:36:51.440 --> 01:36:56.180
And what I notice about myself in that point is that there's a disturbance.

01:36:57.040 --> 01:36:57.920
There's distortion.

01:36:59.060 --> 01:37:05.460
So what I'll do is stop the meditation and go back into the coaching,

01:37:05.640 --> 01:37:06.640
deprogramming work.

01:37:07.180 --> 01:37:11.060
And I coach myself or get on a call with somebody at some point,

01:37:11.140 --> 01:37:14.220
if I can't find it myself and release it.

01:37:15.000 --> 01:37:20.960
Once I feel clear and free of it, then I put the meditation back on

01:37:20.960 --> 01:37:23.020
and there come the visions again.

01:37:24.260 --> 01:37:24.900
Okay.

01:37:25.200 --> 01:37:29.040
So that's where that work is really important for me.

01:37:29.480 --> 01:37:36.300
You know, instead of trying to force visions to come in or force outcomes,

01:37:36.720 --> 01:37:38.880
it's like the distortion will come.

01:37:39.240 --> 01:37:39.880
Right.

01:37:39.980 --> 01:37:43.540
As a messenger, that's that little golden nugget ticket that'll, you know,

01:37:43.540 --> 01:37:45.420
so that's where that work comes in.

01:37:45.600 --> 01:37:47.060
It's like, what emotion am I feeling?

01:37:47.240 --> 01:37:47.980
What is it wanting?

01:37:48.240 --> 01:37:49.360
What is the core wound?

01:37:50.140 --> 01:37:50.380
Yeah.

01:37:50.560 --> 01:37:53.180
Well, I'm going to let that go and then clarity.

01:37:53.860 --> 01:37:54.100
Yeah.

01:37:54.540 --> 01:37:54.600
Yeah.

01:37:54.920 --> 01:38:00.040
So have you been ever amazed how quickly you can get through to the other side

01:38:00.040 --> 01:38:01.880
of something that you thought was,

01:38:02.140 --> 01:38:07.340
Oh gosh, something that I thought I would literally like die from that.

01:38:07.440 --> 01:38:11.160
I wanted just that I thought was causing me so much pain and agony.

01:38:11.760 --> 01:38:13.800
And when the programings let go of,

01:38:14.200 --> 01:38:17.760
and then you re ask me how I think about that situation now,

01:38:19.040 --> 01:38:22.760
I'm like, ah, there's nothing.

01:38:22.940 --> 01:38:24.060
There's nothing to grasp.

01:38:24.460 --> 01:38:25.360
There's no suffering.

01:38:25.740 --> 01:38:28.980
There's no, it's like, oh yeah, that's going to happen.

01:38:29.180 --> 01:38:29.420
Okay.

01:38:30.540 --> 01:38:31.260
All right.

01:38:31.900 --> 01:38:33.120
Just matter of fact.

01:38:33.500 --> 01:38:34.260
Matter of fact.

01:38:34.540 --> 01:38:34.740
Yeah.

01:38:35.080 --> 01:38:35.200
Yeah.

01:38:35.460 --> 01:38:35.660
Amazing.

01:38:36.040 --> 01:38:39.980
And then I like every time it happens, there's this a bit of a disbelief.

01:38:39.980 --> 01:38:42.980
You know, the mechanism starts to kick in.

01:38:43.140 --> 01:38:43.480
Like really?

01:38:44.540 --> 01:38:46.480
Am I really not activated by that?

01:38:47.980 --> 01:38:48.500
Yeah.

01:38:48.820 --> 01:38:49.660
It can't be that easy.

01:38:49.960 --> 01:38:50.820
It can't be that fast.

01:38:51.040 --> 01:38:51.760
It actually can.

01:38:52.040 --> 01:38:52.300
Right.

01:38:52.720 --> 01:38:52.860
Right.

01:38:53.160 --> 01:38:53.400
Right.

01:38:53.580 --> 01:38:53.680
Exactly.

01:38:54.620 --> 01:38:54.760
Yeah.

01:38:55.100 --> 01:38:59.240
And would you would you qualify if somebody said is deprogramming work difficult?

01:38:59.500 --> 01:39:00.360
What would you say to them?

01:39:08.330 --> 01:39:09.770
It's a part of it.

01:39:11.450 --> 01:39:11.970
Yes.

01:39:12.890 --> 01:39:13.810
Yes, I would.

01:39:14.090 --> 01:39:14.350
Yeah.

01:39:14.350 --> 01:39:14.790
Yeah.

01:39:14.850 --> 01:39:15.930
Which part of it is hard?

01:39:16.750 --> 01:39:21.410
The part where you have to face the things that you are avoiding,

01:39:22.090 --> 01:39:24.050
I think would be the hardest part.

01:39:24.330 --> 01:39:24.450
Yeah.

01:39:24.790 --> 01:39:28.730
The parts that you've kind of tucked away, you don't want to see or face

01:39:28.730 --> 01:39:32.070
without either your situation or others or yourself

01:39:33.090 --> 01:39:35.030
is I think a hard pill to swallow.

01:39:36.790 --> 01:39:37.310
Exactly.

01:39:37.970 --> 01:39:43.430
It's difficult to face things that maybe you've been telling yourself a story that

01:39:43.430 --> 01:39:44.890
doesn't agree to.

01:39:45.130 --> 01:39:48.990
So then there's some conflict that might arise inside.

01:39:49.310 --> 01:39:54.550
Like this is what I've been the story I've been telling, but it's really not true

01:39:55.180 --> 01:40:00.350
because there's a nugget there that's kind of holding hostage a bit maybe.

01:40:00.610 --> 01:40:04.730
And it's a hard nut to like a hard nut to crack maybe to

01:40:05.670 --> 01:40:08.010
have a look at those things about yourself.

01:40:08.570 --> 01:40:13.410
Like for me, a lot of embarrassment and shame comes up in that instance.

01:40:14.230 --> 01:40:17.610
I can talk about pretty freely because it happens often.

01:40:18.570 --> 01:40:22.450
I laugh like it's a joke, but it's really not when I'm dealing with it.

01:40:22.650 --> 01:40:23.510
It's yeah, it's difficult.

01:40:23.710 --> 01:40:25.150
Who wants to face their own shame?

01:40:25.630 --> 01:40:30.910
Like that's something I ran for my whole life.

01:40:30.910 --> 01:40:37.870
And now, hello, thank you.

01:40:38.050 --> 01:40:40.410
I'll feel you feel the shame now.

01:40:41.270 --> 01:40:46.630
And then really after the shame transmits itself, was that shame really justified?

01:40:47.730 --> 01:40:49.210
Often not, right?

01:40:49.510 --> 01:40:49.770
Yeah.

01:40:50.110 --> 01:40:50.770
Like really?

01:40:51.230 --> 01:40:51.390
Yeah.

01:40:52.130 --> 01:40:52.870
Yeah, exactly.

01:40:53.110 --> 01:40:56.330
And I mean, who didn't hear you should be ashamed of yourself

01:40:56.330 --> 01:40:58.690
or they should be ashamed of themselves, right?

01:40:58.690 --> 01:41:02.590
It's a it's a cultural mechanism to apply shame.

01:41:02.750 --> 01:41:08.050
So no surprising that or no surprise we have internalized it to such a great degree

01:41:08.050 --> 01:41:10.830
in order to be a member of this society in this culture.

