and welcome to the Beth of Fresh Air.
And I want to introduce you to my very, very good friend,
Melanie.
Aw.
She has a last name too.
So good to be here.
Yeah, yeah, super nice.
Yeah, your word of the year is Align.
Align.
Is that the fun correct?
You're talking about this and yeah, about that?
Yes.
And here we are aligning.
We are aligning.
I've just really done a lot of meditating
about the energy and what is kind of forecasting
for my trajectory moving forward this year.
And it wasn't about being really busy
and trying to exert extra force,
but to align from the inside
so that things can come to me
in the timing that I'm ready for them
instead of trying to manipulate them to come in sooner.
Nice.
Yeah, it's a really big theme.
Welcome to the Beth of Fresh Air.
If you're here, come and say hello in the chat.
We always love to have your comments
and let us know if you can hear us okay.
That would be awesome just because we're dealing
with a little bit of a primitive system here.
I'm not super set up,
but I couldn't resist the opportunity
since you were here in person.
So yeah, let me know if you can hear us good.
We're gonna be talking about my favorite subject
and I think Melanie,
it's become one of yours too, deprogramming.
And as you noticed,
I always put a verb in the title of my streams
and they, so it's always giving you some indication
to in this case, deprogramming.
Hello, Mrs. Occidental Alchemist, nice to see you.
Good to be here live, glad you are around
and the sound is great, excellent.
Good to know Rebecca, thank you.
Loud and clear Jackie, great to have you here.
And that's awesome.
Yeah, so we're gonna get down to it.
It's funny, we had some time together before
we shared a lunch and how do you like my hair, Melanie, did it?
I got a nice haircut and a little,
I don't get curls very often, so I'm pretty happy.
She has her nice curls as well.
So it's more alignment,
there's a lot of alignment going on right here.
Alignment, this was, yeah.
I was originally supposed to come and see Beth
on Tuesday, we had made plans.
And then the universe kind of crumbled them out
just to come and do a haircut.
And then when I told her my other option was Friday,
she was like, hey, since you're here,
would you like to come on this podcast?
So this is the alignment, I think that,
I feel like I am where I need to be at this moment.
And this is really a really wonderful opportunity
to talk about the work I've been doing
that I have taken in some of the courses
and things that you were offered
and the value and some suffering, of course.
But the value that it brings on the other end
and keeping the suffering, I think,
to a minimal is key and learning those tools.
So I'm here to share some of that about my journey.
That's beautiful.
Yeah, yeah, before we get into it,
just to follow up on what you said,
that I'm a big fan of taking the unnecessary suffering
out of the deal.
Because it looks like suffering is part and parcel
of our world here.
There are certain things you just, you can't bypass.
There is loss, there is illness, there's death.
And so we have to accommodate for that
rather than thinking, oh, someday
I'm never gonna have any suffering.
But the degree to which that we would elongate that
and make it static and still and stop it from moving
and stick it somewhere in our bodies,
which I think we're both extremely familiar
with having done to a degree.
Do you wanna start, Melanie,
by telling us where you were at when we met?
Sure, yes.
I had went through cancer treatment for breast cancer
and I felt that there was something deeper to this journey.
It seemed like the medical team I had in intact
wasn't able to hear what I had to say about different things
and I challenged them.
And I knew that I was going against my internal healing
capacities or it felt like that,
that I was allowing somebody else to access to my body
to heal it.
And part of me kind of felt that I knew that,
but at that time being in the emotion of fear
it clouds the judgment.
I feel like had I known the deprogramming tools
or the emotional release technique
or how to spiral the emotion
or dissolve the programming around that,
I could have made clearer decisions.
So I found that it felt like for me
that I had betraying my own systems in that sense
and giving that power away,
which was very in the shadow of the victim.
So when I met Beth, she was on stage at IAM in Toulon
and she said some words about cancer
and I was sketching at the time,
I'm looking for answers out there and she said something
and it was like a beacon went off
and I was like, oh my gosh, there's someone here
that might have some insight
or that she knows what the journey has been
all about going through that herself.
And she was a presenter,
I didn't see her particular talk,
but she was playing some music
and it's like something took me over,
took over me and I walked right up to her
and I looked at her and I started talking
and all I remember is myself balling
because I felt like this human can actually see
and resonate with thoughts and feelings
that I may have had.
And she was the only one up to that point.
So then I jumped onto journey code,
still being traumatized from medical intervention,
dysregulated nervous system, still in survival mode.
I pushed through the course
as it triggered a lot of things come up for me.
A lot of things I didn't really take in on that first year.
I dropped out of the program for a while
and just kind of tried to get my life back in order,
but I did find myself falling back
into some of the shadows of the archetypes
and I realized that I was going downward
and not upward again.
So I rejoined as an apprentice
because I think that when you learn how to teach
something, you also absorb the information
or the teachings at a whole another level.
So I became an apprentice for two years.
And now where I'm using all of these things
that I learned is in mostly in group settings,
but some in individual settings
where I've also studied somatics a lot.
So I'm helping people to heal their nervous systems.
And what I've learned about the programs,
things that we installed to try to keep ourselves safe
when we are feeling unsafe or unloved or not in control.
And we cannot heal those things
when we are in survival mode.
So I do group somatic therapies with people
to help them learn how to remember what it's like
to not be in survival mode.
Because when you are in rest and digest,
that's when healing can take place.
And then they can release and let go.
They are more comfortable being inside of their bodies
or actually even just teaching them
how to reintegrate a relationship with their internal
and what those things are saying.
And the tools that you brought forward,
the spiral of emotion, teaching people
what those uncomfortable feelings are
so that they don't suppress and try to keep them hidden.
And this year could be the year that maybe
you start to be friends some of those messengers
because those are the golden nuggets
that you, those are your words.
They are what will set you free.
What I've learned is the nervous system
is attached to all of it.
So when you learn how to regulate your nervous system,
it will give you ample opportunity to heal
some of the programming that you have adopted.
Yeah, it's so beautiful how the nervous system
and the deprogramming work work together.
And it's like you can come from either angle.
I've been writing a creator code module
for the whole somatic world of breath
and the nervous system and the biggest nervous system
and everything like that.
And so you can come at it.
What I've noticed and defaulted to a fair amount in,
well, I've started out in India
with all of the pranayam, the breath work,
the hacking of the system.
Oh, my nervous system is jacked up.
Therefore I'll use this tool and technique
to bring my nervous system down.
Oh, I'm lethargic and feeling apathetic.
I'm gonna use this other hack breath system
to energize me and give me some juice.
We all know it.
Some people use caffeine.
I would if I could.
It's poisonous for my system and everyone's.
But so it's really beautiful
because you can use a hack to a certain degree,
but what do I notice about the hacks
is that they'll work for a time
and then they stop working and you have to keep hacking.
I have something to discuss on that.
Something that I noticed was when you go into,
I started doing my own breath control
even when I was inhaling to account and holding
and then letting the longer exhale go.
I had a sensation come up in my brain.
So I knew that there was something
that I was trying to do there
and what it was was instilling wanting control.
So what happened?
Just for those of you who don't speak our language yet,
that is one of the primary root programs
that everybody deals with.
It's not, I just have to give a commercial for this
for a second because the whole spiritual world
is gonna tell you don't, you're not in control,
surrender your control, let go of control.
And to me, this is absolutely useless advice.
It's not possible and it's not even desirable.
Well, I think the key word is that
is to let go of the wanting of it.
That's it, that's it.
Because it impairs that you are lacking
because we actually do have control
over a lot of our lives.
I mean, some of those things you talked about earlier
that you don't have control of, right?
But you do have control of quite a bit.
So I noticed when I was trying to manipulate my breath
right away, there was trying, there was a something
that was, what do you call that?
Sorry, mechanism that was trying to want for control.
So I just actually sat for a while
and released the wanting of control.
Then I was able to use the breath as a better tool
to regulate the nervous system.
Beautiful.
But I could see how that program was coming in
when immediately I started to try to control the breath.
Exactly, exactly.
Because we'll use the good things of say, like good food
and good techniques and the breath and everything.
But when you use it as a mechanism, unknowingly,
it's actually a kind of weapon that is designed,
in this case, that program is designed to,
if we put it in really dramatic terms, it's a killer.
It says like, oh, low energy.
Hold still and knock your head off.
With some hack, I'm gonna get rid of you.
I'm gonna change you.
I'm gonna put an end to this.
And so when you have that disposition towards yourself
of being a killer or even a lower grade changer
of who you are, it's the same way I just thought of,
when you get a boyfriend and you think,
oh, they could be a really good person, but they're not.
So I can change them.
And then what does that boyfriend usually end up
feeling about you when you do that?
Resentful, probably.
Exactly, they hate you for that.
Because it is a kind of violence.
Yeah, because you're violating their own free will
to make their own decisions to change.
Exactly.
Well, and I find a lot of people too.
I was a bit hesitant to use the words deprogramming
because it felt a bit like, I don't know, odd or culty.
But I realize now after doing the work,
what does that mean for me?
And I think what it was on my journey was,
as moving forward after going through cancer treatment
and who am I?
And I didn't know the answer to that question
because I had so many roles put on personas or ego titles.
And to start dismantling a lot of that is a scary thing.
To realize that, I had attachments to those things.
So releasing the attachments to them kind of freed up,
who am I as an expressive being on this planet?
What do I have to share?
How do I want to express myself?
And if you don't know who you are
because there's so much protective programming in place,
how do you even have a path?
How do you even know where you're going?
How do you know the direction?
How do you have any clarity?
Exactly.
So to me, that's what the deprogramming did
was take everything away that I was not.
All the things that I had adopted in survival mode.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
That's from the get go when we come to life.
We're invited to take on certain identities.
The first thing is going to be your name
and then your gender.
And then, oh, she likes trucks
or she likes dolls or another overlay of identity.
And then very soon, oh, what direction
are you going to study in and train yourself in
and pigeonhole yourself into, oh, now I am a massage therapist
or I am an engineer or I am all of these things.
And you reach at some point in your life
an identity crisis when you realize, wow, I've taken on
and now I'm a wife or I'm a mother, I'm a teacher,
I'm a this, I'm a that.
But internally, we know ourself not to be that.
Like, we know the truth of it,
even though that mental overlay is there.
So there's a lack of alignment in it.
When, you know, almost everybody,
I remember this in my professional business days,
I read a statistic that 80% of professionals
feel like a fraud in their possession.
In their profession, profession.
Possession is different.
We'll cover that another.
Well, I do you think that could be
because they're not living their true path,
that they're not really being who they really are.
In some sense, they're doing a more of a,
not a personic role or this is what I have to be to fit in.
Yeah, this is what I have to be to make money.
This is what I have to be to have status quo in the world.
Instead of, yeah.
Yeah, instead of doing what you want to do,
what you're passionate about, what you're,
it's kind of like settling a little bit.
Like you settle for that instead of like reaching
your true potential, perhaps.
Exactly, because if you can trade in proving,
getting their love and approval of your family,
I'm going to say this backwards,
but the unconscious mind won't trade in the love
and approval of family for following your own heart and soul.