01:41:11.130 --> 01:41:11.610
Yeah.

01:41:12.370 --> 01:41:14.510
Yeah, that's that's it's very true.

01:41:14.630 --> 01:41:15.510
It is formidable.

01:41:15.950 --> 01:41:17.030
It is formidable work.

01:41:17.150 --> 01:41:17.570
I'm sorry.

01:41:17.710 --> 01:41:20.510
Like it just it just is if I said it any other way,

01:41:21.090 --> 01:41:25.330
then I don't want to mislead people and say, oh, this is a little tip tool through the

01:41:25.330 --> 01:41:27.810
tulips and it's all easy.

01:41:28.350 --> 01:41:29.850
And I'll say the opposite.

01:41:29.950 --> 01:41:31.390
It's like, you're going to want to quit.

01:41:31.970 --> 01:41:32.310
Yes.

01:41:32.630 --> 01:41:36.090
There were many times I threw myself on the floor and wanted to die.

01:41:37.150 --> 01:41:39.510
And, you know, this is good promotion.

01:41:39.830 --> 01:41:39.930
Yeah.

01:41:41.670 --> 01:41:42.530
Right ago.

01:41:42.790 --> 01:41:42.910
Yeah.

01:41:43.310 --> 01:41:44.290
But it's truth.

01:41:44.630 --> 01:41:48.970
And I'm an honest I honesty is one of my values, which I learned.

01:41:49.170 --> 01:41:52.870
I did not know that about myself and honesty is a value of mine.

01:41:52.870 --> 01:41:58.850
And, you know, I threw myself on the floor, you know, with fists like a toddler wanting to

01:41:58.850 --> 01:42:00.190
die and not move forward.

01:42:00.370 --> 01:42:06.450
And then somewhere in the back in my head, you know, I heard Beth, you know, just keep going.

01:42:07.310 --> 01:42:10.390
And I was like, no, I don't want to, you know.

01:42:10.590 --> 01:42:15.010
And yeah, when you first start, you uncover some stuff, especially for me and my age,

01:42:15.070 --> 01:42:17.190
you know, like I'm not in my 20s.

01:42:17.330 --> 01:42:21.550
I I've I've got a lot of luggage, you know, I got a lot of baggage.

01:42:21.550 --> 01:42:26.130
So yes, it's bringing some but it's less.

01:42:27.710 --> 01:42:30.090
Nah, still some of it can be painful.

01:42:30.690 --> 01:42:34.130
But it's but you understand you understand its purpose.

01:42:34.770 --> 01:42:35.170
Yeah.

01:42:35.590 --> 01:42:41.610
You know that if you if the suffering comes up, literally it's a wave in the ocean

01:42:41.610 --> 01:42:44.110
and waves only last 60 to 90 seconds.

01:42:44.490 --> 01:42:44.770
Yeah.

01:42:45.290 --> 01:42:51.290
And when you know that and you can just hang on while that wave is crashing

01:42:51.290 --> 01:42:57.430
on you and humbling the crap out of you, if you just hang on, it's gone.

01:42:58.750 --> 01:42:59.150
I know.

01:42:59.670 --> 01:43:05.230
Like magic or a miracle, if you can kind of withstand that that hammering of that

01:43:05.230 --> 01:43:09.470
emotional turmoil is what I call it, actually, it's emotional turmoil.

01:43:11.130 --> 01:43:15.030
Man, you're like you're you're golden after that.

01:43:15.110 --> 01:43:16.170
There's just like that.

01:43:16.950 --> 01:43:18.550
Yeah, you know, yeah.

01:43:18.550 --> 01:43:21.930
And that's why I like to take it right to the level of the programming

01:43:21.930 --> 01:43:25.490
because you can do a lot of that kind of surfing in life.

01:43:25.910 --> 01:43:26.070
Exactly.

01:43:26.490 --> 01:43:26.730
Exactly.

01:43:27.190 --> 01:43:28.570
And you do move things.

01:43:29.010 --> 01:43:32.830
But but there is there is more layers and.

01:43:34.030 --> 01:43:34.430
Yeah.

01:43:34.470 --> 01:43:38.310
And if you want to make more lasting changes, which does never

01:43:38.950 --> 01:43:41.190
means that old stuff isn't going to come up.

01:43:41.310 --> 01:43:41.610
It does.

01:43:41.930 --> 01:43:45.450
I've now lived long enough to see that a lot of stuff comes around.

01:43:45.450 --> 01:43:49.550
But at new levels and, you know, you're not stuck where you were,

01:43:50.190 --> 01:43:53.770
but you might find a new place, a new sticky point within

01:43:54.290 --> 01:43:56.790
a certain dynamic or a pattern of some kind.

01:43:57.690 --> 01:43:59.830
And, you know, in good.

01:44:00.270 --> 01:44:06.490
Well, I when I when I think like is important to say is this part is,

01:44:06.530 --> 01:44:08.510
you know, when I said I threw myself on the floor,

01:44:09.810 --> 01:44:11.570
it felt like I was going to die.

01:44:12.350 --> 01:44:16.830
And you and I talked about this before about the brain, you know,

01:44:16.910 --> 01:44:20.950
doesn't know the difference if you're physically dying or if your ego,

01:44:21.210 --> 01:44:23.790
self survival mechanisms are dying.

01:44:24.110 --> 01:44:24.170
Right.

01:44:24.610 --> 01:44:26.650
And that's the feeling that you have.

01:44:27.970 --> 01:44:30.070
So, right, right.

01:44:30.190 --> 01:44:30.630
Exactly.

01:44:30.990 --> 01:44:34.310
But one of the questions after you're coaching someone through that

01:44:34.310 --> 01:44:38.670
emotional turmoil later is and not to put a joke on this,

01:44:38.670 --> 01:44:40.810
because it's super serious as you're going through it.

01:44:40.810 --> 01:44:41.970
It feels so real.

01:44:42.350 --> 01:44:45.030
But what did we die?

01:44:46.450 --> 01:44:48.590
No, we're still here.

01:44:49.310 --> 01:44:54.630
So then recognizing that that's just a layer like a snake who sheds its skin,

01:44:55.390 --> 01:44:58.870
you know, there's a little bit of pain while that releases.

01:44:59.070 --> 01:45:01.330
And then you've got this new skin growth now,

01:45:01.980 --> 01:45:04.210
you know, or a flower, I think of, you know,

01:45:04.250 --> 01:45:08.370
you're in a tiny little bud enclosed in that safety net.

01:45:08.370 --> 01:45:11.510
But you've got to kind of break free to grow.

01:45:11.670 --> 01:45:14.910
Otherwise, you'll just stay that forever.

01:45:15.570 --> 01:45:17.890
And there's a little bit of push that happens,

01:45:18.170 --> 01:45:19.390
a little bit of pain to get through that.

01:45:20.170 --> 01:45:20.650
Exactly.

01:45:20.930 --> 01:45:24.830
Yeah, there's a meme that has gone around about the violence that a seed goes through,

01:45:25.430 --> 01:45:26.530
like a bud, right?

01:45:26.710 --> 01:45:32.610
Like to crack open that shell and to literally die to the form of the seed

01:45:32.610 --> 01:45:35.510
such so that new growth can come out of it.