That's a different stage of life.
In fact, that's halfway through the hero's journey,
the way that I've laid it out,
where you stop asking anybody's permission,
am I okay, am I okay, am I okay?
Seeking validation outside of yourself.
Right, right.
And instead you turn to the divine
for any reflection or need for validation
or sense of like, is this mind to be done?
But the point of identity is even deeper than that,
because when you get on the path of your own passion
and like you do, you get to do what you want.
Right, you make your days, you make your schedule,
you agree to certain things
and it's not like a work a day life,
which I'm not putting anybody down for doing that,
whatever they feel they have to do.
And you get through certain stages.
I actually have now created a document
on the levels of sacred purpose
and how one of the levels is,
I want to do whatever I want
and not have to ask anybody's permission,
but all that does, getting there,
all that does is present new levels.
And so it goes deeper and deeper and deeper
and even though I love teaching,
I love, love, love, I get so much energy from that.
I love coaching, I love the intimate relationship
of that both of those engender.
I love my groups, I love serving the people
who want what I have.
Like I genuinely love that, but it's not actually who I am.
And so that's where your life,
I went through experiences this summer
that you know about that really challenged my identity.
And I thought there was a few minutes
when I thought my work was over,
I thought my independence was over,
I didn't, I thought like, why would I even keep living?
I wasn't exactly suicidal,
but I thought, well, at least I could check out of here.
And really it's because so many levels
of my own persona were dying.
That's, and we talked about this earlier
before we came up is that, you know,
there's a theory in the somatic education world
that the brain doesn't know the difference,
whether you're physically dying
or if you're part of your egoic self
that put you, that you accumulated in survival mode
is dying off.
And it was the year of the snake last year
shedding the skin, right?
So when you are going to elevate yourself in the world,
there is a part of you that has to die off,
the part that is no longer serving you
so that you are able to move forward
in that next growth stage.
Yeah, yeah, you have to die all the time.
Yes, yes.
Become an expert diet.
Yes, yes, yes.
Face the illusion of death within your own mind,
you know, it's funny because out in the world,
you know, people that maybe are into risky more,
risky behavior, I think they face the same thing,
but they're more outwardly doing.
So I see how people navigate sometimes in the world
and outwardly do the things that can also be done internally
and put themself at less risk.
And preserve the absolute preciousness
of the incarnation opportunity that we have here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true.
And I think they'll do scary things on the outside
to avoid the scary things on the inside.
Yeah, I wonder if it internally changes
I think it might,
I think there might be growth opportunity from that,
from the action part, which would be,
would you say like the masculine part
of our energy system would be the doing part
where the feminine is more to align and receive.
Yeah, so.
Yeah, exactly.
And just learning how to work with both of those energies.
Right, right, exactly.
Yeah, they're both there, they don't go away.
Yeah, so I think we can have external doing activities
that can internally change us
and we can also do internal.
So I'm just learning how to kind of navigate those two together.
Yeah, and you're exactly right.
It's, you know, the women tend towards this work more easily.
So I just filled my first creator code course.
Yay, I'm so excited.
And God bless them.
There's only one man.
Oh, how nice.
Yeah, yeah.
It's always good to have that reflection.
Yes, it's good to have some.
Yeah, I don't want to pressure him
if you're watching this and it's like really great to have you.
And, but it's, it just is a reflection
that that's easier for women, right?
To spend 12 weeks.
I think it's more natural for women to do the internal
and to receive.
I think it's just, you know,
we have that strong masculinity
and this is referring to males as well,
not like in the physical form,
but we have that like our masculine structure,
the muscles, you know,
I consider them to be very masculine energy,
but then we have the somatic,
which we talked about earlier
and that's the fascia system.
And the fascia system communicates with the muscles
and it covers like a sheath on the muscle.
And when you can release that fascia, you know,
then you can build the strong muscles.
And sometimes we go and build the strong muscles first
and try to fight through the fascia
that has not been lubricated or let go of.
And the fascia holds on to a lot of memories,
memories of trauma, even thought trauma, you know,
when you have, your mind takes in things
and you develop a thought, right?
And then it senses off a message to the body
through the vagus nerve.
And often somewhere in the body,
there'll be a reaction to it.
You may shudder or you contract.
And if you're continuously going
through that same life story,
it will reinforce that behavior
until you go in to those parts
where you are feeling pain
or you're noticing that, you know,
oh, one shoulder leans in or I got a sore hip.
If you can go in there and finish the process,
a lot of times what happens is it gets stuck.
So we experience something that perhaps is scary
and we don't finish the loop.
And the loop kind of gets trapped in a behavior pattern.
And if we can go in there
and check out the emotional content of it,
what the root programs are like wanting safety
or wanting love and approval, wanting control,
wanting oneness and kind of let those wants go
because they are what's hanging on to the nervous system
like meat hooks, you would use that term.
And then, you know, when you release that feeling,
there's just some, there's a lightness
and like a sense of relief where you're like,
oh, I don't have to hold on to that anymore.
Like what a relief that was.
Sometimes there's a core wound underneath, you know,
that you may have installed yourself
that you perhaps weren't good enough or you couldn't win
and you're always going through these same things.
So if you installed it,
that means you also have the power to let it go.
Yeah, that's such a key point.
You have that authority to make that decision
to do I now want to carry this wound with me
and perhaps sink into a bit of a victim hood
or do like coming out of the victim archetype power,
can you empower?
Well, if you, you know, have the power to do that
and put that mechanism in place,
you have that authority to lovingly, you know,
thank it for being there and say, I've got this now,
I can let you go with love
and not coming from a place I hate.
And so learning compassion and empathy for your protection
that you installed.
Exactly.
Yeah, and we talk about it in the truth and freedom world.
It's like, oh, you know, that bad guy is programming me
and you'll probably still hear me say it
in those kind of same charts.
It is out there, right?
For us to see and hear constantly.
Right, right.
They're literally telling you
to put a poison injection in your arm, right?
Like that sounds like programming, safe and effective.
There's some, you know,
but these are more the makings of programming
and that's where I get more into the fine points of,
okay, so they're telling us this
and they're scaring us with this
and they're, you know, telling everybody
that there's a climate's changing
and we're going to have some disasters
and it's all your fault, by the way,
what you, oh, you bought the saran wrap.
Oh, no, do that.
And so, you know, you end up playing both sides of it.
On the one hand, say for more people like us,
we might rebel against that and fight and get angry
and like say, you're lying like this
and then there's going to be the people
who just succumb to it and like, ooh, I'm frightened.
So I'll do whatever you say,
but it doesn't matter which of these sides you're on
because you are basically giving the authority
of your own programming to that thing
or that message or that voice.
When like Melanie is saying in reality
just to repeat or emphasize,
it's we have to internally decide,
even if it's entirely, well, I don't want to qualify,
it's always entirely unconscious,
the decision to program ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, we didn't like, we didn't stop and go,
oh, I'm going to do this now.
You know, it's all in that unconscious,
subconscious, unconscious.
I just say unconscious for simplicity's sake.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, I know that the whole Freudian system.
What's the right label for that?
I don't know.
Yeah.
It's just somewhere in the shadows, you know,
that you're not aware of.
That's it.
Until you can slip into, I think that parasympathetic,
where it becomes aware.
You feel safe enough to have a look at it now
because you've tucked it away at some point.
Right, there's less noise in the signal.
So because when you're in that sympathetic mode,
everything's firing.
Before the interview, Melanie had a nice,
like just a lay down, she got quiet
and I'm handling 27 last second little details that are,
and so I can feel, yep, I'm absolutely
in the sympathetic mode.
When I close my eyes for a whole half a minute before,
I could feel my brain searching for,
did I miss anything?
Did I miss anything?
So it's still very much in the sympathetic.
And so this is something that,
you know, it's not to say one is better than the other.
We have both for a reason.
Yes, we do, yeah.
But if we spend 99.9% of our time in the sympathetic mode,
then we don't have that healing time.
Yes.
And deprogramming can be done,
but it's more likely that you're going to become
proficient at it when you're in the parasympathetic.
Do you want to describe what parasympathetic means
for those people who don't use those terms by the way?
Yeah, I think so.
What sympathetic nervous system is, is action oriented,
but not always.
So, you know, it's just a response to something
that you are taking in and you're having a reaction.
So whether you fight or you flee
or you tend and befriend or sometimes called fawn
or you're overstimulate, like it'll overstimulate hyper arousal.
Hyper vigilance.
Hyper vigilance, things like that.
And sometimes we get stuck in those modes.
Yes, they're helpful when you have a tiger chasing you.
You are going to want your legs to kick in and run away.
So yes, yes.
Right, but even a live stream to start, right?
Like it's useful.
Well, and it's something, yeah, it's useful,
but it's also perceived threats that aren't there.
You know, like thoughts or ideas that you have
about your experience that you're going to have
even coming on a podcast, like the experience that, you know,
it's not going to go right or something and fear kicks in.
That's a sympathetic nervous system response.
Yeah.
You know, things like that,
but things that you perceive as threats that aren't real.
Right.
So you can still have a sympathetic response.
But from what I understand about that
and through the things I went through,
it does put you into a victim state
and it also puts you into a bit of a lack
because then you're lacking safety
or you're lacking control or did you get it right?
So I think that's maybe when,
just saying this now for the first time,
maybe that's when programming is installed.
The shift into parasympathetic on the other hand
is rest and digest.
And that's where the healing takes place
because you're not healing in survival mode.
You're just trying to get by and live.
And then when you become accustomed to living
in that state to shift into parasympathetic
or rest and digest is uncomfortable.
It is a threat to the way you have been living
and your nervous system knows that.
And that's why some people may,
myself included, had a hard time learning how to relax,
learning without guilt or whatever else came up, right?
Because I was so accustomed to running a certain way.
It's like a car engine that's collaborated too high
and that becomes your norm.
So when you do start to shift over and navigate...
Calibrate.
Calibrated.
Thank you.
Yeah, Calibrate.
Take me on.
And so it does take some patience with yourself
and relearning how to regulate yourself.
So self-regulation tools.
Yeah, exactly.
The ability to answer your question.
Yeah, yeah, perfectly, perfectly.
Yeah, it's interesting because say with any pulls,
parasympathetic and sympathetic sides
of the nervous system,
the active and the rest and digest sides,
it's as if they're opposing each other.
Same with masculine and feminine.
It's as if they're polar opposites and opposing each other.
Yeah, that would make sense
because I think the sympathetic would be more masculine
where the other one is more feminine to receive.
Right, but just to finish the thought there,
that I suspect that they're actually not opposite at all,
that they work perfectly together in tandem.
Just the way...
In unity.
In unity, there isn't one without the other.
Now, it doesn't mean I'm not denying that you can't,
that people don't get into hyper-vigilance
and always stimulated.
And like you said, so uncomfortable
if you are still in that.
I remember honestly,
when I first started doing meditation
in my university days,
five minutes was the max,
absolute maximum for sitting still.
And then I'm like kind of growing out of my skin.
Yeah, it's like, I gotta go,
because the nervous system starts to panic
because it's not familiar.
And you could say also,
you've become aware of a nervous system
that is not at rest.
And yes, it could panic you as well.
But just the awareness,
there was one year when I really focused in
on just being aware of my body
and my flesh to the next level.
Like we think we all do that,
but you'd be surprised how disassociated,
how many levels exactly.
And I remember when I feel like I finally got in
and really understood what embodiment
was on a practical level, not just an idea.
And it was so uncomfortable.
It was just like,
like this, right?
So, yeah, so foreign and so strange
and as if I've never been there before
or something like that.
And you said the word, the keyword uncomfortable.
We have been trained in society not to be uncomfortable
and that it's not something that we actually want.
We want comfort, comfort, comfort.
And of course, but you have like low vibrating emotions,
things like fear and grief,
they are uncomfortable.
Yeah, and in reality, even what we consider to be comfortable
is not at its depths.
I thought I was like, oh, wait a minute.
That's okay.
I'm sorry.
It's true because there are different layers.
And then, so yeah, you get to a point
where the realization is that every human experience
is actually uncomfortable.
In reality.
And then so.
And then that label,
like that has been labeled uncomfortable,
even though it's just an experience really
if you remove all the emotional aspect.
No.
No, no, this is direct observation.
It's not a meaning I've given it or an interpretation.
It's that, and that's been one of the bigger revelations
that I've had and I'm not the first to have it,
just that even the high energy you were saying it earlier,
even the high energy that we think,
oh, now I've arrived, now I feel good.
I'm courageous.
I can accept things.
I can be at peace with things.
But if you really go deeply into those experiences,
you discover how incredibly uncomfortable they are.
And I think this is the ongoing work of deprogramming
is to get not to a place of comfort,
but actual freedom.
Yes.
And this can be the most uncomfortable of all.
Yes.
And, you know, on that journey to freedom,
it's funny how my own self resisted it.
You know, it was like,
there was some mechanism in play
that somehow I was an imposter.
And I also had the
I thought freedom came with a cost
because I think the imagery put out there
is people who go at war for freedom of a country.
That somehow people have to die and be hurt
and mutilated and killed in order to have freedom.
And when, you know, you are coming up to somebody
and saying, oh, hey, I can help you deprogram,
do you want your freedom?
It's like, when someone said that to me,
I was like, oh, that must mean horrible,
horrible, horrible experiences and things.
Wow.
But where did I get that from?
Well, imagery that I had seen on TV
that that's how you got it.
Right.
So that's a scary thing, right?
So of course the resistance comes up to that.
Right, right.
And even like a really old analogy,
but when you try to take a caged bird out of its cage,
it acts like you're trying to kill it.
Mm-hmm.
And mostly because it doesn't know freedom.
Yeah.
It's not familiar with freedom,
but we are familiar with suffering.
Mm-hmm.
So that seems safer.
Right.
Suffering seems safer.
Suffering seems safer, yeah.
Because it's familiar.
Yeah, we know it.
There's something to hang on to.
With freedom, there's nothing to hang on to.
No, I feel the more I do work like that,
the more, what is that?
We're called trans,
where it kind of flows through you.
You're not a sticky.
You don't, things don't stick on so much.
Yeah.
Translucent, is that the word I'm thinking about?
Could be, yeah.
Exactly.
Where it does see through, air through or something.
Transparent.
Transparent, yeah.
Transparent maybe is the word that I'm trying to find, yeah.
Right, right, yeah.
And it doesn't mean that I don't,
you know, it's like you're still faced with stuff.
You know, there's still stuff.
It doesn't mean you're, you know,
you're free of things happening.
It just gives you tools how to navigate.
You can understand more of the process
so you don't feel like a lot of the times,
I think when I was going through really hard things,
I felt like I was floating around in the abyss.
And sometimes I get like that.
Too much in the head, too much air element, right?
It's like, okay, let's ground,
let's get back into our bodies.
You know, what can the body tell me
about this experience?
Exactly.
And the body doesn't lie.
Yeah.
Let's have a look at some of the comments here.
We're missing them.
And it's hard to look at two things at one time.
So just wanted to say hello to Ms. Maya.
Glad you can hear us.
Hello, Stephanie.
Yeah, you know, Maya is all your,
all your friends are here.
And Jenny G is in the chat.
Nice to see you fun,
yeah, real life friends.
What the heck?
It's not as common, sadly,
but we made it happen today.
It's really good.
Because Melanie, you live about an hour
and a quarter hour and a half away.
If we're just not that far, really,
in the scheme of things,
it's true.
Well, I see you more than anyone.
So, okay.
And thank you very much.
And Jenny said,
you always love that at the pace
designed for my piece
when praying, manifesting guidance.
Yeah.
Pace is a really good subject, actually.
And a lot of people feel like somehow
the pace is outside of their doing.
And I'm always the first one to remind them,
you go at your own pace.
Yeah.
You take it on.
I can continue to invite you.
And I'm also going to make great effort
never to push you.
I have done that a lot in my past.
And it never worked.
Mm-hmm.
Now, it creates resistance.
Yeah.
It's like, nope.
Exactly, yeah.
If you want someone's hands to come up
and they tell you to back off and you push them.
But it's that kind of fine line.
And I'm sure you know this as a teacher
where the invitation is there.
It's not, you can't mistake it or miss it.
I think the invitation without people
being more direct, they just know what's there.
It's like the day that I met you.
You didn't tell me what you did
or what you believed in or anything,
but the invitation was there for me to come
and make that greeting to you.
Nice.
So that is kind of, that I call that alignment.
You know, like it's, there was no push.
You weren't trying to, it was just,
but you had your aura or your essence had an invitation.
Beautiful.
Yes.
Beautiful.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
And mammograms are toxic.
Don't do those.
I've luckily never ever had one of those.
And I'm not going to, yeah.
I don't know if you want to talk about any of that.
I've been through the entire,
because I had no trust in myself
and I was fear-mongered a lot,
or I took that in.
I did do the treatments.
I've worked on forgiving myself
because I don't think I'd be able
to talk about this without crying.
It was, I held a lot of grief about my choices.
You know, did it save my life at the time?
It probably did,
because I had no tools.
I had, I couldn't feel anything.
I was so far in apathy
that I even had surgeries
and came out of surgery with no feeling.
And I would ask the nurse like,
hey, what kind of drugs did you give me?
I can't feel anything.
And they'd say none.
And that shocked my system completely
because I knew I was in apathy.
And like, but not at the time.
This is looking back
because I hadn't met Beth at that point.
And I just remember laying there going,
why can't I feel myself?
Like, I'm in trouble here.
Like the red flags were going off, right?
I had, I was in apathy for so long
that I didn't even feel what they were doing anymore.
You know, and then came some chemotherapy.
My body rejected after the second treatment
I blacked out.
I realized what was happening
was I probably had a malfunction in the liver called,
I can't remember the MTFR.
I almost called the mother effer gene.
I'm not very science with stuck with names,
but where I couldn't detoxify,
my pathways were blocked
or my liver wasn't capable of detoxifying clearly.
So what was happening was the toxins
were actually building up in my body
and not being detoxed out.
So I blacked out, you know.
And, but, you know, they find a way.
They put demoral, benadryl, sorry,
benadryl inside of my body
and administered it slower.
Been there.
Okay. Yeah.
So that's, you know, it's like,
it's like you, it's like here, here, here, here you go.
It's like the, you know, reminds me of Snow White
where the, the, the witch says like,
here, dearie, you take the apple.
You know, I just, I had images of that like so clearly.
And it, and then just me putting my arm out and offering.
And, you know, it's like I said,
it's been a long road to forgiveness to myself.
And, and because, yes,
it probably did save my life at the time,
but it was also trying to kill me, you know.
And then taking a drug after, you know,
supposed to be for 10 years, I also was blacking out.
And I could feel the inflammation building up inside.
So I knew it wasn't going to be helpful.
And I knew I needed something else.
And finding the work that you brought forth
was something else.
Amazing. Wow.
Good for you.
Yeah. We really share that.
And it is tempting to,
maybe not even tempting,
but it would beat ourselves up for past mistakes.
And there's this unconscious desire
that we won't make that mistake again.
Or we won't make a similar kind of mistake.
And if as long as we got the hammer
and we keep hitting our own head with it,
that somehow that's going to guarantee this.
But it's actually the other way around
that when you beat yourself up,
it causes you to numb out.
And then self-inflicted suffering.
Yep. And then exactly.
And then it's a setup for doing,
you maybe don't do the exact same thing,
but you'll do the same thing in a different way.
Yeah.
Yeah. So that inner work of,
now I always say that forgiveness is not a technique.
If you say, oh, forgive yourself, Melanie,
or oh, just forgive yourself,
that don't be hard on yourself.
I even wanted to say that, right?
And but it doesn't work.
Then it's another layer of numbness to the reality.
Oh, I was beating myself.
Maybe I have even an injury as a result of that.
That would be more like the longs of toxic positivity lines.
Yeah, nice.
Right there in a whole different degree, right?
Oh, don't feel that way.
It's okay.
It's like, no, I need to own that.
I need to own the guilt I felt and the betrayal,
and I need to feel through that in order to find the forgiveness.
It's not something that you just flick a switch and do.
Exactly.
You know, there's layers of it.
Yeah. I always say that the forgiveness,
it is a result, not a technique.
Right. Okay.
So that when you come in and you find out,
that was the revelation when I wrote the chapter
on the hedonist in my book.
That's the revelation of going to bed at night
and having the hammer out and like,
why, why, why, Beth?
Why did you do that?
Why did you do it again?
Oh.
Why did you do it again?
Like this, and there came a moment,
very poignant moment where I was able to step back
and see this whole dynamic.
And then what I was doing by hitting myself
was trying not to feel the pain
of what I then termed or coined this term of an empty why.
Okay.
Yeah.
Because when we ask ourselves something we can't forgive
ourselves for, why did you do it?
Why did you do it?
Don't do it again.
What were you, stupid, all this kind of self-talk.
It's avoiding the deeper pain of the meaninglessness
of the suffering.
Yeah.
This is the most unendurable part of our existence
is meaningless pain because it's so far out of alignment
with who we actually are.
And, but, but the tendency is to bypass.
I know we're really seriously geeking out,
but we did promise to geek out.
Well, this is talking about deprogramming.
Yes, exactly.
We're on topic.
But that the desire to avoid pain by causing pain,
like you can see how absolutely nonsensical
our unconsciouses are that this is the logic.
Well, if I just beat myself,
then I won't have to feel that deeper pain.
Right.
Instead of just facing like an often you say like,
why did I do it again?
Why did I do it again?
Well, it's the mechanism.
It's not, it's not who you are going back
to the whole programming stuff.
There's probably something underneath
that a core wound of I can't win or I'm not perfect.
That's why you did it.
Right.
Like, or, or, or like, yeah.
And I won't say or it's and, and so that the programs
are no good reason.
There's because they're empty.
Yeah.
There's they're when you let them go.
It's like it didn't even exist.