01:45:35.510 --> 01:45:42.290
And yeah, so we really it's it behooves us to study death and let death be our teacher,

01:45:42.630 --> 01:45:46.250
which sounds morbid, but it's the most life-giving thing ever.

01:45:46.770 --> 01:45:52.070
When I know, and you know, I think a lot of times I think back to getting cancer

01:45:52.070 --> 01:45:56.810
and things like that, I'm pretty sure I had a big fear of death

01:45:56.810 --> 01:45:59.070
underlying in my subconscious programming.

01:45:59.650 --> 01:46:02.830
You know, and I didn't want to look at death or learn about it,

01:46:02.830 --> 01:46:11.650
or my face, my own immortality, mortality, mortality, I didn't want to face that.

01:46:12.090 --> 01:46:15.810
And then blindsided head on like a brick wall, there it was.

01:46:16.830 --> 01:46:17.230
Exactly.

01:46:17.610 --> 01:46:17.730
Yeah.

01:46:18.490 --> 01:46:18.690
Yeah.

01:46:18.850 --> 01:46:19.130
Same thing.

01:46:19.230 --> 01:46:21.350
I remember it at a very early age being afraid.

01:46:21.830 --> 01:46:27.630
I was afraid of cancer in particular because I had a medical family full of all the,

01:46:27.710 --> 01:46:28.870
and they would say the big C.

01:46:29.030 --> 01:46:30.070
They wouldn't even say the word.

01:46:30.510 --> 01:46:31.390
It was so frightening.

01:46:31.390 --> 01:46:33.630
You couldn't use the word, right?

01:46:34.110 --> 01:46:36.550
It became a really like a scare.

01:46:36.810 --> 01:46:39.250
It's like, oh, you know, enemy within.

01:46:39.290 --> 01:46:40.550
Can I talk about it?

01:46:40.750 --> 01:46:41.750
Can I, oh, you had that?

01:46:41.930 --> 01:46:42.670
Oh, you poor thing.

01:46:42.850 --> 01:46:43.290
It's like what?

01:46:44.350 --> 01:46:47.910
Like, oh, how do I, how do I, how do I receive that?

01:46:48.150 --> 01:46:48.430
Yeah.

01:46:48.650 --> 01:46:52.270
You know, yeah, I pray for future generations that we know it's,

01:46:52.350 --> 01:46:55.830
yes, it's advanced toxicity and it is a serious situation.

01:46:56.050 --> 01:46:57.530
So that's not to take away from it.

01:46:57.870 --> 01:46:58.070
That's right.

01:46:58.390 --> 01:46:59.270
No, it was serious.

01:46:59.270 --> 01:47:04.110
I, you know, I could have taken the off ramp, you know,

01:47:04.170 --> 01:47:05.870
and exited the world.

01:47:06.150 --> 01:47:10.090
But, you know, something inside me said, no, no.

01:47:11.130 --> 01:47:11.510
Not yet.

01:47:11.870 --> 01:47:12.110
Not yet.

01:47:13.410 --> 01:47:15.410
And I'm glad I said that to myself.

01:47:15.650 --> 01:47:16.210
Yeah, me too.

01:47:16.430 --> 01:47:21.870
That was my, my, my higher self taking, taking command over everything.

01:47:22.930 --> 01:47:23.410
So.

01:47:23.810 --> 01:47:24.030
Beautiful.

01:47:24.330 --> 01:47:26.130
Well, I will never forget our divine meeting.

01:47:27.170 --> 01:47:27.590
I am fast.

01:47:28.170 --> 01:47:28.790
Yeah, yeah.

01:47:28.790 --> 01:47:29.450
Exactly.

01:47:29.730 --> 01:47:32.830
You know, they say when the, when the student is ready,

01:47:32.930 --> 01:47:34.190
the teacher appears, right?

01:47:35.470 --> 01:47:37.210
And, and there she was.

01:47:37.530 --> 01:47:42.170
And she went through the journey and was really deep diving her,

01:47:42.370 --> 01:47:45.350
her own, um, wounding and things.

01:47:45.750 --> 01:47:48.930
And, you know, the life I lived in didn't know how to do that.

01:47:49.770 --> 01:47:55.530
You know, the people around me and in my community, we, uh, yeah.

01:47:58.650 --> 01:48:01.150
So, a, a, a bet of fresh air.

01:48:01.530 --> 01:48:02.230
There you go.

01:48:02.530 --> 01:48:03.210
Oh, wait, nice.

01:48:03.570 --> 01:48:07.490
Wait, even though, even though it was tough work, you know,

01:48:08.230 --> 01:48:11.370
just leaving some of the, the comments, uh, I almost died,

01:48:11.490 --> 01:48:11.930
but I didn't.

01:48:12.030 --> 01:48:12.670
I'm still here.

01:48:13.430 --> 01:48:14.470
There is no death.

01:48:15.330 --> 01:48:15.670
Nice.

01:48:15.850 --> 01:48:16.670
Death is a stalker.

01:48:16.870 --> 01:48:18.130
The Grim Reaper, right?

01:48:20.070 --> 01:48:20.350
Nice.

01:48:20.490 --> 01:48:24.710
I want to put this up so I've got some dysfunction in my mouse going on.

01:48:26.710 --> 01:48:30.010
Oh, the crying, the salt to heal the wounds inside out.

01:48:30.350 --> 01:48:30.370
Yeah.

01:48:30.970 --> 01:48:31.110
Yeah.

01:48:31.230 --> 01:48:31.970
The salt and the tears.

01:48:32.250 --> 01:48:32.890
It's, it's a thing.

01:48:33.110 --> 01:48:34.870
Oh, it's totally electricity.

01:48:35.810 --> 01:48:36.690
And, uh, yeah.

01:48:37.150 --> 01:48:38.190
And there is no death.

01:48:38.390 --> 01:48:42.170
True story, but you got to go through death to really know that.

01:48:42.970 --> 01:48:44.850
And death is a stalker.

01:48:45.090 --> 01:48:45.970
It won't leave you alone.

01:48:46.070 --> 01:48:48.090
And that's the good part, believe it or not.

01:48:48.350 --> 01:48:50.310
Well, death teaches you how to live.

01:48:50.610 --> 01:48:50.850
Yeah.

01:48:50.990 --> 01:48:52.250
It's just, yes, it did.

01:48:52.250 --> 01:48:56.750
Me facing my own, you know, the possibility that I could die at that point,

01:48:58.170 --> 01:49:02.750
it forced me to go on a path of learning what, how to live.

01:49:03.210 --> 01:49:03.270
Yeah.

01:49:03.390 --> 01:49:06.790
Like it may have taken me, it didn't, this doesn't just happen overnight.

01:49:07.350 --> 01:49:11.310
Like I probably had cancer, it was maybe nine or 10 years ago now.

01:49:11.650 --> 01:49:11.890
Right.

01:49:12.250 --> 01:49:16.650
You know, so the, the journey, you know, it's not like, oh, I'm going to do this

01:49:16.650 --> 01:49:18.590
work now and I'm going to learn how to live in a month.

01:49:18.590 --> 01:49:23.270
It's like, no, no, no, there's, there's a process that you have to go to get there.

01:49:23.430 --> 01:49:23.830
Yeah.

01:49:23.910 --> 01:49:24.270
Yeah.

01:49:24.270 --> 01:49:24.570
Yeah.