It's like you didn't even have,
it erases the experience almost.
Exactly.
You know, it's like, oh.
Yeah.
The joke's always on you when you let it go
and you see like, oh, wow,
I acted out that program.
Yeah.
And yet it doesn't even exist.
Yeah.
It's gone now.
Yeah.
It wasn't what I thought it was.
It didn't have power over me as it turns out.
It just seemed like it did.
And then, and then, yeah.
The, the.
Well, I think it did have power at that time
when, when you did act out, but it's
false city, like it's to make you feel
better or superior or whatever.
So you did, like, like I see it as,
as an acting out of something,
not who you really are.
Yeah.
You know, that unconditional presence of being
and just being in that unconditional love.
And it doesn't, it's not fluffy
unconditional love.
It's just really experiencing things
from the heart.
Exactly.
You know, it's not that, you know,
oh, everything's fine.
Everything's okay.
Unconditional love, everything.
You know, that's, that's another thing,
but it's just embodying.
What that feels like, regardless of the
experience, like beating,
like the reverse of beating yourself up,
having compassion and empathy for yourself.
You know, oh, that really wasn't who I am.
You know.
Yeah.
Now, now that I see that, okay.
And I know that that mechanism's in place.
How can I now deprogram that mechanism?
Which is all you need to do.
Yeah.
Right.
And then, and then the forgiveness
naturally follows.
That is true.
It just is.
Yeah.
And there's no efforting and there's no
pretending because most people,
when they get into forgiveness,
it's actually denial.
They're like, oh, it didn't matter so much.
I can forgive or oh, they probably won't
do it again.
I can forgive.
Yeah.
You're not feeling the really underlying
wound there.
Yeah.
You're kind of just layering on top.
Exactly.
Skipping, skipping stones.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Are you guys getting this?
Does it make sense?
Let's see.
Oh, I keep saying things the second
you're about to type it.
That's so fun.
I love that.
Eb, nice to have you here.
She's local too.
We'll have to have a tea.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
And something about Superman.
I might have missed that part.
Hello, Maya.
Great to have you here.
Oh, Michelle's in the house.
Invitation to walk into the storm
instead of trying to outrun it.
Exactly.
Yeah.
That's a really big one.
The eye of the storm.
You use that terminology for a while
and the buffalo analogy.
That's the one.
I actually looked it up.
It's like, I think the buffalo
are the only animal that runs
into the storm.
Everything else flees
if you actually look it up.
Wow.
Okay.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
So why is that?
You know, goosebumps, it's like,
because they're brave.
Because it takes courage.
Yeah.
So which is part of the emotional
scale.
Right.
And wisdom.
It's just a project.
I can't say for sure,
but they seem like a wise animal.
And they seem like it's used as a
symbol for wisdom.
They seem like they're so large,
their energy, but it's like they
know a lot.
Yeah.
But they're humble about it.
Right.
And they live long too, right?
They do.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm guessing now I'll have to go
and research the buffalo more.
But something else to uncover.
Yeah.
That's a thing that when you
all you need to know about
running into the storm is
having run away from a number of
storms repeatedly over time,
you start to see how does your
experiment turn out?
Does it work good for you?
Do you, do you get there?
Or do you end up actually that
you have to keep running from the
same storm that's just,
you know, otherwise.
And maybe that's where the
surrender word is more,
not better used,
but a good place for that is to
surrender into the storm of it.
Yeah.
Not.
100%.
You know, so word usage,
like where is it more purposeful?
Nice.
I would say, you know,
surrender into the storm instead
of running is where I could,
you know, that word is, I think.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I've used the word code a lot
and I used it in journey code,
which was the coaching training
that you did.
And I couldn't stop myself from
using it in this new course,
which is going to be companion
or is companion to journey code.
And so I've been doing a lot more,
a focus and concentration on the word code
and the code,
the coded nature of our world
and our universe,
that, you know, everything from,
it's the code of an emotion
that allows you to see the difference
between peace and apathy,
which can be a very fine line,
but it's different code, right?
It feels different in the body.
It has its own frequency.
It really does.
Yeah.
Same with the programming.
It has a certain code to it.
Every thought that we have
is giving us code literally.
It's coding, not coding us.
It would be a wrong way to say it.
And then, so everybody deals with us,
I think it's pretty universal
where they have thoughts
they'd rather not have.
And, you know, say they go to do
something out of their comfort zone.
You mentioned it when I texted you
an invitation and you intimated that,
oh yeah, some stuff came up.
Yeah.
Right on time.
Yeah.
And so one of the ways
that I've been learning to deal
with this, to cope with it,
is, or not to cope,
that's a very bad word
because that's more just like...
Navigate.
Yeah, to navigate exactly,
is to run into the storm of the thinking
and say, you know,
I'm about to take a risk of some kind
and there's the guy on my shoulder
that says, you're never going to do it.
You're going to fail.
And I'll turn around instead of go like,
get away from me.
I'm trying to get something done,
which makes it actually come on stronger.
I will turn and I'll go, oh yes,
I will fail.
That's right.
Allow yourself that experience.
And just go into that storm.
Go through that storm.
That's right.
You're coming at me with your storm,
bring it on.
What else do you have for me?
Yeah.
Oh, another take down.
Oh, great.
Okay, anything else?
You got some more information,
code for me?
Yeah.
And then it's like...
And I think if I'm hearing you correctly,
that would be what you would call an aversion to.
Yeah.
The things that you,
the thoughts that you have
that you think you're not supposed to have
around something.
It's like, oh, that's a bad thought.
I'm going to get rid of that.
No, that doesn't work either.
Yeah.
So just those things that you avert
or stay, try to try your best to
not have that experience.
It's just as powerful as an attachment.
You got it.
So it will also draw the experience
in the things that you are avoiding.
Exactly.
So something to keep in mind as well.
Yeah.
It's two really big principles
in the deprogramming work
that we have both attachment.
Kind of versions to think.
And aversion.
And then you do this
and basically you're creating the action
of a skid steer thing
that has the potential to just spin
around and around.
Oh, yeah.
I'm using a machine analogy
just because I hang around guys.
I kind of see it as like pendulum
swinging, you know.
And then when you look at the things
you are avoiding
and the things you are attached to
eventually you get a place of
you kind of take the charge away
from the polarities.
Is that am I saying that correctly?
If one has a negative charge
or one has a positive charge
those polar like it becomes more neutral
and then you have more clarity.
So you're not swinging back and forth.
Is that?
Yeah.
I think of it differently.
Okay.
Yeah.
But I think it's partly resistance.
I have an aversion to the word neutral.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Because the poles do not neutralize each other.
Right.
When you got a magnet.
Okay.
You got a positive pull.
You got a negative pull.
Yeah.
Into infinity.
This is still.
So what happens right in the center?
Of those two.
The whole thing is a movement.
Right.
The whole thing is a constant movement.
But somewhere the negative and positive
have to meet somewhere in that center line.
They're one in the whole.
Do they bleed into each other?
They're not separate from each other.
There's no meeting.
Right.
So it's one thing.
We're breaking out the parts
and then as if there's going to be a neutral zone.
And I don't think of it as that way.
I'll give that some more thought.
I haven't really kind of looked at that whole.
I mean the things I know up to now
kind of led me to explain that the way I did.
But of course there's always more to learn.
And navigate through.
Or just a different way to look at it.
To kind of see it from a different perspective.
For sure.
Yeah.
I'll take a look into that.
Yeah.
And then it's because the temptation
is that we need to balance two poles,
two sides of any pendulum.
Okay.
So then can I ask a question then?
Okay.
So then if the aversions have,
they have some kind of polarization to them.
Is that true?
Is that a true thing?
Okay.
And then so do the attachments.
Exactly.
So then what are we doing then
when we are looking at attachments and aversions
and releasing the programming under that?
That what you said.
So releasing the programming
that causes you to go from attachment to aversion
to attachment to aversion tirelessly,
endlessly investing all of the life energy
and just going back and forth,
trying to get what you want,
trying to stay away from what you don't want.
So that would be labeled as perhaps inner conflict
when you have that inner conflict going back and forth.
Oh, totally.
Because you'll have both attachments and aversions.
Yes.
That's why you have trouble with-
So they're taking up a lot of space.
Yeah.
A lot of airtime, a lot of noise,
a lot of activation of the nervous system
like we were talking about before.
The mistake that gets made is that people think
they need to balance those.
So you want to get enough attachment
and enough aversion
and then you're going to get this magic neutral.
No.
Okay.
No.
It's not how it works.
So would it be right to say
that that's where you would have freedom
to make a free will choice then?
Where you release all your attachment and aversions.
Are you in a place of freedom then?
Right.
So every single time you release an attachment,
you find freedom that was already there.
Every single time you release an aversion,
you find freedom that was already there.
The revelation of what I call the marriage of the opposites,
which I gave a talk on,
I think I do have a recording that I've never put out
from Anarcapulco last year is that you,
both sides become meaningless in the process.
Yes. Okay.
Well, you see the illusion.
The illusion of it.
Of that.
Well, I love these things about you,
but I don't like those things about you.
Well, I love these things about you.
And then if I deprogram both my attachments and aversions,
meaning get to the bottom, like what's in it for me?
Do I lack for safety?
Do I lack for love?
Do I lack for control?
Do I lack for connection?
What motivates me to do this or this and this?
So it's not about trying to make those two work together
or balance or cooperate or anything like that.
It is about seeing through the opposites.
That in fact, the attachment and the aversion are the same.
It's the same internal action, but we break them out
and create entities that have polarity.
Not only in entities like bad guys.
Just energies.
That they determine and push and pull us towards what we want
and away from what we don't want.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, yeah.
Okay.
It's deep.
It's deep, you guys.
Yeah.
And thank you very much, Michelle, for inviting that.
I appreciate it so much.
And are we losing you guys?
Let us know.
Superman in creator code.
Ah, okay.
There you go.
Thoughts on...
Joe dispenses supernatural.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think the only thing I know about Joe dispenses
is the epigenetics that we have the power to kind of work...
It goes back to maybe what you were saying on the code.
Like we are all built with a DNA code, right, when we're born.
And somehow that coding gets fractured.
And they've known things like BRCA1 and 2,
they're telling you it's a genetic mutation.
Or different expressions of human beings are genetic mutations.
So then if we have that code that had been mutated,
do we have the power to rebuild the code?
Is kind of I think what Joe dispenses work is all about.
Okay.
Well, that's interesting because I always say there's no reprogramming.
And there's...
Right.
Because the original code is still underneath there somewhere.
Yeah.
It's possibly...
Yep, marrying the opposites.
And then, yeah, have tea with us.
Absolutely.
Yin and yang heaven and earth.
Yeah, there's an endless number of those...
What was I just gonna say that I interrupted myself about?
So, yeah, no recoding going on over here.
So that's...
Right.
Yeah, so I have a strong aversion to the recoders.
To the word recoding.
Yeah.
Or reprogramming.
Because we have the blueprint.
And so that that theory that we are blueprinted
with everything that we could possibly need.
Yeah.
So then...
Yeah, actually I have a bit of a goose bumpy on that one.
So I'm gonna go with truth there.
I'm gonna go with my sensors.
Yeah.
It's part of the Psyop.
I think it is actually.
Now that we're kind of uncovering it a little bit,
it does feel a bit suspicious.
Yeah, yeah.
Of course, how convenient that we always feel to be lacking.
Yeah.
What we need.
Yeah, yeah.
Or old.
Now that I settle that out loud, I'm like...
And part of saying things like that out loud
is to actually hear yourself.
And then kind of go, well, is that really true, Melanie?
For sure.
Or is that just another story?
Or is that just another thing out there
to make us believe that we're lacking somehow?
Yeah.
And as soon as I said that we have this blueprint inside,
like all of my body, just the senses, just ignited.
Amazing.
You know, just like, yeah.
Amazing.
So good, so good.
And I've been in this situation many times.
It's one of the themes of Creator Code.
I just did a video for them as an introduction.
And so I have hit a blank slate many times in my life,
gone through some kind of calamity breakdown,
my own cancer journey, as I mentioned,
having to die so many times all the time,
dying, dying, dying.
And then I come out of it clear because of having done
the inner work, having deprogrammed.
And it's just like cleaning the slate.
I remember after my father died.
And, you know, that's a really hard experience, of course.
And it was on the heels of having done a lot of the release
training and my own certifications in that world.
So I had quite a community around me at the time,
a lot of resources, a lot of support.
And I was able to clean up, I know, a heck of a lot faster
on a death that can, you know.
It could take a longer time.
It could take a long time for the death of a parent, especially.
It's strangely like a major house cleaner.
And then I came out of it and I wasn't suffering nearly to the degree.
It goes on, you know, not to over exaggerate,
but it was just a blank slate.
And I didn't know who I was anymore.
And I didn't know how I was ever going to come into the world again.
Wow.
And I had a, you know, I had a semi-public life
like I've always had or almost always had for the last 25 years now.
And I just, I had nothing to come out with.
I had no persona.
I had no identity.
Who am I?
The nature of my work, I could see it intellectually
and I could keep going through some motions around it.
But it wasn't authentic.
It wasn't like some kind of thing.
And this is where people might start to think,
oh, reprogram, reprogram.
Start put some good stuff in or something like that, right?
But to me, that was not it at all.
That it was actually going even more into the depths.
First of all, all of our programming around the unknown.
And, you know, the unknown is a kind of death
to have to exist in that for five minutes.
People like scramble and grab at things
that are not really them or theirs to be done,
not aligned with them.
But if you can withstand that, for lack of a better word,
empty space or the clean slate
without needing to start building on it and filling on it
and let that bring up even deeper layers of programming.
And come to that point.
And then for me, it's always in the mix
is always going to be an urge to connect,
to have a deeper experience of my world.
Because I've been in my own bubble doing my own things.
Then it's time to get out and actually talk to people
and see who's out there
because I'm not doing any work in a vacuum for myself only.
It's only relative to the people that want to do it.
Otherwise, it's nothing.
It's meaningless.
It's worthless.
And so it's always the very deepest of the deprogramming
brings me into connection,
brings me into awareness of where people are at.
And that starts to feed back
into an authentic eruption of some kind.
Yes.
Inspiration, like true inspiration that's not
efforted, but it comes naturally.
Yes.
I think from this listening to that,
what I think of is embodying.
So that's the full.
I'm going to use the word integrating here,
but when you do that inner work
and then you go out into the public,
it's like who now exists in your reality?
Because you're going out now as a different energy being
you will attract different experiences and new people.
And when it's reflected back to you, like you say,
it's almost like a subconscious reflection of the work you've done.
And then to me, there's like this inner
kind of like a sense of embodiment.
Yeah.
That's like a rival.
That's like, oh, you know,
look at what's being reflected to me now.
Like, oh, wow, that's so beautiful.
Yeah.
And there's something like
to be said about, you know,
like that fake it till you make it,
you can go out there and fake a smile
and be happy and put on the face.
But are you really like, what is it like that's acting?
But can you embody what that feels like?
And it's effortless.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
It's just there.
Yeah.
And then it has a life and a momentum of its own as if.
And it's not, I mean, it doesn't mean there's not going to be work and hardship.
And, you know, it always is a double edged,
I'll just have to say double edged sword,
because you end up, I end up creating a lot of work for myself,
like a ton, a ton of work.
Because I know that and that's,
that's where I've got, you know,
I've got attachment to creating
and I've got a version to creating.
The aversion is like, oh, I'm going to,
I'm going to make just a crap ton of work.
I'm going to overwhelm myself, maybe I'll, you know, fall down
and I won't be able to do what I set out to do
or nobody's going to love it
or all of those kind of things come up.
And it just all, every step of the way,
it becomes the inner work of freedom.
If you, if you choose it and you allow it to be,
so like every single, every single step
is going to be a new layer.
And I always laugh at myself like,
honestly, I could have taken a fake it approach.
It's, I don't lack for things to come out in the world with.
I've got several courses I could,
I've never even properly promoted my book.
I, you know, I can, I could get out locally
and teach any range of subjects within my subject.
And it's just endless.
I could go in so many different directions,
but to really get to that embodied place,
that's become my new standard, right?
So, so then it ends up being some new eruption
to create something new for right now.
You know, something.
Yeah, because you're not that person
that built that course three, four years ago
or gave that thought you are,
you are a whole new human being now.
So that would be almost like living in the past.
Like, because there's progression that happens
as we create and put things out in the world.
If we're, if we're growing all the time,
then there's always a new version of ourselves
building and creating something new.
Yeah, yeah.
To more present moment stuff.
Yeah, that can be a problem
when you keep outdating yourself quickly.
Yeah, yeah.
I go back to old work and I'll,
I'll make myself tune in with it
and just see like, am I still that person?
Am I, can I, am I still behind?
Can I still get behind?
And luckily, you know, when you find truth,
it has a thread to it.
And so there might be different expressions.
There are, there are things,
have there have been things that I've had to edit.
Every time I did a run of journey code,
I had to go and edit certain things.
Like, oh, you know, new findings.
Updates, updates.
Absolutely.
So that I'm not misleading people with old ideas.
Well, because that's what you knew at the time.
And then if, as you learn and keep growing,
you learn something different
or that maybe was not the case anymore.
Yeah.
So that's a lot of work to go back and correct too.
Oh yeah.
Right.
So.
Yeah, look at Garrett Smith now who you know
through the love your liver kind of stuff.
And he's the same way.
Very fast, grower, fast learner.
And so he leaves a lot of new evidence.
New evidence.
Comes out.
Yeah.
And so he leaves a lot of himself in the dust
because of it.
But I mean, personally, I think that's a cost you can afford to have.
Moving too fast.
Well, who knows what our pace is?
Only we know.
Like you talked about pace earlier.
It's like maybe some people are meant to move quicker.
Maybe some people are meant to move slower.
How can we decide that for somebody?
We can't.
Exactly.
You can only for yourself.
You know your own pace.
But yeah.
Yeah, he's like me.
Yeah.
And I would say you too.
Yeah.
So we've got Superman and Creator Code.
You're going to have to go deeper on that.
No, let me know what that is.
DNA has been debunked.
I know I had that thought.
I didn't want to just totally jump down.
Yeah, no.
I know what it's like to talk about.
Like I said, it's people's.
I look at kind of what's being pushed out there.
And a lot of times it's not what's really going on.
So.
Yeah, exactly.
Kind of.
I mean, that's like it.
Kind of thoughts about it.
But it's like.
I was just going to show the back of my book.
There is a little DNA there, right?
This is one of my favorite metaphors.
And oh yeah.
So now I have to leave that one out.
Because it just doesn't mean what we thought it did.
Well, that's right.
And that's part of us.
And being part of it too is the courage
to actually say the thing out loud
and then be corrected.
Because a lot of people don't want to also be corrected.
They want to stand true in there in the story.
Yeah.
Right.
So I think talking about it and knowing that, oh, you know,
well, maybe that's not right.
What we are not sorry, not right.
Just not not truth.
Right.
You know, so then that just to me,
that gives me another avenue of self discovery, you know,
and not relying on, oh, what does this book tell me?
It's like, what does this body tell me?
Yeah, beautiful.
And learning how to believe what your own body
is actually communicating to you as truth.
It's one of the things I admire so much about you, Melanie,
is that you're always willing to put yourself out there.
And, you know, in Journey Code as an Apprentice,
you were always the first to put your hand up.
I'm going to take that risk.
I'll teach that class.
I will do this assignment.
And I feel it's the same way,
because sometimes until you put yourself out,
you don't know what's in here.
It was a good way to push me and let programming come up,
because like, maybe this is all human beings,
but as a child and stuff, I always felt like I had a bigger,
and maybe it's all human beings,
like I'm not just saying, oh, yeah, it's me.
I've been chosen, you know, this whole thing.
It's like that we have something bigger than just what we're doing,
like that we are more than what we're led to believe
that we are capable of.
And like, after getting sick and almost losing
my physical presence here on this earth, I was like,
I had so much passion for finding truth
and not just theories and conspiracy,
but the truth of me and what I was here to express.
And what am I here?
How am I in service to the world?
What am I here to do?
You know, what messages am I here?
I've been writing songs about journeys and things.
And I think one of the gifts I embody is the ability
to communicate about experiences.
And I think in songwriting or poems,
and you put things like that out in the world,
and other people can relate.
And they're not, you know, there's songs out there
that they're not good to listen to over and over again
and instill ideas into the head,
but I'm hoping that my songs have messages that inspire people.
They really do.
That I have messages that can create inspiration.
Absolutely.
And I feel really good about that.
Nice, nice.
And if you guys are on Facebook,
I did post a link to Melanie's Facebook page.
And so you can go and you're often posting
your beautiful little songs.
I do have a YouTube channel.
Also YouTube, okay.
Yeah, it's called Honey Days.
I will, yeah.
And the funny thing is, is when you type it in,
it doesn't even come up in the, as a something to click on.
So I've had to send out codes to my friends and stuff.
So it's interesting.
There's a little bee there, buzzing around,
and there's a daisy.
Yeah.
Oh, see, so Beth is just checking right now.
But so it's typed honey, and then D-A-I.
S-E, and just...
That's why no one's finding it.
No, but look it.
I still don't come up.
You still don't come up.
No.
Okay.
So this is a totally different channel.
There I am right there, actually, at the top.
Yeah.
If you get the spelling correct, then yes.
Yeah, I didn't even know.
Now I'm going to sub to you and hit the bell.
Yeah.
There we go.
Honey Days.
So I'm going to share this link in the chat.
And the reason behind the name,
daisies always represent freedom to me.
Nice, nice.
The daisy flower and honey is the sweetness of that.
So a return to sweet innocence.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, nice is that.
You want to cry?
Yeah.
Cry.
Oh, sweet.
It brings tears of joy and the whole journey of that all.
Nice.
That's beautiful.
Is there one of these that I could play right now?
Would you like to...
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, how about Remember Who You Are?