01:49:24.670 --> 01:49:25.070
Exactly.

01:49:25.290 --> 01:49:28.130
Everything accumulates over time and it turns into a journey.

01:49:28.250 --> 01:49:28.370
A journey.

01:49:28.570 --> 01:49:28.950
You got it.

01:49:29.050 --> 01:49:29.110
Yeah.

01:49:29.290 --> 01:49:29.810
You got it.

01:49:30.650 --> 01:49:33.730
Live every moment, like it's going to be your last.

01:49:33.850 --> 01:49:34.090
Exactly.

01:49:34.330 --> 01:49:35.870
That's, that's a cliche for a reason.

01:49:36.150 --> 01:49:36.550
Right.

01:49:36.710 --> 01:49:38.950
That's, the Toltec say it too.

01:49:39.130 --> 01:49:42.770
That, uh, be aware of your death every moment that they would say.

01:49:43.150 --> 01:49:43.270
Yeah.

01:49:43.510 --> 01:49:43.690
Yeah.

01:49:43.770 --> 01:49:44.150
Exactly.

01:49:44.390 --> 01:49:48.210
Never forget some, some might say, oh, you guys are so dark and so

01:49:48.210 --> 01:49:51.090
something or other, but, uh, I think y'all get me here.

01:49:51.910 --> 01:49:56.690
And, uh, we're actively writing our own intention filled endings.

01:49:57.050 --> 01:49:58.650
Love yourself inside out.

01:49:58.750 --> 01:49:58.990
Beautiful.

01:49:59.830 --> 01:50:02.510
And the salt to heal the wounds inside.

01:50:02.730 --> 01:50:03.010
Yeah.

01:50:03.150 --> 01:50:07.330
Interesting how salt became known as a healer.

01:50:07.810 --> 01:50:09.590
I think about a lot of comments here.

01:50:11.150 --> 01:50:12.810
Always a student, Jenny G.

01:50:13.070 --> 01:50:13.230
Yep.

01:50:13.410 --> 01:50:13.750
Hmm.

01:50:13.950 --> 01:50:14.770
Why stop learning?

01:50:15.330 --> 01:50:15.770
Yeah.

01:50:16.130 --> 01:50:16.370
Yeah.

01:50:16.550 --> 01:50:17.530
I'm going through the pain of that.

01:50:17.530 --> 01:50:19.090
Exercises with trauma.

01:50:19.250 --> 01:50:20.210
They're called trauma releasing.

01:50:20.450 --> 01:50:20.790
Yes.

01:50:20.970 --> 01:50:21.210
Yeah.

01:50:21.270 --> 01:50:22.510
And, and somatics.

01:50:22.750 --> 01:50:29.590
There's a lot of, um, movements, uh, that we do in a somatic class

01:50:29.590 --> 01:50:35.390
where you are working with the psoas muscle and, um, activating, uh, stored things,

01:50:35.850 --> 01:50:39.790
stored emotions, not things, uh, events, things in, in your hips.

01:50:40.030 --> 01:50:43.770
And we go through a really gentle way of awakening.

01:50:44.210 --> 01:50:46.570
They call it awakening the tiger, actually.

01:50:46.570 --> 01:50:52.430
And after you awaken, you move your legs in a certain, uh, positioning.

01:50:52.930 --> 01:50:55.950
And what happens is your legs will start to tremor.

01:50:56.990 --> 01:51:03.030
And just like in the wild, uh, when things after being chased will naturally shake.

01:51:03.450 --> 01:51:07.010
There's videos of a polar bear running because there's a helicopter chasing it

01:51:07.010 --> 01:51:08.070
and they tranquilize it.

01:51:08.170 --> 01:51:13.930
And when the freeze response comes off, the, the polar bear starts to shake and convulse.

01:51:14.170 --> 01:51:14.430
Wow.

01:51:14.430 --> 01:51:16.810
So in, yeah, I know.

01:51:18.170 --> 01:51:25.270
But, so in the, uh, trauma informed, uh, movement classes that I, that I do, um,

01:51:25.530 --> 01:51:31.350
there is a place where there's allowed, the body is allowed to let go in a really

01:51:31.970 --> 01:51:33.090
gentle way.

01:51:33.430 --> 01:51:34.750
It's not scary.

01:51:35.110 --> 01:51:37.750
It's not, uh, like, oh, what's happening to me?

01:51:37.990 --> 01:51:42.250
It's, it's a beautiful, you become a beautiful witness of your own release.

01:51:42.550 --> 01:51:43.110
Nice.

01:51:43.110 --> 01:51:44.230
And it's at your own pace.

01:51:44.470 --> 01:51:49.710
Like you say once before, so if the legs are, um, at a cobbler's pose or open position,

01:51:50.230 --> 01:51:53.810
you have the ability to control the amount that your body's letting go.

01:51:54.170 --> 01:51:54.790
You do.

01:51:55.270 --> 01:51:55.450
Yeah.

01:51:55.530 --> 01:51:55.990
Not me.

01:51:56.250 --> 01:51:57.170
It's your experience.

01:51:57.470 --> 01:52:01.330
So if you don't, if you're not sure what's happening and don't want to go through that,

01:52:01.410 --> 01:52:03.950
you have the ability to close the knees and hug into chest.

01:52:04.750 --> 01:52:08.650
If you want to, uh, allow the experience more because you want,

01:52:08.710 --> 01:52:12.350
you like it and you want to release you of the ability to shift your legs into a different

01:52:12.350 --> 01:52:15.390
position, which will allow more of the impact to release.

01:52:15.870 --> 01:52:16.050
Nice.

01:52:17.890 --> 01:52:17.990
Yeah.

01:52:18.090 --> 01:52:19.390
Choice is the, is the big thing.

01:52:19.510 --> 01:52:23.750
That's what I noticed with, uh, with everything that people are much more likely,

01:52:24.010 --> 01:52:29.230
I know we talked about, but there's repeating that they're much more likely to receive your

01:52:29.230 --> 01:52:35.330
invitation when there's, they know it's, it's entirely their choice to do it or not.

01:52:35.590 --> 01:52:38.950
And, uh, I always, I always say, you know how, uh, one of the things about

01:52:38.950 --> 01:52:41.870
my courses, I can't really take credit for it.

01:52:41.870 --> 01:52:43.490
Honestly, I'm not engineering.

01:52:43.830 --> 01:52:49.370
I'm not making it happen, but the, the quality of the relationships that get created through

01:52:50.030 --> 01:52:53.330
these containers of courses is staggering.

01:52:53.630 --> 01:52:55.890
Sometimes I look back and I can't believe it.

01:52:56.030 --> 01:53:00.170
You know, people in 2022 are still meeting every single week.

01:53:01.170 --> 01:53:06.150
And, you know, that 30 day challenge, I look behind me and I think somebody had already,

01:53:06.590 --> 01:53:10.590
one of the pairs, maybe even people who are here had gone like 120 days or something.

01:53:10.990 --> 01:53:12.090
You know, never mind 30.

01:53:12.250 --> 01:53:12.390
Yeah.

01:53:12.770 --> 01:53:13.090
Yeah.

01:53:13.250 --> 01:53:18.930
And I know you and I kept going way beyond, way past the 30s, we just lost count.

01:53:19.350 --> 01:53:21.630
Well, there was just a bit of a momentum that was happening.