It got 4,000 views.
Oh, yeah.
She went viral.
Amazing.
And because it kind of goes along the theory of like,
Remember Who You Are and how did I learn how to do that?
I went back into nature.
So...
Kay, do you want to cue this up for us?
Sure.
Here's a cute little thing that we were doing in practice mode.
This is a friend of mine that I play music with.
And he's a lot of fun.
So anyways, this was not even a,
hey, let's record this and put this on YouTube.
This was, let's have fun and record this song.
And you do whatever you do.
So, yeah.
That's awesome.
It's called Who You Are.
Nice.
And it's a bit of remembering.
Nice.
Okay.
Here we go.
Okay.
Breathe.
I knew we were here somewhere.
So I...
I was disappearing.
Yeah.
In your spotlight.
So I think that that song really speaks to me about nature coding.
You talked about coding and how,
you know, the bird song was scientifically proven to
regulate, help regulate our nervous system and,
you know, the whole sky thing.
And it's not about, like you said,
reprogramming.
It's about a remembrance of who we are.
Amen.
And I think that song was really kind of depicting that.
That's beautiful.
Yeah.
Nice.
Thank you.
Nice.
Yeah, it's so sweet.
Thank you for sharing that.
You are welcome.
And so I'm going to grab a link to your,
your fake book as well since you are pretty regularly posting there.
And Melanie's also a member of the House of Free Will.
So if you are a member, you can find her there as well.
And I do recommend that.
It's been really fun.
Especially recently, there's some new, new blood and new attention,
some new members and more engagement.
Nice.
Yeah.
It's been a while.
It's a baby.
It's still, you know, it's still a toddler walking around,
falling into things.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Getting back up.
Yeah.
A couple of really interesting things coming up in the House of Free Will is
Joel Schafer is coming to do a workshop.
He's the guy that's up on the Toltec Shamanism
kind of world.
Yeah.
Really beautiful, powerful.
He came, he came to the truth from an entirely different place in tradition,
one that I had rejected years ago.
And it's really fun just to go like, wow, he's, he found the same thing that I did
from a totally different place.
Yeah.
And yeah, it's, I just love that.
That's to me the most exciting of all.
And Alex Michael is coming, who is the Conspiracy Music Guru guy.
Have you heard his music?
The Sofegio.
Yeah.
I did watch that actually.
And I, the fellow that you see in the videos too, we talked a lot about
frequencies and how they've been slightly adjusted.
And he was on the same page.
So he had sent me another link on Facebook Messenger about that
before I even brought it up to him.
So it's interesting that we're collaborating because we're both
kind of tuning into that same thing that kind of happened with the frequency toning.
Right.
And yeah.
So it's interesting.
I don't know where our music is going to go.
We, you know, we're aware, but I don't know how to shift that yet.
I always like to say the word yet.
But yeah, we're definitely aware.
And I've been listening to different Sofegio frequency things after that talk.
So I had, yeah, it's interesting to hear.
Nice.
Yeah.
So he's coming in the house of free will and he won't be doing a workshop,
like teaching this kind of stuff that that would be more of an academic approach.
But we're just going to sit in the creative soup together.
Nice.
Yeah.
And you know, yeah, it just osmosis.
Most learning takes place like that.
I mean, there's there's a lot of different levels,
but the degree to which you're just absorbing.
This is one of the things like for creator code coming up,
for those of you that are part of it, there is going to be a gov of,
you know, there's going to be a volume of material.
It's been coming out of me.
Just this, you know, something new wanted to be created.
And but at the same time, it's not, I don't want to turn this into an academic exercise.
And more of the emphasis is going to be on actually doing this stuff,
doing the deprogramming work.
So you can do the transformation live time,
not learn about it and then go have to do it.
But as a group creating that kind of momentum.
I'd like to just offer something to people that are starting out in this
in this work.
If I okay.
Thanks.
Like there is a lot and in order, if you think that you have this expectation
that you're going to just, you know, grasp it and just know it all.
It's not something that you learn and then you're done.
It's a bit of a commitment to yourself and your own growth.
And I think that's important to know.
And it's like even when I took the course the first year,
there's lots I didn't understand.
Everyone else might have been getting it, but I was in trauma mode still.
And I felt a little bit behind sometimes and things like that.
But like you said, I, when I was ready, I came back into it.
And then I was able to hear it or receive it.
Because in sympathetic, I couldn't receive, you know,
and then a lot of that time, it took me back to my childhood,
you know, when I was in school and not felt safe in my environment,
I couldn't learn.
Yeah.
So right?
Like how, yeah.
Anyway, that's a whole nother rabbit hole.
But yeah, so my advice, if anyone would like it, if you don't, it's all right.
Is to like really be compassionate with yourself
when you're trying to learn the new concepts.
Because they are, they were foreign to me.
There was a lot of pushback and resistance in my own body.
But I do see the benefit of it.
And it's been life changing for me and definitely worth my patience.
That's beautiful.
I'm so glad you came to it.
And then, and then you came back to it of your own free will.
I didn't, I didn't put you in a headlock.
No, let's go.
I need to help you here.
No, it was, you know, and what kind of brought me back,
if I might be able to share that small amount,
was I realized I was downward spiraling again.
And I was falling into the shadows of a lot of the archetypal energies.
And I was exhausted and stuck again.
And then I thought, oh, well, I can go and do the work.
And it's like, no, I just want to live down in stuck world for a while,
you know, which is okay.
Because there are things I learned in the shadow world
that I wouldn't have seen had I not go out and went down there.
Maybe I could have, but how, how do you know if you're not aware of them?
Sometimes they bring that to your awareness.
Exactly.
So it has its purpose, you know, I call it the dark night of the soul,
if you want to put a label on it.
And I did some digging around in there for a while.
And then when I was ready to, to heal and had enough of that, I came back
and started to learn how to kind of deal with what I found on that journey.
Nice.
Yeah.
So I think it's still as important, you know, like,
so I tried not to, you know, feel lots of times I was carrying a little bit of guilt
or shame for not continually working on myself.
Like these are all weird things that we think about and are instilled.
And it's like you talked, I just want to bring pace back up again.
It's like everyone's at their own pace.
Everyone takes information differently.
And just having people, just allowing that space for them to do that,
I think is really beautiful.
Right on.
Yeah.
Right on.
Yeah.
You can't have the house of free will and then go and try to like engineer, manage people and like
go faster, go faster.
Yeah.
No, no.
Like that.
Yeah.
And then also, if anyone does want to work with me and do the somatic work with me that I do
and I help people navigate through their nervous systems, feel free to contact me
through the Facebook link that Beth sent out.
Or my email is yogacoachmal at gmail.com.
And I see clients on Zoom and in person.
I know a lot of you obviously don't live here, but if you would like help or assistance in any way
and you resonate with things that I've said, feel free to reach out to me.
I'd be happy to be in service and help you out.
Yeah.
Mel does also in the house of free will.
There's a recording of your somatics workshop workshop.
There is a recording there.
Yeah.
So that if someone wants to get a taste of what it's like to work with Melanie.
In addition, there's a ton of other library resources, including upcoming events that
are that are live, the Round Table and Law.
So for as little as three bucks a month, which is a donation that I don't demand,
but I asked for even if people like couldn't afford it for some reason,
I'm not going to keep them out as long as they're the right kind of person.
And and then you can come and see, you know, what it's like to work with Melanie,
which I loved.
I thought I thought that was fantastic.
You're a really good teacher.
You're very present.
And yeah, and you know your stuff really well.
Then then you could take her up on and you do online work as well as in person.
Correct.
So they could be literally anywhere in the world.
Yes, they can.
I've had clients over in the UK.
I've had clients in Mexico.
I've worked with people like it doesn't energy works from wherever you are.
You don't have to be in the same room with somebody.
And just the, you know, so I've done the whole.
Okay, let's try this out and see if you're receiving results.
Did you find value in that?
Every time, right on every time somebody has said,
yes, this is what I needed to do.
Like, thank you, you know, so.
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Yeah.
And Melanie is an excellent coach and I'll just blow a little smoke up your butt right now.
I look for chances to say that.
And Melanie's one of the few that I will trust to work with myself
because I'm so high and mighty.
But honestly, it was a secret agenda training coaches so that there were people
I felt comfortable working with.
Yeah.
Because, you know, I'm kind of lost to that most of the spiritual new age world
or the therapeutic world at this stage of the game.
It's like archetype quizzes don't work on me anymore.
I know what's behind the scene of them.
I understand I've been a pattern hunter for a long time.
My brain goes right to it and analyzes what's in the back end and stuff like that.
So it's been a huge, huge help to me.
I'm eternally grateful that you've been there for me as a partner
and a coach at times in a really, really excellent way.
Thank you.
You are welcome.
That means a lot to me, actually.
Right.
A lot.
So I endorse Melanie.
Yeah, yeah.
It was interesting after we did our last
apprenticing, Beth was one of the students or Beth, I can't remember,
who was was saying, hey, we should do a 30 day release challenge.
And I was looking at the computer and I was like, oh, I still want to do that.
And Beth says, and I'm going to throw my name in there to be coach.
And immediately I sent her a message, I'll be your coach.
Or do you want to do it with me?
Yeah.
Like I just jumped instantly.
I was like, wow.
And I was like, wow, did stuff come up?
Like I'm not good enough.
I can't do it.
I'm not perfect.
Why, you know, just all these things, but it helped me to develop
what I feel like a very good coaching practice now.
And I also incorporate a lot of the coaching work I've learned and the emotional stuff
into my somatic yoga classes.
So that's kind of where I've integrated what I've learned from you.
And also too, with vision boarding with people, you know, often we have a vision for ourselves
and we can't get there.
Well, that's, you know, typically because of the programming or thoughts that we have
about ourselves and our unconscious.
So I also work with people to release on that when they have visions for themselves
and can't get there.
And also something that I've noticed in my own work that I do with myself,
learning how to embody that.
There's some days I go into that meditation where I'm looking and stepping into my future
and it's not there.
The images aren't coming.
And what I notice about myself in that point is that there's a disturbance.
There's distortion.
So what I'll do is stop the meditation and go back into the coaching,
deprogramming work.
And I coach myself or get on a call with somebody at some point,
if I can't find it myself and release it.
Once I feel clear and free of it, then I put the meditation back on
and there come the visions again.
Okay.
So that's where that work is really important for me.
You know, instead of trying to force visions to come in or force outcomes,
it's like the distortion will come.
Right.
As a messenger, that's that little golden nugget ticket that'll, you know,
so that's where that work comes in.
It's like, what emotion am I feeling?
What is it wanting?
What is the core wound?
Yeah.
Well, I'm going to let that go and then clarity.
Yeah.
So have you been ever amazed how quickly you can get through to the other side
of something that you thought was,
Oh gosh, something that I thought I would literally like die from that.
I wanted just that I thought was causing me so much pain and agony.
And when the programings let go of,
and then you re ask me how I think about that situation now,
I'm like, ah, there's nothing.
There's nothing to grasp.
There's no suffering.
There's no, it's like, oh yeah, that's going to happen.