01:53:21.990 --> 01:53:25.050
And, and, you know, I, I do release every day with a coach.

01:53:25.310 --> 01:53:30.430
No, but with myself, like I do take that time if I have a disturbing sensation,

01:53:30.870 --> 01:53:32.590
you know, that says, Hey, have a look at me.

01:53:33.590 --> 01:53:38.230
It just helps to keep my vessel, uh, that we're transparent, I guess,

01:53:38.230 --> 01:53:44.170
or, or this are that clean slate a bit more than to walk around with all the cloudiness.

01:53:44.890 --> 01:53:45.330
Exactly.

01:53:45.550 --> 01:53:45.670
Yeah.

01:53:45.750 --> 01:53:50.250
The word constipation comes to mind the same, the same way that our physical body gets backed up.

01:53:50.470 --> 01:53:52.950
We take in so many experiences.

01:53:53.250 --> 01:53:57.330
We already have so much stored energy from past experiences.

01:53:57.690 --> 01:54:03.050
It's really easy to bottleneck and, uh, and then, and then a lot of pressure gets created

01:54:03.590 --> 01:54:05.150
and you don't want to go there.

01:54:05.470 --> 01:54:07.690
You know, you'll develop a bigger and bigger aversion.

01:54:08.230 --> 01:54:09.090
To looking in.

01:54:09.310 --> 01:54:11.970
So it's a kind of, in a way, it's a kind of hygiene.

01:54:12.170 --> 01:54:16.370
I don't use this word very much, but to, but to just every day in a hygiene, right?

01:54:16.570 --> 01:54:17.690
Like every day you brush your teeth.

01:54:17.790 --> 01:54:20.230
Every day you go to the bathroom, hopefully several times.

01:54:20.470 --> 01:54:24.930
Every day you do some inner work to let the shit go.

01:54:25.810 --> 01:54:25.930
Yeah.

01:54:26.010 --> 01:54:28.690
I think it's really what self care is all about.

01:54:29.550 --> 01:54:29.950
Yeah.

01:54:30.070 --> 01:54:34.290
Really is to take a look at yourself and, and how can I care for you today?

01:54:35.190 --> 01:54:40.530
Like when you're in that meditative state and, and, and you, you know, you're getting a

01:54:40.530 --> 01:54:45.910
divine connection with earth and also, um, sky and, and all of that.

01:54:46.350 --> 01:54:49.170
And it's like, what do I need right now?

01:54:50.410 --> 01:54:54.990
You know, and I automatically just do this because it's like, I want my heart to speak to me.

01:54:55.290 --> 01:54:55.650
Right.

01:54:56.290 --> 01:54:58.150
What, what can I do for you right now?

01:54:58.370 --> 01:54:58.630
Right.

01:54:59.090 --> 01:54:59.270
Yeah.

01:54:59.330 --> 01:55:02.430
It's like, oh, you need to go for a walk.

01:55:02.430 --> 01:55:04.610
Oh, you need to go and get groceries.

01:55:05.010 --> 01:55:07.070
Oh, you need to take a bath.

01:55:07.250 --> 01:55:08.830
You need to take a five minute rest.

01:55:09.150 --> 01:55:10.630
Oh, you need to go to the bathroom.

01:55:11.270 --> 01:55:12.190
I know, I know.

01:55:12.410 --> 01:55:13.270
Oh, right.

01:55:13.350 --> 01:55:14.850
It's like, oh, yeah.

01:55:15.110 --> 01:55:20.510
It's like, because we become so unconscious to, to the needs of our body, a lot of times

01:55:20.510 --> 01:55:25.130
we're in our heads, you know, and it's, so it's like, what can I, what do you need

01:55:25.130 --> 01:55:27.810
right now when you're panicking, when you feel that state of panic?

01:55:28.170 --> 01:55:29.030
Right, right.

01:55:29.030 --> 01:55:33.570
Just that communication that you have, I think is really embodying self-care.

01:55:34.270 --> 01:55:34.630
Exactly.

01:55:34.990 --> 01:55:35.070
Exactly.

01:55:35.530 --> 01:55:37.390
And there's even a shadow on the self-care.

01:55:37.950 --> 01:55:42.030
I don't know if it's ever happened to you, but there's, there, you know, there comes

01:55:42.030 --> 01:55:45.910
times where so much of your attention is on, like, is my body okay?

01:55:46.070 --> 01:55:46.670
Is my body okay?

01:55:46.810 --> 01:55:47.670
Did I get what I need?

01:55:47.970 --> 01:55:48.930
Did I get the nutrients?

01:55:49.710 --> 01:55:50.810
Do I need to go to the bathroom?

01:55:51.110 --> 01:55:54.650
Do I, yeah, because, yeah, and, and I think it's a lover archetype thing

01:55:54.650 --> 01:55:57.490
where, where there's a certain search for perfection.

01:55:57.970 --> 01:56:00.850
And in, in, in the physical experience.

01:56:01.510 --> 01:56:06.030
And I know Garrett comes across or comes up against that when people are like, oh,

01:56:06.030 --> 01:56:08.770
well, I've got a little mole here and I don't like it.

01:56:08.790 --> 01:56:09.870
And how do I get rid of it?

01:56:09.930 --> 01:56:11.210
Even that, you know, they,

01:56:11.230 --> 01:56:12.330
How do I get rid of it?

01:56:12.390 --> 01:56:13.190
Is it a two-phrase?

01:56:13.370 --> 01:56:13.670
Oh, yeah.

01:56:13.870 --> 01:56:15.030
It's not getting rid of it.

01:56:15.090 --> 01:56:17.450
How can I embrace what this is trying to tell me?

01:56:18.250 --> 01:56:18.850
Right, right.

01:56:19.010 --> 01:56:20.210
As a way, as a way through.

01:56:20.610 --> 01:56:21.390
Yeah, yeah, true.

01:56:21.630 --> 01:56:24.890
But, you know, getting into the, the fine points, I can see, I'll do it

01:56:24.890 --> 01:56:26.170
with my home because I have the luxury.

01:56:26.170 --> 01:56:27.690
I think like a little bit of an obsession.

01:56:28.150 --> 01:56:31.650
It's that lover's obsession, compulsion and perfectionism.

01:56:31.970 --> 01:56:32.210
Right.

01:56:32.590 --> 01:56:33.450
Yeah, you got it.

01:56:33.810 --> 01:56:35.110
There is, there is a trap in that.

01:56:35.370 --> 01:56:35.630
Yeah.

01:56:35.650 --> 01:56:36.950
Thanks for mentioning that too.

01:56:37.310 --> 01:56:37.430
Yeah.

01:56:37.850 --> 01:56:38.010
Yeah.

01:56:38.150 --> 01:56:39.210
That's a good point to bring up.

01:56:39.430 --> 01:56:43.390
And, and in this case, it's, to me, it's not about balance again.

01:56:43.690 --> 01:56:45.250
Like, oh, well, a certain amount of time for myself.

01:56:45.510 --> 01:56:47.330
Because life is not balanced.

01:56:47.990 --> 01:56:48.290
Right.

01:56:48.390 --> 01:56:50.430
Life, life comes at least for me anyway.

01:56:51.010 --> 01:56:53.810
It comes when you have a big valley, hills, valleys.