Okay.
All right.
Just matter of fact.
Matter of fact.
Yeah.
Amazing.
And then I like every time it happens, there's this a bit of a disbelief.
You know, the mechanism starts to kick in.
Like really?
Am I really not activated by that?
Yeah.
It can't be that easy.
It can't be that fast.
It actually can.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And would you would you qualify if somebody said is deprogramming work difficult?
What would you say to them?
It's a part of it.
Yes.
Yes, I would.
Yeah.
Which part of it is hard?
The part where you have to face the things that you are avoiding,
I think would be the hardest part.
Yeah.
The parts that you've kind of tucked away, you don't want to see or face
without either your situation or others or yourself
is I think a hard pill to swallow.
Exactly.
It's difficult to face things that maybe you've been telling yourself a story that
doesn't agree to.
So then there's some conflict that might arise inside.
Like this is what I've been the story I've been telling, but it's really not true
because there's a nugget there that's kind of holding hostage a bit maybe.
And it's a hard nut to like a hard nut to crack maybe to
have a look at those things about yourself.
Like for me, a lot of embarrassment and shame comes up in that instance.
I can talk about pretty freely because it happens often.
I laugh like it's a joke, but it's really not when I'm dealing with it.
It's yeah, it's difficult.
Who wants to face their own shame?
Like that's something I ran for my whole life.
And now, hello, thank you.
I'll feel you feel the shame now.
And then really after the shame transmits itself, was that shame really justified?
Often not, right?
Yeah.
Like really?
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And I mean, who didn't hear you should be ashamed of yourself
or they should be ashamed of themselves, right?
It's a it's a cultural mechanism to apply shame.
So no surprising that or no surprise we have internalized it to such a great degree
in order to be a member of this society in this culture.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's that's it's very true.
It is formidable.
It is formidable work.
I'm sorry.
Like it just it just is if I said it any other way,
then I don't want to mislead people and say, oh, this is a little tip tool through the
tulips and it's all easy.
And I'll say the opposite.
It's like, you're going to want to quit.
Yes.
There were many times I threw myself on the floor and wanted to die.
And, you know, this is good promotion.
Yeah.
Right ago.
Yeah.
But it's truth.
And I'm an honest I honesty is one of my values, which I learned.
I did not know that about myself and honesty is a value of mine.
And, you know, I threw myself on the floor, you know, with fists like a toddler wanting to
die and not move forward.
And then somewhere in the back in my head, you know, I heard Beth, you know, just keep going.
And I was like, no, I don't want to, you know.
And yeah, when you first start, you uncover some stuff, especially for me and my age,
you know, like I'm not in my 20s.
I I've I've got a lot of luggage, you know, I got a lot of baggage.
So yes, it's bringing some but it's less.
Nah, still some of it can be painful.
But it's but you understand you understand its purpose.
Yeah.
You know that if you if the suffering comes up, literally it's a wave in the ocean
and waves only last 60 to 90 seconds.
Yeah.
And when you know that and you can just hang on while that wave is crashing
on you and humbling the crap out of you, if you just hang on, it's gone.
I know.
Like magic or a miracle, if you can kind of withstand that that hammering of that
emotional turmoil is what I call it, actually, it's emotional turmoil.
Man, you're like you're you're golden after that.
There's just like that.
Yeah, you know, yeah.
And that's why I like to take it right to the level of the programming
because you can do a lot of that kind of surfing in life.
Exactly.
And you do move things.
But but there is there is more layers and.
Yeah.
And if you want to make more lasting changes, which does never
means that old stuff isn't going to come up.
It does.
I've now lived long enough to see that a lot of stuff comes around.
But at new levels and, you know, you're not stuck where you were,
but you might find a new place, a new sticky point within
a certain dynamic or a pattern of some kind.
And, you know, in good.
Well, I when I when I think like is important to say is this part is,
you know, when I said I threw myself on the floor,
it felt like I was going to die.
And you and I talked about this before about the brain, you know,
doesn't know the difference if you're physically dying or if your ego,
self survival mechanisms are dying.
Right.
And that's the feeling that you have.
So, right, right.
Exactly.
But one of the questions after you're coaching someone through that
emotional turmoil later is and not to put a joke on this,
because it's super serious as you're going through it.
It feels so real.
But what did we die?
No, we're still here.
So then recognizing that that's just a layer like a snake who sheds its skin,
you know, there's a little bit of pain while that releases.
And then you've got this new skin growth now,
you know, or a flower, I think of, you know,
you're in a tiny little bud enclosed in that safety net.
But you've got to kind of break free to grow.
Otherwise, you'll just stay that forever.
And there's a little bit of push that happens,
a little bit of pain to get through that.
Exactly.
Yeah, there's a meme that has gone around about the violence that a seed goes through,
like a bud, right?
Like to crack open that shell and to literally die to the form of the seed
such so that new growth can come out of it.
And yeah, so we really it's it behooves us to study death and let death be our teacher,
which sounds morbid, but it's the most life-giving thing ever.
When I know, and you know, I think a lot of times I think back to getting cancer
and things like that, I'm pretty sure I had a big fear of death
underlying in my subconscious programming.
You know, and I didn't want to look at death or learn about it,
or my face, my own immortality, mortality, mortality, I didn't want to face that.
And then blindsided head on like a brick wall, there it was.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Same thing.
I remember it at a very early age being afraid.
I was afraid of cancer in particular because I had a medical family full of all the,
and they would say the big C.
They wouldn't even say the word.
It was so frightening.
You couldn't use the word, right?
It became a really like a scare.
It's like, oh, you know, enemy within.
Can I talk about it?
Can I, oh, you had that?
Oh, you poor thing.
It's like what?
Like, oh, how do I, how do I, how do I receive that?
Yeah.
You know, yeah, I pray for future generations that we know it's,
yes, it's advanced toxicity and it is a serious situation.
So that's not to take away from it.
That's right.
No, it was serious.
I, you know, I could have taken the off ramp, you know,
and exited the world.
But, you know, something inside me said, no, no.
Not yet.
And I'm glad I said that to myself.
Yeah, me too.
That was my, my, my higher self taking, taking command over everything.
So.
Beautiful.
Well, I will never forget our divine meeting.
I am fast.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
You know, they say when the, when the student is ready,
the teacher appears, right?
And, and there she was.
And she went through the journey and was really deep diving her,
her own, um, wounding and things.
And, you know, the life I lived in didn't know how to do that.
You know, the people around me and in my community, we, uh, yeah.
So, a, a, a bet of fresh air.
There you go.
Oh, wait, nice.
Wait, even though, even though it was tough work, you know,
just leaving some of the, the comments, uh, I almost died,
but I didn't.
I'm still here.
There is no death.
Nice.
Death is a stalker.
The Grim Reaper, right?
Nice.
I want to put this up so I've got some dysfunction in my mouse going on.
Oh, the crying, the salt to heal the wounds inside out.
Yeah.
The salt and the tears.
It's, it's a thing.
Oh, it's totally electricity.
And, uh, yeah.
And there is no death.
True story, but you got to go through death to really know that.
And death is a stalker.
It won't leave you alone.
And that's the good part, believe it or not.
Well, death teaches you how to live.
Yeah.
It's just, yes, it did.
Me facing my own, you know, the possibility that I could die at that point,
it forced me to go on a path of learning what, how to live.
Yeah.
Like it may have taken me, it didn't, this doesn't just happen overnight.
Like I probably had cancer, it was maybe nine or 10 years ago now.
Right.
You know, so the, the journey, you know, it's not like, oh, I'm going to do this
work now and I'm going to learn how to live in a month.
It's like, no, no, no, there's, there's a process that you have to go to get there.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Everything accumulates over time and it turns into a journey.
A journey.
You got it.
Yeah.
You got it.
Live every moment, like it's going to be your last.
Exactly.
That's, that's a cliche for a reason.
Right.
That's, the Toltec say it too.
That, uh, be aware of your death every moment that they would say.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Never forget some, some might say, oh, you guys are so dark and so
something or other, but, uh, I think y'all get me here.
And, uh, we're actively writing our own intention filled endings.
Love yourself inside out.
Beautiful.
And the salt to heal the wounds inside.
Yeah.
Interesting how salt became known as a healer.
I think about a lot of comments here.
Always a student, Jenny G.
Yep.
Hmm.
Why stop learning?
Yeah.
I'm going through the pain of that.
Exercises with trauma.
They're called trauma releasing.
Yes.
Yeah.
And, and somatics.
There's a lot of, um, movements, uh, that we do in a somatic class
where you are working with the psoas muscle and, um, activating, uh, stored things,
stored emotions, not things, uh, events, things in, in your hips.
And we go through a really gentle way of awakening.
They call it awakening the tiger, actually.
And after you awaken, you move your legs in a certain, uh, positioning.
And what happens is your legs will start to tremor.
And just like in the wild, uh, when things after being chased will naturally shake.
There's videos of a polar bear running because there's a helicopter chasing it
and they tranquilize it.
And when the freeze response comes off, the, the polar bear starts to shake and convulse.
Wow.
So in, yeah, I know.
But, so in the, uh, trauma informed, uh, movement classes that I, that I do, um,
there is a place where there's allowed, the body is allowed to let go in a really
gentle way.
It's not scary.
It's not, uh, like, oh, what's happening to me?
It's, it's a beautiful, you become a beautiful witness of your own release.
Nice.
And it's at your own pace.
Like you say once before, so if the legs are, um, at a cobbler's pose or open position,
you have the ability to control the amount that your body's letting go.
You do.
Yeah.
Not me.
It's your experience.
So if you don't, if you're not sure what's happening and don't want to go through that,
you have the ability to close the knees and hug into chest.
If you want to, uh, allow the experience more because you want,
you like it and you want to release you of the ability to shift your legs into a different
position, which will allow more of the impact to release.
Nice.
Yeah.
Choice is the, is the big thing.
That's what I noticed with, uh, with everything that people are much more likely,
I know we talked about, but there's repeating that they're much more likely to receive your
invitation when there's, they know it's, it's entirely their choice to do it or not.
And, uh, I always, I always say, you know how, uh, one of the things about
my courses, I can't really take credit for it.
Honestly, I'm not engineering.
I'm not making it happen, but the, the quality of the relationships that get created through
these containers of courses is staggering.
Sometimes I look back and I can't believe it.
You know, people in 2022 are still meeting every single week.
And, you know, that 30 day challenge, I look behind me and I think somebody had already,
one of the pairs, maybe even people who are here had gone like 120 days or something.
You know, never mind 30.
Yeah.
And I know you and I kept going way beyond, way past the 30s, we just lost count.
Well, there was just a bit of a momentum that was happening.
And, and, you know, I, I do release every day with a coach.
No, but with myself, like I do take that time if I have a disturbing sensation,
you know, that says, Hey, have a look at me.
It just helps to keep my vessel, uh, that we're transparent, I guess,
or, or this are that clean slate a bit more than to walk around with all the cloudiness.
Exactly.
Yeah.
The word constipation comes to mind the same, the same way that our physical body gets backed up.
We take in so many experiences.
We already have so much stored energy from past experiences.
It's really easy to bottleneck and, uh, and then, and then a lot of pressure gets created
and you don't want to go there.
You know, you'll develop a bigger and bigger aversion.
To looking in.
So it's a kind of, in a way, it's a kind of hygiene.
I don't use this word very much, but to, but to just every day in a hygiene, right?
Like every day you brush your teeth.
Every day you go to the bathroom, hopefully several times.
Every day you do some inner work to let the shit go.
Yeah.
I think it's really what self care is all about.
Yeah.
Really is to take a look at yourself and, and how can I care for you today?
Like when you're in that meditative state and, and, and you, you know, you're getting a
divine connection with earth and also, um, sky and, and all of that.
And it's like, what do I need right now?
You know, and I automatically just do this because it's like, I want my heart to speak to me.
Right.
What, what can I do for you right now?
Right.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, you need to go for a walk.
Oh, you need to go and get groceries.
Oh, you need to take a bath.
You need to take a five minute rest.
Oh, you need to go to the bathroom.
I know, I know.
Oh, right.
It's like, oh, yeah.
It's like, because we become so unconscious to, to the needs of our body, a lot of times
we're in our heads, you know, and it's, so it's like, what can I, what do you need
right now when you're panicking, when you feel that state of panic?
Right, right.
Just that communication that you have, I think is really embodying self-care.
Exactly.
And there's even a shadow on the self-care.
I don't know if it's ever happened to you, but there's, there, you know, there comes
times where so much of your attention is on, like, is my body okay?
Is my body okay?
Did I get what I need?
Did I get the nutrients?
Do I need to go to the bathroom?
Do I, yeah, because, yeah, and, and I think it's a lover archetype thing
where, where there's a certain search for perfection.
And in, in, in the physical experience.
And I know Garrett comes across or comes up against that when people are like, oh,
well, I've got a little mole here and I don't like it.
And how do I get rid of it?
Even that, you know, they,
How do I get rid of it?
Is it a two-phrase?
Oh, yeah.
It's not getting rid of it.
How can I embrace what this is trying to tell me?
Right, right.
As a way, as a way through.
Yeah, yeah, true.
But, you know, getting into the, the fine points, I can see, I'll do it
with my home because I have the luxury.
I think like a little bit of an obsession.
It's that lover's obsession, compulsion and perfectionism.
Right.
Yeah, you got it.
There is, there is a trap in that.
Yeah.
Thanks for mentioning that too.
Yeah.
That's a good point to bring up.
And, and in this case, it's, to me, it's not about balance again.
Like, oh, well, a certain amount of time for myself.
Because life is not balanced.
Right.
Life, life comes at least for me anyway.
It comes when you have a big valley, hills, valleys.
You got exactly huge amounts of activity that mean, yeah, you know what?
For the last three weeks, I've been working every night.
But for the year before that, I was almost entirely focused on my health
because I had to.
Well, right.
Because I had accidents, I had to, I had to mend them.
I had to, you know, my basic needs became my work for a time.
Word that comes up for me is cycles.
Yes.
Cycles.
Yeah.
Of things.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Cycles and seasons.
It's like, this is, for me, this is a season to work and create.
Right.
And well, then that could go back to like moon theories and just following full moon, new moon,
all those kinds of things, waning, waxing, gibbous, like all those states of,
you know, don't make any big moves right now.
This is a time for introspection.
This is a time for release.
This is a time to plant new seeds.
We have seasons for that.
We have moon cycles for that.
We have solstices for that.
Like there's so many cycles out there, always, always, always running.
Exactly.
Spoken like a true, uh, nature child.
Yeah.
Exactly.
That tunes and it capitalizes on that in a really good way.
Yes.
It, uh, it's like, oh, there's certain energies.
But they're not going to become obsessed.
Like, you know, for me, like, it's like, yeah.
So I'll maybe catch a new moon and, and plant some seeds.
For, for my life.
But if I don't do it every time, it's okay.
You know, and then when I feel like I need to release,
I'll, I'll check it.
Oh, guess what?
There's a full moon coming up.
You know, so listening to your body too, sometimes about, you know, I,
there's, I don't have to feel like I have to like catch every single one and be every,
like adamant at it.
It's like the cycle of it when sometimes I don't feel like I have to release anything.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
We, we have the ultimate free will.
Things are not as simple as they, as we want them to be.
Right.
It's, it's nice to look at the moon.
I, I totally agree with that.
It was, I was, I was musing how I used to even choose dates based on moons.
Okay.
Knowing that certain times of the month are going to be easier for people.
Certain times of the month are going to be harder for them.
When would be a good time for me to come in with a message of any kind that,
that it would be receptive.
Now I'm more the other way around where I go, I go surely from my intuition and then I look
backward and I see.
Yes.
And then you're like, Oh, that's why my intuition told me to host here at this time.
Now, when I look at what's going on energetically with planets and things,
Oh, that kind of made sense now.
I know.
It was shocking because it was actually October when I had the dream of creator code.
But then when we get to the late December and early January astrology,
it's all bang on like crazy.
I couldn't even have scripted it that way.
So and I don't have the skills to look ahead and read and interpret the,
Well, maybe, maybe we do.
But internally energetically, that's great.
That's right.
And when you are, when you are clear, when you,
when you, this here is going back to attachment aversions,
when you release attachment and aversions,
you have a clear knowing of like what feels right or not feels right.
It's the wrong word because feelings are
be free with your words.
Okay.
It's exactly it.
It's exactly it that, that you see it's, it's in alignment.
Let's use your word.
Alignment, alignment there.
I know that that's, that's a better representation.
I think is a feel, it feels aligned to have it then.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And then you can avoid the pitfalls by deprogramming the perfectionism,
the obsession with perfection, the compulsion to like,
Oh, it's got to be on this stage and right, you know, that kind of thing.
There's a lot of freedom in, in releasing that and then seeing how things seem to align
themselves like all kinds of really beautiful puzzle pieces come into play that I didn't put
there.
Yeah.
And you're just looking back.
Sometimes the universe needs time to orchestrate all of the stuff that's floating around in your
vortex.
You know, if you're not aligned with it, it's going to float around you until you are.
Yeah.
And, you know, when, when you come internally aligned, those pieces come to meet you where
you are and everything falls into place.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And maybe it wasn't perfect and maybe it wasn't on the exact
day or anything.
It was what it needed to be.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
What a beautiful conversation, Melanie.
Thank you.
We should do it again.
Yeah.
It was good.
It'd be nice to have her back on.
Hey.
Yeah.
Well, thank you everyone for joining us today.
And look, we managed to talk the whole entire time.
Moon watching.
We'll just finish with some comments.
Isn't the moon in the Mamanote?
It's on the station to control you, Melanie.
Don't trust the moon.
Moon watching.
It is comforting to know your place in the rhythm of life.
Very nice.
Thank you.
And the cosmic wink.
Full moon makes people lunatics.
It really does.
Your dad told you about chopping down trees according to the moon cycle.
Yeah.
And, and all the planting and everything.
Don't trust the moon, Kyrie.
Is the moon in a lobby?
Well, to see this as part of the, the sigh up that we would even question
the light in the sky, which I do.
I do.
Hey, why did it, why, like, why would we not question things?
I know, I know.
I saw, I saw a picture of the moon recently.
And every time I look at the moon, I'm like,
why is there a weird fake border on the moon?
I never remember seeing the weird fake border.
Is it my eyes?
So I, I just conclude, oh, it's my eyes.
Well, I saw a picture of the moon.
There's that weird fake border.
What the heck is that?
Right?
Like, so there's, there's something.
There's something.
We can't know everything.
I know, I know we strive to try, but.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
I think, you know, when that's also goes back to like forcing answers to come in,
you know, we will find out when we find out.
Yeah.
You know, I think letting go of that hunger for knowing everything sometimes is another,
could be another trap as well.
Sometimes let, let things be, but.
Yeah.
And it's what you said is exactly right.
The less you grind on trying to figure it out, we know very well.
The more insights and revelations that you have that were beyond your, your thought process,
they had to come in.
Yes, they're beyond your thought process.
That's a really good way of putting it that,
you know, you can try to think yourself out and find solutions out of everything, but
to be, to create a new pathway, opening up new parts of the brain that we haven't used before,
that we didn't even know existed.
That's it.
You know, it's really rewiring a lot of the neurological stuff in the, in the trauma
things that I do is movement that can help the body rewire.
You'll see there's a lot of neurology specialists where, you know, they're,
they're doing kind of goes back to the EMDR stuff, where you move your eyes
in a different way or your shoulder moves different because you're not,
you're trying to allow the body to move in its own free will because we put our own
limitations on movement based on pain.
So when you can create new stories, you can create new range of motion in the body.
Just by moving the body different, moving the eyes in a different direction,
things like that.
And you can increase range of motion.
Like I've seen it, people's faces, their draws drop in class when I'm doing things with people.
There's all kinds of resources too on Instagram.
If you know, you guys won't have a look at it.
It's, it's no secret out there, but people have profound results.
They'll tell me, you know, I've been in a car crash for 15 years and my shoulder
can't move, you know, and they'll show up five or six weeks and have almost full
range of motion back in their shoulder.
Wow.
Because they rewired the story.
Nice.
Amazing.
You know, and released whatever was there through somatic movement.
Nice.
Do you want to tell our folks one more time how to reach you?
What's the best way to get ahold of you?
You can email me at yogacoachmel at gmail.com.
I don't have a website set up.
I don't know what my resistance to that is, but there is one.
I didn't make this clickable just in case the bot scrapped it, but
yogacoachmel at gmail.com if you want to take a note there.
If you want to personally email me or if you have any questions for me.
And then on Facebook, of course, I don't put too much stuff on there, but,
you know, you can always message me there.
And if you're interested in more of my music,
which I hope can be an inspiration to others,
you can find Honey Days right now on YouTube.
It's spelled D-A-I-S-E because Honey Daisy was taken.
So I had to be different and a little harder to find, you know?
There you go.
Yeah.
Or I mean, you can always contact Beth sometime in the free will.
Yeah.
The house of free will.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
You're there on the chat.
And then in and out sometimes.
Righto, righto.
Well, thank you everyone for coming.
It's been a pleasure.
Thank you, Melanie, for joining me.
How much fun was that?
It was a lot of fun to talk about stuff.
Right on.
Really nice.
Yeah.
I really enjoyed it.
Thank you for having me.
You're very welcome.
Yeah.
All right, everyone.
I'm going to play us out as usual.
And I have to set that up.
Give me a second.
And no, yep, that was it.
The buttons just press themselves after a while.
Anything else I want to tell you guys?
No, I think we're good to go.
Nice.
Yeah, okay.
I'm not used to my angle here.
There.
I'm going to swing over this way more.
Yeah, it's amazing how little angle can change everything.
Oh, hey, it is amazing.
That is the key.
A little different angle.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Different look at something makes all the difference.
Thanks, everyone, for coming.
Lots of love.
Bye for now.
Thank you.
Good call.
Nice.