01:56:53.810 --> 01:56:58.950
You got exactly huge amounts of activity that mean, yeah, you know what?

01:56:59.130 --> 01:57:01.870
For the last three weeks, I've been working every night.

01:57:02.470 --> 01:57:07.830
But for the year before that, I was almost entirely focused on my health

01:57:07.830 --> 01:57:08.590
because I had to.

01:57:08.870 --> 01:57:09.730
Well, right.

01:57:10.190 --> 01:57:12.530
Because I had accidents, I had to, I had to mend them.

01:57:12.710 --> 01:57:17.110
I had to, you know, my basic needs became my work for a time.

01:57:17.770 --> 01:57:19.670
Word that comes up for me is cycles.

01:57:20.310 --> 01:57:20.590
Yes.

01:57:21.330 --> 01:57:21.830
Cycles.

01:57:22.150 --> 01:57:22.290
Yeah.

01:57:22.770 --> 01:57:23.290
Of things.

01:57:23.810 --> 01:57:24.050
Yeah.

01:57:24.470 --> 01:57:24.910
Exactly.

01:57:25.210 --> 01:57:25.990
Cycles and seasons.

01:57:26.750 --> 01:57:30.550
It's like, this is, for me, this is a season to work and create.

01:57:31.490 --> 01:57:31.770
Right.

01:57:32.070 --> 01:57:37.530
And well, then that could go back to like moon theories and just following full moon, new moon,

01:57:37.770 --> 01:57:41.750
all those kinds of things, waning, waxing, gibbous, like all those states of,

01:57:41.890 --> 01:57:44.130
you know, don't make any big moves right now.

01:57:44.230 --> 01:57:45.550
This is a time for introspection.

01:57:45.870 --> 01:57:46.790
This is a time for release.

01:57:46.990 --> 01:57:48.390
This is a time to plant new seeds.

01:57:48.990 --> 01:57:50.270
We have seasons for that.

01:57:50.410 --> 01:57:51.570
We have moon cycles for that.

01:57:51.570 --> 01:57:53.630
We have solstices for that.

01:57:53.990 --> 01:57:57.810
Like there's so many cycles out there, always, always, always running.

01:57:58.430 --> 01:57:58.870
Exactly.

01:57:59.230 --> 01:58:01.430
Spoken like a true, uh, nature child.

01:58:01.650 --> 01:58:01.790
Yeah.

01:58:03.350 --> 01:58:03.790
Yeah.

01:58:05.530 --> 01:58:05.970
Yeah.

01:58:06.210 --> 01:58:06.310
Yeah.

01:58:06.650 --> 01:58:06.750
Exactly.

01:58:06.950 --> 01:58:09.530
That tunes and it capitalizes on that in a really good way.

01:58:09.710 --> 01:58:10.070
Yes.

01:58:10.290 --> 01:58:12.430
It, uh, it's like, oh, there's certain energies.

01:58:12.630 --> 01:58:13.790
But they're not going to become obsessed.

01:58:14.070 --> 01:58:16.550
Like, you know, for me, like, it's like, yeah.

01:58:16.810 --> 01:58:20.930
So I'll maybe catch a new moon and, and plant some seeds.

01:58:21.570 --> 01:58:22.610
For, for my life.

01:58:23.070 --> 01:58:25.490
But if I don't do it every time, it's okay.

01:58:26.130 --> 01:58:28.810
You know, and then when I feel like I need to release,

01:58:29.270 --> 01:58:30.250
I'll, I'll check it.

01:58:30.310 --> 01:58:31.010
Oh, guess what?

01:58:31.110 --> 01:58:32.330
There's a full moon coming up.

01:58:32.790 --> 01:58:36.990
You know, so listening to your body too, sometimes about, you know, I,

01:58:38.170 --> 01:58:43.570
there's, I don't have to feel like I have to like catch every single one and be every,

01:58:43.650 --> 01:58:45.270
like adamant at it.

01:58:45.470 --> 01:58:50.210
It's like the cycle of it when sometimes I don't feel like I have to release anything.

01:58:51.070 --> 01:58:51.470
Yeah.

01:58:51.710 --> 01:58:52.090
Exactly.

01:58:52.810 --> 01:58:53.090
Yeah.

01:58:53.190 --> 01:58:54.790
We, we have the ultimate free will.

01:58:54.910 --> 01:58:58.790
Things are not as simple as they, as we want them to be.

01:58:59.150 --> 01:58:59.550
Right.

01:58:59.670 --> 01:59:01.050
It's, it's nice to look at the moon.

01:59:01.250 --> 01:59:02.910
I, I totally agree with that.

01:59:02.990 --> 01:59:07.650
It was, I was, I was musing how I used to even choose dates based on moons.

01:59:07.810 --> 01:59:08.130
Okay.

01:59:08.310 --> 01:59:11.250
Knowing that certain times of the month are going to be easier for people.

01:59:11.470 --> 01:59:13.230
Certain times of the month are going to be harder for them.

01:59:13.670 --> 01:59:17.330
When would be a good time for me to come in with a message of any kind that,

01:59:17.370 --> 01:59:18.430
that it would be receptive.

01:59:19.090 --> 01:59:24.550
Now I'm more the other way around where I go, I go surely from my intuition and then I look

01:59:24.550 --> 01:59:25.650
backward and I see.

01:59:26.490 --> 01:59:26.670
Yes.

01:59:26.830 --> 01:59:31.450
And then you're like, Oh, that's why my intuition told me to host here at this time.

01:59:31.630 --> 01:59:34.750
Now, when I look at what's going on energetically with planets and things,

01:59:34.830 --> 01:59:36.230
Oh, that kind of made sense now.

01:59:36.350 --> 01:59:36.650
I know.

01:59:36.830 --> 01:59:37.010
I know.

01:59:37.290 --> 01:59:42.610
It was shocking because it was actually October when I had the dream of creator code.

01:59:43.010 --> 01:59:47.790
But then when we get to the late December and early January astrology,

01:59:47.790 --> 01:59:51.430
it's all bang on like crazy.

01:59:51.490 --> 01:59:53.770
I couldn't even have scripted it that way.

01:59:54.070 --> 01:59:58.630
So and I don't have the skills to look ahead and read and interpret the,

01:59:58.770 --> 02:00:00.510
Well, maybe, maybe we do.

02:00:00.770 --> 02:00:03.550
But internally energetically, that's great.

02:00:03.830 --> 02:00:04.390
That's right.

02:00:05.130 --> 02:00:07.390
And when you are, when you are clear, when you,

02:00:07.570 --> 02:00:10.550
when you, this here is going back to attachment aversions,

02:00:10.710 --> 02:00:13.130
when you release attachment and aversions,

02:00:13.130 --> 02:00:21.430
you have a clear knowing of like what feels right or not feels right.

02:00:21.490 --> 02:00:22.630
It's the wrong word because feelings are

02:00:23.730 --> 02:00:25.050
be free with your words.

02:00:25.050 --> 02:00:25.410
Okay.

02:00:25.410 --> 02:00:26.310
It's exactly it.

02:00:26.490 --> 02:00:30.510
It's exactly it that, that you see it's, it's in alignment.

02:00:30.730 --> 02:00:31.490
Let's use your word.

02:00:32.090 --> 02:00:32.570
Alignment, alignment there.

02:00:32.890 --> 02:00:35.050
I know that that's, that's a better representation.

02:00:35.390 --> 02:00:39.490
I think is a feel, it feels aligned to have it then.

02:00:39.810 --> 02:00:40.130
Yeah.

02:00:40.510 --> 02:00:40.690
Yeah.

02:00:40.710 --> 02:00:40.930
Yeah.

02:00:40.990 --> 02:00:41.390
Exactly.

02:00:41.390 --> 02:00:46.410
And then you can avoid the pitfalls by deprogramming the perfectionism,

02:00:46.670 --> 02:00:51.590
the obsession with perfection, the compulsion to like,

02:00:51.670 --> 02:00:54.870
Oh, it's got to be on this stage and right, you know, that kind of thing.

02:00:55.930 --> 02:01:03.670
There's a lot of freedom in, in releasing that and then seeing how things seem to align

02:01:03.670 --> 02:01:09.090
themselves like all kinds of really beautiful puzzle pieces come into play that I didn't put

02:01:09.090 --> 02:01:09.390
there.

02:01:10.130 --> 02:01:10.230
Yeah.

02:01:10.730 --> 02:01:11.750
And you're just looking back.

02:01:11.750 --> 02:01:17.470
Sometimes the universe needs time to orchestrate all of the stuff that's floating around in your

02:01:17.470 --> 02:01:17.850
vortex.

02:01:18.730 --> 02:01:23.290
You know, if you're not aligned with it, it's going to float around you until you are.

02:01:23.610 --> 02:01:23.790
Yeah.

02:01:24.470 --> 02:01:29.550
And, you know, when, when you come internally aligned, those pieces come to meet you where

02:01:29.550 --> 02:01:33.210
you are and everything falls into place.

02:01:33.630 --> 02:01:34.150
Exactly.

02:01:34.590 --> 02:01:34.790
Yeah.

02:01:34.910 --> 02:01:37.810
And maybe it wasn't perfect and maybe it wasn't on the exact

02:01:38.330 --> 02:01:39.490
day or anything.

02:01:40.070 --> 02:01:40.970
It was what it needed to be.

02:01:41.850 --> 02:01:42.110
Yeah.

02:01:42.470 --> 02:01:42.910
Yeah.

02:01:42.910 --> 02:01:43.190
Yeah.

02:01:43.190 --> 02:01:43.390
Exactly.

02:01:43.970 --> 02:01:44.130
Yeah.

02:01:44.690 --> 02:01:46.230
What a beautiful conversation, Melanie.

02:01:46.550 --> 02:01:46.950
Thank you.

02:01:47.050 --> 02:01:47.690
We should do it again.

02:01:47.890 --> 02:01:48.070
Yeah.

02:01:48.730 --> 02:01:49.410
It was good.

02:01:49.950 --> 02:01:51.190
It'd be nice to have her back on.

02:01:51.310 --> 02:01:51.410
Hey.

02:01:52.230 --> 02:01:52.670
Yeah.

02:01:53.390 --> 02:01:55.490
Well, thank you everyone for joining us today.

02:01:55.590 --> 02:01:58.670
And look, we managed to talk the whole entire time.

02:01:58.990 --> 02:01:59.390
Moon watching.

02:01:59.590 --> 02:02:00.890
We'll just finish with some comments.

02:02:00.890 --> 02:02:01.610
Isn't the moon in the Mamanote?

02:02:02.290 --> 02:02:04.590
It's on the station to control you, Melanie.

02:02:05.610 --> 02:02:06.730
Don't trust the moon.

02:02:06.730 --> 02:02:07.670
Moon watching.

02:02:08.030 --> 02:02:11.030
It is comforting to know your place in the rhythm of life.

02:02:11.030 --> 02:02:11.670
Very nice.

02:02:12.470 --> 02:02:13.070
Thank you.

02:02:13.250 --> 02:02:14.350
And the cosmic wink.

02:02:15.510 --> 02:02:17.290
Full moon makes people lunatics.

02:02:17.510 --> 02:02:18.190
It really does.

02:02:19.830 --> 02:02:23.230
Your dad told you about chopping down trees according to the moon cycle.

02:02:23.410 --> 02:02:23.570
Yeah.

02:02:23.770 --> 02:02:25.330
And, and all the planting and everything.

02:02:25.690 --> 02:02:26.990
Don't trust the moon, Kyrie.

02:02:27.150 --> 02:02:28.930
Is the moon in a lobby?

02:02:29.090 --> 02:02:32.370
Well, to see this as part of the, the sigh up that we would even question

02:02:32.890 --> 02:02:34.850
the light in the sky, which I do.

02:02:35.330 --> 02:02:36.130
I do.

02:02:36.310 --> 02:02:36.510
I do.

02:02:36.510 --> 02:02:39.570
Hey, why did it, why, like, why would we not question things?

02:02:39.710 --> 02:02:40.230
I know, I know.

02:02:40.470 --> 02:02:42.110
I saw, I saw a picture of the moon recently.

02:02:42.390 --> 02:02:44.550
And every time I look at the moon, I'm like,

02:02:44.650 --> 02:02:47.790
why is there a weird fake border on the moon?

02:02:47.890 --> 02:02:49.910
I never remember seeing the weird fake border.

02:02:50.270 --> 02:02:51.470
Is it my eyes?

02:02:51.710 --> 02:02:54.070
So I, I just conclude, oh, it's my eyes.

02:02:54.350 --> 02:02:56.190
Well, I saw a picture of the moon.

02:02:56.390 --> 02:02:57.870
There's that weird fake border.

02:02:58.190 --> 02:02:59.030
What the heck is that?

02:02:59.250 --> 02:02:59.450
Right?

02:02:59.650 --> 02:03:01.790
Like, so there's, there's something.

02:03:03.190 --> 02:03:03.830
There's something.

02:03:04.190 --> 02:03:05.210
We can't know everything.

02:03:05.210 --> 02:03:07.450
I know, I know we strive to try, but.

02:03:08.070 --> 02:03:08.910
Yeah, yeah.

02:03:09.030 --> 02:03:09.370
Exactly.

02:03:09.790 --> 02:03:15.450
I think, you know, when that's also goes back to like forcing answers to come in,

02:03:15.590 --> 02:03:17.890
you know, we will find out when we find out.

02:03:18.430 --> 02:03:18.910
Yeah.

02:03:19.210 --> 02:03:24.850
You know, I think letting go of that hunger for knowing everything sometimes is another,

02:03:25.470 --> 02:03:27.230
could be another trap as well.

02:03:27.330 --> 02:03:29.450
Sometimes let, let things be, but.

02:03:30.050 --> 02:03:30.250
Yeah.

02:03:30.410 --> 02:03:32.530
And it's what you said is exactly right.

02:03:32.530 --> 02:03:38.110
The less you grind on trying to figure it out, we know very well.

02:03:38.530 --> 02:03:45.990
The more insights and revelations that you have that were beyond your, your thought process,

02:03:46.270 --> 02:03:47.670
they had to come in.

02:03:48.030 --> 02:03:49.450
Yes, they're beyond your thought process.

02:03:49.530 --> 02:03:51.270
That's a really good way of putting it that,

02:03:53.550 --> 02:03:58.350
you know, you can try to think yourself out and find solutions out of everything, but

02:03:59.170 --> 02:04:04.170
to be, to create a new pathway, opening up new parts of the brain that we haven't used before,

02:04:04.270 --> 02:04:05.510
that we didn't even know existed.

02:04:06.990 --> 02:04:07.590
That's it.

02:04:08.050 --> 02:04:14.890
You know, it's really rewiring a lot of the neurological stuff in the, in the trauma

02:04:14.890 --> 02:04:19.050
things that I do is movement that can help the body rewire.

02:04:19.370 --> 02:04:23.510
You'll see there's a lot of neurology specialists where, you know, they're,

02:04:23.510 --> 02:04:27.690
they're doing kind of goes back to the EMDR stuff, where you move your eyes

02:04:27.690 --> 02:04:31.090
in a different way or your shoulder moves different because you're not,

02:04:31.350 --> 02:04:37.450
you're trying to allow the body to move in its own free will because we put our own

02:04:37.450 --> 02:04:40.190
limitations on movement based on pain.

02:04:40.570 --> 02:04:46.630
So when you can create new stories, you can create new range of motion in the body.

02:04:47.110 --> 02:04:51.330
Just by moving the body different, moving the eyes in a different direction,

02:04:52.130 --> 02:04:53.310
things like that.

02:04:53.310 --> 02:04:56.590
And you can increase range of motion.

02:04:56.770 --> 02:05:01.650
Like I've seen it, people's faces, their draws drop in class when I'm doing things with people.

02:05:02.070 --> 02:05:03.790
There's all kinds of resources too on Instagram.

02:05:04.250 --> 02:05:05.730
If you know, you guys won't have a look at it.

02:05:06.970 --> 02:05:11.470
It's, it's no secret out there, but people have profound results.

02:05:11.470 --> 02:05:15.650
They'll tell me, you know, I've been in a car crash for 15 years and my shoulder

02:05:15.650 --> 02:05:20.590
can't move, you know, and they'll show up five or six weeks and have almost full

02:05:20.590 --> 02:05:22.070
range of motion back in their shoulder.

02:05:22.330 --> 02:05:22.650
Wow.

02:05:22.650 --> 02:05:24.890
Because they rewired the story.

02:05:25.230 --> 02:05:25.790
Nice.

02:05:26.090 --> 02:05:26.290
Amazing.

02:05:26.510 --> 02:05:30.030
You know, and released whatever was there through somatic movement.

02:05:30.370 --> 02:05:30.930
Nice.

02:05:31.230 --> 02:05:31.430
Nice.

02:05:32.050 --> 02:05:34.750
Do you want to tell our folks one more time how to reach you?

02:05:34.910 --> 02:05:36.550
What's the best way to get ahold of you?

02:05:37.630 --> 02:05:44.710
You can email me at yogacoachmel at gmail.com.

02:05:45.670 --> 02:05:47.770
I don't have a website set up.

02:05:49.690 --> 02:05:52.630
I don't know what my resistance to that is, but there is one.

02:05:55.170 --> 02:05:58.570
I didn't make this clickable just in case the bot scrapped it, but

02:06:00.010 --> 02:06:03.350
yogacoachmel at gmail.com if you want to take a note there.

02:06:03.390 --> 02:06:06.130
If you want to personally email me or if you have any questions for me.

02:06:08.470 --> 02:06:12.890
And then on Facebook, of course, I don't put too much stuff on there, but,

02:06:13.070 --> 02:06:14.690
you know, you can always message me there.

02:06:14.690 --> 02:06:17.090
And if you're interested in more of my music,

02:06:17.110 --> 02:06:19.750
which I hope can be an inspiration to others,

02:06:19.790 --> 02:06:24.790
you can find Honey Days right now on YouTube.

02:06:25.190 --> 02:06:31.070
It's spelled D-A-I-S-E because Honey Daisy was taken.

02:06:33.570 --> 02:06:37.150
So I had to be different and a little harder to find, you know?

02:06:37.410 --> 02:06:37.810
There you go.

02:06:38.090 --> 02:06:38.270
Yeah.

02:06:38.470 --> 02:06:42.610
Or I mean, you can always contact Beth sometime in the free will.

02:06:43.970 --> 02:06:44.330
Yeah.

02:06:44.790 --> 02:06:45.570
The house of free will.

02:06:45.930 --> 02:06:46.010
Yeah.

02:06:46.170 --> 02:06:46.430
Yes.

02:06:46.510 --> 02:06:46.610
Yeah.

02:06:46.850 --> 02:06:48.010
You're there on the chat.

02:06:48.210 --> 02:06:49.030
And then in and out sometimes.

02:06:50.030 --> 02:06:50.670
Righto, righto.

02:06:50.830 --> 02:06:51.930
Well, thank you everyone for coming.

02:06:52.090 --> 02:06:52.950
It's been a pleasure.

02:06:53.150 --> 02:06:54.450
Thank you, Melanie, for joining me.

02:06:54.950 --> 02:06:55.630
How much fun was that?

02:06:55.810 --> 02:06:57.610
It was a lot of fun to talk about stuff.

02:06:57.850 --> 02:06:58.070
Right on.

02:06:58.410 --> 02:06:59.030
Really nice.

02:06:59.350 --> 02:06:59.510
Yeah.

02:06:59.670 --> 02:06:59.870
Yeah.

02:06:59.910 --> 02:07:00.530
I really enjoyed it.

02:07:00.810 --> 02:07:01.570
Thank you for having me.

02:07:01.810 --> 02:07:02.330
You're very welcome.

02:07:02.590 --> 02:07:02.610
Yeah.

02:07:03.170 --> 02:07:03.870
All right, everyone.

02:07:04.090 --> 02:07:07.110
I'm going to play us out as usual.

02:07:07.430 --> 02:07:08.590
And I have to set that up.

02:07:08.710 --> 02:07:09.310
Give me a second.

02:07:09.310 --> 02:07:12.250
And no, yep, that was it.

02:07:13.910 --> 02:07:16.730
The buttons just press themselves after a while.

02:07:17.990 --> 02:07:19.690
Anything else I want to tell you guys?

02:07:19.870 --> 02:07:20.850
No, I think we're good to go.

02:07:22.850 --> 02:07:23.330
Nice.

02:07:24.150 --> 02:07:25.070
Yeah, okay.

02:07:31.060 --> 02:07:32.180
I'm not used to my angle here.

02:07:33.300 --> 02:07:33.780
There.

02:07:34.100 --> 02:07:35.320
I'm going to swing over this way more.

02:07:35.680 --> 02:07:37.960
Yeah, it's amazing how little angle can change everything.

02:07:38.200 --> 02:07:40.260
Oh, hey, it is amazing.

02:07:40.880 --> 02:07:42.020
That is the key.

02:07:42.280 --> 02:07:43.440
A little different angle.

02:07:43.680 --> 02:07:44.100
Yeah.

02:07:44.100 --> 02:07:44.900
Exactly.

02:07:44.900 --> 02:07:47.540
Different look at something makes all the difference.

02:07:48.040 --> 02:07:49.340
Thanks, everyone, for coming.

02:07:49.760 --> 02:07:50.240
Lots of love.

02:07:51.000 --> 02:07:51.480
Bye for now.

02:07:51.840 --> 02:07:52.320
Thank you.

02:07:53.420 --> 02:07:53.940
Good call.

02:07:54.840 --> 02:07:55.360
Nice.